33. Riley
RILEY
I tapped my finger repeatedly on the elevator, eager to get to Raya to give her some sort of solace, despite how turbulent I was inside.
Zander hadn’t stayed true to his word by day’s end, having been called away in the night to attend a Benefactor’s house, and not for the first time, I was eager to sweep him out the door.
Sly had been quiet tonight, though he’d obliged my request, his hand gripping mine as we descended the building invisibly.
I didn’t know if I truly believed it yet that she was gone. I hardly saw her anymore, so a part of me felt like it wasn’t real. But I knew the minute I stepped into my childhood home and I couldn’t find her, it would hit me.
We stepped into the waiting elevator together, the silence between us awkward and uncomfortable.
It was Sly who broke it first. “You’ll be glad to know I’ve found two Omegas for the deal.”
I wasn’t. It made me sick, but the alternative made me moreso.
“They are sick. Their deaths are imminent.” The words were intended to reassure me, and to some sick extent, it did. They wouldn’t have to endure for long.
“You still want to proceed, don’t you?” he asked, his voice emotionless.
“There is no other choice.” It was times like this I was grateful that Zander’s guards were his only surveillance.
“There is always a choice,” Sly retorted, pushing me again. I didn’t feel like I had enough energy left to keep up with everyone anymore.
“There is no other choice that does not end in thousands dead,” I reiterated.
The ding of the elevator thankfully silenced our conversation before the doors slid open, and we tip-toed our way outside and around to the gap in the hedge.
I shifted towards it, and he paused, our hands held outstretched in the air as he released his magic, allowing us to be visible to the world, though this corner of the garden always remained just ours.
“You won’t choose me, will you? You won’t even try.” His haunting eyes bore into mine, his shoulders pushed outward, as if preparing himself for what he knew was to come.
“I don’t believe I truly get a choice in this life,” I whispered.
He lifted his chin, and his face turned steely. Then, his hand released mine.
I itched to grab it back, but I withheld no matter how much I felt like I was crumbling. It was for the best. It would keep him safe.
“I will stay and keep watch. I will see you when you return.”
My fingers touched a single rose, its petals falling to the floor as I nodded weakly, acknowledging his words for what they were: a dismissal.
On the other side, I looked back only once, his back turned to me. I watched for a moment more as his shoulders rose and fell, more tired than before.
N ot a single light was on inside the house by the time I twisted the handle to step through my old front door.
It shut behind me with a soft click, and the gravity of her absence hit me immediately, rushing up into my throat, stealing the breath from my lungs. I scented the air. It even smelled different, sour, vacant .
Soft sniffles caught my attention, and I tip toed towards the lounge, noticing a figure curled up into a ball on it. Her head was between her thighs, but her beautiful hair cascaded down her back in a tangled mess.
“Raya?”
Her head lifted, and she sniffed.
My feet took me briskly towards her, needing to comfort her, perhaps even to comfort myself. I sat down and pulled her into my arms.
“She’s gone, Riley,” she wept, and that force on my throat constricted.
“I know, Raya. I know.” I rested my chin on her head, my chest now wet from her tears.
“Where’s Bodhi?” I asked, and she began to gasp for air, her body shaking.
I pulled back with wide eyes, my hands tight around her body. “Raya, breathe. It’s okay. We will get through this.”
More lies just dribbled from my lips. Truth be told, I didn’t know if we ever would recover. Inside, I felt a grief so vast, I didn’t know where it ended or began, but I needed to be brave for her.
“It’s my fault. It’s all my fault,” she repeated. Still, I didn’t understand what she meant, and I didn’t know where Bodhi was. He would be here. He had always been here for Raya. I frowned.
“We tried to leave…We had a plan to find somewhere safe and get away for a week.”
Any thought I’d had died, and my skin turned cold.
“What?” I breathed, but she didn’t give me a chance to understand.
“They took her just as we passed the shield. We were going to come back for you.”
Her words were bordering on senseless. How could she think this was okay? How could she have done this?
“Why would you do this, Raya? Why did you breach our shield?” My voice rose with my emotion. I was frantic and could scarcely fathom it.
My pulse pounded in my ears. I was going to be sick.
“I told you. They are going to use her! I tried to get us away. We need to be free.”
My face turned stony, a pit opening in my stomach in response.
“Freedom, Raya? Where? With the Dominants? Who raped, pillaged, stole, and demanded the subservience of Omegas? Where would you go in a world you know nothing about?”
My voice was gritty and harsh, and I watched as Raya reared back as the force of my words slammed into her.
She turned and flicked a small lamp on before turning back towards me, her chin trembling. My heart hung heavy in my chest when I noticed the darkness underlining her eyes.
“They will bring her back in a week. They said they will give her back if I go with them.”
My fingers squeezed around her, my gut plummeting. I needed to get control. “No.”
I had fought so hard to keep my family safe, and that wasn’t a negotiation I was willing to accept. I didn’t make all these sacrifices for it to end like this. Raya was foolish, selfish even, but she was my sister, and I would die for her if I must.
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath in. Be rational, Riley. Think.
“Who exactly took her, Raya?” There was a small kindling of hope inside me. I had to be smart. I had a deal, after all, one I could perhaps wield to my advantage to save them all.
“Raid, Silver, and him. ” She spat the words out at me as hope flared more brilliantly with this information.
“Who’s him?” I asked.
“Jakari,” she whispered, and my eye twitched—the Dominant who had broken her heart and stolen my family’s treasures. I hadn’t seen him when I had made the deal with the others.
I clutched her cold hands in reassurance, pulling them into my lap.
“I will fix this, Raya, and we will have her back. But you have to pretend, okay? You have to pretend to bend to them. Do not go through the shield, but pretend that you are willing and coax them to bring her out. Can you do that?”
She nodded, blinking away her last few tears as I leaned forward and wiped a stray tear from her cheek.
“You need to trust that I will do everything to protect us, do everything within my power to keep this family safe. Please just trust I can do that here.”
She watched me carefully, somewhat uncertain.
“I cannot help you beyond our shield Raya. But here, I can. Please trust that I can.”
She drew her hands to her lap, her fingers fumbling against each other.
“What will you do?” she asked curiously, her voice soft and quiet.
I exhaled, knowing I couldn’t tell her about my deal, knowing I would have to shield her from it somehow.
“In a few days’ time, when the shield thins, I will meet you at the compound.”
Her eyes widened. “What, no! Riley, you are an Omega. It’s too dangerous.”
I scowled. I hated that she had absorbed the distinction, as if a Gifted or Alpha’s life was worth sacrificing but those of us who occupied the Inner Ring were not.
“I will bring someone I trust to help me get it done.”
I could see she didn’t believe me, that she knew how dangerous it was for me, but she didn’t know much about Sly at all, let alone his gifts. I couldn’t tell her, not without risking her or him.
“Draw them out, Raya, and I will find you myself. Together, we will get her back.”
She nodded her head absently, her fumbling fingers squeezing mine. I didn’t feel confident, not at all, but someone had to step forward and lead now.
Nausea sloshed in my gut, and I decided to shift the subject to shove it away. I would get my mother back, and I had to make Raya believe that. Her gift was nothing without confidence. The last thinning would be the last shot we had, and I very much intended to seize it.
“Where is Bodhi, Raya?”
Her tears clumped her lashes together, her face puffy and red.
“He hates me.”
“He would never hate you.” I reached across to wipe the tears from her cheeks with my thumb.
A disbelieving laugh spluttered from her, ending with a hiccup.
“I thought we had a future together. He chose me and I him, and it was the best thing that had happened to me…” She trailed off, wistful.
I tipped my head back to rest on the lounge with a smile lifting my lips. I’d always known they would end up together. Always. Since he’d been found in the desert and he came to live with us, they just gravitated towards each other. To me, it was simply a matter of time.
I was happy for her because I believed they would work it out eventually, and I was desperate to protect that small sense of joy they would experience when they sorted it out. I wanted Raya to have everything I couldn’t, because money or power couldn’t buy love like that.
“He is hurting, Raya, just as we all are. But I will fix it, and then everything will be okay.” The words came out quickly, and I was shocked by how easily lies could spill from my lips these days. I would fix it, but I didn’t know if everything would be okay, not with how much was stacked against us. But for them, I would fight.
She smiled weakly and leaned back against the lounge, mirroring my own position with her hand still clasped in mine.
“You’ve always fixed everything for me, Riley,” she whispered. “I wish I could give half as much as what you give.”
I squished her fingers tight in an effort to cut off her thinking. She didn’t know how much she gave to this family.
“That’s what family does, Raya. No matter what happens, we will always have each other’s backs. It’s for that same reason I know we will survive.”