Chapter 4 #2
None of it made sense, and she didn't want to live this way. Why couldn’t she have died when she …
the end of that thought escaped her, but she was filled with a certainty that the peace that only death could bring had been within her grasp, only something …
or someone … had snatched it away from her.
Mean.
Why would someone do that to her?
She hated that her only value to the human traffickers was the money they could get from selling her. Hated that the only value she held to whoever would buy her was a warm body that was freely at their disposal.
It wasn’t fair that nobody cared about her . About her mind, about her heart, about her soul. Did she even have a soul anymore? Surely it had withered up and died in so many years of abuse and torture.
Should have died when you had the chance.
The words sounded inside her head, but they weren't spoken in her own voice. What she sounded like for real was barely a hint of a memory after so long, but she knew that voice wasn't hers because it belonged to a man.
It wasn't Master, though. This man was big, tall, and muscled, dressed all in black. He touched her with soft caresses, but she knew those touches were a lie.
He would hurt her.
Everybody hurt her.
That was the world she had been thrust into.
It was the world she would die in.
“I want to die!” Maya screamed the words, but she was pretty sure they only echoed inside her head, bouncing around and around until they started to hurt.
Too loud.
She wanted to take the words back. Not because they weren't true, they absolutely were, she wanted to be dead more than anything, but because it hurt to know that the vibrant young girl she’d once been had never been given a chance at a real life.
All her hopes and dreams had been snatched away from her, and now she was nothing but the shell of a human being who craved death with each breath she was forced to take.
“Try to hear me, I know you're scared, I know you're confused, but everything is going to be okay. You. Are. Safe. Now,” the man with the soft caresses whispered.
Maya would have sworn he was really there. Really speaking to her.
Would have sworn he even gave her one of those gentle touches as fingertips brushed across her forehead.
And was … someone holding her hand?
People didn't hold hands in the world she lived in. They grabbed you with a viciousness that left behind bruises.
When she was a little girl, she used to fight with her brothers over who got to hold their mom’s hand when they went out. In the end, their mom came up with a system where they each got fifteen minutes and then swapped, rotating through however many hours they were out.
Before she’d been taken, there had been a boy in her class that she had a crush on. His name was Tommy, and he had dimples and the brightest blue eyes she’d ever seen. Tommy had held her hand sometimes when they were walking to class. He’d even given her her first kiss.
It was one first the monsters who took her hadn't been able to steal from her.
Although they’d taken all her other firsts.
“Rest now, babydoll,” the man whispered to her, and for some reason, her body obeyed and she drifted away.
Moving.
Voices.
Drops of something cold landed on her cheeks.
It left behind freezing little dots, but she liked it. It felt real. Reminded her of the ocean, although she had no idea why. However, she couldn’t seem to summon enough energy to put into figuring anything out.
At the back of her mind was a single thought she wasn't ready to confront yet. She’d been sold again.
Or was about to be. It didn’t really matter which, her fate was the same.
The unknown terrified her more than anything else, because she knew she was going to have to learn to adapt all over again, but if she couldn’t figure out the new rules quickly enough, she might not survive the transition.
Doesn’t matter.
Dead is better.
“I’ll have you out of the snow in just a moment,” a voice assured her. A voice she recognized, even though she didn't have a name to go with it.
Her eyes must’ve been open because she swore she could see trees. So many of them. Beside her, a large building that looked like a Gothic mansion rose out of the ground. If it didn't belong to evil people, she’d almost call this place magical.
She was moving without moving.
Carried.
Bouncing slightly with each step the man took. His shoulder made a surprisingly comfortable pillow.
Or maybe that was just because anything would be better than the thin mattress on the floor that had been her only source of comfort for as long as she’d been with Master.
“Going to get you all settled in a nice, comfortable bed,” the man continued talking as someone moved around them.
Multiple someones.
Too many for her to fight against.
But something felt different inside her. For so long, she’d learned to do exactly as she was ordered without fighting back, because fighting back never resulted in anything other than more pain and suffering.
Accept her fate. That was her mantra.
Hide in her mind where reality couldn’t touch her.
Only for once, her body didn't seem to remember the plan. It seemed to be acting out on its own. It was going to get her killed, but maybe that was its plan. Maybe it realized that following her mind, playing it safe, only caused more pain and suffering.
It was time for it to end.
Acting on an instinct she didn't really understand, Maya lashed out, jerked her body, summoning every bit of strength she had left, and shoved against the arms holding her, causing them to drop her.
She fell, hitting the floor with a bone-jarring thud.
Around her, male voices exclaimed surprise.
Maybe there were some female voices, too.
Other slaves probably. Although sometimes women betrayed their own and worked for the men who bought and sold girls like they were less than human.
Whatever the voices were saying, she couldn’t make out the words, she just scampered backward, still on her bottom, moving away from the black figures until her back slammed up against a wall.
Frantically, she searched for an exit.
There.
A door.
Had to get to that door.
It led to the snow.
Snow would lead to death.
Her naked body wouldn't last long in the extreme cold, and as far as deaths went, hypothermia seemed like a pretty good one.
Only her body didn't look naked anymore.
She was dressed in black too.
Unsure what that meant, there was no time to figure it out as the men in black moved toward her. Slower than she would have expected, but nonetheless, they were coming for her, and she wasn't going to let them get her.
Shoving to her feet, she ran for the door.
Maybe she wouldn't make it, but she had to try.
She couldn’t keep doing what she’d been doing.
Not if she wanted to be free.
All she made it was a few steps before a set of arms closed around her.
“Don’t fight, babydoll, please don’t fight,” a voice whispered so close to her ear she could feel the warmth of his breath caress her skin.
For some reason, the pleading note in the voice shocked her into freezing. Instead of issuing an order he expected her to follow without complaint, he was asking her for something. Begging her almost.
“I'm sorry,” the voice whispered, and too late she figured out what it meant.
Something sharp pricked her, and she realized it was just a trick. He’d been lulling her into a false sense of security so one of the others could drug her.
Maya knew better than to fall for something like that.
There was only one rule to survive in the world she’d been thrust into against her will.
Don’t trust anyone .