Chapter Fifteen
Serenity
On the road back into Canyon, on the dash, the fuel light switches on. When I pull into the nearest gas station, I kill the engine. In the driver’s seat, I let out a shaky breath, because it feels like I’ve been holding it since I left the cabin.
I close my eyes.
He thought I was a virgin.
My bottom lip quivers. It won’t stop. I bite down on it, sucking on my own flesh. It felt good to kiss him again. Too darn good.
The worst thing? He’s the kind of guy who makes me wish I could be a virgin again. Because all those other guys I’ve been with, they pale pretty far in comparison. And I wish I could cancel them all out.
I never went with a sweet guy before. A guy who truly cares.
I didn’t go to the cabin with the intention of sleeping with Jake Walsh. I didn’t think we’d go that far. I guess I hoped I’d get to kiss him again, but his kisses got me so worked up.
At Surly’s, when I’m half naked and dancing for a bunch of total strangers, I don’t see it as a sexual thing. Sure, they do, but for me it’s a way to make money and pay off my father’s debt. That’s all it’s ever been for me. A means to an end.
I’ve not been with a man for two years. I wouldn’t say I’ve been starved, but when Jake’s hands were on my body, it was like he flipped a switch.
Half-dressed, with his eyes on my body, it felt like I was on fire.
His mouth was so warm, so welcoming. When his fingers slipped inside my panties, need blossomed in my belly, and everywhere else. I was ready to give myself to him.
He thought you were a virgin, Ren.
God, did it disappoint him that I wasn’t?
Does it even matter? Because there’s no universe in which he can be mine.
At the back of Surly’s, at the door, Jaxon is waiting on me.
‘Go get changed,’ he instructs me. ‘You and I are goin’ on a trip.’
I slow my steps. ‘What do you mean?’
‘I mean, boss wants me to take you somewhere. So go get changed. You’re not needed here tonight.’
I raise my chin. ‘Where you takin’ me?’
Jax rolls his eyes, all impatient. ‘Ren. Come on. We gotta go. Go put your outfit on.’
‘You expect me to just walk outta here in my boots, my panties and a corset?’
‘I got you a coat.’
Twenty minutes later, I’ve reapplied my makeup in a hurry and I’m wearing an emerald and black lace corset with matching panties, my hair tucked underneath a long, lilac-colored wig. Jax wraps a long coat around me and I fasten the buttons before we head on out to the parking lot.
‘You gonna tell me what’s goin’ on?’ I ask, once I’m inside the car.
‘You’re on a job for a private client tonight.’
My stomach rolls over as we pull out of the lot. Shit. I’d bet a million bucks the client is that asshole Brody Conway. I shake my head in disgust. ‘Is it who I think it is?’
‘All I got was the address. We’re heading to the waterfront.’
We stop at some lights. ‘Does he pay me the money?’
‘Client already paid up front.’
‘How much?’
‘Can’t say.’
I let out a gruff sigh because, once again, I won’t see a dime of that money.
‘You’ll add it to my ledger—’
‘Already did.’
‘Thanks, Jax. And the expectation is that I… what?’
‘Client already knows the rules. He can’t touch you. Same as if you were dancing at the club.’
‘And is it…’
‘Yeah,’ he mumbles, and I know he’s referring to Surly’s Rules. He swallows like he doesn’t like it.
‘And where will you be?’
‘Right outside.’
‘And if he violates the rules?’
‘Client knows who you belong to. But if you need me, you holler at the top of your lungs, and I’ll break down the goddamned door.’
‘Thanks, Jax.’
I lapse into silence and watch the light from the streetlamps skim through the interior of the vehicle. I think about running out again on Jake. Wonder where he is now. If he stayed at the cabin.
I should have stayed. Should have listened. I feel guilty seeing Brody Conway again knowing what Jake and I did – or didn’t do – tonight.
When we make it to the waterfront, my body goes tense with dread.
Jax drives into an underground lot. Checking his phone, we take an elevator to the fifteenth floor, my body still wrapped up in a long coat.
I stand behind him, like he’s my protector.
My bodyguard. Except I know all too well that he doesn’t hold a whole lot more power than I do in this situation.
Inside a windowless corridor, outside the condo, Jax rings the doorbell, then stands well back. Moments later, the door opens ajar, but I can’t see who is behind it. I look at Jax who gives me an affirmative nod, and I slip inside.
Brody Conway closes the door behind me. I stand and wait as he comes back round to face me.
‘Good evening, Serenity,’ he says, all calm and casual. He’s wearing grey flannel pants and a fitted black polo. ‘How very nice to see you again. Thank you for coming to my side of town.’ He holds out his arm. ‘Can I take your coat?’
For a moment, I don’t move. I resent being here. I resent Kale McCoy for sending me to this slimeball. The way he smirks at me makes my skin crawl.
I untie the belt on the coat, then unfasten the buttons. Pushing it back over my shoulders, Brody steps forward to take it from me, his gaze purposefully travelling the length of my body.
‘That’s much better. Come on in, can I offer you a drink?’
‘No, thank you,’ is my response. ‘You have thirty minutes.’
He tilts his head to one side, making like he’s disappointed. ‘My, my, we’re very down to business this evening.’
I hug my waist. ‘You’re not paying for my courtesy.’
‘Let me show you the apartment. The view is incredible.’
He leads me through into a substantial living area, then through some sliding glass doors, to a sizeable balcony. I’ve never seen Canyon from this high up before.
I remain standing while Brody sits down on the outdoor love seat, placing both hands behind his head.
‘I wanna see the breeze in your hair,’ he says. ‘Lose the wig, Serenity.’
Changing my hair has always made me feel like a different person.
Like, when I take it off, I’m not a private dancer anymore.
I don’t work in a strip club. I hate that Brody Conway blurs those lines.
Slowly, I reach up and slide the lilac wig from my head.
I take out the bobby pins and let my real hair fall about my shoulders.
‘Much better,’ he says, then pats the seat next to him. ‘Come,’ he adds. ‘Siddown by me.’
I do as I’m told. I wonder if his new wife knows about this apartment. If it even belongs to him, with its fancy Asian artwork and expensive furniture. I can feel Brody’s eyes on me. He pushes my hair to one side and brings his nose close to my skin.
‘You smell so good,’ he whispers.
His fingers are on my thigh, stroking my skin, edging close to the hemline of my panties.
‘You are exquisite, Serenity. I can’t wait for you to undress for me.’
I push away his fingers. ‘Then come to the club. I don’t do private home visits.’
‘Oh, I think you do. Your boss says you do. I bought you something special to wear just for me. So that I can watch you take it all off.’
‘Does your wife know I’m here?’
Before I know it, his hand has grabbed my chin, those creepy long fingers digging into my jaw, turning my head. ‘Don’t you fucking bring my wife’s name into this.’
Every muscle in my body has gone taut. His grip doesn’t loosen, but his voice goes back to being smooth like silk. ‘Now be a good girl and go get changed for me. You’ll find your outfit in the bedroom.’
I pull away from him, get to my feet and rub my jaw, my galloping heart slamming into my ribcage. I need to be careful here.
I walk back through the apartment to the bedrooms. My body is tense.
I’d rather dance naked in front of strangers than satisfy Brody Conway’s needs for another moment.
On one of the beds, laid out flat, is a set of red lingerie, sheer lace stockings and a suspender belt, red pumps and a choker chain.
My jaw goes slack. I check the label. It’s a high-end brand of underwear.
When I’m dressed, I look at my reflection in the wall-length mirror.
Presumably he accessed my staff record to get my measurements – in the same way he’d gotten my phone number – and everything fits like a glove.
I think of Jake, how he’d react to seeing me dressed like this, and I feel shame in my actions.
A girl like me doesn’t deserve a guy like him.
I make my way back through the apartment. In the living area, Brody is relaxed on the couch. The drapes are now closed.
‘Wait, wait,’ he says as I approach. ‘Walk slow.’
I adjust my pace, my heels hitting the marble floor. I feel Brody’s eyes roaming over my body. He exhales, long and slow. ‘What did I say? Exquisite.’
My expression reveals my true feelings.
‘Come on now, Serenity. You can’t raise a little smile for me?’
‘You’re running out of time,’ I warn him.
He’s drinking whiskey on the rocks. The glass is balanced on his knee and he’s manspreading. The lights are turned down and he’s put out a simple wooden chair in the center of the room, which I presume is my stage.
‘Kale tells me this is your specialty,’ he comments.
‘Are you gonna give me some music?’
‘Give me a twirl first,’ he says, and I note that he sucks his breath when I show him my almost bare ass.
‘You know,’ he muses. ‘If you didn’t belong to Kale, I’d make you mine, princess.’
‘I’m not your princess. And I’d rather we get this over with.’
His eyes flash at me givin’ him lip. ‘My little cheerleader then.’
I finish my turn and face him. He’s fired a warning shot.
‘Now let’s not be unpleasant,’ he warns me. ‘I paid for a good ol’ fashioned strip tease. So… let’s take it all off, shall we?’
No sooner does he switch on some upbeat music, my eyes glaze over. I remind myself that he’s just another redneck who takes pleasure from watching a pretty girl remove her clothes. I can dance for the man, keep him happy. I can show him my body, and he can look all he likes.
But he can’t touch me. He doesn’t get to have me. And I’ll never give myself to him.