23. Jonah
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
jonah
“You two going camping after the game?” I stop at the sound of my brother’s voice. I can’t completely make out his tone.
Is he upset about that? Amused? I don’t know until I turn around to face him, in full uniform and holding my helmet.
Everyone else is still getting dressed for the game, and my brother wanted to talk to me before the game, so I went into his office.
I was going to close the door when he asked that question.
His face tells me he’s amused but maybe a little concerned.
I go ahead and close the door before taking a seat. “Is that okay?”
“You’re eighteen. I’m not going to tell you what to do.” He says it with no malice. It doesn’t sound like he’s upset, but I’m not sure why he’s asking this now.
Calvin and I have been dating for months now. Sneaking around still, pretty much. But he does give me a kiss goodbye almost every time. Micah sees it. I know he knows there’s something pretty serious between us.
So he waits to say anything until right before the last playoff game that, if we win, will send us to the state championship? I’m not sure what the hell he’s thinking.
Everything has gone fine. They haven’t said a word about it, just winking and smirking at me, which has been fine.
No one at school knows a damn thing because we’re careful.
Do I want to be? Not all the time. But I respect him enough to make sure no one—not even Billy, who I think of as a legit friend—knows about us.
“But you don’t want me to go?” I ask carefully.
He just smiles slightly and sighs. “It’s going to be ten degrees tonight. Ten. It’s freezing. I just don’t want you guys out there in a tent.
Not going to lie, last weekend, I nearly froze my balls off, and I really like my balls. I was not happy about that. We climbed into his truck a few times and blasted the heater to get warm, but it was kind of miserable after the sex. The sex was great. It’s always downright fucking fantastic.
But yeah . . . the balls-freezing part sucked.
“Uh . . .” I start, unsure what to say. Surely it wouldn’t be cool to say well, I really want to fuck my boyfriend, and he’s too paranoid to do that at your house, so I’m willing to lose a ball or two if I have to. So I just stop talking.
He huffs and stands up from his desk, walking over to me and keeping his voice low. “Just stay at the house. Your boyfriend can sleep in your bed. We don’t care.”
Holy shit. Okay. We’re just diving right into it, huh? “Uh . . .” I say dumbly again, and he raises a brow. “Calvin is um . . .”
“Shy?” he asks with a teasing glint.
I roll my eyes. “Sure. Let’s say shy.”
“He knows though, right? That Jenna and I think it’s great.”
Emotions are definitely getting to me now, clogging up my throat. “Uh, yeah. I try to tell him that, but you know.”
Please just know because I don’t know how much I can tell him without betraying my boyfriend, and I absolutely don’t want to do that. He nods. “Tell him I said no more camping until the spring at least. He’s welcome at the house anytime, okay? I can tell him that . . .”
“No,” I say because I think Calvin would actually burst into flames. “I’ll tell him.”
“Okay.” He smiles and pats me on the shoulder. “Now let’s go out there and get on the road to State.”
I grin cockily at that because I’ve got this. Even if it’s up against the Kensley Panthers, and with Ty Easton, they’re pretty good. But they don’t have me, and they don’t have Calvin.
We’re unstoppable together.
And we dominate the first half.
The second is when it all falls apart. And it’s not because of Ty Easton or Kensley. It’s because right as we get set, Adler has to open his fucking mouth. “Don’t fuck this up, Duke. You’ve been playing shit ever since you popped your cherry with your boyfriend there.”
Oh fuck. I turn my head to look at Calvin, hoping like hell now is not the time he takes the bait.
I don’t know how Adler knows that, or even if he does—I bet it was just a lucky guess—but I know without a doubt when the whistle blows to start the play and the snap reaches me, Adler’s goal hit a direct target.
A huge Kensley defenseman hits me and hits me hard. I go down, still clutching the ball. Fuck my life. That hurt.
I can barely move, and the whistle blows again to stop the play, the two Kensley players who hit me climb up and bounce off happily while I lie there. “Shit.” Calvin drops down next to me. “Fuck. I’m so sorry. Goddammit.”
“I’m fine,” I croak. “It was Adler’s fault anyway. What the fuck is wrong with you?” I ask, looking up at the ugly fucker.
He just shrugs passively like he didn’t just set us back in the game. “What? I was just making sure his head was in it.”
“No, you weren’t.” Calvin stands up, and uh-oh. No. I stand up too, my body sore, but thankfully, my head is just fine. It didn’t take the hit.
“ Calvin, don’t,” I warn because yay for standing up for yourself, but not now.
“You just can’t shut your mouth ever, Adler.”
“Was what he said untrue?” Shields, of fucking course, has to chime in.
“Nope,” Calvin says, and holy. Shit. Did he just . . . ? “I’m gay, and you all fucking know it,” he says, his eyes sweeping over the offensive line. “And it’s none of your business.”
“I knew it,” Adler sneers. “You’re fucking our quarterback, and you think that’s okay? That you can get by with this?”
I can hear Micah shouting from the sidelines to get our asses ready for the next play, but we’re all at a standstill. “Get by with what? How exactly does this affect you?” Calvin asks, standing toe-to-toe with him. And honestly . . . hot. But again, not now.
“It’s disgusting. You’re fucking trash,” Adler says, stepping even closer, and now, I’m in this because he better back the hell up. “You’re a fucking . . .”
He doesn’t get whatever vile word he was about to say out because Calvin tackles him, knocking both of their helmets off in the tussle. Oh. Shit.
They roll around, Calvin landing some harsh punches to Adler’s face before Shields moves to pull them apart but winds up getting punched too. Then all hell breaks loose. Billy jumps in, and so do I. Then some other guys.
Fists flying. Helmets off. Blood all over the place. It’s chaos.
I’m furious. At so many things right now, and I just want to finally give these fuckers what they deserve. I get a hard punch to the nose, not breaking it, I don’t think, but I’m bleeding for sure. I nail Shields right in the eye with my whole fist and body weight behind it.
The whistles are blowing. Coaches and refs everywhere, trying to pry us all apart.
The game is called. We forfeit to the Kensley Panthers, and our chances of going to State are blown.
I wish I could say I care, but sitting in the locker room, half undressed I look over at Shields and Adler’s broken, swollen faces, and I feel nothing but satisfaction as I wipe the blood from my nose with the back of my hand.
“What the hell was that about?” Micah’s loud voice booms through the silent locker room. Okay, maybe now I care a little.
I just fucked up his state chances.
No one says a word.
“You disqualify yourselves from state, and none of you have anything to say?”
He has the right to be mad. He does. And so do the other coaches, but I’m mad right now too. I’m really fucking mad when I look to my left and see Calvin, his eyes sad and full of shame.
Probably horrified that his family is going to find out. Horrified that he told his truth. That his coach is mad at him right now, and that’s so not okay.
“We wouldn’t have gotten to this point if you didn’t allow shitheads to bully a teammate for a year,” I bite out, and Micah zones in on me, walking over with furious eyes.
“What did you just say to me?”
“You heard me,” I say it fairly quietly, but I know everyone else can hear it too.
“It’s not his fault,” Calvin says. “This was all me.”
“No, it wasn’t,” I say firmly as I look at Calvin. His lip is split, and his hair is a mess, but otherwise, he doesn’t look too bad after the fight. I look up at Micah. “You know it’s true.”
“What was I supposed to do. I didn’t witness anything.”
“Bullshit,” I say, looking over at Adler and Shields with fury. “You saw. You had to have. If I did, you did.”
Micah actually looks a little ashamed. “They shut up when I’m near.” He looks over at Calvin. “I begged you to talk to me.”
“I’m sorry, Coach,” Calvin says but no, we are not doing this.
“Don’t be sorry. This is not your fault,” I say clearly and then look at Micah. “Maybe your hands were tied with not actually witnessing it and Calvin not making some sort of formal report, but you know everyone has a breaking point.”
“He fucking attacked me,” Adler says, playing the victim, and I’m about to lay his ass out again when Micah gets in between us and marches over to him.
“You cost us this game. You can’t pull your head out of your ass for one minute and look past the hatred you were no doubt taught from day one in this town to play the game with your team. And now, it’s over.”
Adler looks at him, disgusted. “Did you know about them coach? Sucking each other off after games.”
“Watch. Your. Mouth,” Micah says, and okay, even I sit down now after that chilling delivery. Guess Micah can be a little intimidating.
“Whatever. Like you said, it’s over. You’re not my coach now.” He rips his jersey off and hastily gets dressed before all of us do the same in total, defeated silence.
Everyone leaves with their heads hanging down until it’s just Micah, Calvin, and me. “You two need ice,” Micah says, but I stop him when he goes to find the ice packs.
“I’m sorry about losing the game. But I’m not sorry Adler and Shields got what was coming to them,” I say.
“You think it will change anything?” Micah asks and waits for my answer.
My gut sinks because no. No, I don’t. A bully is a bully. People rarely change. “They’re assholes always, but at least they got some of the pain back.”
Micah looks sad as he turns to Calvin. “I am really sorry I didn’t do anything.”
“What could you have done?” Calvin asks seriously. “I wouldn’t tell you what they did, and technically, they never really hurt me or put their hands on me.”
I beg to differ I’ve seen them shoulder-check him into a wall several times, but I keep quiet.
“I should have done more,” Micah says solemnly. “Adults have that responsibility at a school. I should have done more, and I hope you can forgive me.”
Calvin’s eyes grow huge as he looks up at my brother, still perched on the bench next to me. “
“I’m the one who just got us eliminated from the playoffs.”
And the next sentence reminds me why I love my brother so much. “Fuck the playoffs. This is more important.” He reaches out his hand in offering to Calvin, who shakes it hesitantly, like he’s still waiting for the verbal ass kicking.
But it never comes because I know Micah. I know he feels responsible, and maybe I feel a little guilty for that, but it was time.
“We should go home. We have ice packs there.”
“Uh . . .” Calvin starts and then looks to me.
“Oh, um, Micah said no camping tonight. It’s too cold.” He looks disappointed but understanding.
“Okay, yeah.” He stands up, and his body is definitely stiff, one of the fuckers hit him pretty hard in the ribs.
“I should probably go face my parents anyway. Though, I might be sleeping out in the cold anyway.” He tries to joke, but I stand up too, ready to speak my mind, but it’s Micah who talks first.
He places both hands on Calvin’s bigass shoulders and looks him in the eyes. “If they do anything to you, and I mean anything, you call me or you call the police. Anytime. You do not have to take their abuse, you hear me? And you will never sleep out in the cold. You come to me anytime. Okay?”
He cocks his head to the side and studies my brother cautiously, like he’s not sure this is real. “Okay.”
“Okay,” Micah says, releasing him but patting him on the shoulder. “And I said that you can’t camp out together tonight because it’s too cold, but I also said you are welcome to stay the night in Jonah’s room.”
“Oh,” Calvin says, his jaw dropping a little, and then I see that cute blush there. “We um . . . that’s your house.”
“It’s Jonah’s home too, and if you need it, it’s yours too. Don’t act like Jenna hasn’t already adopted you,” he teases.
“Ew. Gross. I don’t want to be related to my boyfriend,” I say, and to my surprise Calvin actually laughs at that.
“Come on. Let’s go. Jenna said something about hot chocolate,” Micah says as we grab our bags and limp out to the parking lot.
Things are going to be different, for sure.
A lot has changed in the span of just one football game.
But I also feel like it’s going to be okay somehow.
Not sure I can convince Calvin of that, but I’m going to try.