Chapter 36 #3
He glanced up at the cameras, jaw tight. “We don't have to do anything,” he said. “We can fake it. I'll make sure the angles work, that they can't tell. You'll still pass the trial.”
I blinked, certain I'd misheard him. “You... you’d really fake it?”
“I told you I'd respect your boundaries,” he said, stepping closer. “And I meant it. I've stayed away for a month like you asked, and I'll keep my word now. We can make this look real for the cameras without...” He gestured vaguely between us. “Without doing anything you don't want to do.”
A month ago, I would've jumped at the offer. Would've been grateful for the out.
But now...
Now I'd spent four weeks dreaming about him.
Four weeks wondering why he'd stayed away when I'd expected him to break his word.
Four weeks of that traitorous part of me missing the intensity of his gaze, the possessive way he touched me, the way my body responded to him despite every logical thought in my head.
“Violet?” His voice was gentle but laced with concern. “We should decide soon, or they'll get suspicious about why we're just standing here talking.”
The truth serum was still humming in my veins, making everything feel more honest, more raw. Making it impossible to lie to myself. And the honest truth was...
I didn't want to fake it.
My body was staging a coup against me, just like it did in the forest during the Selection hunt. I wanted Julian to claim me again. I wanted him to touch me everywhere. Fuck me senseless. Force me to come, over and over.
“No,” I said, my voice barely above a whisper.
Julian went very still. “No?”
“I don't want to fake it.” The words came out before I could stop them, before I could overthink or talk myself out of it. “I want... I want this to be real.”
Multiple expressions flashed in Julian’s eyes at once; surprise, heat, and something fierce and possessive that should've scared me but made my stomach flip instead.
“Violet.” My name came out rough, almost broken. “I want you so fucking badly… but you need to be sure about this. You're not yourself right now, and I don't want you to do something you'll regret.”
“I'm sure,” I said, and I was. The elixir hadn't created this desire. It had just stripped away my ability to deny it. “I've been sure for a long time now. I just… I couldn’t admit it.”
He closed the distance between us in two strides, his hands coming up to frame my face. “Once we start,” he said, his voice low and intense, “I don't know if I'll be able to stop. I've been thinking about you every day for a month, Violet. Every. Single. Day.”
“I won’t want you to stop,” I whispered. “Because I've been thinking about you too.”
His thumb brushed across my cheek, and I saw the exact second his control snapped. The careful restraint in his expression dissolved, replaced by raw hunger.
“Tell me again,” he demanded. “Tell me you want this.”
“I want this,” I said, meeting his gaze directly. “I want you.”
Then his mouth was on mine, and everything else ceased to exist.
The kiss was nothing like the one in the forest four weeks ago, which had been desperate and urgent and slightly rough. This was different. This was a month of pent-up longing, of dreams and denials and finally, finally getting what he wanted.
His hands moved from my face to my waist, pulling me against him as his tongue swept into my mouth. I made a sound, half gasp, half moan, and felt him shudder in response.
“Fuck, Violet,” he breathed against my lips. “I've missed you so fucking much.”
Then he kissed me again as his hands found the golden cord at my waist, tugging it free. The white gown slipped off my shoulder, pooling at my feet, and I stood before him naked, suddenly hyperaware of the cameras recording every moment.
Julian's gaze raked over me, hot and possessive, and I felt my skin flush under his attention. “Beautiful,” he murmured. “So fucking perfect.”
Then his hands were on me again, and I stopped thinking entirely.
He guided me toward the altar, his mouth trailing down my neck as I fumbled with the ties of his robes. They fell away, and then it was skin on skin, heat and want and need.
When he lifted me onto the altar, the silk cool against my back, I reached for him without hesitation. Pulled him down to me. Wrapped myself around him like I was afraid he might disappear if I let go.
He kissed me yet again, swallowing the desperate whimper that had bubbled up my throat. And then there were no more words, no more doubts. Just the two of us and the overwhelming relief of finally giving in to what had been building between us for weeks.
I forgot about the cameras. Forgot about the ritual, the Club, everything except the feeling of him moving against me, inside me, all over me.
Forgot about everything except this.
Our kiss deepened, becoming hard and ruthless, all hunger and insistence. It sent a sharp flare straight through me, desire curling low and hot, making my knees feel weak.
“I knew you’d give in, baby,” Julian murmured when he finally pulled back, just enough to breathe. “You wanted this before, and you still do. You always have.”
All I could manage was a broken sound, barely more than a breath leaving my lips.
“Say it again,” he said, voice rough, mouth brushing my ear. His hand tightened on my ass, fingers digging in with just enough force to make pleasure spike through me. “I know you like pretending you don’t want me. But I need to hear it. One more time.”
“I want you,” I gasped, head tipping back to give him access to my throat as his lips traced downward. “I want all of you.”
The moment the words left my mouth, Julian drove into me in a single, punishing thrust. “So fucking wet,” he muttered close to my ear. “You give yourself away every time.”
“Yes,” I choked out. “Yes.”
He pulled back and slammed into me again, harder, deeper, the stretch bordering on painful as pleasure sparked violently through my body. His pace turned frantic, fueled by need, the rough sounds he made dragging moans from my throat as my hands raked over his back.
“Come for me,” he ordered, thrusting deep once more. “Come on my cock.”
The pressure coiled tighter and tighter, every nerve ending screaming, and I squeezed my eyes shut as the release tore through me, fierce and overwhelming, leaving me shaking and breathless.
Julian didn’t slow. He lifted my hips, forcing me to take every relentless drive even as I came apart beneath him, overstimulation sharpening the pleasure until I cried out.
“Oh, fuck,” I gasped as his cock hit something deep inside me, wringing every last aftershock from my body.
A moment later, he groaned, going rigid as he finished, still buried inside me. When he finally withdrew, I watched him pull away, the air between us suddenly thick with tension.
I closed my eyes for a few seconds. When I looked up again, Julian’s eyes were locked on mine. He reached out, and I flinched, instinctively bracing, but his fingers merely brushed my forehead, surprisingly gentle.
“No one will ever think that was fake,” he murmured against my hair.
I let out a soft, breathless laugh. “No way.”
We lay tangled together on the silk-draped altar, both breathing hard. Julian's hand was in my hair, his other arm wrapped around my waist like he couldn't bear to let me go.