Chapter 8 Soraya #2
Scared of loving him so deeply that I lost myself.
Jashaun had that effect on me, and I’d been overthinking and trying to complicate when it had been easy for us.
I respected his decision to wait to officially meet Jussica as his woman and loved that he’d been proud to introduce me to his mother, who joined us last week for lunch.
If I were honest with myself, I ran from Jashaun because love circled my heart every time I saw him.
Now that he caught me, love filled my heart, and I was scared out of my mind that one day he wouldn’t need me anymore.
When he discovered who he was again.
“Soraya?” He yelled again. “Everything okay?”
“Yeah.” I started my engine and raced over the hill, deciding not to be me for once, and to let whatever happened… happen.
Easier said than done.
May would make way for June soon, and though Jashaun and I grew closer, finding time to go out became harder, usually ending up with lunch or working from home together, since his mother had an assignment in Atlanta for the last two weeks.
“I don’t know, Drea. I’m trying to be patient, but this is getting hard.
” I lounged by the pool with a glass of wine to relax one evening after work.
The humid air lifted enough for me to enjoy sitting outside without the heat and mosquitoes.
“He’s still keeping his daughter from me.
It’s weird that every time I see her, she hugs me, wants to spend more time with me, and he gently blocks it.
I could understand if she didn’t seem to like me, but Juss does. ”
“Or maybe he’s worried she won’t, once she knows you and her daddy are together. Even young girls don’t want any woman that’s not their mother with their father. I’m grown and still don’t like the women my father dates.”
I chuckled. “That’s because your daddy still thinks he’s twenty, like the age of the women he dates.”
“Exactly. Be glad that Jashaun is into you, an age-appropriate woman. Why do I have to keep talking him up to you when you’re the one who loves him?”
Shifting on my side, cradling the phone to my ear, butterflies and sunshine filled me at the thought of being with him forever. “I do. I do. Never felt like this about any man. I see his struggles, and he’s the type of father I want for my children. Like mine was and is to me.”
“Have you talked about more children?”
I sighed, “Not really. He knows I want it all, but he still seems overwhelmed with Jussica to introduce more children.”
“Then that should be your only dealbreaker since it seems as if he’s into monogamy. If he doesn’t want any more children, then you end it. Now, on that, you have to snatch the band-aid off since you and he seem to have a future.”
“Yeah…you’re right. We do seem to move like this old couple, already anticipating each other’s needs. Love that I can talk about my day with him, and he completely gets it without having the drama of an office affair.”
“Miss Raya?” Jussica’s loud, lyrical voice called me. “My daddy and I are going to get some pizza. You want to come?”
I looked through the gate at a smiling Jussica holding the hand of an expressionless Jashaun. Obviously, a child's impulsivity spurred this invitation.
“She sounds adorable. Can’t wait to meet her.”
“Me too,” I said wryly. “I’ll call you back.”
“I’ll be waiting.” She sang.
“Miss Raya is on the phone and relaxing. I’m sure she doesn’t want pizza.” He looked at me pointedly.
I sighed internally. “Your dad’s right. Had a hard day at work and will get in the pool soon.”
Jussica’s face brightened. “Do you like to swim? Because daddy can get the pizza and bring it back to us while I watch. He’s only picking it up because he doesn’t want his pizza cold. Can I stay here with you?”
“Yes, I do like to swim, and it’s okay with me.” Jeez. Jashaun couldn’t deny her if he wanted to, between her looks and determination to get whatever she wanted.
Jashaun’s jaw tightened. He might be upset, but this was a good sign of healing. He’d told me of her refusal to get in the pool, though she loved water, because she associated it with her mother. And I refuse to lie when it really was alright with me if she hung out at the pool.
She pushed her father slightly toward the garage. “Go get the pizza and I’ll stay here.”
I hid my smile at the anger that flashed across his face before he said through clenched teeth. “You don’t have a bathing suit, and I’m not going back upstairs.”
“I just want to put my feet in the water.”
He jiggled his keys.
“We’ll be fine,” I reassured him. “I like black olives on my pizza.”
Jashaun’s nostrils flared. I’d rarely seen him angry, and if that man didn’t appeal to me even more. Might have to deliberately push his buttons more, then let him take it out on my body.
His shoulders relaxed, and he pulled out his cell. “I’ll have it delivered and sit out here with y’all. You can place your feet in the water with Miss Raya.”
“Do you want to swim?” I asked Jussica, ignoring the twinge of hurt that he didn’t want to leave her alone with me for a second. “I can wait for you to get your bathing suit.”
Her braids swung with her head. “Only my feet.”
“Feet it is.” I rose from my chair and walked to the gate, feeling smug that Jashaun’s eyes hungrily roamed my low-cut one-piece suit.
I opened it and took her hand. “Let’s sit over here away from your daddy so we can splash the water as much as we want to.
It’s how I get out all my emotions when I’ve had a bad day.
” As we walked to the other side, I looked over my shoulder at him.
His gaze still lingered on my behind. “Ooh, and see if they have a Cherry Coke Zero. Um…eyes up here.”
Jashaun bit his lip and dragged his gaze to my face, heating every inch of me. “Do you want anything else?”
How he said it, I knew he meant more than pizza, and he would definitely be making a visit to my place once Jussica fell asleep.
“No, I’m good.” I giggled at the way his face comically fell.
Jussica dropped my hand and headed to the fountain. “I want to sit here.”
“Perfect.” I replied, then addressed Jashaun, who now matched my stride, “You can go up and get some work done until the pizza gets here.”
“Juss hadn’t even asked about the pool since Mara left. I don’t want to miss this.” His hand slid down my lower back to grip my ass. “And can’t wait to hit this later.”
I removed his hand and hissed, “Anyone can see us.”
He chuckled and settled on a lounger near the fountain and tucked his arms behind his head. Jashaun seemed relaxed. Maybe I had misjudged him when I thought he didn’t want to leave me alone with his daughter. It really should be about bonding as three anyway.
“Come on, Miss Raya.” Jussica's feet were in the fountain area, and she laughed as she made water spray everywhere.
A child’s joy had to be the happiest sound I’d ever heard.
“I can’t wait until I have another one.” He quietly said, a soft smile warming his face and his eyes glinting in the fading sun.
Question asked and answered.