Chapter 14
A za sat on her bed, looking out at the vast, sparkling city and the hills beyond.
The moon hung high in the sky. A million thoughts ran through her head.
The King and his unusual behavior, the visions and nightmares becoming more frequent, and Jahar, always Jahar.
She slowly came out of her daze when her stomach rumbled and her lips began to chap.
She huffed, slid off her bed, and sauntered into her bathing chamber to glance at herself in the mirror.
Her wavy hair fell loosely over her shoulders, stopping just over her breasts.
She was wearing a pale pink chemise that leaves little to the imagination.
It was nearly see-through, with only the lower half of her body covered by undergarments, leaving her nipples faintly visible beneath the fabric.
She fluffed her hair, pulling more of it forward to cover herself, and made her way to the entrance area of her suite, where the small brown sofa sits.
She hesitated.
I shouldn’t be doing this. I shouldn’t call him in here while I have this flimsy thing on.
It’s far too revealing… and sexy… but I want him to see me that way.
I want him to want me. But I can’t have him either way.
I am a princess, and he is my guard, and he’s far too devoted to his guard duties and to being my protector for him actually to show interest in the way I desire him to.
Either way, what I wore didn’t matter. I can’t have him, and he can’t have me.
She takes a seat on the sofa, feeling defeated, and calls out, “Jahar?”
Moments later, Jahar entered, his hands held behind his back. “Yes, Princess,” he answers in his usual guard tone. But she caught the flicker in his eyes as he took her in, one he quickly masked with indifference.
“Could you fetch me some tea and crackers? I’m getting hungry and thirsty. I don’t think I’ve eaten or had much to drink today. I think some anxiety and other things might have gotten the best of me,” she sighs with a slight plea in her voice.
“Of course, my princess. Is there anything else you require?”
Your presence. She thinks but answers with a simple “No, thank you.”
Jahar nods his head, lingering a few seconds more than she assumes he meant to, and exits the room.
She returns to her bed to wait, her gaze drifting back to the window once again.
It is only a few minutes before she hears the door open again.
Wondering why and how Jahar has returned so soon, she exits her room once again, entering the foyer of her suite, “No way you’re back already.
You just—” she starts, then abruptly stops when, instead of Jahar standing near the sofa, she sees King Abasi, his hands resting on his belt.
She instinctively crossed her arms over her chest.
“You cover yourself for me, yet you walk out boldly for your guard in your private night attire. Seems a bit improper, Princess,” the King purrs with venom in his tone.
“My guard is professional, and I trust him with my life.
I could not find my robe before coming out and was surprised he was back so soon with the tea and crackers I requested, “she explains.
“Why are you in my room unaccompanied? That seems far more improper, considering I am a visiting princess, and we do not currently have any deals or courtships in place,” she says, making sure to enunciate her words.
“I merely came to speak to you about just that. Things did not go as planned earlier.” He says, folding his arms behind his back and stepping closer.
“Now that is far too improper,” she said, sarcasm threading her voice, “I am now asking you to leave. If you wish to discuss matters further, I will do so, but in a designated area, not my bedchambers. Good night, Your Highness.”
She saw rage flare behind his eyes and feared he might continue to overstep her boundaries as he takes a step forward, but to her surprise, he bows and, through gritted teeth, says, “I look forward to our talk,” and leaves the room.
She let out a breath she hadn’t realized she was holding. She sat back on her bed, trying to steady her shaking hands and breath.
Time blurred until Jahar burst through the door, yelling frantically, “Aza! Aza! Where are you?”
She comes out of her bedroom once again to see Jahar in disarray and breathing rapidly. A stark contrast to his normally calm and neutral demeanor. He rushed to her, cupping her cheeks, searching her up and down.
“Did he hurt you? Did he touch you?” He asks with panic lacing his voice.
Aza placed her hands over his arms, grounding him.
“No, no. I… I think he came in here to startle me into accepting an offer, but I rejected him and made him leave. I believe he has been watching us far more closely than I initially thought and has been waiting for you to leave. The other guard is barely more than a boy and was probably intimidated by him to let him in.”
He sighed, dropping his head and stepping back, “I am sorry, Princess, that I was not here.”
“It is not your fault. I asked you to leave to fetch me things.”
He lowers his head and says in a voice laced with shame, “No. I am your servant, yet I continue to overstep my place. He has suspicions that are untrue due to my error.”
“No, this is not on you. I push you too much. I overstep. And I am sorry. But please… I don’t want a lesson right now,” she utters, tears welling in her eyes.
He notices, and his face and tone soften, “I am sorry, Princess, I should return to my duties. Arik has your tea and crackers. I shoved them into his hands after the King…” His voice trails off.
“The King what?” Aza questions.
“Nothing.” Aza gives him a pressuring look, and he concedes, “He passed me in the hall from your room. He must have waited until I returned. He whispered as I passed by that I need not worry, that he had already taken care of my princess. I took that to mean he... he took advantage of you.” He struggles to get his last thought out.
“I see,” Aza sniffles, “Thankfully he did not.”
“I am truly sorry. But I… should go,” he sighs.
Jahar turns to leave, and Aza breaks out into a full-body sob, “Please don’t go.
I don’t want to be alone. It’s so bad here.
They’re everywhere. I see them. I hear them.
I haven’t stopped having nightmares. They tell me that this is a bad place and he is a bad man.
I know they’re not there. I know no one else can see them, but sometimes it’s hard not to listen to them.
” She dragged in breaths between sobs, “I just want to go home.”
Jahar steps up to her but is hesitant to reach out. “Please. I’m sorry. I will stop asking things of you, but please hold me now,” Aza begs.
He pulled her into him, his arms settling at her lower back as she wraps her arms around his neck, laying her face on his shoulder. She continues to sob and soak his shirt. “I’m here. You’re safe,” he whispers gently in her ear.
He continues to hold her and gently rub circles on her back. Aza soaks in this moment the best she can. She forces her mind to focus on the present moment and enjoy this while it lasts. She tightened her grip around him, but she could feel him beginning to loosen his own and pull away.
She mutters a quiet, “Please,” and he repositions himself to hold her a little tighter.
But she knew it wouldn’t last, and eventually, he breaks away from her.
“Let me get your tea and snacks and put you to bed,” he offers calmly.
Aza nods her head, even though her heart, body, and mind want to protest, want to have him hold her longer.
He heads for the door, peeks his head out, mutters something, and then returns with the goods he offered.
He gestures for her to return to her room.
She does so reluctantly. He places her tea and a plate of assorted crackers on her nightstand.
She makes her way into bed and works her way under the covers.
He helps her lift the blanket to cover her legs and lower half.
She remains seated in bed, preparing to eat what Jahar had brought her.
He places the plate on top of her legs and hands her her tea.
“Is there anything else you need, Princess?” Jahar asks.
“No, thank you.”
“Get some rest. I will be just outside the door if you need anything, and I won’t be leaving.” He assures.
“Will you stay with me? For a little while? There’s a chair in the corner,” Aza requests with soft eyes. “There’s no better way to protect the princess than to be right beside her,” she tried to joke.
Jahar gives her a pitiful look while lowering his head and then relents, “For a little while.”
He moves the chair from the corner and slides it closer to her bed, careful not to get too close. Aza could tell he was putting his walls back up.
“Will you tell me something good?” She asked as she sometimes does when she needs a little encouragement, especially after her bad moments.
He ponders for a moment and then responds, “I saw a big market when we were outside today. Maybe they have a flower shop. We could buy a few to take home to add to your collection. I know how much you love adding new flowers and plants.”
A smile spreads across her face, “That sounds like a wonderful idea.”
She starts eating her snacks and sipping her tea.
The tea doesn’t taste as good as her home tea, but it will do for the time being.
It sure cost her enough trouble in between her asking for it and receiving it.
She caught Jahar watching her, and she plastered a smile on her face so that he wouldn’t think she disliked it.
“Promise me you won’t leave my side while we remain here. I’m going to play my part as best as I can while we’re here for the next few days and then… then beg my father not to force me to marry him, I guess.”
“I will stay with you, always. There are plenty of other kingdoms, my dear Princess. I’m sure you will find a suitable husband.”