18. Trials of Love
EIGHTEEN
trials of love
Keira
“Today, you become a true dragon rider! Some of you have more riding experience than others. Some have prepared for years and others only had the one class at the start of the semester. Above all else, I want you all to be aware of your dragon, but also of yourselves!” Correll tells us with a heavy line pressing into her brow. Her anxious frown pauses in front of me to tighten my mask even more. The leather strap pulls at the back of my hair, and the metal bites into my cheeks, but she doesn’t seem to notice as she moves quickly on to the next student to fuss over their attire.
The heat of the entire student body is gathered all around, surrounding me with hundreds of glinting death masks just like my own. Lila stands in her white academy button-down, and not a stitch of combat gear covering her small frame. With folded arms hard across her chest, she watches us with an empty stare. She hasn’t moved from the rock wall at the back of the great hall since we entered this morning, and she won’t meet my eyes, despite how hard I try to catch her gaze.
“Today’s first trial is what we call a test run, Riders!” Professor Dollins’ voice booms over us. “Each team is tasked a simple challenge: bring back the rarest dragon! Water scales, nightcrawlers, thorn horns, you name it, we want to see it! So bring in your creepiest creature and be crowned today’s winner!” The professor’s white smile is wide with excitement, but I don’t know how to tell him I don’t want to be anywhere near whatever the hell a nightcrawler is.
Instead of mentioning it, I just smile and nod.
Reign’s crinkled gaze is glued to Arcane. There’s a disgusting smug smile he holds as he studies the two of us together. Like he himself bonded us together and he couldn’t be more proud of the work he’s put in with his very favorite student and his new official Fated mate.
I stand at Arcane’s side, and there’s a fondness in his features when he looks down at me that I don’t think I’ve ever seen in him before. There’s also a heavy sadness there too and it’s so infectious that I feel it cracking through my own chest every time I look at him. With a stretch of a restless hand, he runs his index finger from my elbow to my wrist, trailing an intricate line that I can’t quite see. The light of my mating mark has faded and left a white, ashen tattoo across my arms. It looks faintly like a scar. I can’t explain it, but I love every inch of it that flaws my flesh. Arcane was so strange last night, but maybe I do belong here. Maybe whoever I was before isn’t as important as who I’ll become . . . At that thought, a nagging, twisting sensation curls deep in my stomach. It feels a little tiny bit like what I’ve heard Aelix refer to as anxiety . Terrible emotion. I don’t see the appeal, but perhaps it’ll come in handy in the future. Or it’ll kill me with a heart attack. Who knows?
Students step aside, and Aelix strides forward through the crowd. The others begin tightening their belts and fastening their weapons, gearing up for the season’s first official flight. Suddenly, I can’t think of the trial at hand at all. My heart sinks at the sight of him. I step forward, and there’s a strange pull of energy as I stand between the two brothers.
“I packed you a healing salve. They don’t assign it to new students, but they really should,” Aelix says with a soft smile that doesn’t touch his pretty gaze that’s so intently focused on me.
Darkness shadows his eyes, and I know he was up all night tending to the last man on Earth he ever wanted to save.
And yet, he will. I know he will because he has a sort of goodness in him that this academy doesn’t recognize. They squash it out of their students before it has time to spread. Like a disease, kindness is something to fear, something to keep at a distance.
From the start, Aelix has been distanced from the others. Oddly, I think he prefers it that way.
“Thank you.” I take the small black canister from his hands, and the two of us linger without another word to assist us in the awkwardness of our silence.
“Be safe, Keira,” he whispers, drowning me with the heavy burden of his well wishes.
I nod, wishing I knew how to pretend as well as everyone else. The mask hides my features, but I try for a light-hearted smile anyway. The unseen gesture feels tense, fragile, and Fates, why on Earth are my hands so incredibly sweaty right now???
Is this puberty? Am I going through late puberty or something?
I’m still standing in front of him with that unsteady smile plastered to my lips, but there’s nothing left to say. The gentle smile he offers as he walks away tells me he feels nothing where the hurt of what we never were spreads far and wide within my chest. He knew from the very start. He told me so himself. I think it hurts me more than it hurts him because he never believed the lie Fate told us.
And a part of me did.
“Alright, Riders, saddle up!”
On the heel of my boot, I turn quickly and plant myself face-first into a smooth, hard chest. The metal mask smooshes painfully into my nose, fogging up the thin lenses of the eyes and spotting my vision instantly. My palms hover against his warmth, my fingertips flexing unconsciously against the alluring muscle tone beneath them.
“Hey,” Arcane whispers, his head tilted low so his lips are just inches above mine, and I’m suddenly wishing this heavy mask wasn’t separating us. Silver eyes search mine with a spark of primal hunger shining in their depths.
“Hey,” I mouth back to him, but the word doesn’t have the strength to fully crawl out.
“Ready?” he asks with a smile that turns my insides to reckless melted lava.
“Y-yeah. Um—how exactly do I saddle up . . . on . . . you?” The words sound just as terrible spoken out loud as they did in my head, and I instantly regret not working harder on that phrasing before blurting it out.
His lips part with a wide smirk as he breathes out a sexy laugh.
“It’s actually just a saying, Haunting.”
“Oh, good.” I, too, breathe out a bit of relieved amusement.
“There’s no saddle,” he adds.
“Wait. What?”
He turns and offers me the broad span of his back. He wears nothing more than low-hanging black pants and dusty black boots. Meanwhile, there’s heavy chain mail across my chest that’s layered over my black long-sleeved shirt. The dagger strapped to my leg and the sword hanging from my hips might as well be a sort of jewelry that’s only here to accessorize my fabulous mask because I in no way know what the hell to do with either weapon.
“Climb on, Haunting,” he says from over his shoulder, and he holds his hands palms up, fingers curled in anticipation of . . .
“You want me to jump onto your back?”
“Correct,” he answers flatly, and I notice the way he’s watching each and every student that runs off to the edge of the cliff. The tension in his brow only worsens with each shifter that flings themself over the edge and soars off on a roar of an exciting adventure.
An adventure I’m holding us up for.
His fingers wiggle at his sides, urging me to saddle up .
“So, I won’t actually have a saddle? I’ll just be up there raw dogging my first flight without anything at all to hang onto or strap me in on your death dragon .”
“Correct,” he answers once more, this time a bit more tersely.
I take a step back from him. That’s all the apprehension I have to show him because then he’s turning on me with those all-knowing, searching eyes of his.
“You just have to trust me.” His head dips, and through the slitted holes of the mask, he holds my gaze with so much honesty and vulnerability in his eyes, I can’t look away. “It’s all in the way I hold you.” With a single step, his body is brushing against mine, sending warmth that sears straight through the thick material of my pants. I swallow. He smirks. He bends, and with big protective hands, he clasps his fingers around my thighs, pulling me up until I’m slung low against his hips . . . intimately low.
“Um—what are you doing?” I ask as casually as I can while strictly reminding myself over and over and over again: DO NOT rock my center against this gorgeous man like a feral racoon desperate for a late-night piece of meat.
“A dragon’s spine is lined with spikes for protection all the way down to the spade of our tail.”
Soft hair teases through my fingers as I lock my hands around the back of his neck and settle in for the class that this academy should have taught me on day one.
“The spine has a very specific dip between two vertebrae. Some call it a rider’s dip . . .” His lips brush over mine, and my thighs clinch against his lean hips as I breathe in every rumbling word he says. “Some call it a lover’s dip.”
Ohhh, I like that. I like that a lot.
I bite back my smile, but that flirty moment is so short-lived. Big hands grip hard around my thighs, and he slings me around his torso like a doll. An embarrassing shriek caws from my lips. I fumble against him. My hands grab anything and everything to stop myself from falling the few meager little feet to the rock floor below. And when my heartrate settles and I’ve finally taken a real breath, I realize I’m covering his face with my palm.
“Yeah, that’s not going to work for us, Haunting,” he grunts out and tries his best to detach my splayed fingers from his jawline and throat.
Tense fingers dig into his shoulders, and I try my very best to relax against him, but it feels impossible when his lazy smile isn’t beaming down on me anymore.
“Once I shift, the bond will strengthen. Your body will strengthen. We’ll be okay, Keira,” he whispers, and I want so badly to believe him.
“Ready?” he asks gently, holding my legs in the stirrups of his palms.
I make a noise that I think is encouraging, but the rumbling laughter shaking through him reminds me I’m not nearly as assured as I’m pretending to be.
“I’m never gonna let you go, okay?”
The breath in my lungs eases, and I hug my body against his.
“I know,” I whisper peacefully against the heat of his neck.
And then he’s running. Bodies brush against my legs as students rush to step aside for their captain. The wind pulls at my hair, flicking the blonde locks across the lenses of my mask. The soar of my heartbeat takes off with every step he gains. Whisking white clouds surround us as the cavernous walls fall away. The rush of the ocean and the call of birds now drown out the excited chatter of my classmates. The drop is just three big steps ahead. Then two. Then one. And then . . .
I clench my eyes closed and slide my arms all the way around Arcane’s shoulders as much as I can. The air rushes in, stealing away my breath. Lean hips grow beneath me. Rough scales replace smooth skin. My fingers unlock from themselves as the man I trusted with my life just moments ago leaves me. And I’m now in the care of a deadly beast instead. My fingers dig in between two large, thick scales. My thighs lock hard around the dip of the narrow spine of its big body. A mixture somewhere between a purr and a snarl hums through the creature, and it vibrates all through my chest.
It's then that I realize I’m hugging this monstrous dragon.
And I think he likes it.
He’s sweet on you, Arcane says. His voice dances through the anxiety of my mind, and the smooth calm of his words is all it takes for me to finally risk opening my eyes.
The lenses of the mask aren’t an issue like I thought they might be. Because my vision is the clearest it’s ever been. Blonde locks whip across my face, and I swear my hair seems impossibly paler in the morning sunlight, softer. Longer, even. I’m so distracted by my own sense of self that I no longer fear the glistening ocean miles below. I lift my hand, and the fingerless leather gloves reveal perfectly manicured nails that are smoother and lengthier than I remember.
Your body’s changing, Arcane tells me, and I feel his presence not only in my mind but in every tingling nerve in my body.
He’s a part of me. So much so, it steals the breath in my lungs. The man who was so determined to get rid of me when we first met . . . will forever be a part of me. Dampness stings my eyes, and I sniff quietly beneath my mask before shaking away the annoying little emotions trying to root themselves in my chest.
What’s his name? I ask on a breath that betrays my heady emotions.
Hades, he says on a deliciously dark rumbling tone that burns through my belly.
Of course, it is, I snark back, but I can’t shake the sensation that shivers through me at the sound of that name. It’s familiar. Too familiar. I lift my head intently and focus on the horizon ahead.
Where are we going? I ask, trying hard to send the words down the pull of communication I feel within my chest.
If we want to win, we’ll have to get off Death Island to find something the others can’t. Dragon’s Lair is the most obvious, but I think we’ll have better luck at No Man’s Land.
No Man’s Land? Do we have any places in this kingdom that don’t sound like they’ll kill me if I take a wrong left turn?
His rumbling laughter hums in tune with the growl of the beast beneath me.
No Man’s Land is the island just off the coast of Attika. Similar to Dragon’s Lair, it’s uninhabitable for humans. Instead of volcanic activity and dragons, though, they have ice caps and fossorial creatures.
Fossorial? I ask, and I hate that I have to ask. Just don’t. Just stay oblivious. It’s easier that way. Blissfully oblivious . . .
They’re creatures that live underground. Incredibly territorial beasts. They break through the ice and snatch passersby right where they stand.
Yeah, no. Professor Dollins said this was a test run, not a suicide mission, Arcane.
But we want to win, right?
I blink several times before finding the right words rolling around on the floor of my mind.
No. I don’t. I don’t particularly care if I win. Only if I live, Arcane.
A beat of silence slips in as we rise through the thick clouds, passing through the faded white layers before breaking free above them. I feel his amusement within my chest, but I also feel the conflict there too.
He does want to win.
But he wants to respect me too.
What will he choose?
Let’s start with Dragon’s Lair. It’s safer and still exotic. We’ll still find a winner there.
At the sound of his command, a pleased smile pulls at my lips. I have to bite back the flourishing happiness to give him a careless reply like I’m not internally doing merry little somersaults at how quickly he brushed aside his pride to accommodate my apprehension.
I’ll meet you there, I say casually through my smug smile.
I’ll meet you there, he whispers back, and I feel the breath of his words caress my body like the wind against my skin.
The sun is high in the sky when we finally begin descending the clouds. It’s like free-falling from the midday sky but slightly safer, I suppose. I cling tightly to the scales beneath my fingertips, and I fear I’m crushing the enormous beast with the grip of my thighs. One big silver-ringed eye peers back at me from over its shoulder. It does it again, and I can tell it needs me, but I’m not sure what the animal wants.
He’ll need help landing, Arcane says, breaking the quiet of my mind with his warm rumbling words. Dragons have incredible sight but terrible depth perception issues. They’re too large to see the finer details beneath them. If you want to land safely, you’ll need to guide him.
My fingers dig into the thick scales once more, and I can’t help but notice how damp my palms are now. Really wishing we’d practiced this a bit more before tossing me literally to the wild to learn it all alone.
You’re not alone. I’m here. I got you, Keira.
What do I do? I ask, and I can’t keep the apprehension from my words.
Clamp around him and lean left.
Treetops break way beneath the belly of my beast, and I lean hard to try to guide us toward the open expanse to our left.
The dragon takes his time soaring with wide open wings and casually gliding to the left.
Lean harder.
I do, pushing my small body as hard as I can against the enormous creature. I peer up, and a lighthouse is just ahead, the stone of the structure showing its age with crumbling rock that’s seen the test of time. It’s beautiful but so fragile. Ancient, even.
That thing’s a historical landmark gifted to Attika after the Great War of Winters, Keira! Lean left!
“I am!” I shout out loud.
Lean left, lean left, lean—
Rock explodes around me, rubble stings across my flesh and covers my mask in the dust of ancient destruction. The earth hits the creature’s feet far too hard, rattling my teeth with the impact of our landing. I’m jostled up and down, and my legs slips, sliding me down the side of the beast as its claws eat up the miles of sand moving rapidly beneath us. I feel the dragon grow smaller as we go. The hot scales beneath my fumbling arms disappear. My hair tangles around my face, and just before my skull hits the ground, strong arms wrap around me. He cradles my body into his despite how exposed his own flesh is when he tumbles across the warm sand. He rolls us over and over again, each turn bruising into my arms and legs with a pain that assaults me too quickly to keep track of.
Even when we finally come to a halt, I keep my eyes closed. I can’t look at the literal mess I’ve made on this island within the first sixty seconds of visiting it.
The academy will never let me fly again after they find out I ruined the Great War of Winter’s lighthouse thing.
“You okay?” His palm slides against my jawline, cradling my head in his hands. My pulse pounds painfully through my head, but I try to ignore it. The ocean air kisses my face, and I know I’ve lost that stupid mask somewhere in our rough landing.
My lashes open slowly with sand lining my sight as I look up at his beautiful, searching eyes. His bare chest is against mine, warming me with the weight of his body perfectly wrapped all around me. My attention slides lower to find familiar black pants against his hips. I eye the clothing skeptically for a long moment.
And then I finally say the one thing that feels most important in this moment:
“You really are just naked right now, aren’t you?”