Chapter 5 Jashaun #2
“Shit,” I muttered softly. “Sorry. Listen, I’m not going to take Jussica away from you.
You’ve done a good job with her. You did what I asked by adding me to her birth certificate, so she knows without a doubt she’s mine.
I might be angry with you for keeping her from me, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t want you to be happy or to have the type of love you desire.
A happy mom is a happy child. I’m just not the man for you. ”
A knock on the door interrupted us.
“Come in.” I inhaled peace and exhaled anger.
The knob didn’t turn. “It’s locked. Where’s Mommy?”
I glared at Mara, who wiped her eyes, as I threw on the sweatpants I kept at the bottom of the bed ever since I became a father. I jumped out of bed to open the door.
“I had a bad dream.” With her eyes barely open, Jussica reached for me, and I picked her up, cradling her to my chest. If anyone had ever told me that I could fall in love with another human being this easily, I wouldn’t have believed them.
From the day she walked into my home, demanding to see her room, my heart belonged to her.
“It’s okay,” I soothed her and eased back in bed with her. She clung to my neck when Mara patted the space beside her, which only entwined our hearts even tighter. Whether her mother accepted it or not, Jussica needed me. She’d attached herself to me as if we’d always known each other.
Mara rose from the bed and looked down at us. “This makes my decision a whole lot easier.”
“What decision?”
“I’m going home. Juss can stay with you for the week.”
“What the hell are you talking about? I have a conference in San Antonio on Tuesday.”
“Daddy, don’t curse.” Jussica admonished sleepily near my ear.
“Sorry.” I rubbed her back and tried to keep the anger and panic out of my voice. “I’ll be back on Friday, and I’ll keep her for the weekend, okay?”
Mara lifted one eyebrow. “Jussica loves it here with you. You’ve already been taking her and picking her up from school most days. She has clothes over here, and her bookbag is in my car. If you want to be a single father, here you go. I’ll pick her up from you on Friday.”
Jussica’s arms clung tighter, and I wanted to curse her mother for putting us in this dilemma.
Instead, I tried to talk reason to Mara.
“I promise I can keep Jussica all next week or whenever you want me to keep her. I don’t have any help this week.
My mother isn’t in town, and it’s a work conference.
I need to be there. I can’t just drop everything. ”
“Welcome to my world.” She then moved around the bed to see Jussica’s face. “Would you like to live with your daddy for a little while?”
She nodded and pressed her head on my shoulder.
Mara bent to kiss Jussica’s forehead. “That solves that.” She moved around the bed, and her eyes threw daggers at me. “I’ll get her bookbag from the car. Maybe it’s time for you to see what it truly means to be a daddy.”
When Mara walked out of my front door, I picked Jussica up. “Hey, let’s go back to your room. I’ll stay with you until you go back to sleep.”
She was already half-asleep as I tucked her back into her Princess bed that had been delivered last week, while I had my old bed moved to my rental property in the Third Ward of Houston.
She hugged my neck once more and turned on her side, already comforted back into sleep.
I kissed her cheek and whispered in her ear, “Only good dreams. Love you.”
I closed the door quietly and rushed back to the living area as Mara walked back inside with Jussica’s bag. “You can’t just dump Juss on me like she’s some trash. Have you lost your mind?”
“No. I haven’t. For the last few weeks, you swept into our lives like a hurricane, demanding that we spend time with you and fuck whatever plans I had.
Buying her with gifts and fun. For fuck’s sake, she has a whole bedroom meant for a princess just because she asked.
She said what she wanted, and by the next week, she had it.
I won’t be the bad parent because her father has more money and doesn’t know how to say ‘no’.
So, for now she needs to stay with you, and I need to be free from responsibility for a while. ”
My nostrils flared. “Does that mean you’re not coming to get her on Friday?”
“Maybe or maybe not. Whatever woman or plans you may have had will have to wait,” she said haughtily, placing her hands on her hips. “It’s time for you to really see all of what it means to be a father and not just the fun parts.”
Sarcastic laughter tumbled from my mouth. “Ah, I get it. You still think I turned you down because I have a woman when you can’t handle the truth of what I said. Now you trying to throw salt when there’s no need.”
“Not true.” She tossed her head. “Tired of feeling like I don’t matter to my daughter because she has you now. I’ve been here for her since the day I gave birth, and she goes to you for comfort and not me?”
“You’re so full of shit. She knocked on my door, looking for you.
Jussica doesn’t trust yet I’ll be here, so yeah, she does cling to me, hoping I never leave.
” I stepped closer. “You and I both know if I gave you what you wanted, we wouldn’t be having this conversation.
You wouldn’t be running out of here like you are right now.
Go ahead and go. I got it from here. Thanks for proving why I would never give your ass a chance. ”
“Fuck you.” She pushed my chest hard, and I didn’t flinch or move, which only angered her more as she stomped out the door.
Clenching my fists, I glanced around my home.
Two of my sofa pillows were on the floor.
Jussica’s stuffed bunny and dolls were strewn on the carpet.
Without looking, I knew the sink had dishes that needed washing from dinner yesterday and from meals today, even though I always went to bed with a clean kitchen.
After checking on Jussica to make sure she was asleep, I threw on my frat hoodie, which hung on a hook near the door, and went to see Soraya. I leaned my back on the wall next to her door, unsure what to say to Soraya except that I needed to talk to her.
She opened her door wearing a thin, vibrant pink nightie that stopped above her knees.
Pretty as ever. Only her hair seemed tousled like she’d just awakened and pulled off her scarf or bonnet.
Soraya’s bright smile didn’t match the confusion in her eyes.
“Hey…I thought we were getting together in San Antonio?”
“Yeah…Can we talk?” When she hesitated, I raised my hands. “Just talk.”
The lines in her forehead deepened, and she stepped back so I could enter.
A flowery fragrance hit my nose as soon as I moved inside.
Her floor plan differed slightly from mine, whereas she had a breakfast nook, my furniture divided the living area from the dining.
The yellow sofa, large chair, and ottoman beckoned me to plop down and chill.
Like me, she kept her apartment tidy. Not that I had a problem with messy women, just felt comforted that Soraya and I had something else in common.
“I like your place,” I said more to strike up conversation than a real compliment, though I did like her home. “The colors are warm and welcoming. Make a man not want to leave.”
She half-smiled and gestured for me to sit. “Want some water or something else to drink? I made baked chicken earlier. I don’t mind warming you up a plate.”
“Beautiful, and she cooks.” I reached for her hand and pulled her down beside me. “Another time.”
“Ocean?”
“Huh?”
“It’s on your back. Line name?”
“Yeah.” I smiled. “I can flow like the waves or make your life rough.”
Soraya nodded her approval. “Kind of goes with your name and your personality.” She tucked one pedicured foot underneath her leg and tapped my knee twice. “Changed your mind already?”
“Cut to the chase, huh?” I sank back into her sofa and touched the end of her gown near her thigh.
“Yeah, I like to get to the heart of the matter. No sense in delaying the inevitable.” Her tone lacked warmth. She’d already put her guard back up, placing distance between us without actually saying it.
“Don’t sound so doomsday.”
“That’s how you’re looking right now. On the elevator, you were arrogant and cocky about us being together without asking me.” Soraya gestured at me. “You’re giving me regret and sadness. What’s up?”
“Got into it with Mara because she wanted sex and I rejected her. Told her I wasn’t interested in anything but being co-parents, and to get back at me, she left me with Jussica. Told me it was time for me to see how it feels to really be a single father.”
“For how long?” She picked at imaginary lint on her gown. Her eyes were not quite meeting mine.
“I don’t know. At least a week, maybe longer.”
Her surprised gaze met mine. “You’re supposed to go to San Antonio. She can’t just leave you with her daughter without discussing it.”
“My daughter.” I corrected gently. “A daughter that’s asleep right now, so I can’t leave her for too long.
I don’t even know why I’m here except you’re the person I want to confide in.
I almost wish I hadn’t kissed you or known what it feels like to be inside you.
Then you could be the friend I need rather than the woman I might be about to disappoint. ”
She sighed warily, “Jashaun, I’m way too old for games. Why did you give me false hope for something you really don’t want?”