Chapter 21
I wake up to the scent of coffee and vanilla.
The mattress is a bit harder than mine, with bedding that’s kind of rough to the touch, but it smells like the most heavenly person on the planet, all mint, and rosemary, and musk.
My eyes pop open, and all I see is green as carnivorous plants stare at me from shelves attached to the walls. I feel like I’m in a greenhouse, only the air isn’t at all humid, with a breeze coming in through the window.
I’m feeling lazy, as if I’m still exhausted after all the stress, and then joy of last night, but when I hear the clink of plates in the kitchen, it’s a signal for me to roll out of bed.
There wasn’t much time for talking before we fell asleep, but for once I’m not nervous about my sexuality or the attraction I have for my best friend. There are things I want to share with Cass, but it’s no longer giving me a stomach ache.
I stop by my room to grab a pair of pajama pants, but then walk straight into the kitchen, stretching on the way.
“Good morning,” I say between one yawn and another, all too aware that I sound like a lovesick puppy.
Cass looks up from his mug.
He’s so gorgeous with short dark waves of hair framing his features, and his chest bared to reveal beautiful skin and muscle. But his smile is what truly captivates me, and I freeze, unsure what to do.
He chuckles and crosses the distance between us, pressing his mouth to mine.
“Good morning.”
Butterflies flutter their wings inside my chest, and wrapping my arm around his waist is the most natural thing on the planet. I lean into the kiss, unable to take my eyes off the green in his irises.
I want to feel him against me again. All of him. But for now, I settle for running my fingers up his spine.
“Are you making waffles? I thought I was the Waffle King of this house.”
Cass’s nose rubs against mine in a way that makes the butterflies do backflips in my stomach. “You are, but you looked so cute I didn’t want to wake you up. Plus, I’m sure you’re absolutely exhausted after using up all that energy last night,” he says and presses me against the counter.
As light-headedness sets in, I realize no one has ever behaved like this toward me, but while it’s new, I can’t help feeling both pleased and shy.
I suppose I shouldn’t expect anything else, considering I’m no longer the designated man of the relationship. Which might come with a bit of a learning curve, but I was happy to suck his dick last night, so I should have probably gotten the memo by now.
I run my hands up his chest, exploring this new position I find myself in. I’m with a man. But it’s not just any man. It’s my Cass. We’ve touched each other sometimes, but not in a way that suggested anything beyond friendship. Now, he’s exuding a sexual energy I can’t get enough of.
“Me? Cute?” I laugh, stunned. While I had many thoughts about how handsome he is, it didn’t occur to me that Cass might be assessing me in a similar way.
He nods and cups my face after putting down his mug.
I shiver when his fingertips brush my ears, and it makes him smile.
“The cutest guy I’ve seen, yeah. I—” He swallows and keeps rubbing my face with his thumbs.
“I’ve had such a crush on you since we were kids and I saw you do a handstand back in middle school, during Mrs. Ebenezer’s class.
I thought you were the hottest piece of ass on the planet. ”
Piece of ass.
That’s a new way to think about myself.
I chuckle, mindlessly running my hands up and down his sides.
I love everything about him. “I never thought I was particularly… crushable.” I laugh and give him another kiss.
“Out of us two, I always thought you were more handsome. The bait, so we both get girls. And then I always ended up just wanting to spend more time with you. I’m so oblivious.
How could I not see it when you were right in front of me? ”
Cass grins and leans in to give me the softest kiss on the lips.
We’re barely touching, but I want to melt into him and become an integral part of his gorgeous, toned body.
“Oh no, you were the hot one. The girls loved your jokes. I was always a bit shy with them, since I knew I wasn’t interested very early on. ”
I arch against him so that my chest presses against his.
“Do you love my jokes or do you just laugh at them to get in my pants?” I keep being amazed at how natural it feels to touch him.
There’s an invisible barrier I always observed with other men, but it’s no longer separating me from Cass.
We burned it down with the heat of our bodies last night.
Cassian gives a loud laugh before meeting my eyes, dead serious as he slides his fingers under the waistband at the back of my pants. “Is it working?”
My ears tingle with heat and I gasp when his hands grab my ass. It reminds me of that Halloween kiss I want to repeat while towering over him someday. Maybe I should wear the troll’s shoes again?
I nod. “Yeah. Definitely. I’m helpless. I can’t believe you liked-liked me back all the way in school. I’m so dumb.”
Cassian sighs and picks up his coffee, embracing me with one arm. Just being close to him like this makes everything inside me boil. “Well, I didn’t let you know. Back then, I was scared shitless of what would happen if you found out I was gay.”
I kiss his bicep, just because I can. I’m already planning to touch every inch of his body with my lips. “I get it. I’ve been freaking out since Halloween. That kiss really hit home for me. But then Logan was in the picture, and I was all over the place. I’m sorry I caused you so much stress.”
“Right,” Cassian says and points to a plate full of waffles cooling on the counter, inviting me to eat. “What was that about? After what we’ve done on your birthday, why didn’t you tell me you wanted me? Why did you break into Logan’s home?”
I groan and let my head fall back. I do need to eat if I’m to talk about all that bullshit.
“I panicked. It made sense in my head. I didn’t know what that BJ meant to you.
I decided I needed Logan out of the picture so we could have a clean slate.
I worried that I’d just be… you know, a side thing in your open relationship. ”
He blinks before pulling me into a tight hug, and I want to be nowhere else than in his warm arms. “Mattie! I’ve known you far longer than him. You think I would have risked our friendship like that? The thing I had with Logan… it was slowly dying,” he admits.
I put my chin on his shoulder and kiss his neck, my heart overflowing with the love I have for him.
“I don’t know. The fear of losing you clouded my judgment too many times lately.
I regret not talking to you sooner. I was stewing in my own juices when it came to the whole gay thing.
At least I had Aaron to talk to, but I’m so glad you’re with me now. ”
Cassian chuckles and picks up a plain waffle. He always eats them like that—on their own—and only gorges on items I’d consider toppings once he’s done with the waffle. He’s weird that way--yet another thing to love about him.
“Aaron? You picked Aaron as your advisor?” Cass asks with a smirk emerging on his face.
“Are you saying that’s why I made so many bad choices?” I laugh and kiss his Adam’s apple. “He helped me with the whole troll thing, but to give him credit, he did say it was a bad idea.”
“Of course he did. He’s so serious,” Cassian says, biting into the waffle. “Now, I’m not dissing him. It’s just that I don’t think he’s ever been with anyone.”
I frown. “Oh. But… he always seems like he knows what he’s talking about.”
I’m torn between the waffle and staying glued to Cassian, but my hunger wins when my stomach grumbles. I turn to the waffles to put syrup and fruit on top as quickly as humanly possible so that I can get back to Cass. He’s not wasting any time though and just hugs me from behind.
Which is… weird. And hot. Because his dick presses against my ass, and I don’t hate it. I’d love his dick pressing into any part of me. Nose, foot, armpit, you name it, I want his dick close.
“Well, he is a bit of a know-it-all, isn’t he?” I chuckle.
“I’m happy that he still had more sense than you,” Cass says, nuzzling the back of my neck as the sun brightens the kitchen.
A pleasant shiver runs down my spine. I love him touching me so much. I hope he never stops.
“The whole troll thing came about because I had this not-so-smart idea that I should anonymously find out whether I want to kiss you, so things between us don’t get weird if the answer’s no.
But then you liked the troll so much, and I didn’t know if you’d like me.
Cause the troll was taller, since I had these platform shoes, and bigger, and what if you liked me as a person, but didn’t think I’m hot?
At that point, I knew I wanted to kiss you again and again… Wow. I really made a mess of it.”
Cass slouches behind me with a hum on his lips. “Oh that’s so dumb, Mattie! I just—” He sighs and hugs me more firmly. “I knew Logan and I weren’t really a good match at that point. The troll was just an excuse to have a crazy adventure and seek out this sweet guy who got shy after kissing me.”
I laugh and have to stuff a sweet waffle in my mouth when my cheeks flame. “I wasn’t expecting—I don’t know what I was expecting, but you were forward. I liked it but still freaked out. You grabbed my ass like you meant business. I’m not used to that.”
“Is that… something that makes you uncomfortable? Having your ass grabbed?”
“No, I… I really liked it actually. I got so hard.” I laugh at the awkwardness of it all, but there’s no more shame in Cassian’s arms. “So I panicked when someone came over. And it was my first ever kiss with a guy. I think I got scared of how much I liked it.”