Chapter 5
Chapter
Five
They couldn’t keep doing this indefinitely.
They were going to have to come up with a different plan.
Even if that involved moving her someplace else.
Everything inside Thunder rebelled at that idea, but what choice did they have? What they were doing wasn't working so far, and it had been almost twenty-four hours since they arrived back at the mansion with the woman.
As badly as he wanted to keep her there, keep her close, he had to acknowledge that this might not be the best place for her. If she would give them a chance, if she’d just try to listen to what he was saying, he knew this could be a place where she could heal and learn to live again.
But every time she woke, it was in a panic.
The determination to get out was the only thing she seemed to be able to focus on.
It didn’t matter how many times he assured her that she was safe, that nobody was going to hurt her, that she wasn't a prisoner, she didn't hear him. It didn’t matter how strong a soothing tone he tried to force into his words, she wasn't registering a single one of them.
Her single-minded focus was on escaping.
Maybe if it wasn't winter, he’d just let her run.
The freedom of feeling like she had some control over herself and what happened to her might be what she needed.
But in her weakened condition, there was no way she could survive long out there.
And what would happen if she actually made it to a road?
A town? There was no way she could communicate with anyone in her current condition.
Since he was absolutely one hundred percent adamant about not restraining her in any manner, that only left them with one other option to keep her subdued enough that she didn't wind up hurting herself. That was sedating her.
Every time she woke up and attempted to throw herself out of the bed, he did his best to talk her down. Issued the same assurances over and over again. Promised her that no one here wanted to hurt her in any way.
She never heard him.
She was lost to her panic and her determination to save herself.
Something for which he felt immense pride. However lost she was in her own head, she wasn't so far gone that she didn't still want to live. Or possibly die. But he chose to focus on the fact that she hadn't given up, that she wanted to reclaim her own agency.
After all, he couldn’t disagree with her that death was preferable over the life she’d been living.
If he were in her position, he’d feel the same way.
When he had been in her position, kept locked in a glass cage for three long years, he had felt the same way.
Death had been a blessing he could only hope for.
But she didn't have to hope for death anymore. Now she could hope for life, all she had to do was accept that she was safe.
Only he had no idea how to make her believe it.
“Please, babydoll,” he murmured as he perched in an armchair at the side of the bed, his hand cradling the woman’s like it was something precious, like it was a lifeline, like by continuously holding onto her, he could anchor her in the present.
Anchor her in reality.
Then slowly drag her back, out of the depths of her mind, and back into the real world.
“Fight for me, babydoll,” he continued. “I know you're terrified, I know you're doing what you think is the best thing for you, but you are safe now, please try to believe that. I need you to try to listen to me when you wake up next.”
Reality was, they couldn’t give this more than a few more hours to try to get through to her. If they couldn’t, they would have to fly her to a psychiatric facility and allow professionals to try to reach her.
If he hadn't been so unsettled by the idea of letting her go, that’s probably what they would have done all along. Eagle Oswald, founder and CEO of Prey Security, would have arranged for someone from Prey to stay with her, to be there when she finally became lucid and could offer intel.
Only Thunder cared more about her mental state improving than he did about getting any intel she may have. She was a human being, one who had been used and abused for a long time now, it didn't seem right to care about her for purely selfish purposes.
“How’s she doing?”
The sudden voice startled him, and he realized he’d been so lost in thought that he’d almost forgotten that the others were all home, popping in and out of the room where they’d set up the woman.
If there had been any doubt that she would be accepted immediately by all of them, it had been quickly erased.
Rose, Cassandra, Whitney, and Indigo hadn't hesitated to start treating her as though she was one of them.
Somehow, they all sensed his connection to the woman and accepted it more readily than he did.
“She’s the same, still out,” he answered Rose’s question.
Maybe things should be awkward between Rose and the rest of them, given that she’d first been taken there as a prisoner they intended to use as bait to lure in her deranged brother.
But it wasn't. She’d met them fire for fire in those early days, behaving in a way they never could have expected, and now he and all the others respected the hell out of Rose Gardner.
Crossing the room, Rose sat on the edge of the bed beside the unconscious woman, her gaze moving from their joined hands to the woman’s face. “Don’t give up on her.”
“Don’t plan on it.”
“I mean it, Thunder. Don’t give up on her.”
“Don’t plan on it,” he repeated. If worst came to worst and they needed to send the woman to a more specialized facility with people trained to help someone like her, then he wasn't abandoning her.
Just because he didn't understand this thing drawing him to her, it didn't mean he was just going to walk away.
“Hate seeing her like this,” he admitted.
It wasn’t something he probably would have said to the guys, but this wasn't one of the guys, it was Rose, and she was different. She’d survived hell all on her own, living with her deranged brother her entire childhood, he trusted her perspective in a way he didn't with his teammates. “Makes me feel helpless.”
“I hate that feeling,” Rose agreed. “Makes me angry.”
“Same. I wish I could just break something, hurt someone, make it better for her.
Kills me that I can't.” For reasons he wasn't going to go into with Rose, helplessness was a feeling he despised from childhood and was the reason he’d joined the military in the first place.
Still, after all these years, his first instinct was to use his fists to fix his problems.
“You will kill something to make it better for her. My brother,” Rose said with dead seriousness, her green eyes filled with the same need for vengeance he felt.
That they all felt.
They all deserved justice, including the nameless woman lying in the bed.
“You're not going to like my suggestion,” she warned him, the coldness leaving her gaze replaced by empathy.
“Go ahead.”
“She needs space. You're keeping vigil because you think she needs to know she’s not alone. But I'm pretty sure alone is her safe place. When she’s alone, she knows she doesn’t have to worry about someone hurting her.
We all know you're not going to hurt her, but she doesn’t know that yet.
She’ll realize it in time, but give her that time.
Let her wake up alone, experience some freedom, come to understand in her own time that no one here is a threat to her. ”
It was good advice, but damn, the thought of leaving this woman alone when she was already so vulnerable made him feel nauseous.
“Sometimes helping someone means taking a step back and seeing things from their perspective.
From her point of view, you're not a good guy, not someone she trusts, you're someone she thinks is going to hurt her.
I know it sucks, especially with how my brother made you all believe you're monsters, but right now you are a monster to her. Let her get some space and time to clear her head and think clearly. You're not a monster, Thunder. None of you are, and she’ll see that if you give her a chance. If you keep pushing her, keep forcing her to confront things she’s not ready for, then you're trapping both of you in this cycle.”
“When did you get to be so smart?” he teased with a somewhat forced chuckle.
“I've always been smart. Make sure you remind Steel of that,” she teased back, offering him an encouraging smile.
It took more effort than it should, but Rose was right, they were stuck in a cycle, and if he didn't change something, then nothing would change. So he released his hold on the woman’s hand, and stood to stretch his back.
Then he leaned down and brushed his lips to her forehead, before resolutely turning his back and walking away, praying that Rose was right, and this was a way to break the cycle, and give the mystery woman a chance to get her bearings.
February 24 th
7:02 A.M.
Panic lit her chest on fire the second consciousness returned.
Maya bolted upright, scanning the room for the men she knew would be there.
Watching.
Waiting.
Ready to hurt her.
It didn’t matter that so far all they seemed to do was stick another needle in her the second she woke up and tried to escape, sooner or later, they would do something to hurt her.
What else would they do?
What else would she expect?
For years now, her life only went from bad to worse. She’d managed to lock herself away, deep in her mind, existing only in the sense that she obeyed known orders so she could avoid unnecessary pain.
But now things had changed.
That door she’d locked behind her, that key she’d thought she’d long since tossed away, the two were back and they’d joined together. The key was in the lock, it had turned, and the door was edging open, allowing the rest of the world back in.
Now she wanted to escape.
Wanted to fight.
She’d come close enough to death to touch it, and her new plan was to try to escape or die trying.