Chapter 27
A za spends another day and night in the room.
The only time she sees anyone is when guards bring fresh food and a drink to replace the untouched tray.
Honestly, if they were supposedly in need of new trade deals for food, they shouldn’t waste it on her, who has no interest in eating or drinking.
Aza was just lucky enough that this office had a connected bathroom.
Aza doesn’t know what time it was, but she could tell when it had become day or night again by the change of the guards. She hasn’t seen Jahar since.
This morning, Killian entered the room, not carrying any plates or cups.
“Princess, I have a message from the King.”
“Tell him I’m not feeling well. I need to be alone.”
“That’s just it, Princess. He has come to your room multiple times; the guards had to eventually tell him where you were and that you weren’t eating or leaving here. He wants you to go eat breakfast with him and talk things through.”
“Please tell him that I am not feeling up to it today.”
“Princess, he insisted. You are to meet him now in the grand hall for breakfast and a conversation.”
Anger floods her veins, “Fine.”
Aza throws off the blanket her and stands from the chair, making her way past Killian and out the door.
“See to it that this door does not get locked again. We cannot just lock her away, regardless of what happened here.”
“Of course, Princess,” Killian bows, “Would you like to shower quickly before seeing the King?”
“Are you trying to suggest something?” Aza asks, feeling a little angry at herself for being rude to Killian.
“No, of course not. I was merely asking for your comfort. We are ready to take you now.”
“If my father wants to see me now, he will see me as I am.”
Aza saw herself in the mirror earlier. Her hair had become a tangled, frizzy mess.
The bags under her eyes were thick and dark.
Her dress was stained with dust and teardrops.
Aza didn’t care, though. She was still angry with her father for making her stay the full week with King Abasi, and was even more angry now that he was demanding that she must meet with him.
Aza drags her feet to the dining hall, pushing the large doors open, not announcing anything, just strolling in and dropping into a chair.
“Aza, my dear. You do not look well, but it is good to see you.”
“Thanks, Baba.”
Baba clears his throat in discomfort, “Um… please leave us.”
The guards leave, and the servants quickly set down their breakfasts before leaving as well.
“There are many things we need to discuss, but first, eat. I was told you haven’t eaten since your return.”
“I’m not hungry.”
“You shouldn’t waste food.”
“I didn’t ask for this. I clearly haven’t been eating, so why do they keep sending me more food? Doesn’t seem like it’s my fault.”
Baba stares at her for a moment; a mix of emotions crosses his face, concern, irritation maybe.
He clears his throat once more, “Aza, our food supply has been declining more drastically than I would like. Harvests have not been going well recently. The heat is increasing, and we think it may be affecting our crops' growth, and on top of that, the animals seem to not want to reproduce in this heat and are also getting sick. We have only yielded three new calves. Our main supplier of livestock and crops recently sent me a letter stating that he wants to change our trade agreement or will have to stop supplying us. Some of our other trade partners say it is too far and too rough a journey to send adequate amounts of cattle and crops across the sea right now, with the high waves and storms. The Bashar Kingdom has been very helpful, but they alone won’t sustain us, especially when we can’t seem to multiply anything they give us. ”
“What is King Taeron’s reason for change? What does he want?” Aza asks, seeing surprise crossing Baba’s face, “Yes, I pay attention and know our trade partners. I’m more than just a pretty face for trade.”
“Aza,” she waves her hand, dismissing it. Baba sighs and continues, “He says he now wants Ruinium, and apparently a lot of it.”
“Ruinium!” Aza snaps, slamming her hands on the table.
“Aza, please, control yourself. Yes, that is what he has requested. I have not agreed to anything yet.”
“You can’t agree to that! The only mine that we know of is where Mama is buried! It’ll be destroyed! You will disturb her body’s rest!”
“Aza, please, I understand you are upset over this news, but please keep your voice down. I don’t want our people to worry without reason. That is why I am having a discussion with you and discussions with my advisors to figure out a plan.”
“What purpose would he have for Ruinium? Nobody has wanted that in years. That’s why we stopped trading it all those years ago, not to mention it was disturbing the land too much.
People found that despite it being lightweight, it was incredibly strong and therefore hard to work with.
For hell's sake, the people gave it the name Ruinium because it ruined nearly all their mining tools trying to get it. Only diamond pickaxes were able to penetrate it. And we don’t have more than two of those, and they cost an abysmal amount to get. ”
“I don’t know. I already asked if he would take another metal instead, but he insisted it needed to be Ruinium.”
Aza could practically feel the steam flowing from her ears, and her heart felt like it was going to escape.
“There is another option,” Baba starts cautiously.
“Let me guess, I’m more valuable than metal,” Aza says sarcastically.
“Unfortunately, my dear, these are the times we live in. A marriage alliance would be a strong trade deal and could help us protect our people.”
Her heart drops. She couldn’t do this. She wanted more than anything to protect and provide for her people, but it made her sick to think about marrying a random man, especially after Jahar practically broke her heart mere nights ago.
“King Abasi has an impressive amount of livestock and crops, and he is prepared to offer an incredible, exclusive trade deal for your hand.”
“No!” Aza screams.
“Aza!” Baba scolds.
“No, Baba! That man is horrible. Things got even worse after that letter I sent you. I have more to tell you.”
Baba seems slightly angry, but he lets her tell him everything. Baba doesn’t look convinced.
“It wasn’t my visions, Baba. Jahar saw and heard these things too. I will not marry him, and we need to do something about it. Something is terribly wrong there.”
“Aza, I need to focus on our kingdom first. We have no standing there; doing anything could be considered an act of war. I’m sorry, Aza, but most of these are speculations and theories. And most kingdoms have cells to hold prisoners. Even we do. You have no idea why that boy was down there.”
“Baba! Ugh, well, please just try the cake.” Aza rushes into the kitchens and frantically asks the servants if they know about the cake she brought home.
The servant looks confused at Aza’s rapid words and chaotic movements. She asked another servant and gets the same answer. Aza’s on the verge of tears, thinking it was lost or thrown out.
“Princess, it is in the fridge. Sir Jahar brought it here himself and said it was very important. Here.” A chef comes over, goes to the fridge, grabs the container, lays the cake nicely on a plate, and hands her a fork.
Her chest tightens at learning that Jahar did that for her. But it didn’t matter. He had told her he had feelings for her, but he just wouldn’t indulge them. But that was a problem for another time; she had to focus on Baba right now and King Abasi.
“Here, Baba. Try this. It’s Jiddu’s chocolate. Abasi said he’d never met him before. Why would he lie about that? A bunch of chocolate went missing along with other supplies and goods. What if his soldiers raided the boat and took the chocolate by accident?”
“Aza, these are some serious accusations, without any proof!”
“I have proof, right here! Try it!”
“It could be chocolate from anywhere. You are sounding ridiculous, Aza. We need to end this discussion.”
“Baba, I’m just asking you to try it!” Aza is standing over Baba, practically shoving the plate in his face.
“Enough! I will not entertain this charade any further. You are dismissed.”
Something snaps inside Aza at his words, “I’m not one of your fucking servants!
You do not dismiss me!” Aza throws the cake across the room, the plate shattering on the ground and the cake smearing on the wall, “And don’t tell me I don’t know what my mother’s favorite chocolate was!
You might have been blind and not have paid attention to her, not have known that, or seen that she was struggling so incredibly, but I did!
I told you something was wrong, and you didn’t listen then either!
And then she fucking killed herself! Don’t fucking patronize me! ” Venom spills from her words.
Tears well up in Baba’s eyes, but there’s anger there too, “I don’t know what has gotten into you, young lady, but you need to leave. Now!”
“It doesn’t even matter if I tell you, because you won’t listen to what I have to say anyway!
” She pushes her way out the doors and stomps away, not saying a word to her guards.
She heads back to the office room and slams the door behind her.
She grabs the blanket and screams into it with all the breath in her lungs, and then she breaks down in sobs once more.
Aza doesn’t know how many days pass. Two, three?
She just knew that eventually she felt sick to her stomach with everything and had to start eating to ease some of the pain and discomfort.
She was finishing what she thought was probably lunch when there was a knock on the door. Baba entered the room.
He looks so incredibly uncomfortable being in here. He takes a few steps into the room to shut the door behind him, then stands with his hands clasped in front of him.
“I fear things grew far too heated the other day before we could discuss other options—real solutions. I do not want to send you to a man you don’t love for the sake of a trade deal.
I love you, my daughter. I am truly sorry if I’ve made you feel unheard or unvalued, especially if you’ve carried that since you were a young girl. ”
There’s a small sob he covers with a cough.
“I did hear you when you said something was wrong with your mother. I didn’t want you to see me worry.
I thought it would only frighten you more, so I pretended everything was fine.
I know now that was the wrong choice. I searched for every healer I could find, but they all said nothing was wrong, nothing to treat.
I think that’s when I began to pull away from you.
You remind me of her in every way, and when the healers said the same about you…
all I could think of was losing you, too.
I think that’s why I’ve delayed your marriage.
I don’t want to see you go. I don’t want to trust another man to care for you. What if he doesn’t?”
His voice falters. “I couldn’t save my wife.
I didn’t understand how bad it was. She didn’t tell me.
I know now, through you, that she was carrying the same thing.
I think she always had. She told me, in the beginning, she didn’t want children.
I see now it may have been because she didn’t want you to endure what she did.
But I pushed. I wanted a child to share our love with.
She conceived that night in the oasis. The story you loved so much.
I didn’t know it then, when I asked her to marry me, but I was overjoyed when we found out.
Everyone believed it happened after the wedding.
I knew parenthood would be frightening, but the fear in her…
I didn’t understand it. She wouldn’t explain.
But when she felt you move for the first time, nothing else mattered.
She couldn’t wait to meet you. She loved you so much.
I don’t know why she did what she did, but it was never your fault.
It may have been mine. We’ll never know.
I am truly sorry for everything. I love you more than anything in this world.”
Baba barely finished his last sentence before Aza was wrapping her arms around him, “I’m sorry, Baba. I love you too. I’m sorry for what I said. It was not your fault.” Aza sobs into his chest, and she could feel him shaking slightly, trying to hold back his sobs as he engulfed her in a hug.
“Oh, my darling daughter. You are the light of my life. I’m sorry that I have done so much wrong.”
“I forgive you, Baba.”
Baba squeezes her tighter, and it feels like some of that weight she has held on her shoulders has lifted. They stay there holding each other for a while before Baba pulls back to look Aza in the eyes.
“She lives still in you, my dear. I see it every time I look into your eyes.”
Aza sniffles and wipes her tears.
“I want to help. Mama loved this kingdom and her people. I can’t let anything happen to it. I want to help.”
“Darling, we don’t have to discuss it now.”
“We should.”
Baba sighs, “Alright, why don’t we have dinner together and then discuss afterwards. My dear, you need to take care of yourself, stop punishing yourself for whatever it is. If you want to tell me, I am here, but I understand if you are not ready.”
“Thank you, Baba. I will be sure to remember that.”
There’s no way that Aza can tell Baba she’s in love with Jahar and wants to be with him, especially with what is happening to their kingdom.
Not that Jahar would even go for it if he could at this point.
But she also didn’t want to risk the small chance that, despite their heart-to-heart, Jahar would get in a lot of trouble with her father.
One problem at a time, and Baba was right: she desperately needed a shower and some self-care.
So after Baba leaves, Aza tidies the room quickly and blows a kiss for her mother. The stakes are higher than she ever could have realized, and she is still not sure if she is ready for what tonight has in store.