Chapter Fourteen
Jake
In my arms, Serenity goes rigid. I raise my head to look down at her and remove my fingers from between her thighs, which she then immediately clamps together. Her pretty green eyes are ablaze, blonde hair splayed out over the pillow.
‘Y-you thought I was a virgin?’ she questions, and that’s when I know I’ve messed up.
I pull back a little and search her face. ‘I… I figured you were, yes.’
She looks straight up horrified. Then she wriggles out from beside me and gets to her feet, covering her naked breasts with one arm, picking up her panties with her free hand.
‘Why would you think that?’ she blurts when I’m still on the bed. ‘Why would you think I’m a virgin?’
I shift my body so I’m on my knees. My heart begins to hammer. ‘I… it was just… at the lake, I said about my body count, and you didn’t say anything, so I figured… I just thought—’
Her panties back on, she’s picked up her bra. She turns her back and fastens it. ‘I didn’t say my body count because it was higher than yours, and I didn’t wanna embarrass you!’
My stomach turns over. Fuck. ‘Oh,’ is all I can say.
She bends back down, grabs her jeans and tugs them over her hips.
‘I need to go,’ she mumbles.
‘Wait, what?’ I say and shoot to my feet. ‘What do you mean, you need to go? We can talk about this. I’m sorry I thought you were a virgin.’
‘I told you I had a boyfriend in high school!’
‘So? That doesn’t matter. Plenty of girls have a high school boyfriend and they don’t sleep with them. Some girls wanna wait for the right guy to come along…’
In my mind, I’m tryna say something helpful but it doesn’t seem to work because she’s even more spun out.
‘Jake, I don’t know where you went to school, but in my high school, if you went with a guy, you went with a guy, if you know what I mean.
’ She violently shakes her head. ‘I don’t know why I came here,’ she mutters.
‘We don’t know each other… at all.’ She picks up her red top and pulls it over her head.
‘Okay, I got it wrong, I’m an idiot. I’m sorry. We can talk about this.’
‘I’m sorry,’ she whispers, and there are tears in her eyes. ‘I gotta go. I gotta be somewhere.’
I can’t lose her, not for another week. ‘Serenity, please. Don’t leave. So, you’ve been with a couple of guys, it’s all good, I’m totally cool with that.’
She puts one hand to her forehead, like she can’t believe me. ‘Eight. That’s my body count, alright? If you really need to know it. Eight guys.’
Okay, I was not expecting her to say that. But it’s too late because she’s seen my reaction. I swallow.
‘I lost my virginity at sixteen,’ she says, maybe in her own defense. ‘So, technically, that’s one guy per year. So please don’t get all judgy on me.’
‘I’m not judging you, I swear it. I would never do that.’
‘You already did! Look, I didn’t grow up in this perfect little neighborhood like you! Where I come from, there were certain expectations placed on girls my age. Please. Let me go.’
I step out her way and she walks right by me, back into the cabin’s living area, wiping her eyes. I struggle to pull on my shirt and go after her. ‘Serenity, please, I just wanna talk. That’s all.’
She grabs her things. I hover around her like a fly in the Texan heat.
She stops. When she speaks, her voice wavers. ‘Jake, you’re a really nice guy. Like… too nice. And I never meant to lead you on. But I shouldn’t have come here tonight. I… I’m sorry.’
Then she looks to the floor.
‘Serenity… look, I don’t… I don’t expect anything from you. All I wanna do is get to know you. Spend time with you. We don’t have to do anything, just… hang out. Please. I can’t stop thinking about you.’
Her eyes fill up again. She blinks back the tears.
‘At least take the cell phone,’ I say. I get it from the table and press the unit into her hand. I don’t tell her that I can’t handle another week without another word being exchanged between us. Before I let go, I relish the feeling of her fingers against mine.
She keeps her eyes on the floor, but nods her head.
‘Stay with me,’ I say.
‘I’m sorry,’ she says, before she turns and walks out the door.
When it slams behind her, I stop and stare. I could bet my heartrate’s above 180 right now, the amount of adrenaline that’s coursing through my body.
I’ve fucked up. Badly.
I hear her car engine, and for a moment, her headlights dance across the room as she pulls away, the sound of her tires crunching across the track.
Then she’s gone.
I lower my body to the couch and cradle my head in my hands.
I groan, because I’m the biggest fucking idiot that ever lived.
How could I have got it so wrong? How could I have mistaken her for a virgin?
I raise my head. Because she’s sweet, and I couldn’t imagine any guy being good enough to get close enough to her.
I was a long shot at best. Usually, my instincts are good, and I’m not gonna start doubting my judgement now.
She passes the fucking Mom test. Hell, she’s practically aced it already.
And not that it matters what my mother thinks, but I know for a fact that Mom would love Serenity.
And she’s right, there are expectations on girls that I’ll never be able to understand in the same way.
There’s more pressure on them. It’s the same reason I worry about River and teenage guys who are total horndogs.
She felt so good in my arms. Better than good. Incredible. Everything about her. Her scent, her soft moans, the way she reacted to my hands. How wet she’d gotten for me. My whole life, I’ve never been so revved up for a girl before.
Eight guys. Shit. Four times my own number. And probability states that at least some of those were good lovers. Irrational insecurity has taken hold of me, more than I’d like to admit.
Man, I’m such a fuck-up. I grab the new phone. I consider all the stuff I wanna say to her, but then I pause, knowing that I need to think about this before I just type in the first thing that jumps into my head. This requires a considered response.
First and foremost… an apology.
A short time after, I’m behind the wheel in the pickup, heading back into Canyon, a heavy sensation in my gut, weighing me down.
The cabin is all locked up. I take it at an easy pace.
The last thing I want is for Ren to think I’m stalking her on the roads, if I were to catch up with her.
I only wish she’d stayed so that I could have asked for her forgiveness.
The lights are all on when I roll into my driveway. I frown at the sight of a shiny, black Buick SUV out on the road in front of the house, a driver waiting in the front with the window rolled down. I look back to the house. Something is off.
When I walk through the door, I freeze. My parents are sitting side by side in the den. Opposite them is Sam Conway. Dad’s back is straight, which it literally never is.
‘Jake!’ Mom squeals and jumps to her feet. ‘Sweetie, where were you? We tried calling.’
To my left, Sam Conway also gets out of her chair, real slow. She’s wearing a navy pant suit.
‘Uhh, I’m sorry… I was hanging out with some of the guys,’ I say.
‘Ms Conway paid us the honor of an unexpected visit,’ Mom says, the light in her eyes dancing.
‘Hello, Jake,’ Sam Conway says, her voice kinda breathy. ‘Please forgive me for dropping in like this.’
‘Not at all,’ I say, but my top lip twitches involuntarily as she shakes me by the hand. ‘I was hoping for a quiet word,’ she says, and my heart sinks, because I know what this is gonna be about.
‘We were all talkin’ about how well you’re doing on the field,’ Mom pitches in.
‘Absolutely,’ Ms Conway says. ‘My father is thrilled. We all are.’
‘All the way to the playoffs,’ Dad says out of support. ‘Then maybe all the way to the Super Bowl.’
‘Let’s not get ahead of ourselves,’ I say as I clear my throat. I need to get this conversation over with. ‘Did you show Ms Conway the back yard?’
‘No,’ Mom says, looking to our guest. ‘Would you like some more lemonade?’
Ms Conway’s lips are pursed together. I’m guessing she didn’t much appreciate the first round.
‘I’m fine, really, you’re too kind,’ she says to my mother, but the smile doesn’t reach her eyes. ‘Why don’t you let Jake show me the yard?’
My parents exchange looks as we turn our backs. They’re not dumb. They know how much power Samantha Conway holds in NFL circles, and how much sway she has over the man who got me drafted.
‘How good of you to bring your family with you to Canyon,’ Sam Conway says to me as we step outside onto the veranda that overlooks the pool.
The air is warm. There are lanterns hanging from the fence that River bought, and the pool lights are on. I swallow. Tonight is not going as planned.
‘They wanted to come,’ I say.
‘They’re incredibly proud of you. And so they should be.’
‘Ms Conway, I don’t mean to sound rude, but I did what you asked. I took Lemon out. Is that why you’re here?’
She inhales, the smile on her face still fixed. ‘You did. And I am most grateful to you.’
I find myself trying to pick out all the parts of her face that have undergone some kind of surgery. It’s hard to place her biological age. I’m guessing she wouldn’t own up to it.
‘Lemon tells me you had a very lovely time. She said you were the perfect gentleman. A man like that is hard to find these days.’
‘I’m sure Lemon will meet a very fine young man one of these days, ma’am. Someone who’ll take good care of her.’
The smile twitches. Her eyes crease a fraction.
‘You’d be surprised… in a place like Canyon.
Jake, I’m not going to waste your time, or mine.
I’d like you to take Lemon out on another date.
I’m reliably informed that there is no other female in your life, and that you haven’t been seen out dating anybody.
You should have no trouble taking my Lemon out on a few more dates. Show my darling girl a good time.’
I knew it. I knew this was coming.
‘Ms Conway,’ I begin, but I’m literally lost for words right now. ‘Look. Lemon is… Lemon is a nice girl. But I don’t… I don’t feel… I don’t have those kinda feelings toward your daughter, ma’am.’
‘Did I say I required you to have feelings for my daughter?’
‘No, ma’am, but—’
‘Then do as I ask. Take my daughter out. Take the time to get to know her.’
I’m grappling with what to say to her. ‘For what purpose, ma’am?’ I question, as my frustration boils over. ‘I don’t understand. I didn’t get the sense that Lemon wanted to spend any time with me.’
‘Oh, she does. She just takes time to… warm up to people. My Lemon can be a shy girl.’
I can’t not say it. ‘And if I say no?’
Her amber eyes flash. She was not expecting those words to come out of my mouth. Any kind of defiance. She lowers her voice. ‘You do know Coach Holland and I are very close, Mr Walsh?’
My breath hitches. What. The. Fuck.
‘Are you… are you threatening me, ma’am?’
‘I believe I am, yes.’
I stand there, my heart slamming in my chest. All I can hear is the lapping of the pool and the breeze going through the palm leaves above the back fence. Her eyes don’t leave mine.
‘Thank you, Jake,’ she says with the same thin-lipped smile. ‘I very much appreciate you keeping my daughter happy. You have a lovely back yard, by the way. Great pool.’
When she’s gone, I avoid my mother practically falling over herself with questions about why Samantha Conway would want to pay me a visit, and head upstairs to my room.
‘Jake?’ a voice says behind me when my hand goes to the door handle.
I pause. ‘Not now, River,’ I respond to my sister, without turning to face her. I feel bad, but right now, I just wanna be by myself.
I close the door behind me and lean the back of my head up against it. Blow out my cheeks. How the hell did I get into this goddamned mess?
The girl I like ran out on me because I thought she was a virgin.
The girl I don’t like – and for reasons I can’t fathom – has her mother hunting me down like a crazy fucking coyote.
I am screwed.
I go to the bed, take out the phone that I planned to use for Serenity. I switch it back on, a little flame of hope in my chest that she’s sent me a message.
Only there’s nothing.
I sit down. My fingers hover over the keys.
I type out a message.
I’m so sorry.
I messed up.
Please forgive me.
After the message has been sent, I’m tempted to write more. To start begging, I guess. I toss the handset because I know it’s not a good look.
For a minute, I hold my head in my hands.
I think of the look on Serenity’s face. It’s replaced with Lemon and her puckered lips, then finally merges into Sam Conway telling me how close she is to Coach Holland.
Shit.
When I first came to Canyon, I did not think that life would turn out to be this complicated.