Chapter 28
A za heads to the dining hall to meet her father.
Her thoughts churn, but she knew that, regardless of everything, she cannot be selfish while her kingdom struggles.
She won’t leave her people to fend for themselves.
She had to do something. So, she would hear Baba and his various potential options out.
When she entered the room, Baba was already sitting at the table, drinking tea from his cup.
He looks composed tonight. He looked up as Aza approached, and he stood to welcome her.
Walking over, he embraced her, and she returned the embrace.
He pulls out her chair and slides it in as she sits, then returns to his.
“I asked the kitchens to make us simple, comforting food, if that is alright.” He looked worried.
“That is fine, Baba,” Aza pauses briefly, “It’s worse than you’re saying, isn’t it?”
He swallows hard before answering, “Yes. We are incredibly low on livestock. They seem to be dying off; we don’t understand why.
The heat has been increasing as of late, but it should not be as detrimental as we’re seeing.
The crops are facing their own struggles.
Farmers are seeing more yields with rot, forcing them to abandon patches of farmland, unsure if it’s the soil, the seeds, or the environment.
I fear that in a few moons we will be out of food.
We might last longer if we ration, but I believe that will cause panic.
I’ve already asked the kitchen staff to cut back drastically on meals in the castle.
Not that we were greedy, but we should not be indulging in any way when things look like this. ” He shakes his head and sighs.
“I agree. I’ll work with the farming villages to develop new plans to keep the crops and cattle alive and healthy. If it is the soil or the sun, maybe we need structures to protect the crops specific to our food supply.”
“You are wise beyond your years, my dear. I do appreciate your offer, and that is something we can look into.” He takes a sip of tea and then adds, “We also have the upcoming ball. I don’t know what to do about that.
Cancel it? I don’t know how that would look for those coming in hopes of finalizing a marriage alliance or any potential trade deals outside of it. ”
“I don’t think we should cancel it, but I agree we shouldn’t be irresponsible about it,” Aza pauses, then says,, “Do you think we could possibly get a large shipment of fish from the Hanlo Kingdom? Considering they are an arctic kingdom in their cold season, perhaps we can offer them extra clothing and other goods to keep them warm and to get through the winter. They have a near-endless supply of fish; I’m sure they wouldn’t miss it if we offered them a good trade.
And then we can host the ball, serve fish and rice, finalize a marriage agreement, and no one needs to question it.
We could also use the fish to feed our people while we figure out a more permanent solution where we can continue to also provide for ourselves, and who knows, maybe some prince or king is so smitten with me that he’ll offer us a boatload of new crops and animals that might fare better in our climates. "
“I don’t want to put this all on your shoulders, Aza, and I definitely don’t want you to feel like a bargaining chip.”
“It’s alright, Baba. It’s time I take my responsibilities and influence seriously. Mama would have wanted me to be strong and do the right thing.”
“She would have also wanted you to be happy.”
“There’s nothing saying I can’t be. If I’m being honest, I may not have given the suitors a fair chance. I think the ball will be a good way to get reintroduced to them, with a new lens.”
“You are so much like her. She was so strong and determined. She mellowed out after she become a mother, but she had such a fire. Don’t get me wrong, she still had that fire after you came; you didn’t put it out, she just put more control on it, fearing burning you, I guess.
What I’m trying to say is, she would be very proud. I am very proud.”
Tears well in Aza’s eyes. “Thank you, Baba.”
His eyes gloss over, but he clears his throat and continues speaking, “I think you’ve brought up some wonderful ideas.
I’ll bring them to my advisors and investigate them thoroughly.
There is something else we must discuss.
Another option. We’ve received a message from King Yuanjun of the Xiaodan Kingdom.
We do not currently have a trade agreement with them, despite their island being not far from us.
The King is, I hear, quite stubborn and set in his ways, but his health is failing, and he wants to prepare his son for the throne and secure him a wife as soon as possible.
His son is Prince Zhoufei. They have requested that you visit and get to know each other, and if things go well, King Yuanjun will begin discussions of alliance and trade.
I’ve heard they have an impressive food stock with many livestock varieties, fruits, nuts, and other crops.
But, I want you to feel comfortable with going and with whatever decision you make. ”
“I appreciate that, Baba,” she sucks in a breath trying to hold back the heartbreaking emotions trying to flood her system, “But not everyone will be as lucky as you and Mama, to find the person they love with all their heart, and be able to marry them.”
“You never know. Maybe this prince will be different.”
Aza can’t say more. Aza appeases him by smiling softly and agreeing, “Maybe.” She takes a sip of her tea to wash down the bile she is starting to feel in her throat, “How soon can I visit?”
“They are prepared to host you when I give them the word.”
“Very well, send a letter that I am ready to visit, and as soon as they send a letter back confirming, we will set sail.”
“Are you sure? You don’t want a little more time?”
“I’m sure. I am ready.”
“Very well, I will have the letter drafted and sent tonight; it may be a few days before we hear back.”
“Okay, let me know as soon as it returns.”
“I will. Shall we eat now? Or is there something else you wish to discuss?”
“No, we can eat. If I think of anything else, I will let you know.”
Aza and Baba finish dinner in silence, appreciating each other’s company. When they both finish, Baba wishes Aza a good night and he tells her he is heading to his office. Aza heads to her room.
Aza spends time jotting notes, she writes about potential causes of rot in plants and crops, drawing on knowledge she learned from her mother.
Aza doesn’t know much about caring for animals, despite loving them, so she writes down brief questions to ask the farmers and tenders.
She begins sketching out ideas of potential changes they could implement, including the buildings she suggested to Baba.
Wrapping up, Aza decides to call it a night early to catch up on some proper sleep, planning to visit the villages tomorrow to gather more information and ideas.
She changes into a nightgown and slides under her covers.
Her thoughts drift to Jahar. She pushes it away, worrying so much about him when too many other lives are on the line.
Still, she cries herself to sleep. Fixing a food shortage seems easier than dealing with losing the man she loves.
Aza wakes in a cold sweat. This time in her nightmare, a boy clutched a teddy bear soaked in blood, a hole torn through his chest. She tried to comfort him, but he didn’t stop screaming. Eventually, she woke.
Aza thinks no man would want her like this, with these nightmares. Besides lying with her to make an heir, she’d probably never see her husband. She was sure he’d be far too embarrassed by her for that. Aza would be alone.
There had to be some way of controlling it.
Aza couldn’t remember anytime that Mama woke up this way, and although she seemed very distracted during what Aza could only assume were her visions, they didn’t scare her like they scared Aza.
So, maybe there was hope, but Aza couldn’t ask Mama. But she could ask Mama’s mom.
Aza has no real relationship with her Jaddah.
She remembers finding her and Mama arguing in Mama’s room one day, Jaddah cursing and leaving the room.
Mama didn’t talk about it, but Aza didn’t really see her much after that.
She only knows that Jaddah lives in a house in one of the outer villages, and that’s where she stayed.
Aza never felt the need to visit her. She was hardly in Mama’s life and didn’t even come to visit Aza after Mama passed, so it was more out of anger that Aza never went to her about her situation.
But it was time now, well, at least soon.
Aza decided that after her visit with this new prince, she would visit her and see if she knew anything. Aza can’t handle anything else right now, which is why she decided to push it off. One problem at a time, she thought.
When Aza had dressed for the day, she stepped outside of her room, part of her hoping to see Jahar’s smile, but he still was not there. Disappointment twists in her stomach. Ramsee and Bennu were standing outside today. She greeted them both and told them the villages she wanted to visit today.
They both escorted her to the horse stalls, letting the stableboys know to prepare horses and her carriage.
While they waited, Aza turned to Bennu, the question burning in her throat, “Where has Jahar been? Is he alright?”
“He requested the week off. As far as I know, according to Inaya, he was at the pub the other night, relaxing. But I personally have not seen or talked to him.”
Inaya was one of the very few female guards. She rarely got stationed with Aza, doing other duties instead. She had worked with Jahar for one day, and they seemed comfortable with one another.
Was he sleeping with her now? Out of revenge, anger, or jealousy?
Bennu hadn’t said they were together, but Jahar had told me he hadn’t been with a woman for three years.
Surely, at some point, any man would have had enough and found something to satisfy himself.
Right? Was Jahar doing that now? After making it clear we would never be together?
After coming so close to having sex with me, had he lost his resolve completely?
The thoughts that raced through her head made her incredibly nauseous. Color drains from her face. Bennu looks at her with worry creasing his brows.
“Princess, are you alright?”
“F-fine. Why would Jahar not speak to his best friend?”
“Princess?”
“Nevermind. I shouldn’t pry.”
Bennu looks around, finding only Ramsee leaning against a stable, seeming completely oblivious to their conversation.
“We had a bit of a fight. He’s not talking to me right now.”
“What was it about?”
Bennu gives her an incredulous look.
“Do you think he’s sleeping with Inaya?”
“What?” Bennu startles, surprise weighing heavily on his words, “Princess, I…” He is cut off by the neighing of horses and the scrape of wheels on the ground.
“Never mind, I don’t want to know the answer,” Aza says as she makes her way over to the carriage and enters the cabin.
Sitting in the carriage as it makes its way to the first village on her list, all Aza sees is Jahar with Inaya, his lips kissing lines up her stomach, him sliding inside of her.
Aza grips her hair and pulls, trying to pull the thoughts out of her head.
He couldn’t. He wouldn’t. He said he cared about me. Someone who cares about you wouldn’t do that. But isn’t that exactly what I’m doing to him? Meeting all these men, choosing the one who will eventually be inside me.
Aza grabs the cushion beside her, pushing her face into it and screaming.
Her throat and lungs burned. Her eyes threatened to let the waterfall begin.
But Aza could not be distracted today. She took one more deep breath and screamed into the pillow for the last time.
She sets it back beside her. She grabs her notepad out of her purse and begins reading over her notes again to pass the time.