Chapter thirty-five
“Are you ready?” Aris asks me.
We’re back on the lawn, the castle raised proudly behind us. Sem constructed a portal midair, no doorway required, and the gray mass swirls before us. It’s the only thing standing between me and a new world.
Aris’ followers are already on the other side, having left yesterday to set up a suitable residence for their master. All I know is that we’re setting out into the unknown universe. Anything could meet us on the other side.
I tighten my hold on my suitcase. In it are the few earthly possessions I wanted: clothes I’ve become attached to, snack foods I may never eat again, and my old hospital bracelet—something I can’t seem to get rid of.
I glance from Aris, to the portal, to Sem standing beside it. She watches us and smiles softly. “I think so,” I tell him.
Aris takes a few steps back, and it’s then that I feel the urge to speak to Sem. I realize: he understood what I needed without me understanding it myself. The thought makes me soft.
Of course, given how Aris can read my mind, walking back is more performative than anything, an illusion of privacy, but it isn’t ineffective. Without him looming over me, I feel I can speak candidly.
I walk toward the goddess as she walks toward me, and we reach for one another in chorus.
She is so ethereal, so beautiful and pure, that, even knowing the depth of her scheming, it is impossible to feel resentment. Sem is how I imagined angels to look when I was little. All she needs is a halo.
“You are making the right choice,” she tells me, voice like spring mornings and songbirds.
“Did I ever have a choice?” I can’t help but say.
Her answering smile is sad, and she releases one of my hands to cup my cheek. I arch into her touch, a tear falling as my eyes close .
She assures me the only way she can: “I will look after your world. It will rebuild. People will be healthy and happy.”
Sem lets go of my face, and I feel her touch next on my neck, exactly where my amulet used to hang. I open my eyes to stare at my skin as she does, the two of us musing on the empty space.
“Take care, my child,” she says quietly. “And be well.”
I can promise neither, but I’m charmed that she thought to request it of me. I smile, squeeze her hand once, and let go. When I take a step back, my back hits something solid—Aris.
To confirm my thoughts, his hands come to my upper arms in a secure, familiar hold.
“Good-bye, sister,” he says. He pauses, then adds, in a more threatening tone, “Do not ever interfere with me or mine ever again.”
“Yes, brother.”
Though she is straight-faced, there is a smile to her voice. If it were anyone else and it was any other time, he would set them ablaze for such attitude, but we are both weary and ready for this to be over.
Aris just sighs, then asks,“What will you do with him?”
Sem digs the necklace out of her pocket, my attention zeroing in on the black stone in the middle. It gives off unnatural energy, reeking of malaise and rage. I try not to shiver.
“Rest assured,” she says. “He will not bother you again.”
Aris’ hold tightens, a physical manifestation of his doubt. He says, “I am trusting you to do something for the common good.”
“Of course,” she replies, but Aris does not relax.
Part of me shares in Aris’ hesitation. Sem is as tricksy as he is. There is no reassurance that she won’t let Jaegen go as soon as we step through the thick sludge of the portal. She helped us capture him—a point in her favor—but it’s hard to trust someone who represents goodness to be a stone-cold jailor.
Trapping her brother for an eternity is probably not something she feels too great about. Who’s to stay she’ll stick with the punishment?
“The common good,” Aris repeats, for my benefit .
It’s a reminder of the utilitarian concept. The trolley problem. The common good does not always mean “good”; all it means is that a greater harm is avoided by a lesser. There is still harm. In trapping Jaegen, Sem has committed harm, but setting him free would do more damage.
Sem is Order. She is bound to utilitarianism.
She watches our exchange wordlessly, mouth pinched. Yes, she is bound, but the trolley problem causes debate in every ethics class.
I incline my head, holding my hand out, and Aris steps out to take it.
Who knows if we can trust Sem? Who knows if Jaegen will stay stuck in a necklace? The answer to both is, probably not. Chances are, I’ll run into Jaegen again. We’ll have some choice words for one another at that point.
But that will be later.
I take a final look around the flat, well-maintained lawn, catching on the shaped topiaries and green hedges. There is a river in the distance reflecting a waxing moon, and the air is clean and cold.
Earth is a beautiful place, with inhabitants so interesting and silly that the attention of three gods was placed upon them. This will always be my home.
“I’ll look after it,” Sem reminds me quietly, and I nod.
Aris squeezes my hand; I squeeze back.
“Come with me,” he says, “and the universe will be yours.”
I am still looking at the reflection of the moon. I remember staring out of the car window as a child, thinking that the moon was following me. If I asked him to, Aris would lasso it and bring it with us. Then again, I think he’d do it for the world-ending impact over pleasing me.
“I would accept no less,” I say, meeting his gaze.
His eyes are as black as the night itself, his skin luminescent. He is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.
“I will always hate you,” I tell him.
“Wonderful,” he replies immediately. He sounds thrilled; he is insane. “Love alone is not enough chaos. ”
My lips quirk, flatten, and I take a deep breath. I’ll admit to being afraid. My only company will be Aris and his followers. But this also feels right, as if, no matter how many paths I had before me in life, they all led to the same place.
Here.
I look briefly at Sem. I forgive you.
Her face doesn’t change, except for the way her eyes shut. It’s how children shut their eyes and angle their faces when it begins to snow.
Facing the portal again, I nod once—to myself. “Let’s see what you’ve got, universe,” I mutter.
And we step into the portal as one.
His cool, strong hold guides me through, as I think his name as a mantra while pushing past chunks of sludge and gray matter. Aris, Aris, Aris.
When we emerge on the other side of space, into a new plane of existence and an unexplored world, the first thing he says is, “Mary.”