18. Calvin
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
calvin
“Where the hell were you last night?” My brother bumps into me in the kitchen, just as I was grabbing my breakfast burrito and trying to haul ass out of the house before I had to see anyone. But of course, he’s here.
He’s pouring a mug of coffee, his eyes trained on me.
I can’t answer him honestly. There’s no way in hell I’m doing that, even if a part of me would love to. I’d love to tell him that I spent the whole evening with . . . my . . . um . . . Seriously?
I can’t even think the title.
Boyfriend!
Damn it. He’s my boyfriend. Or at least that’s what I’m calling him. I didn’t really get confirmation of that, but he’s as close to as a boyfriend as I might ever get, so that’s what I’m calling him.
Anyway, I’d love to tell my nosey big brother I spent the evening kissing my boyfriend. And throwing rocks into the lake with him. And then kissing some more. We didn’t really talk much, but a little—mostly about football and the game coming up this Friday.
It’s an away game, and he asked if I’d sit with him on the bus. I told him yes immediately, despite knowing that sitting that close to him is going to be too tempting for me.
I still said yes.
I’m a little concerned I can’t tell the guy no.
“Hey, what the hell is wrong with you?” I blink over at Curtis, his face all red and angry. Mad that I didn’t acknowledge him. “I said where were you last night? You missed dinner.”
I shrug, not really wanting to put up with his bullshit today. I got a really good night’s sleep last night. The first in a long time. Coming my brains out with Jonah probably helped, but I don’t know. I just felt . . . free. In a way that I haven’t, maybe ever in my life.
I don’t like the idea of Jonah being my secret, but a selfish part of me just likes having something for me. Just me. Something real. Something good.
“None of your business,” I say, putting the burrito into my mouth and chomping down as I grab my backpack and head for the door. Curtis, of course, can’t let that go, and just as I reach the door to pull it open, he slams it shut and crowds me.
“Really? What the fuck has gotten into you? You’re never home.”
“Why do you care?” I ask him, not backing down like I normally would. Hell, I’m bigger than he is, but he’ll always be my big brother—the guy who has given me hell since I was a toddler. Always taking my shit and bossing me around.
“Because it is my business. Where were you?” he asks, suspicion dripping from his tone. It pisses me off. He doesn’t know.
I know he doesn’t. If he even suspected what I was up to last night, he wouldn’t just be talking right now.
“I was busy.”
“Got yourself a girlfriend, little brother? Fucking finally.”
I roll my eyes, and my gut clenches tight, thinking about saying yes, just to get him to leave me alone. But I can’t do it. I can’t do that to Jonah. It oddly feels like cheating. Saying I was with anyone but him last night. “I was just hanging out with a friend.”
“You don’t have friends.”
“I do now,” I say and then with one hand, shove him backward. “Now move. I’m going to be late for school.”
I squeeze out the door and walk briskly to my truck like a coward. I despise it, but whatever, at least I got away from him. For now.
When I get to school, my chest feels like it might explode—but in a good way—when I see Jonah standing by his locker, chatting away with Billy. I think they may be friends now. Of course they are.
Jonah is pretty much friends with everyone, and Billy seems like a good guy. “Hey, Calvin,” Billy says as I approach them.
Jonah gives me a sultry smile, one that probably doesn’t look weird to anyone else, but I don’t know how it couldn’t. To me, it looks downright filthy. “Good night?”
“Pretty good,” I say, actually nonchalant and opening my locker, trying to hide my smile.
“Wanna hang out after school?” It sounds innocent enough, but I’m still tense, looking around to see if anyone else is listening.
“What are you guys planning to do?” Billy asks, and I know it’s innocent. He’s just curious, but my hackles rise, and my nerves tick up all the same as I look over at Jonah—who’s not panicking.
“I was thinking Fortnite,” he says easily, but my breathing is not controlled. It’s too fast, and my palms are sweating like crazy.
“Oh awesome!” Billy says. “I’m in!”
“What?” I turn to him, startled. Jonah just snickers, like he thinks this is funny.
“Uh . . .” Billy looks at me nervously. “I mean if you all wanted to just hang out, that’s cool. My mom says it’s rude to invite yourself along to things.”
I stare at him dumbly, but Jonah is on it. “Of course you can come. The more the merrier.” He slaps Billy on the back. “After practice.”
“Okay, cool.” Billy seems genuinely excited, and I guess, it makes sense to invite him.
Looks less suspicious that way, but I can’t help but be a little bummed.
I only get eight more months with Jonah before we graduate and he goes off to some college to start his life—and damn it, I just want to take advantage of every single second of it.
Billy bounces off down the hall, and I turn back to my locker, annoyed, but not sure if I’m even allowed to be. “Relax,” I hear Jonah’s sweet voice. “I think Billy could be a really good friend. He’s nice.”
I don’t look at him. “Nice?”
“Yeah.” I hear the laughter in Jonah’s voice. “Besides the guy has the attention span of a fly. I don’t see him hanging out too long. Then it’ll be just us.”
I turn to him now, eating up his wide grin but then nervously checking the halls for anyone else. It doesn’t seem to bother him. “Okay,” I say quietly.
“See ya,” he says with a bright smile, and God, I want to kiss him. I resist, of course, but it’s a long fucking day of resisting.
Every time I see him, I want to pull him to me and claim his lips. By the end of practice, I’m contemplating tackling Billy so hard, he’ll feel it for a week and won’t be able to come over to Jonah’s house.
Which yes, I know is fucked-up, but I really don’t care.
All I can seem to care about is getting to touch Jonah. This is becoming a problem.
Of course, I don’t wind up maiming Billy, and we all drive over to Jonah’s house after practice. Jenna is, of course, thrilled that Jonah brought home yet another friend and insists on making us snacks while we head into Jonah’s room to play a game.
“Man, I can’t believe I’m in Coach’s house,” Billy says, plopping down on the bed, bouncing on it like he owns the thing. The guy is like pure sunshine.
Jonah laughs. “You know he’s just a guy, right?”
“No way,” he says, “He’s Coach. He’s like a god.”
Jonah fake-gags. “Oh my God, never let him hear you say that. And you’re going to be the quarterback someday. Everyone knows that’s the god position.”
I snort. “Sure. Keep telling yourself that.”
“Oh right,” Jonah says, looking over at me as he gets the game going. “Left tackle holds that position?”
He’s teasing, taunting me, and trying to get me all fired up. It almost works, my dick starting to respond, but then I remember Billy is here. Just watching us as he holds eye contact and taunts me. “Fuck you,” I say dismissively but keeping it playful.
Jonah just cackles, and we actually have good time playing Fortnite with Billy. Jonah was right, though. Billy gets bored fast and heads home after only an hour, leaving us blissfully alone.
After saying goodbye, Jonah walks back into his room, where I’m waiting on the bed. I hear the click of the lock and swallow hard, knowing what’s coming. I can’t wait.
He walks over to me, between my legs. I grip his ass in my hands and breathe him in.
My hands roam upward, under his shirt, feeling his soft skin.
His back muscles move under my touch. He’s pushing against my chest, his body about to fall into mine when there’s a knock on the door followed by Jenna’s sweet voice. “Boys! Dinner’s ready.”
“Fuck. Me,” I say and Jonah leans in, kissing my lips softly.
“I mean, any time.”
I shove him playfully but have to admit I don’t hate that idea. I want all the things with him. We have a lot to do in a little time. “I should go.”
His face falls, and I hate it. I hate it with everything I am. “I was just kidding . . .”
I stand up, forcing him to stand too before I grip his chin gently, holding eye contact. “I wasn’t.” I let go of him, my hands sliding down over his hips and then his ass. “I want you to fuck me. I want to fuck you, if you’re into that.” I lean in. “I want everything.”
I actually can hear him swallow in an audible gulp, and I let myself smile. “Uhhh . . .” he stutters. “I want that too.”
I grin and then press a quick kiss on his lips. “I just need to have dinner at my house. My brother is getting suspicious.”
“Oh.” He looks worried, and I hate that.
“It’s fine. I just probably need to be home tonight and tomorrow, but . . .” I can’t resist kissing him again, and it lingers for a little longer than I meant it to. When I finally pull back, we’re both a little breathless. “The game. Friday. After the game. I think I want to go to a party.”
“Oh yeah?” he breathes.
“Well, at least that’s what I’m going to tell my parents.”
His smile is bright and beautiful.
“Okay, it’s a date then.”
I kiss him again, faster this time and then regretfully tell Jenna I can’t stay for dinner before going home and suffering through dinner with my family.
Would it be so bad to give this up? I can’t stand them. Their judgment. They’re all I have, but at this point, maybe that’s not true.
I think about Jonah and his sweet, sure smile.
I do have him now. But he’s going on to much bigger things, and what will that leave me with then?