24. Calvin
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
calvin
Jenna did have hot chocolate waiting for us when we got back to the house. She also had ice packs and antibiotic cream waiting for us too.
She saw the fight and probably would have rushed down there to doctor us all up if she didn’t have the girls. Luckily, she drove them separately tonight, so she didn’t have to wait around for Coach.
Shame washes over me as she doctors my face, hissing when the cream comes in contact with my split lip, but I try to hide the pain. She, of course, doesn’t miss it and soothes a hand over my hair. “You did good, kiddo.”
My mouth falls open in shock as I stare at her. “What?”
I hear Jonah and Micah snicker from somewhere beside us, but Jenna doesn’t pay them any attention. “I couldn’t hear what those little shitheads said, but I guarantee you gave them what they were begging for.”
I don’t know about that. I shouldn’t have gone off like I did. But I snapped. This last year has been hell. And all I wanted was a little bit of normalcy. Spending time with the person I love . . . and I do love him.
I haven’t been able to say it out loud yet, and until tonight, I hadn’t been able to actually say the word gay, but it doesn’t make it any less true. Just like me not saying gay didn’t make me any less gay.
“I ruined State,” I say, shame dripping from my words.
She cups my cheek in her tiny, delicate hand. “Fuck State.” It’s strange to hear Jenna curse so much. So strange, it startles me a little.
Coach, though, must be a little more used to it because he comes over and holds up a hand in the air for his wife. “That’s what I said.”
She high-fives him with a big smile and then looks back to me. “I know this is shocking, but there are more important things in life than football.”
“Gasp!” Jonah says, taking the seat next to me at the island. “That’s blasphemy.”
Jenna just laughs. “I know. It hurt to say.” Then she looks me right in the eyes. “But it’s true.”
I look over at Coach, who still looks a little worn out from the night but not nearly as pissed off as he was at the game. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. Like I said, I’m sorry.” He wraps his arm around Jenna. “We’re going to bed. Don’t stay up too late.”
He winks at us and then they walk down the hallway to their room, closing the door behind them. I look over at Jonah, still unsure about this.
The thought of going home and being grilled about what exactly happened at the game, though, is just not an option if they’re going to let me stay here. “I should probably take the couch.”
Even though Coach specifically said I could sleep in Jonah’s room. I don’t know if that’s the best idea.
Of course, Jonah has other ideas. “Not a chance.” He takes my hand and two ice packs, pulling me to his room. I go willingly and sit on the bed while he closes and locks the door before turning back to me.
“We don’t have to do anything tonight, but I want to sleep next you.”
I smile, kind of. My lip really fucking hurts. He pulls his shirt off and then drops his jeans but leaves his underwear on before approaching me. He stands between my legs as I sit on the bed, and I wrap my arms around his waist, just breathing him in.
He lets me hold him for a while before tossing the ice packs on the bed next to me and reaching for my shirt. He helps me out of it, and I only wince a few times when I move my sore, bruised ribs, and then he helps me out of my pants.
We’ve undressed each other many times, but this time just feels different. Weighted. Raw. I don’t think either of us is actually in the mood for sex, but intimacy seems to be what we’re both craving right now.
He turns off the light, and we climb under the covers together, his little spoon to my big as we lie on our sides with ice packs pressed against our faces. “I can’t believe I blew State for us,” I say quietly next to his ear.
He turns just slightly, so he’s looking my way even though the room is dark. “Did you really care all that much about the title?”
“No,” I say easily because even though it would have been kind of cool to go to State my senior year, it wasn’t that big of deal to me. I just like to play the game. Trophies don’t really matter to me. “I wanted that for you though.”
He scoffs and rolls back over. “Been there. Done that.”
I chuckle. “Cocky motherfucker,” I tease.
He laughs too, and then we’re both silent while I hold him. I almost think he’s asleep until he speaks, “Your parents . . . they were at the game?”
I nod, still holding onto him. “I’m sure they were. And there will be a lot of questions.”
He’s silent again for a while, and I let him think about what he wants to ask. I know there’s more bugging him. “Are you going to tell them the truth?”
I wish I could instantly say yes. I mean, it’s probably only a matter of time before it gets out to someone. I said it out loud. It’s going to get talked about. How they didn’t already hear something, I don’t know. But I would have known if they did.
I know I’m going to hear about it soon, so I should just man up and tell them. “I don’t know,” I say honestly.
He doesn’t argue or tell me that it’s stupid not to. I feel him nod. “You know you don’t have to, right? Not for me or anyone else. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. If you deny it at school, I’ll back you up.”
I hate that. I also hate that part of me wants that. To just hide. To pull it all back, even though I know this time, it won’t work. “I don’t want to do that.”
“But you can. It’s up to you and no one else.” I hear the protectiveness in his tone. I’ve never had that before him. No one has ever really watched out for me.
“I won’t do that,” I say firmly because I owe him that much.
All this sneaking around. All this making sure that no one is paying too much attention.
I don’t want to do that to him anymore. I want to be able to hold his hand in the halls like all the other couples.
I want to give him what he deserves, even if it’s for just a little while before he goes off to do great things.
“What are your plans for after school?” he asks quietly.
I don’t know if his eyes are closed or if he just looking away from me, but I know that I can’t feel those eyes.
I would feel it if they were. And to me, that just means that he’s wanted to ask this for a long time but hasn’t allowed himself to.
“Depending on what happens after tonight’s game, the plan has always been to work for Duke Drilling. The family business. There are no other options.”
“But you could . . .” He stops himself, and even though I’m pretty sure I know what he’s going to say, and I can’t—I still want to hear it from him.
“I could what?” I ask against his ear, my body melting into his as the weight of the game starts to become heavier and heavier.
“You could go to Manhattan City University with me. I have a scholarship and a full ride to play on their football team.”
I smile and kiss his neck right below his ear. “Yeah. I don’t think college is in the cards for me.”
“Why not?” he asks abruptly, looking over his shoulder at me. “They would kill for a left tackle like you on the team.”
“Yeah, but my grades are shit. I don’t even know how the hell I’m set for graduation.” I am though. The counselor has told me that as long as I don’t fail math—which I have a solid C in, I’m golden.
“I’m sure they’d work around it. Somehow. They’d love to have you, and especially if their new star quarterback says we’re a package deal.”
I smile now, loving the sound of that. But immediately arguing because I can’t get lost in the fantasy. “There’s no way I’d let you do that for me. This is your path. Mine has been set in stone since birth.”
He looks away from me again but doesn’t pull away from me. If anything, he scoots back even more, letting his ass rest against my now semi-hard dick and teasing me a little bit, wiggling against me.
I wonder what it would be like to slide inside of his tight heat. To be surrounded by him fully. I wrap my arms around him tighter, holding his body to mine.
“Think about it,” he says easily. “Micah could put in the good word for you too.”
I drag my lips over the side of his neck, wincing a little at the contact because I forgot about my lip, but pushing through the pain because he smells so good. He feels so good.
I think he’s done talking too because he’s started breathing heavier, pushing his ass back against my now rock-hard dick, sliding along it and making me leak through my underwear.
“Okay, enough talking,” he says, breathless.
“What do you have in mind?” I ask as I kiss the side of his neck and thrust my cock in between his fabric-covered ass. The material is soft and feels good but not as good as I know his bare skin would feel.
“I want you inside me.” His hands go to my arm that’s wrapped around his chest, squeezing gently and holding me tight to him. “Just like this.”
My breath catches. I know we were getting close to this. He’s hinted at it a lot lately, but still, my nerves kick in.
“I don’t want to hurt you.”
“Oh, you’re going to hurt me.” His tone is teasing as he turns enough to be looking at me. I can feel those eyes on me now. “But I’m going to fucking love it.”
I lick my lips hungrily and lean forward to kiss him hard. “Grab the lube,” I growl against his lips.
This is happening.