Chapter 2
“Go to the right. We’re almost there,” Cass says, carrying the final box of my belongings. We could have taken the elevator, but with one being broken and the other—already taken over by a group of girls occupying one of the larger apartments, we opted to use the stairs.
The apartment building is just off campus, and while it mostly houses students, it should be a neat transition from living in a dorm to renting someplace on my own.
But instead of looking at the beige walls and barf-green carpet in the corridor, all I can focus on are the muscles of Cass’s back flexing under his T-shirt.
We both love sporty stuff, hiking, swimming, so he’s always been fit, like me, but he’s grown since high school.
His T-shirt fits on the tighter side, and it's hard not to assess how much work he must put into his workouts. Is it to attract guys, which is a weird thought in itself, or simply because he wants to be more toned? I’m not sure if it’s appropriate to ask.
“This is a good workout though!” I laugh, taking another sneak peek at him.
Yep, definitely more muscular.
Cass bumps his shoulder into the door and leads the way into a bright interior with large windows.
To the right is a kitchen, and to the left—a wall of green interrupted by the dark blot of the flatscreen TV.
Cassian’s always loved plants, but since he’s moved away from home it has become more of an obsession.
And I’ve already seen way more in his bedroom.
“It will feel like living in a jungle,” I say, taking in the endless greenery.
“Hope you don’t mind?” Cass asks, settling the box on the kitchen counter.
“My previous roommate claimed half of those shelves for his books, but I took them over since,” he says with a grin before heading to the window where a Venus flytrap grows out of an ornamental pot.
“And here she is. You can finally meet Lollobrigida in person. Or should I say, in plant.”
I chuckle. “Did she wave? It’s only natural to wave back, right?” I say and wiggle my hand at the plant that’s Cassian’s pride and joy. “She won’t eat me at night if I’m polite to her, right?”
But then I turn my attention back to my best friend. The front of his T-shirt is dark with moisture, and it sticks to his body.
Seeing the change in my face, he offers me an apologetic smile. “Sorry, I think something broke in transport.”
“No, it’s my fault! I took a reckless turn when driving.
Fuck. Mom’s pickles must be leaking. You don’t want that on you.
It has staying power. Ask me how I know.
” I rush up to him and pull on the T-shirt so the fabric pulls away from his body.
I stiffen, realizing that what I'm doing could be considered weird, and end up just standing there, stuck in a conundrum of my own making.
Cass doesn’t seem to notice my awkwardness and pulls the top off, revealing his toned upper body with short dark hair dusted over his chest and stomach. Does he… trim it? No way it could have grown like that on its own. And his pecs?
Damn.
His pecs.
His skin is a naturally dusky shade, and sure, I’ve seen his nipples before, I know they’re a darker color than mine, but I’m still staring.
Is it because I’m jealous of how much he’s grown?
Ridiculous. I’m no small guy myself. I work out, though now I find myself wondering how long it would take me to match up with him.
Is it the difference between us that makes me analyze his looks all the time?
“Fuck. Sorry,” I mutter when he stills, and I turn, cheeks on fire.
There’s a moment of silence, and then, “You don’t have to look away. We’re both guys.”
“Hm. Are you sure? I don’t want you feeling weird. We’re both guys, but you’re also into guys, so I’m not sure how this works.”
“Are you attracted to me?” Cass asks with an edge of amusement to his voice.
“No!” I exclaim in a pitch all too high. “No,” I repeat, but now it’s too low. I clear my throat. “No. I’m straight. I was just looking because I noticed you beefed up.”
“The campus gym’s great, and the price is good,” Cassian says, walking past me with his T-shirt resting on his shoulder. Maybe I really am jealous, because I can’t stop staring. “Come on, I’ll show you around. It’s still early.”
“Just wash off those pickle juices because no man’s gonna want you if you smell like that,” I laugh a bit stiffly, because the more I see of him, the more I’m convinced every gay guy in this town would want a piece of Cass even if he smelled of vinegar.
Which he doesn’t. Nope, as I walk behind him, that delicious scent of rosemary and mint still pulls at my nose.
It’s a great cologne. I bet girls like it too.
“I’ll just tell them it’s exotic perfume someone brought me from abroad,” Cass says, approaching his bedroom. His gaze lingers on me, as if he wants to figure something out.
“You have to tell me where you got your cologne though, seriously. I can already see girls stopping in the street to smell me if I used it.” I laugh and put down my box, but even though I know I should get changed, I can’t force myself to break the eye contact. I missed him so much.
Cass hides inside his room, and only his head remains out. “Oh, it’s from that local natural cosmetics store. They have lots of different products, and I swear by their stuff. Get changed and we can go.”
And with that, he disappears from sight.
I drop to my narrow, bare bed with a deep sigh. I don’t know why I’m this rattled. I’ve seen Cass on camera, but it hits me every time I look at him just how handsome he’s gotten. Not that he wasn’t before, but we were teens, and in the two years we’ve been apart he’s turned into a man.
When I hear him rattling with something in the kitchen, I force myself up and change.
It’s an opportunity to assess myself. I have no reason to feel inadequate.
My blue eyes are a chick magnet, I’m athletic, sturdy, with dirty blond hair, and my nipples have a nice dark pink shade, no worse or better than Cass’s.
Why am I checking out my nipples?
With a groan, I pull on a fresh T-shirt that still smells of Mom’s fabric softener.
I don’t know her secret, but the laundry she does always smells so good.
I’ve noticed Cassian prefers dark, earthy tones like brown, green, gray, and black.
It’s pretty fitting with his love of nature actually, but I like a more sporty look with a splash of color here and there.
So for going out, I pull on a white T-shirt to go with my blue jeans, and a blue zip-up hoodie with the logo of my favorite national park on the back.
It’s pretty cool since it has a bear on it.
There really is no reason to be jealous, especially that girls have different preferences, as I’ve been informed by my female friends many times.
And yet, a part of me is annoyed that Cassian looks like an underwear model now and is likely the king of this fucking apartment building.
A knock on the door.
I jog over to open and raise my eyebrows. “You don’t have to knock. What did you think was happening? It’s not like I have time to jerk off in five minutes.” I laugh, but to be fair, it does take me less to get off sometimes.
Cass shrugs. He's wearing a dark blue T-shirt made of thin merino wool, which helps sweat evaporate instead of just getting damp. I wouldn't have even known that fabric factoid if it wasn't for Cass extensively explaining its properties to me during one of our many video calls.
“Well, I am gay, so I don’t want to make you feel weird.”
“What? You might be gay, but I can see you’re still a dumbass! Like we didn’t go skinny-dipping years ago. You’ve seen it all. If you keep making it weird, I’m gonna make you smell my armpit.” A punishment we used to inflict on each other back in the day.
He raises his hands with a smile. “Maybe another time.”
I shake my head in disbelief. Since when is he this polite? Oh well, a little teasing never hurt anyone, so I grab his arm and pull him before he knows what hit him.
“That’s it! You’re being weird. You’re smelling it!” I laugh and try to grab the back of his head with one hand, while pulling my T-shirt up with the other.
I see a flash of shock in his green eyes, but he’s not resisting with all the power those arms must hold.
Air tickles my armpit hair, and as I look at the outline of his face under my top, I’m not sure if this is still as funny as it used to be or...
gay. But it’s not like I can just withdraw now without seeming bothered, so I double down and trap his face under my arm.
His next inhale makes my skin feel odd, but before I decide what to do about it, his fingers find my ribs, and I try to twist away from the vicious tickling. This time, it’s him who won’t let me go.
“Revenge might be a dish best served cold, but I’m hungry for it now,” Cass roars, and his lips tickle the sensitive skin of my armpit.
Fuck. When did my nipples get hard?
“No! Not my kryptonite! So unfair!” I wrestle him, wheezing for breath, and all of a sudden we land on the bed, and it’s like the old times. My heart is so full it could burst.
Using his tickling superpower, he manages to slide his head out from under my T-shirt, all flushed, probably from being barely able to breathe under there.
“Do you surrender?” He asks and bites his lips, using his knees to trap my legs.
I raise my hand. “Truce! I give up!”
He’s… heavier than he used to be.
I look up to meet his gaze, green as pine needles when the sun shines through them. But before I get to say anything more, he crawls off and exits the room, leaving me on my bare mattress.
“Let’s get going!”
I’m at a point where I’d kinda rather stay in and binge movies with him all night, but I get my ass moving. I actually think this little wrestling match broke some barrier between us that needed breaching, and I feel so much less nervous now. Even if overheated from laughing.
“Ready when you are!”
But he’s already at the door, and I smile, excited to have him as my campus tour guide.