Chapter 28
Chapter Twenty-Eight
A sea of bliss. That's what Tori's life has become. Every day she's floating in warm turquoise waters.
"And I thought we were spending a lot of time together before," she says, stretching out next to Liam as they both relax in her bed.
It's been a week since they visited his parents in Portland. Currently, it's a normal Thursday night, which means they're naked and sweaty after another round of the best sex ever. Faking orgasms seems like a lifetime ago, because now it’s all so easy. A living dream. She’s never loved anyone like this, never felt so loved and cherished in return.
"We were amateurs back then," he explains, drawing her close. Their bodies tangled up in each other’s. "We've turned pro."
She laughs. "This feels like an addiction. I can't get enough of you." He starts singing the song "Addicted to Love," and she rolls her eyes. "Wow, you're so corny."
"Hey, you're the eighties aficionado."
"Hello? Is that a hair band? I don't think so."
"I see. So you have your limits."
Stroking his cheek, she smiles. "Don't worry, I love you even though you're a cornball."
"And I love you even though you listen to Poison."
"My music's not poison."
"I'm talking about the band."
She giggles, and they gaze at each other. This is what they do. Tease and play around, have endless sky-rocket sex, and tell each other "I love you" at least fifty times a day.
"Our brains are swimming in a brew of dopamine and oxytocin," she informs him. "I happened to read about it in a magazine recently."
"So we're high on love drugs, huh?" He trails his fingertips down her arm, a thoughtful expression on his face.
"Even Blair said we were annoying to be around." They had dinner with Blair and Road last night. The tables have turned, since usually Tori was the one getting annoyed with them.
"All we did was hold hands," Liam says. "And I guess I kissed you a few times."
"And then I fed you some of my enchiladas, and you fed me some of your burrito." She pauses and laughs. "Gee, that sounds dirty."
He grins. "For the record, I'm always happy to taste your enchilada."
"Oh, you ." She pushes his shoulder and pretends to act coy, and then they go back to gazing at each other.
That's the other thing they do. His brown eyes have become her happy place. So rich and warm. Every time she looks into them, she knows she’s finally found him. Her special person. The one.
"I hit a home run with you," he whispers.
"You keep saying that."
"Because it's true. You mean the world to me. Everything."
She caresses his jaw. "You're my everything too."
Tori knows it's all over the top and doesn't care. She's never experienced anything even close to this. The new landscape of her life is filled with blue skies.
The only cloud is the one that's always been there, and unfortunately, it’s getting darker.
Her mom's been calling her every other night, drunk and speaking gibberish. She wants to know if Tori's still involved with that "fucking fed," and when Tori says she is, her mom goes off on a crazy nonsensical rant.
She's managed to keep the whole thing hidden from Liam. Doesn't want it to spoil what they have.
Just business as usual .
Hiding the truth about her mom has been a way of life so long, it's all she's ever known.
Tori went over there twice last week, right after they got back from Portland, trying to convince her mom to stop seeing Wayne. Unfortunately, she was too drunk to listen to reason.
She's trying again tomorrow, planning to be there when her mom comes home from work while she's still sober.
"Hey, what is it?" Liam asks, tracing her hairline in that way he does. "You've got that look again."
It's not easy keeping a secret from someone she's this intimate with, not to mention someone who's a trained professional at catching a lie.
She shakes her head. "It's nothing. I'm fine."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes." She scoots closer and grins. "But if you don't mind, I'd like to taste a very particular Mexican dish. "
He grins and opens his arms. "My burrito is all yours."
Liam wishes Tori would tell him what's bothering her. He's certain it has something to do with her mom. Probably her drinking. She wears the same expression every time her mom comes up in conversation, so he recognizes it.
He doesn't push though. He figures she'll tell him eventually.
The two of them are in sync in every other way. All the women he's been with in the past seem inconsequential now. In some ways it's like he was a different person back then, living another life.
Their relationship has grown even deeper since visiting his parents. It's richer. Telling her he loves her was a relief, and finding out she felt the same way was a gift. He never minded those bathroom visits, but they were obviously a big deal to her.
He has to admit, it's sexy as hell watching her climax.
At long last, his life is coming together. Not just his personal life but work too. Everything feels right, and he knows it's because of Tori. He's never been this energized, this clear-headed and in control.
Combing through Rizzo's books and meeting with witnesses, he's in the zone, connecting dots, putting pieces of this giant jigsaw puzzle together. A map of Rizzo's criminal activity has emerged, and so far this is proving to be the biggest arrest of his career. Liam’s whole squad is getting accolades.
Matt and Amy invited them over for dinner and took to Tori right away, just like his parents. So far everybody likes her, except one person.
Elena.
He finally goes to his sister's house Friday after work. It's great to see Marcus and Sam. They have dinner, and then he plays catch in the backyard with the kids.
"Good try," he calls out to Sam. "But don't forget to keep your eye on the ball. "
"Okay, Uncle Liam."
He throws the next one to Marcus, who catches it easily. He's older and has more practice than his brother. "Great. Now widen your stance a little before you throw it back."
They continue to play, and Liam reminds himself not to give too many instructions since he doesn't want to kill the fun.
His sister sits silently in her lawn chair on the sidelines. "You look healthy and happy," she says, watching him. "I'm guessing that Rizzo case will open up new doors for you at the bureau."
He shrugs. "Maybe. We'll see."
"I know the boys sure miss having you around."
"I've missed them too. They're welcome to come over anytime, you know that."
She remains silent, and he glances at her. There's a stubborn look on her face. His sister's a fierce advocate for those she loves, but has difficulty forgiving anyone who crosses her family.
Under normal circumstances he understands it, but this is not a normal circumstance. "How's work going?" he asks, searching for a neutral topic.
"Fine." She tells him about her new manager and how she's picked up a few more projects.
"Sounds great." He catches a ball from Marcus. "Nice throw."
"So I heard you took Tori down to meet Mom and Dad."
He nods. "That's right. I did."
"Apparently they like her."
"They do."
"Unbelievable." She snorts. "She's fooled everyone."
"Let's not go there again," he says. "Seriously. I'd like to have a pleasant evening."
She seems to wrestle with something. "Look, whatever you do, just don't marry her, okay?"
He doesn't reply, only retrieves the ball Sam threw.
Elena stares at him with wide eyes. "Oh my God, please don't tell me you're thinking about marriage. "
"I'll tell you the same thing I told Dad." He meets her angry expression. "This is it for me. Tori's the one."
"Baby girl," her mom says with surprise when she comes home to see Tori waiting on the front steps for her. "What are you doing here?"
"I came to have dinner with you." She picks up the bag of groceries she got for her mom on the way over.
"That's so sweet. Come on inside."
The bag's filled with the kind of TV dinners her mom likes. She also bought her fruit, salad mix, and a variety of smoothies. "Is Wayne coming over?"
"No, he's out of town on business." Her mom unlocks the door and they both enter.
Tori's relieved he won’t be here. She follows her mom into the kitchen, noticing how all the new furniture and stuff has brought its own scent. The house smells like cigarettes, but something foreign too.
As usual, her mom is dressed like she's filming an office porno. Tight pencil skirt and a low-cut top. Four-inch platform pumps. Her blonde hair's teased up high at the crown. It doesn't usually bother Tori, but today it makes her sad. It's like her mom's always trying so hard, always wants to maintain this image of glamour.
But for what? Guys like Wayne?
"I wanted to talk to you about something," Tori says, unloading the groceries.
"Please tell me you're dumping that FBI boyfriend." She reaches for the bottle of whiskey and pours a good amount into a glass.
"No, I’m not."
"You're making a mistake." Tasting her drink, she puts it down and adds sugar and a squeeze of lemon. "I wish you'd listen to me. You can't trust a person like that."
"You need to stop seeing Wayne. "
Her mom laughs. "Why would I do that?"
"You know why."
"I have no idea what you're talking about."
Tori sighs and glances around the kitchen. She spots a new blender in the corner. A fancy one there's no way her mother could afford.
"He's a thief, isn't he? A smuggler too."
Her mom stops what she's doing and turns toward her. "Where did you hear that?"
Tori doesn't answer. Instead, she studies her mom, disturbed by what she finds. Her eyes are bloodshot with deep lines around them. Her skin color is uneven and sallow. The woman she grew up with, who was once so beautiful, looks old and wrung out.
"Who told you that?" she demands to know. "Did that fed say something to you?" Her words slur slightly, and Tori blinks at her with surprise. She sounds like she's been drinking, but she's only had a sip of that whiskey sour.
With worry, her eyes flash to her mom's purse. For all her problems with alcohol, the one rule her mom seemed to stick with was staying sober at her job. "Were you drinking at work today?"
"What? Don't be ridiculous."
Tori reaches for the purse sitting on the counter.
"What are you doing?"
"Is there a bottle in here?"
"Of course not. Get your hands off that." Her mom tries to grab it, but she isn’t fast enough. "You have no right to go through my things!"
Tori ignores her and reaches inside the bag while her mom rants hysterically.
"It's that fucking boyfriend of yours, isn't it? This is what happens when you let someone like that into your life. No respect for your family!"
Right away, Tori feels the small bottle and pulls it out. It's vodka.
Her mom shakes her head. "It's just temporary. You don't know what I've been going through lately. The kind of stress I'm under. "
"This is crazy. Your drinking is out of control." She goes over to the sink with the bottle. "We need to get you some help, but first you have to stop seeing Wayne. He's nothing but trouble."
To her surprise, her mom bursts out crying. " Oh my God. If I'd known, I would have stopped him."
"What are you talking about?" She dumps the vodka down the drain.
"That's why I've been so stressed. It's the guilt. You have to believe me when I tell you I'm so sorry, baby girl."
"Sorry about what?"
"You haven’t figured it out?" She takes a shaky breath. "Mable."
"What about her?"
"Wayne's the one who took her."
Tori freezes. It's one thing to suspect something, but another to have it confirmed. "He told you that?"
"He found the keys. But he only said he would borrow her. If I'd known what he was going to do, I'd never have let him!"
Her head swims. Ironically, Mable being stolen was the one thing that made her doubt Wayne was a thief. I mean, why steal from his girlfriend's daughter and create a trail back to himself? "What keys?" Tori asks. "I never gave you keys to Mable."
Her mom nods and appears nervous. "You did. Right after you got her."
Tori leans back against the counter, feeling queasy. She'd forgotten her mom had a set of keys. "How could you let him take her? You put Wayne before me ?"
"No, baby girl. I would never."
"But you did ."
"He was only borrowing her, that's all."
"He lit her on fire." Tori's face grows hot. "Did you know that? Did you know her interior was a burned-out shell?"
"I'm so sorry." Her mom cries. "I never wanted to hurt you."
"Why didn't you break up with him?"
Her mom tears off a paper towel and dabs her face. "He said it was an accident. That one of his guys did it before he could stop him."
"And you believed that?"
"It was just a big misunderstanding. The insurance paid you, right? He told me they would." Wiping her eyes, there's a hopeful note in her voice as she moves closer. "And now you have Samantha." She tries to stroke her daughter's ponytail, but Tori jerks away.
"Don't touch me." She pushes back from the counter. It feels like her head is going to explode. Her chest is tight and painful. "I have to get out of here. I can't breathe."
Her mom follows her to the door. "You can't tell anyone about this, you understand? Especially not that boyfriend of yours. Wayne could get in a lot of trouble."
"I don't give a shit about Wayne."
Her mom's hand flies out and grabs Tori’s arm, her fingers tight. "This is serious. Promise me you won't say anything. I could get in trouble too."
"Let go of me."
"Promise first."
Tori studies her mom's tired and worn-out face. She knows it wasn't easy for her raising three kids as a single mother. Times were tough, and money was tight. And then there was the endless succession of men. Nobody wanted to stick around.
"Promise me." Her mom's voice rises with panic. "You have to promise!"
Deep down, Tori's always been scared she'd wind up exactly like her.
"Please, baby girl."
She tries to take a breath, but it hurts. " Fine . I promise."
Tori tries to stay calm as she heads home in Samantha, tries to catch her breath though she's shaking all over. There’s a text from Liam reminding her he's going to a baseball game tonight with Road and Brody.
She pulls over to finish reading it.
It’ll run late. Do you still want me to come over afterward?
She hesitates. It's Friday, and normally she'd say yes, but she doesn't want him to see her like this. I'm going to turn in early tonight. I'll just see you tomorrow.
Everything okay?
I'm fine. Have fun tonight. I love you .
I love you more .
Her gaze lingers over his words.
By the time she arrives home, she's full-on crying and can barely see the road. She's furious at Wayne for stealing Mable. Furious at her mom's part in this whole mess.
After feeding her animals their dinner, Tori takes a long, hot bath. She tries to work on her knitting but then watches TV instead. Wrapped in her bathrobe, surrounded by her dogs, she tries to figure out what to do.
She's gone through plenty of hard times with her mom. Times where her drinking got worse. Times with asshole men. Somehow they've gotten through them all, and they'll get through this too.
A little after eleven, there's a knock on her front door. She's startled by it. Who could that be?
A freaky thought comes to her. What if it's Wayne? What if her mom said something to him, and now he wants to make sure she keeps quiet?
Holding her breath, she slowly pushes a corner of the living room curtain aside.
The first thing she sees is Liam's black truck parked behind her minivan.
Thank God .
She goes over to open the door. Even though she told him not to come over, she's glad he did anyway.
"You're here," she says, nearly crying at the sight of him .
"Is this all right? I wanted to make sure you’re okay. I'll go if you want me to—" He stops talking as he takes in her expression. "What is it?"
She only shakes her head.
He steps inside and closes the door behind him, and the next thing she knows, she's wrapped in his arms. Surrounded by the smell of popcorn and mustard from the ballpark, she starts crying again.
They wind up on the couch. She tries to stop, but it's all bubbling to the surface, ready to spill over.
"What's wrong?" he asks. He kisses her cheek and then her lips. "Tell me. You can tell me anything."
Her mouth opens. The words are right there on the tip of her tongue. All of them.
"Is it your mom?"
She nods. A hiccup escapes her.
"Her drinking?"
"Yes." Her breath trembles as she tries to speak. "It's bad. She's been drinking at work." She hiccups again.
"You have to get her into rehab, Tori. She needs help."
The dogs have gathered around, and she puts her hand out and pets each of them. She suddenly remembers Mable and how she brought all her dogs home for the first time in that shiny blue minivan.
Liam's watching her closely. "Is there something else?"
"No." She swallows and shakes her head. No matter what's happened, she can't rat out her own mother.
He strokes her back over the robe. "I know you said she doesn't want help, but maybe I could go over and talk to her."
This almost makes Tori smile. She reaches for a tissue from the box on her coffee table. "That's sweet of you to offer, but I think you're the last person she'd listen to."
"Are you sure? I can be very convincing."
She takes a breath and wipes her nose. "Not in this situation. Let me work on her, or maybe I can ask Road to help." She glances over at him, hoping to change the subject. "How was the baseball game tonight? Did you guys have fun?"
"Yeah, we had a good time." He tells her more about the game. Tori's glad he's getting along with her brother and Brody. It sounds like they're becoming friends.
Later, when they're in bed together, he brings her a spoonful of peanut butter to help with the hiccups. "Thanks." She smiles at him. "I love you."
"I love you too."
She licks the spoon. "Why did you come over tonight? How did you know I was upset?"
He lies down, propping his head up on his hand. "It was your text. There were no emojis or exclamation marks."
"What do you mean?"
"You always text me with lots of hearts and kissy faces. When you sent me that plain text, I realized something wasn't right."
This had never occurred to her. She takes in Liam's handsome features as she finishes the last of her peanut butter. The sharp intelligence behind those brown eyes. A sense of unease settles over her. "You don’t miss much, do you?"
"No, I don’t."
Tori has a fitful night. Strange dreams. Dreams about Mable and Wayne, and a blowtorch. Even after Liam makes love to her, the dreams are still there.
Sometime during the early morning hours, she finally falls into a deep sleep. When she wakes up, Liam is in bed beside her, bare-chested and reading his Kindle.
"Hey, sleepyhead." He smiles over at her. "I'm glad you finally got some rest."
She scoots closer to him, and he lifts his arm so she can wrap herself around his warm body. "What time is it?" she murmurs, snuggling against him.
"Almost noon."
" What? " She lifts her head in alarm. "I have to feed everyone! They must be starving." Surprisingly, the only dogs on the bed are Miss Fancy Pants and Tommy Lee, both of them snoozing contentedly.
"Don't worry, I gave them all breakfast." He thumbs his Kindle to turn the page.
"You did?"
"Sure. I've seen you do it enough times."
"What about Lita and Joan?"
"Them too."
"Really?”
He chuckles. "I'm not completely useless."
"I guess not," she teases, then hugs him tight. "Wow, I can't believe I slept so late."
"I'm not surprised. It seemed like you were tossing and turning all night."
She thinks back to her terrible dreams, but she doesn't want to talk about those.
They both go quiet after that, and she lets her eyes drift shut. Liam strokes her hair absentmindedly while he continues to read.
Tori listens to the steady beat of his heart. It soothes her soul, relaxing her.
It's a lazy Saturday, and the summer sun shines clean and bright. Someone's mowing their lawn in the distance. Her bedroom window’s open, and she imagines all her problems floating away on a breeze.
This moment.
If she could capture it in a bottle, she would. And whenever she's lost or sad, she could open it and remember how peaceful and loved she once felt.
"Uh-oh. I just realized something. "
"What's that?" he murmurs, still playing with her hair.
She turns her face toward his. "I've been awake fifteen minutes, and we haven't said 'I love you' yet."
He gazes down at her with mock concern. "Damn, you're right. We're slipping." His dark eyes stay on hers. "I love you, rubia , " he whispers.
"I love you too."
She sighs and hugs him close again. Miss Fancy Pants picks up on the good vibes and comes over so Tori can pet her.
"What are you reading?" she asks, glancing up at his Kindle.
" Edge of Zen. "
"My brother's book?"
"It was a best seller. I have to admit, it's good."
Tori stares at him with amazement. "What's happening here? Are you and Road becoming BFFs?"
He laughs. "I don't know about that. It turns out he's an interesting guy though."
"I suppose I should be glad you're getting along."
"You should. That reminds me, I'm going to a batting cage to hit some balls with him and Brody soon."
"Wow, I think Hell just froze over."
They lounge around for a while longer, but Tori gets restless. She goes to check on her animals, who are all out in the backyard enjoying the sun. Since it's so nice out, she works in the yard for a while, weeding around her garden, trimming all the various herbs she grows.
Liam joins her outside, mowing her front and backyard. She makes a big pitcher of iced tea and brings him a glass, figuring he could use one.
"Thanks," he says. She watches his throat work as he drinks half of it down.
"Why did you put your shirt back on? It was a treat watching you get all sweaty. "
"Because I seem to have acquired an audience." He motions over her shoulder.
"You have?" Tori turns and sees her neighbor Mrs. Waligorski having drinks on the back deck with three of her lady friends. They've positioned their chairs with a clear view of Liam. "Hello," she calls over.
Mrs. Waligorski grins, and all the ladies wave.
"It's their monthly book club meeting. They've invited me to a few of them." What she doesn't tell him is they read some pretty racy books in that club.
When the evening rolls around, they take a shower together and then go out for dinner and a movie like a normal dating couple.
"Look at you, so pretty," he says to her from across the table at the Italian restaurant. "I can't take my eyes off you."
"Just sexily slurping my spaghetti noodles." She bats her lashes at him.
"I love you when you eat pasta," he purrs.
"And I love you when you drink iced tea," she coos.
He picks up his glass. "I drink a lot of iced tea."
"Which means I love you all the time."
He chuckles. "Damn, we're disgusting. If I wasn't so crazy in love with you, I think I'd throw up."
"I know." She laughs. "It's revolting. You couldn't pay me to have dinner with us."
The movie is a sexy romantic comedy. They eat popcorn, laughing at all the jokes and having a great time.
"Gosh, Agent Castillo, it turns out you're the perfect date," she says as they walk to his truck afterward holding hands. It's a warm night, the sky dark and cloudless above them.
"And you're just plain perfect." He leans in and kisses her.
A glow of happiness surrounds her like the summer night.
He squeezes her hand. "What do you say we go park somewhere and make out like teenagers?"
"Sounds great. "
They get back in his truck and are driving toward Seattle when her phone rings. Bon Jovi's "Living on a Prayer."
She glances at the time on his dashboard. It's almost eleven.
All her happiness drains away. A dark cloud moves in, sucking the air out of the truck's cab.
"You going to answer that?"
"Yeah." She sighs.
She's not surprised to see it's Donna. Not surprised to be told her mom and Wayne are out in the front yard screaming at each other.
"What's going on?" Liam glances over at her.
She listens as Donna tells her Wayne is throwing beer bottles at the house. "Please don't call the cops. I'll be there shortly."
"Just let her call the police," he insists. "They can handle it."
"No." Tori puts her phone back in her purse. "I don't want the police involved. Could you take me home, and I'll go deal with this?"
"I'll take you there."
"That's not necessary."
Liam pulls his truck over into a strip mall parking area and turns to face her. "Look, there's no way in hell I'm letting you go there alone."
Tori tries to take a deep breath, but her chest feels tight. "Please, just take me home. I prefer to handle it on my own."
"Why?" He studies her. "Why would you argue about this? It makes no sense."
"I just think my mom will be easier to deal with if I'm alone. She'll freak out if she sees you."
"And what about Wayne?"
She shifts uncomfortably. "He's mostly harmless."
"Mostly?" Liam puts the truck in gear. "Forget it, I'm coming." He drives toward her mom's. She’s tempted to keep arguing but knows it will seem weird.
As he pulls into her mom’s neighborhood, a dark blue minivan speeds past them .
Tori's mouth drops open. She catches a glimpse of the driver and is certain it was Wayne.
She flashes over to Liam and sees how he's watching the van in his rearview mirror.
When they pull up to her mom's house, things are surprisingly quiet. Her mom's sitting outside on her front steps, barefoot and dressed in what looks like a slip. She has her face in her hands.
They both get out of the truck and walk toward her.
"Mom, are you okay?"
She lifts her head, bleary-eyed, crying, and definitely wasted. "Baby gurrl. You came back."
Guilt eats through Tori for the way she ran out of here yesterday. She knows she had every right to be upset, but this is still her mom, and she doesn't want her to be sad. "Come on, I'll help you up."
"He left me," her mom says, fumbling as Tori tries to help her stand. "Wayne's gone. Says he doesn't want me anymore."
"Everything's going to be okay."
"That thieving bastard!" she yells, lashing out at the night. "You think I want all your stolen shit in my house? Take it back. I don't care!"
"Let's get you inside," Tori says quickly, trying to cover up her mom's words. She doesn't dare look at Liam. "You're just angry and talking nonsense."
Her mom sees him behind her and glares. "What are you looking at?"
"I'm here for Tori," he says quietly.
"You're the damn problem," she says, her speech slurring. "My daughter needs to stay away from men like you ."
Tori gets her mom inside the house and guides her toward the bedroom. When she glances back at Liam, he's following her. "I’ve got this," Tori tells him. "I'm just going to put her to bed."
He nods, looking around the house.
It takes a lot of coaxing and a few lies, but Tori finally manages to get her mom to lie down. As usual, she rolls her on her side and tucks pillows and blankets behind her in case she throws up.
After washing her hands, Tori goes back out to the living room to find Liam sitting on the couch.
"I'm going to have to stay over," she tells him. "I can't leave her alone when she's this bad."
He doesn't say anything.
"You can go home. I'll call you tomorrow."
A strange vibe's coming off him. When he meets her eyes, there's a hardness she doesn't recognize.
"What is it?" she asks.
His voice is quiet when he speaks, though his words are louder than a gunshot. "How long have you known this was going on?"