Chapter 35
CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
KIERAN
We’d gotten lucky.
We’d gotten so godsdamned lucky.
In what felt like a sickening sea of fury and frustration when it came to my work as of late, for once, I was greeted with some good news as I walked into headquarters.
As it turned out, Jocelyn Attwood had not been a victim of this confounding, ever-growing series of disappearances across the continent, but rather, her family had fallen victim to some good old-fashioned teenage delinquency.
The reason she’d been reported missing, leaving her parents frightened and frantic, was not because she’d been taken.
My cadre had discovered the girl had a secret beau back home—a surprisingly well-kept secret for a fifteen-year-old, all things considered.
The two little idiots had snuck off to an old cottage in the woods to canoodle, so far off the route she was supposed to be taking home that it hadn’t been covered by our initial search.
Ana?s had found them this morning, following her instincts on a lead.
The Ithreacean Guards apologized profusely for wasting our resources on the premature request for our assistance.
Jeremiah and Hans had exchanged a look, glancing back at me with a grimace as we got the news.
I think they both felt guilty, knowing that Selwyn Skielg had died under false accusations, but honestly?
Fuck that. I, for one, would sleep easy knowing that fucker was dead and buried.
Or, rather, burned to a crisp and scattered like dust in the wind.
The perks of having a Fire Conduit in your cadre.
It was still going to be a long day, but it had been a good day so far. If only the Fates weren’t about ready to torture me tonight.
Alas, it was inevitable. The only thing that awaited me this evening once my duties had concluded, was a lonesome, loathsome night of abject torment.
I was being melodramatic, but still.
After Arken had finally shown me her teeth last night, I was feeling ready.
Visions of my blood on her tongue had me feeling not only ready, but compelled to finally let go myself.
Let the man she really wanted to see come out and play.
If not immediately, then soon enough—because after that vicious little display of hers, I’d seen everything I needed to see. I knew what I needed to know.
I knew that Arken could take what I had to give. I knew she could handle the power exchange and come dance in the beautiful dark with me. And I also knew there was no use in holding myself back any longer—the consequences I feared had already come to pass.
I was never letting this woman go—not willingly. Not by choice. Arken had me bespelled, enchanted, and utterly ensorcelled for life. I was wrapped around those glowing fingers for good, even if she didn’t know it yet.
Which is what made it agony to keep a straight face this morning when she asked to spend the night alone, requiring some time to herself. That was bound to happen eventually, but the timing of it all had felt cruel.
To be fair, I didn’t need to dominate Arken tonight.
Just soon. And besides, I wanted to craft those plans carefully, to design the situation and set the scene with intent.
My girl had been fantasizing about this for quite some time now, that much I knew, and I wanted to be sure I not only met her filthy expectations but surpassed each and every one.
I had already spent far too much time this morning ideating on how it would unfold.
I’d make her play with herself first, I think.
Make her strip for me and see how good she is at following instructions.
I’d make her wait, make her beg—and gods, at some point, we’d need to work the breath play in so that I could choke her in the ways she so desperately wanted last night.
Fuck, that had been hot. She had no idea how hard it had been to say no.
A night apart would at least give me time to continue developing these devious designs.
Arken needed space, and that was fair. It was so fair, and so incredibly unfair for me to be feeling as frustrated as I was to be giving up a single night in her presence. I needed to let her breathe, relax, and take whatever time she needed.
I just hoped that the time away didn’t come with any newfound clarity. Hoped that the distance, however temporary, would not give way to her better senses of logic and reason, exposing her to the truth.
She could do so much better than the likes of me.
I clearly had confidence in some respects.
I knew, deep within my core, there wasn’t a single soul on this plane who could fuck Arken Asher like I could.
Nobody could play that perfect body like the delicate and complex instrument it was, quite like my eager hands.
If I had to cling to anything at all, it was that when it came to sex, I had shamelessly ruined her for any other.
But there was more to life than sex, even for deviants like us.
And despite the reckless urges that had risen in my state of intoxication last night, in the light of day, I knew the truth.
I could never give Arken all of me. I could never let myself go that far.
Not because I didn’t want to, but because it would be far too dangerous to allow.
Handing Arken my heart would be like signing her death warrant. No matter how badly I wanted to keep her, I knew that I couldn’t. Not forever.
I could be so much for Arken, but I couldn’t be everything. And she deserved everything. One day, she would figure that out and move on. But until that day came, I was gonna take whatever I could fucking get.
And of course, I took solace in knowing that I would see her tomorrow.
“Of course, Little Conduit,” I’d told her. “Take all the time you need. We can have a night to ourselves, but I’m off shift tomorrow, so I’m taking you out. Deal?”
“Deal,” she’d said with a coy smile—a smile that comforted me deeply, as it suggested she really did just need one night to herself. She wasn’t done with me yet. “Do I get to know where we’re going?”
“An art gallery,” I informed her, smirking to myself. “There’s a local artist I like, and I’ve been following his work for a while now. I think you’ll enjoy his latest collection.”
Her eyes had glimmered with intrigue, but she had no idea what she was in for when it came to Jacquez Moreau-Navarres and the sinful scenes he brought to life with his paintbrush.
It would be a bit of a prelude, I’d decided. A taste of what was waiting for her later, after our day met its end and I finally got her alone again.
It had, indeed, been a long day—but as the sun began to set and I pulled myself out of a hot bath, toweling off and ready to crawl into bed with a book, I was pleasantly surprised to hear a paw scratching against my front door.
“Hello, Bluebell,” I said, affectionately scratching the celestial fox behind the ears before taking the small scroll of parchment from his mouth. “Is your mother bored already?” The semi-corporeal canid vanished into the aether with a tiny hop, and I took Arken’s note inside.
I know this was my idea and all, but am I allowed to say I miss you?
Smiling to myself, I stopped by my office for a stack of parchment and a pen before padding back to my bedroom.
I left my window cracked open so that Hekate and Bluebell could come and go as they pleased without interruption, and I settled into the comfort of the soft linen blankets and the pillows that still smelled faintly of Arken’s hair.
Only if I'm allowed to say that I miss you more.
Gods, I really did. I was content to give her the space she needed, if only because I knew that if I didn’t, Arken would only tire of me sooner.
I wanted her affections to last as long as humanly possible, and so I hadn’t tried to fight or pester when she’d asked me for this time alone.
But I was drowning in both her scent and her absence.
Doubtful, Captain.
I ran my fingertips over the words, feeling the scratching indents from her quill, and letting the feel of her written words summon the sound of her voice in my mind. And what a sweet sound it was.
There were so, so many sweet sounds that girl made for me. Smiling to myself, I penned a response.
Oh, yeah? Just how badly do you miss me, then, Little Conduit?
More than you know.
I was going to need a little more from her than that.
That’s the convenient thing about mail sprites, Arken. Through the enchanting power of arcana, notes and letters can be exchanged, giving one the opportunity to explain themselves.
Her star-flecked fox hopped into my lap once more, promptly depositing another scrap of parchment.
Fishing for compliments is beneath a man of your caliber, Kieran.
I cackled. I loved it when this woman used my own words against me. Clever Little Conduit.
As previously established, I'm the scoundrel in this scenario. I'm also shameless. Stroke my ego if not my cock tonight, Asher. Tell me what you're missing.
On second thought, I quickly summoned Hekate back to my arm so that I could tack on—
Oh, and tell me what you're wearing while you're at it.