Chapter 15
Chapter Fifteen
Nantucket Island
Janie and Alexander had fallen in love more than a year ago. Against all odds, and against her every instinct to explore the world and have adventures, Janie had spent the entirety of that time here, on Nantucket Island, waiting for something to change.
Love was a powerful thing.
Alexander was now twenty-three years old: broad of shoulder and strong in intellect.
She loved him to pieces, of course. It was impossible not to.
He was his father’s right-hand man in all things White Oak Lodge, so much so that Janie was beginning to think Alexander would never be free from the Lodge and never make it to flight school.
Thoughts like this sobered her up. She hated the idea of living a life without purpose, just doing things because they were what you were meant to do.
She hated the idea that Alexander didn’t stand for the things that he thought he did.
For the second year in a row, she’d worked at the fish restaurant in the Old Historic District.
Throughout the winter, she’d barely made enough tips to pay her rent because so few people ate there.
So few people craved a piece of salmon when blizzards railed against the island.
The other seasonal workers had thought she was crazy to stay during the offseason, but she’d known that leaving Alexander like that would break her heart.
The winter had been cozy, she guessed, and so different from usual: hot cocoa at the Lodge, Christmas parties with the Whitmores and other island elites, horseback riding, and long walks on the wintry beach.
Benjamin had been magnanimous throughout, keeping Janie in his corner, perhaps so she didn’t say anything to Francesca.
Chloe hadn’t come back after winter was over.
Janie hadn’t heard from her since last autumn, when she’d left their fish restaurant job and taken off for who-knew-where.
Janie assumed that Chloe’s attempt to get back together with Benjamin had been fruitless.
But now, impossibly, Janie was facing another autumn and winter on Nantucket Island.
She felt itchy and out of sorts and suddenly so old.
The little apartment she’d rented near the restaurant was grim and dark and filled with run-down, mismatched furniture.
She’d begun to dream of leaving Nantucket, running off to have new adventures and new jobs and fresh sunshine.
She decided to pitch the idea to Alexander. They were in love, and he wanted to leave the Lodge anyway, didn’t he? So she said, “I’m thinking of going to Key West. Just for the winter. Come with me.”
Alexander’s face darkened. They were in her terrible apartment, and a strange smell was coming from the pipes.
Neither of them had mentioned it. He got up, paced, and hit his thigh with a fist. “Dad’s finally giving me the respect I deserve,” he said.
“I have to stay at the Lodge, at least for now. I have to find a way to maintain this connection. It’s the only way I’ll be able to pay for flight school down the line. ”
Janie searched his face for any sign that she could convince him, but found none. His family had thoroughly brainwashed him. Probably soon, he’d marry an islander, settle down, and take over as the rightful owner of the White Oak Lodge. Someday, they’d be strangers.
She kissed him and said she had to end it.
She was sorry. She watched from the window as he stumbled toward his car and drove back toward the Lodge.
She wept all night and all morning, but by noon she had packed her things and left the island.
When the ferry left the port, she felt a renewed sense of freedom, but it felt strangely hollow.
Why didn’t being “adventurous” feel as good now? Was she out of practice?
It took her days to drive to Key West. When she reached the new island so far south, she parked downtown and strolled the beautiful, pastel streets, walking up to restaurant owners and asking about waitressing jobs until she secured one.
It was as easy as ever, although she knew that wouldn’t last as she got older.
As she left the restaurant, which also sold fish and smelled similar to the one in Nantucket, she peered across the street and, lo and behold, spotted Chloe Essex, her hands on her hips, her face glowing in the sunshine.
Janie called her name, and Chloe bounded over to her, scooping her into a hug.
Janie felt like it was a wonderful sign.
But that afternoon, as Chloe helped Janie move her few belongings into Chloe’s one-level bungalow not far from the beach, Chloe explained that she wasn’t going to stay in Key West for long.
“My soul is itchy,” she said. “Too much happened, and I have to find a new identity, a new way to get through.”
Janie knew she was alluding to Benjamin Whitmore, to Nantucket. “What happened between you and Benjmain, Chloe?” she asked, her voice small.
“I was asked to do something I never would have done if I’d been older and wiser and more thoughtful,” Chloe said. “I went back to Nantucket last summer to try to mend it, but there was no way to do that. I suppose I’ll never see any of them again.”
But Janie had never seen Chloe like this: well-dressed, sophisticated, almost as though she’d come into money. What had happened to her since last autumn? She discovered that the bungalow itself was fully paid for, and Chloe told her that she could stay as long as she wanted. This mystified Janie.
“You bought property?” she asked.
Chloe shrugged. “I’m older than you.”
But it still didn’t add up.
It was suddenly October, then November. The good times in Key West were beginning, with people from all over the world swarming in for the good weather and beautiful people.
Janie worked almost every day at the restaurant, made a few friends, and created a routine for herself.
But every night, she dreamed of Nantucket and Alexander.
She hadn’t managed to shake that hollow feeling she’d first felt when she’d left him. What if she’d made a mistake?
Chloe left at the beginning of December, saying she wanted to explore new opportunities and needed to figure out a new story for herself. Janie hugged her close and told her to come back soon. She understood that Chloe needed her privacy, although she wanted to beg for answers.
“Take care of yourself, Janie,” Chloe said. “And don’t let yourself get dragged back into that family.”
Janie knew what family Chloe meant.
Christmas in Key West was bizarre: warm, sunny, and not very cozy.
It felt like any other day. She worked at the restaurant through the afternoon, went to the beach, finished reading a novel, and considered going to a friend’s party.
But she didn’t have anything to bring. Deciding at the last minute to attend, she walked herself down to the liquor store to buy a bottle of wine for the occasion, knowing how rude it was to appear empty-handed and eat everyone’s food.
But as she stood on the corner, waiting for the light to change, a familiar car stopped in front of her, and Alexander got out.
Janie nearly collapsed with surprise.
Alexander looked different from how she remembered.
He’d dropped weight, maybe twenty pounds, and there were hollows in his cheeks.
His clothes hung on him, and he was paler than any person she’d seen on the island in the past three months.
It felt like seeing a ghost. A part of Janie wondered if she was going insane. Maybe she was lonely and seeing things.
“Alexander?” she whispered. “Are you all right?”
Her love for him, which had never really left her, gushed through her chest, and she hurried to hug him and guide him back to the car. The party was forgotten because she had to make sure Alexander was all right. She had to make a Christmas feast, just for them.
Janie did what she could with the time she had.
She hurried into the liquor store to buy bottles of wine, then entered the only grocery store still open on a holiday to purchase a ham, potatoes, onions, beans, and Christmas candy.
She was shaking when she paid at the register.
What was he doing here? She kept checking out the window to make sure he was really there.
She guided Alexander to Chloe’s bungalow and carried the groceries in, insisting that he sit on the sofa and make himself comfortable.
He still hadn’t said much. She threw a blanket over him and turned on the television.
It was It’s a Wonderful Life, a story about the importance of family despite everything else, so she turned it off and put on an album instead.
She filled two glasses with wine and sat beside him. It was nearly six in the evening, and she knew Alexander was hungry because, well, look at him. She took his hand and whispered, “You’re here. Why are you here?”
Alexander turned to look at her. “I love you.” They were the first words he’d said since he’d arrived.
Janie burst into tears but soon calmed down, asked more direct questions, and got the story out of him. She soon discovered that Alexander had gotten into a terrible fight with his father.
“I couldn’t stand it anymore,” Alexander said.
“I know he’s carrying all these lies around with him.
He doesn’t want to admit the truth to any of us kids.
Finally, I got drunk at Thanksgiving, cornered him, and asked him about Chloe Essex.
He got so angry and told me to mind my own business.
But then, I asked him about Charlotte’s real dad, about whether he and my mom are even happy, about so many things.
” He hung his head. “I feel like a fool.”
Janie stroked his hair and thought of Chloe. Should she tell him that this was Chloe’s bungalow, that Chloe’s still her best friend in the world?
“He insulted me,” Alexander said. “He told me it wasn’t a surprise that you left me. That I’m nothing.”
“He was angry,” Janie said. “He doesn’t mean it.” But she couldn’t fathom why a father would say such awful things to his son.
When Alexander was too exhausted to speak, Janie got up and cooked their Christmas feast. It didn’t take long; the ham was pre-cooked, and the potatoes just needed to boil.
The beans were in a can and heated up easily.
It was the strangest Christmas feast anyone had ever had.
But as Janie spread it out on the table between them, her heart swelled with pride.
She was taking care of Alexander when nobody else would.
She’d run halfway down the globe away from him, and he’d come after her, because he couldn’t live without her.
Maybe that was the only thing on this earth that really mattered.
The year 1998 began with a bang. Janie had six shifts a day, and Key West swarmed with tourists, so much so that Alexander said it was busier than Nantucket in peak July.
By the second week of the year, Alexander had regained some of the weight and began going out with Janie, meeting some of her Key West friends.
Everyone really liked him. Janie adored seeing Alexander in a different context and had started to think that, all this time, the Whitmores had been holding him back.
Late in bed one night, she traced a finger down his shoulder and said, “Have you thought anything more about flight school?”
Alexander smiled in the darkness and said, “I have a few applications in my backpack. I’m going to start sending them out this week.”
Janie was overjoyed. She bounced on the bed and covered him with kisses. “My future pilot boyfriend!” she sang. “Isn’t he so handsome in his captain’s uniform?”
Alexander cackled and hugged her close.
But this euphoria didn’t last for long. Perhaps because Alexander was a Whitmore, it was impossible.
It was late February when the letter from Nantucket arrived.
Janie was at work and couldn’t steal it before Alexander found it (not that she would have kept something so enormous from him, of course, but maybe she could have considered what she wanted to say before he read it himself).
The letter was from Francesca, begging Alexander to come home.
Alexander showed the letter to Janie, his face pained.
“I’m happier than I’ve ever been,” he said, collapsing on the sofa and putting his head in his hands. “I love you, and I love Key West, and I love our new life. But these threats they’re making? They scare me.”
Janie read the letter and realized his parents would revoke Alexander’s entire inheritance if he didn’t return to Nantucket immediately.
Her stomach throbbed. She decided not to consider how on earth they’d found Alexander because they had unlimited resources and could do what they pleased.
She folded the letter back up and searched her mind for the most rational response.
But it was then that it occurred to her that Alexander only knew wealth.
It was where he’d come from and what he’d expected for himself and his future. Could he really turn his back on that?
And there were bigger issues at hand, issues he didn’t yet understand.
“You don’t know what it’s like to be poor,” she said finally.
Alexander stiffened and took the letter back. “I don’t need their money.”
“I know it’s easy to say that,” Janie said. “But it’s only because you’ve always had money. Turning your back on it is another thing entirely.”
Alexander glowered. “Where is this coming from?” he demanded. “What about all that stuff you said when I came? About not needing them. About building a new life together?”
Janie got to her feet. Tears filled her eyes. It always felt like her tears were a split-second away at all times, these days. She couldn’t control them.
“Alexander,” she breathed. “I’m pregnant.”
Alexander let the letter fall to the ground between them. They stared at one another, their faces reflecting shock, until Alexander finally got up from the sofa, cried out in happiness, and wrapped her in a hug. He picked her up and swirled her feet through the air.
They had to go back to Nantucket, Janie reasoned. Another Whitmore was coming. And that Whitmore deserved all the love and money in the world.