29. Raya
RAYA
B odhi’s tongue dipped into my mouth as he kissed me, interrupting my weapons check for the night. I gripped the back of his head, melting into his touch, knowing it would be the last for a week.
Only a week.
But it felt like it would be much longer than that; perhaps it would be once he realised I was gone. I was lying, again, but this was not by choice. I trusted my mum, and I knew it was for the best, but I hated lying to him.
It was why, in the past few days since Zander had given his address, I’d been clingier than normal, relishing every kiss, every hug. I’d spent all my spare time with him outside of training, which was so little these days.
He smiled as he licked over my mouth, and I swiped it away with mock disgust.
Bitterness swept in quickly after that, forcing my gaze to the floor before his hand crept under my chin.
“One more week, and we are done for the year. Then it will be just us, free again for another year.”
He pulled me in against his chest, and I wrapped my arms around him, breathing in that comforting scent of his. This was a goodbye for now.
I desperately wanted to tell him everything, but instead, I bit my tongue, just as my mum had asked. Because Bodhi didn’t approve, we needed more time than a single week to figure out how we would take him with us when he was so opposed to it.
Either way, our relationship would fracture in some way after this, and I hated it.
“I can’t wait,” I replied shakily, smiling up at him, which he returned.
He placed one last kiss against my lips before we turned to join the others as we marched up the stairs towards the arid expanse. My nerves were high, but I had to trust that we would make it.
We must make it.
We piled out near the compound, the air hot and dense tonight as Bodhi turned to face us, all softness in his expression gone.
“We give our all. Because of this, we never truly fail. Stay safe. Stay on guard.” His address was brief but needed, the energy different amidst our group tonight. Tired.
“Move out and take your positions.” We each turned and pivoted to walk towards our designated locations on the field before I heard him call my voice.
“Raya.” I turned to look back at Bodhi standing there in his tactical suit. I took him in again: the shaved pink hair, his tanned skin, bright amber eyes. He was so achingly handsome, and I would miss him even if it was just for a week.
“We are doing a swap. You’re with me tonight.” My gut plummeted.
Shit. How could this be happening tonight of all nights?
Tonight, we were trying a newer tactic, spreading out individually across the wasteland, though Bodhi, who was now going to be my partner, would still linger near. This night already felt like it was going to shit.
He smiled warmly and walked alongside me until we drew nearer to where we were situated. It felt like a thousand bugs were crawling beneath my skin with how anxious I felt in this moment. This was bad. So very bad.
I lay down in my position, tugging roughly on the neckline of my tactical suit that was beginning to choke me. No matter how much I pulled at it, the feeling of suffocation never left.
I needed to focus. Why was it so goddamn hard?
“Raya, you good?” Bodhi whispered, and I looked towards him with wide eyes and nodded.
Between the four daggers strapped to my body, the two cuffs on my wrist, and my gift, I would have to be enough.
I noted the positions of the others on the field, whistles sounding from various points to confirm everyone was in position, ready to go.
I waited, anticipation rising.
Nothing.
A single drop of sweat steered its way down my forehead into my brow and dropped just below my eye. I used my forearm to wipe the sweat off my face before focusing back on the doorway. We had anticipated the infiltrators would barrel through our barrier with ferocious speed, as they supposedly always had.
The crawling beneath my skin intensified.
I swiped at my eyes and enhanced my focus as I blinked a few times at what looked like red lights flashing on the field.
What the?
I blinked again and stared at the nine blinking red lights in different locations around the field, another rolling and locking into place twenty feet away from me. My head tilted reactively, confused about the device before me.
Confusion gave way to horror, the beeping sound of the devices increasing in speed as I screamed out across the field to alert the others. “Fall back!”
I pushed up to stand, pivoting and sprinting with all my might as far as possible, away from the offending object. The thread of my power continued to slip from my grip, my terror for Bohdi consuming me. Was he following me?
Ten, single-clicking noises sounded off in warning before vibrations drove through the ground and chaos descended.
Plumes of sand erupted up to the sky, settling into a grim red sea of harsh grains that rained down on us, seizing all oxygen from the air. The force of the explosion nearest to me threw me forward to face plant harshly in the sand, and my muscles pinched painfully in my neck from the impact.
Winded but not severely injured, I got to my hands and knees, quickly taking in deep gulps of air, only to choke on the sandy grit as it clawed and scratched its way down my throat to settle uncomfortably in my lungs.
Holding my breath and unable to open my eyes, I hid my face in the crook of my elbow and ran back aimlessly in the direction I thought held the city until I cleared the falling sand. Choking and spluttering, I spat and coughed, desperately trying to inhale clean air and wipe my eyes.
Gusts of air brushed over me, clearing some of the lingering sand as I whirled around, dagger in hand, to see Bohdi land on the ground, stalking towards me in his shifted form. He looked both terrifying and dangerous as his sharp gaze raked down my body, assessing for signs of injury.
I gave Bohdi a weak thumbs up and a small grin, even though I knew I likely looked like shit, that my body was probably orange, the sand staining my skin and clinging to my hair. Bohdi stood wordlessly beside me, assessing the landscape to our right.
I quickly checked my connection to my power and sighed in relief when it hummed under my skin. I frowned at my poor form on the field, frustrated with myself for allowing my emotions to take the driver’s seat. That was something only my younger self had an issue with.
This night was only getting worse.
A painful screech pierced my ears, and I turned in time to see Bohdi get hit forcefully from his left with an audible crack before he could even face his attacker. I caught a glimpse of the wing of the air shifter, who had already moved behind the smog of sand that clouded visibility on the field.
I shifted my attention back to Bohdi’s now-slumped form on the ground. Small flecks of blood stained the sand near his head, a sluggish pulse oozing from the gash across his temple. Fear spiked in my chest, but this time, I kept hold of the wheel.
I surged forward and slid on my knees through the sand to his side as I quickly searched for any major damage. I briskly cleaned his face and checked his mouth for sand as he began to splutter and cough, lifting slightly and turning to the side, spitting out sand onto the floor beside him.
“Bodhi, are you okay?” I asked, my tone pitched higher in my panic. Everything was going to shit, and I still needed to get my mum across the field.
“All good, Ray. Go. Go find the others,” he commanded, and I held him a moment longer, regret already heavy in my gut, because I knew I had to leave to get my mum. I wanted to cry right now, but I didn’t. I couldn’t.
I portaled home, scaring her as she immediately stood from her seat on the couch.
“Raya, what…” she began as she took in my state.
“We don’t have time. We need to go.” I held out my hand, my other reaching out to hoist our pack onto my back.
When I returned with her, the sand had begun to settle, and the sounds of teeth and claws clashing filled the air like a terrible song. In the near distance, I spied Hayden dragging a limp Apple back towards the compound at a considerable pace, and I took a step towards them before my mum gripped my arm and pulled me towards the shield.
“Raya, you brought me here. We cannot waste time. Save your gift for now. We may need it later. We run until we cannot anymore.”
Nobody was following them, which somewhat eased me, but inside, I felt an utter loss of control. Yelps of pain filled the air, and I recognised the sounds as members of my own team, grief stirring inside me but hope for a better future for us pushing me onward.
We ran hand in hand, in case I needed to portal us, but for the most part, everyone was occupied.
My mother’s tight grip kept me focused and bold, enough to keep moving and keep pushing, despite the pain searing my lungs from leaving Bodhi behind.
This had to be a success.
Three bodies moved into focus ahead, shuffling fast towards the gateway where the desert appeared to stretch on forever. I knew better than to believe the lies of the shield’s magic. The fastest and biggest one of the three carried a limp body. They disappeared through the shield, but I knew I couldn’t allow them to take the Omega.
So, I portaled us closer to our goal and, without hesitation, went to step through the shield, but my mother’s hand was yanked from my grip, and the only person who stumbled through the shield was me—straight into the waiting arms of a tanned, muscled Dominant, who smelled of everything familiar and ruinous.
“Welcome to Asrar, Raya.”
The hairs on the back of my neck rose, and I willed the daggers to slide into my grip. But they didn’t respond. Damn it.
Slowly, my eyes rose up the broad chest and shoulders, catching on the dirty blonde wavy hair, up past his full lips and straight into the searing emerald green eyes of Jakari.
“ You’re alive,” I breathed, and he laughed, a single eyebrow-raising.
He pulled me forward, and I stumbled, his grip so tight, I knew it would bruise my skin. My mum was pulled through the shield a second later, with a hand over her mouth and wide eyes as she kicked and bucked in Silver’s grip.
“Stop,” I yelled. Jakari laughed and yanked me into his chest, his arm wrapped around my throat too tightly, suffocating me.
My mum kicked and screamed beneath Silver’s fingers whilst I clawed desperately at Jakari’s arm that was slowly stealing my breath.
“Please,” I begged. I could feel the blood rush to my head, my nails digging into his skin drawing blood. Air became scarce.
I watched on in horror as my mum’s kicking and screaming slowly faded until she was entirely limp in Silver’s arms, her skin ghostly white.
It was that which had horror flushing through me, that which pushed me forward as she hung there, her eyes open, her life gone.
Grief surged, and I screamed at Silver as I bit down on Jakari’s arm until the metallic tang of blood filled my mouth and he ripped his arm from around my neck, losing contact with me and giving me enough time to portal.
I ripped my daggers out of my suit, my cuffs still unresponsive to me, and I whirled on Silver with a snarl that rivalled an Alpha’s.
I could see annoyance light up Silver’s face as I faced him, treating me as if I was a simple hindrance. Good. I had his attention at least, and I would kill him for what he’d done.
He sized me up, a hint of curiosity dancing across his face, as if he looked forward to what was to come.
I went to portal behind his back to catch him by surprise and end his life quickly, but he was far quicker than I anticipated as he launched forward to grab my hand, taking us both crashing to the ground on top of each other, materialising near Raid, who had picked my mum up off the ground.
I didn’t want them touching her. Could an omega not even find peace in death?
Inside, grief consumed me, and it was pain, not hope, that now pushed me onward.
Silver launched at me, and I parried him off with my two other daggers as he managed to slice his blade thinly through my upper arm. I glanced down at the wound then back up at him, my teeth bared in annoyance. He ran his tongue along his teeth, smug satisfaction wafting off him as he stared at the first glimpse of weakness in me. My grip on my blades tightened.
Then, he attacked relentlessly.
I felt lethargy begin to set in with every block, my moves becoming sluggish as he managed to land a few other stinging blows to my body.
Cheek, forearm, thigh, shoulder.
The sting of each was agonisingly painful for how tiny the cuts were.
“Do you give up, little one?” he mocked as we continued to dance in a series of blows.
He was a graceful, effortless fighter, I’d give him that.
I was starting to pant, heavily exerting myself to keep up with the pace of his brutality. His skill and level of training clearly surpassed my own, and I struggled to keep up with what he delivered.
My muscles began to roar at me in fatigue, begging me to stop, the effects of using too much power draining me.
I resigned myself to the fact that this was a battle I was not going to win, a decision I despised. I looked longingly behind him. I wasn’t going to make it.
In a parting manoeuvre, I launched one of my daggers towards him as I swung with the other hand, travelling mid-movement back near the gateway to re-assess and lock eyes on my mum’s body. By the time I’d landed, he caught my weapon effortlessly, Raid stepping up beside him as I watched Silver touch my mother on the arm. She stirred.
My body turned rigid.
She was alive?
“We will give you one more week, Raya. Then, you will hand yourself over willingly if you ever want to see your mother again,” Jakari called as he stood with his arms crossed behind his back, all of them lacking the same urgency and desperation our defence fought with.
I focused on willing my cuffs to shape into the daggers I needed, but nothing happened. I growled angrily, and Jakari laughed cruelly.
I ripped my last dagger from my suit, the ground rumbling beneath my feet, a reminder my time was running out, just as two arms wrapped around me and dragged me quickly back through the gateway.
Jakari snarled as Silver launched my blade back towards me. I screamed for my Mum as I was pulled back through to the Haven, the shield’s magic closing over.
Tears fell from my eyes as every ounce of hope left my body, watching the doorway disappear, the grunt of pain behind me the only sign that Silver’s dagger had hit a target.
We fell backwards, my head hitting the shifter’s chest as I rolled off them, sprinting back towards the doorway, my fingers gripping the closing hole to fight against the inevitable. I yanked my hand back, the magic of our barrier burning my skin as I screamed out in agony.
“Raya, stop.” A hoarse voice called my name, coughing following as I turned towards it, tears streaming down my face.
Bodhi lay on the ground, blood all over his hands, more of it leaking from his mouth.
I cried out and ran for him as he pulled the blade from his chest, more blood spilling from the wound. I hadn’t noticed it was him. I hadn’t paid attention in my anger.
He coughed again, and I went to put my hands on his chest to stop the bleeding, but he batted my hand away, his own shaky fingers moving up to cover the wound.
I looked at his face, so tight with pain—not the kind that came from physical pain, but something far deeper as he stared at me. Something more akin to betrayal.
“I’m sorry, Bodhi. Please let me help you.”
But he shook his head, turning away from me. He jutted his chin out and looked up at the sky above us, a frown marring his beautiful face.
I moved forward, trying again, but his words came out stronger this time, harsher.
“Don’t.”
I pulled away, my fingers grasping for nothing as I gulped air into my lungs, tears now falling steadily down my cheeks.
I sat back on my heels, helpless and broken, resenting myself for everything that had gone wrong.
It was all my fault. I wasn’t enough.
“I’ll be fine, just as I always am.” His words were hoarse and wet, the blood from his mouth slowing down as his Alpha healing began to kick in.
I got up and shuffled away a few steps, giving him the space he wanted. My heart hurt so badly, I thought it might burst. He lay there alone, too far from me as I crouched down on the ground like I did as a child, tucking myself into a ball. I didn’t know what else to do other than be near him and watch over him. The ground was freezing.
“Bodhi,” I whispered. Please. I’ve done everything wrong.
He didn’t acknowledge me again. It hurt more than any physical wound I’d ever endured in my life, because I couldn’t turn back time, no matter how much I wanted it.
I’d failed her. She was gone.
Tears fell from my eyes steadily, wetting my suit.
I betrayed him. Even when a few feet separated us now, I knew I’d cleaved a distance between us that was so great, I wasn’t sure it could be repaired.
And what did that mean for me? The realisation hit me as unforgivingly as a bolt of lightning. Everything I’d ever been terrified of was going to come true. I would have nothing and no one, and it was all my fault.
Maybe everyone in this city was right.
I was defective.