Chapter 21 #2
Cassian pulls on my shoulder and turns me around. I tighten my hold on the waffle, getting my fingers stickier, but the heat of his gaze makes me stop chewing. His eyes seem brighter than usual, and he swallows, pinning me in place with his gaze. My heart beats so fast I feel like I might faint.
Cassian exhales, opens his mouth, and exhales again before speaking. “I love you. And it really killed me when you were with Emily. But now you’re here with me, and you’re gay, and I want to make sure we’re on the same page.”
There’s that itching in my eyes again. My heart overflows.
“I can’t take back time. But I meant what I yelled in the street last night.
I love you. I want to be with you. With Emily, I always had this sense that something wasn’t quite right.
She must have felt it, and that’s why she broke up with me. She did us both a favor.”
Cassian chews on his lip. “Yeah, but what now? You’re only discovering yourself. It’s not fair of me to expect that you just settle for the first guy you kissed. I know I didn’t.”
I put down the half-eaten waffle, because this matter deserves all of my attention.
I cup his face. “Are you kidding me? I don’t want a ‘guy’.
I want you. Ever since Halloween, the way I look at men has been changing, and that’s weird, but I could only ever think of being with you.
It’s embarrassing how into you I am, really. ”
Cass looks down, but the corners of his mouth pull up. “Are you sure? This is the only time I’ll offer you more freedom. Take it or leave it.”
When I realize I’ve gotten his face sticky with syrup, I lean in to lick it off. His stubble against my tongue sends a tingle of excitement down my body. “And who’s the dumbass now, huh? This is freedom. Being able to touch you this way is my freedom. Why would I need anyone else?”
Cassian swallows and hugs me, pressing his warm face to the crook of my neck.
We’re such a perfect fit it almost scares me, but I choose to face the future without fear and embrace him back.
“We might as well make it official tonight,” Cassian suggests.
“Hm? What do you mean?” It’s hard to focus when he’s so close, and I spread my legs a little to rock against his thigh. Bliss.
“You don’t know? Kai’s birthday party is today at Rainbowology. We could go… as a couple,” he suggests and leans back to meet my gaze. Once again, there’s that bit of uncertainty keeping his features tense, and I itch to kiss it away.
I lick my lips, but despite my body saying yes!, I get nervous. Of course I want to be his. Officially. But being out in public is new to me. Then again, what better place to cross that boundary than at a gay-friendly cafe?
“Yes. Though… you should know something about Levi.”
“Levi?” Cassian frowns, all serious.
I rub my forehead. “Yeah, as I said, I did some stupid shit in the past weeks. Aaron spilled my secret about the crush on you to Levi, so he knows. He’s actually… I wasn’t sick that time he called you. I just wanted to sabotage your date. Sorry.”
Cassian shakes his head but doesn't seem angry. “It was for the better. For a moment there I thought you did something with Levi.”
I laugh. Not because Levi isn’t a handsome guy, but it wouldn’t even occur to me. I’m so focused on Cass that no one else matters. “Nah, he just helped me out a lot.”
We stare at one another as someone knocks on the door, making us both glance its way.
“Ugh, someone probably wants to talk about what happened last night,” Cass says with a scowl.
“Or the broken intercom?” I suggest and slide out of his embrace. “I’ll sort it out!”
“Oh, you better,” Cass said, wiggling his finger at me. He grabs a strawberry and eats it before squirting whipped cream straight into his open mouth.
He’s so damn sexy I might just make him my breakfast plate as soon as the neighbor’s gone. Strawberries and cream straight off his abs. Yes.
I open the door, smiling absentmindedly, but it’s not a neighbor.
Logan stares at me from the other side of the threshold.
“Oh,” is all I’ve got as I meet his gray eyes.
His gaze lowers to my neck, and I feel heat rising when I remember Cassian kissing and sucking on the skin there. I must look as if I’ve been attacked by a coterie of vampires.
“You didn’t waste any time,” Logan says curtly and lowers the brim of his hat.
I flinch when something bangs in the kitchen, but it’s only Cassian dropping the can of whipped cream. He stares at me as if he’s seen a ghost, but then rushes to my aid.
“Logan?”
I wish I had a scarf, but then I’d be half naked and wearing a scarf in the house, which would look even more ridiculous. “Um, yeah, stuff kinda… happened,” I mumble. At least I don’t have a boner, because I was on the verge of one before he announced his presence.
“It’s been brewing for a while, I assume,” Logan says in a flat voice and places a canvas bag on the floor. “I brought back the plant you gave me. I think it’s better off here,” he says when his eyes meet Cassian’s.
“It’s not like tha—” Cass says.
Logan stops him by placing his index finger across his own mouth. “It is exactly like that, whether you want to acknowledge that or not. You started pulling away from me as soon as he arrived.”
I groan because he’s got a point. I can’t even hate him for it anymore. “Listen, I was figuring stuff out…”
Logan shakes his head. “I didn’t ask for your life story.”
Harsh. But fair.
I raise my hands in surrender. “I’m sorry I raided your house. That was not cool.”
His lips turn into a thin line. “Not cool at all.”
His discomfort is obvious, so I don’t prod as he takes a step back, leaving the plant on our doorstep. He hands Cass the spare keys.
“Will we see you at the party tonight?” Cassian asks, but I think we both know the answer before Logan shakes his head.
“No, I have other plans.”
I sizzle in my discomfort. “Logan? No hard feelings? I really didn’t mean to be such a shit.” I dare to offer him my hand.
For the longest time, he stares at it like it’s a turd, but eventually gives it a curt squeeze.
“Good luck,” he says and turns around.
He makes quite a dramatic picture, walking away like that, with swagger in his shoulders and the cowboy hat a little tilted to the side.