Chapter 23
Dane
“I’ll tell you what. I think I had a crash course on four-year-olds this week,” I say over a mouthful of food.
I was starving after practice and had stopped in at Louie’s for takeaway, picking up some soup and a turkey sandwich for Halle in the hopes she would be hungry and up to eating.
And I was worried she might need something, so I wanted to swing by to check on her anyway.
“I didn’t know what I didn’t know, ya know?
” I took another bite of my toasted club sandwich.
She laughs and nods. “Oh, I know all right.”
“She’s a chatterbox, that one. I can’t imagine who she gets that from.” I give Halle a pointed look.
From the other end of the couch where she sits, she lifts a brow of disagreement, a smile turning up at the corners of her mouth.
I could tell by the glow of her fresh-faced smile when I walked in the door, and the damp strands of hair braided through her thick auburn hair that she’d taken a shower while I was gone.
She also is dressed casually in a pair of black leggings that hug all those new and generous curves of hers, and a light gray sweatshirt that gives the barest hint of her shoulder.
My fingers twitch to run over the smooth slope of skin, and I kind of miss the T-shirt and panties.
Being in Halle’s presence without a small kid close by is an unusual place to find myself. It’s also confusing to be on a couch with a beautiful woman and not try to make the moves to get her naked.
While Halle and I know each other intimately, the space between us is cluttered with so much of the past, I don’t know how I should act around her now. What I would’ve done on this couch with her five years ago is a completely different vibe than now.
Plus, we have things left to resolve.
“Lenni is a master storyteller,”she agrees, bringing the spoon to her mouth as I stare at her lips. She looks up from her spoon, and our eyes connect. She quirks a brow. “What else did you learn?”
I wipe a napkin over the cleft in my chin, worried I have mustard stuck in my beard, and consider her question.
“Well, she’s pretty opinionated and kind of a know-it-all.” My lips curl upward at the corners. “She obviously got that trait from you.”
The sound of Halle’s laughter bouncing around the room is a gift from the universe and lights me up from head to toe. It’ll remain on my life soundtrack for as long as I live.
“You are so full of shit,” she argues, tossing her balled-up napkin at me. “I’m not opinionated in the slightest.”
“That’s exactly what you would say.” I blow a raspberry and then snap my fingers.
“Oh, and another thing. Lenni is stubborn as a goat. And I don’t mean the greatest of all time.
That kid dug her heels in yesterday morning until I made pancakes.
” I make a face, tightening my lips together.
“I didn’t realize kids that age could have such meltdowns and use them to negotiate. She got her pancakes.”
Another laugh and the corners of her eyes crinkle, eyes sparkling with amusement. “Yeah, kids that age are learning to express themselves and don’t have a grasp on their emotions quite yet. So, the big feelings often come out in a tantrum.”
I chuckle. “I know a few hockey players who do that, too.”
She smiles and brings her glass of juice to her lips, taking a dainty sip.
I watch the movement of her delicate throat as she swallows.
When she tilts her head back, I turn away.
It’s sensory overload to be on this couch with her, to watch her laugh and listen to her speak but be unable to touch her the way I want.
Not the way I used to. If I’m not careful, it might just be me having a tantrum if I don’t put some distance between us. I reach forward and set my empty plate on the sofa table, covertly adjusting myself in my pants.
It’s good to see that Halle is feeling better and seems to have regained her strength.
The fact that she soon won’t need me to stick around bums me out.
I didn’t know how much I’d enjoy being the guy who can be counted on to take care of things.
I’d never envisioned myself in the role of caretaker or what it would be like to be in dad mode.
But hanging out and playing with Lenni was an eye-opening experience for me. It was fun and challenging, and gave me a deeper respect for Halle. For parents in general.
And spending this time with her—just sitting together and enjoying the easy companionship we have—makes me realize how much I’ve missed it. How much I’ve missed her. The conversation and teasing banter have flowed as if we’ve never been apart.
Since Halle’s reappearance in my life, I’ve been reminiscing a lot about our past. To others, it may have been barely enough time to get to know someone, but a connection was forged back then, and we’ve picked up where we left off.
It sounds so cliché to say out loud, but maybe it’s a cosmic soulmate thing or some crazy shit like that.
I may not believe in that stuff, but I do know that Halle does something to me that no other woman has ever done. She stirs me from the inside out—lights my soul on fire, like the flames of a torch—and makes me want more.
That desire is more than physical attraction, but it’s a strong urge I have to fight every time she’s close. When we were together in the past, my hands were always touching her. Holding hands, kissing her neck, stroking her back, nipping my lips over her skin.
When it comes to Halle, it’s as if we are bound by a tether that stretched and pulled but never broke.
Is it possible that strong feelings like I had for her don’t ever fully disappear? They just resurface bigger than before?
“So, besides this bout with the flu, how are you both adjusting to life in Vancouver?” I ask, throwing an arm on the back of the couch, resisting the urge to run a hand over the braid that’s inches from my fingers.
I clutch the cushion with a firm grasp to keep myself from stroking her silky auburn locks.
Halle pauses for a moment, the deep groove lines between her brows pinching together as she considers my question. When our eyes meet, hers glisten with tears. A droplet hangs on her lashes, and I reach out and swipe it away with my thumb before it can drop.
She blinks and then sniffles. I grab a tissue from the box and hand it to her as tears gush from the corners of her eyes. “I’m not going to lie. It’s been so hard.”
“Oh, baby, don’t do that to yourself.” I wrap my arm around her shoulders, pulling her into my body and tucking her into my chest. Her slight body is racked with sobs. “Shh. It’s okay. You’re going to be okay. I promise.”
She quiets after a few moments as I continue to rub small circles over her back, consoling her the only way I know how.
“It’s stupid, because she’s been gone so long, but there are times it hurts so bad that I can’t call my mother to ask her advice.
” Her voice is mournful and it breaks my heart.
If there was something I could do to fix it, I would.
“It makes me feel guilty, too, like I’m betraying my dad by wanting her.
He’s done so much for us, but it’s not the same as having a mom. ”
I glide a hand over her head in calming strokes. Halle’s situation is way outside my knowledge base, and honestly, I don’t know if giving my opinion will make it better or worse. So, I listen and comfort as she talks.
“It’s going on nearly ten years, but I miss here every day. There are times—so many times—when I don’t know what I’m doing, and another mother would help. Not having that in my life right now… it’s so lonely.” Her shoulders rise and fall in jerky movements as she hiccups through the words.
Halle remains cocooned in my embrace for several minutes as I try to come up with something brilliant to say in response.
“You can always call my mom,” I offer, tipping my head down so I can see her face. “I bet she’d love to give you advice. She’s always trying to tell me what to do.”
A loud snort belts out from Halle’s lungs, and she presses her palms against my chest, pushing herself upright.
“Right. I’m sure she’d totally be open to hearing from some random stranger about dealing with raising a kid, especially how to get one back to sleep after she wakes up at three a.m. and wants to play.”
My nose wrinkles. “Whoa. Does that happen regularly?”
“Every single night.” She sighs heavily, the fatigue evident.
“I’m pretty sure she slept through the nights I’ve been here,” I say, smiling confidently. She raises a skeptical brow.
It is an absolute fact that Lenni had me spinning my wheels and jumping through hoops like a trained circus pony at bedtime.
Every night, from beginning to end, it took me no less than an hour and a half until she closed her eyes and finally fell asleep.
There were books to read, drinks of water to fetch, potty time, story time, checking for monsters under the bed.
You name it, Lenni was sure to make it happen.
When I would finally close her bedroom door, I would come out to the living room, plop down on the couch with the TV turned on to hockey highlights, and fall asleep instantly.
Halle gives me a shrewd look, and my eyes grow wide, my mouth gaping open. “Wait, what? She woke up? How did I not know that?”
“You were sound asleep out here. Snoring loudly, I might add.” She laughs with a shrug. “Thankfully, you wore her out enough for her to go back down without too much work.”
“Ah, shit, Hal. I’m so sorry you were disturbed.” I offer an apologetic smile and lay a hand on her knee. “Here I was, feeling like hot shit, when instead, I literally fell asleep on the job. I’ll be better tonight.”
Halle shakes her head and scoots away, creating additional distance between us. I miss the heat of her snuggled next to me.
“Honestly, now that I’m back in the land of the living and you have your game, I think we’ll be fine without you. I can take care of my own daught—” She stops suddenly, the corners of her mouth turning into a frown, her brows furrowing together. “I meant…”
“It’s all good. I’ve only been in her life a short time, and, well, you’ve been her mother from the start.” I take her hands in mine, gazing into her eyes hopefully. “I’d love it if you give me a chance with her.”
And you.
I don’t have a chance to say that because my phone vibrates in my pocket with an incoming call. I let go of her hands and root around in the front of my jeans, extracting it to check the display.
“Oh shit,” I grumble, realizing exactly what the call is about. “It’s the team’s PR rep. I need to take this.”
“Of course. I’ll go grab some more tea in the kitchen.”
“Hello?” I answer, my gaze following Halle’s backside as she walks toward the other room. Damn, her ass looks amazing in those leggings, round and firm globes accentuated by toned legs. What I wouldn’t give to dig my fingers in the curves of her hips and feel her legs locked around my waist.
For a second, I get lost in a memory until the voice of Nat Stinson, our PR coordinator, shakes me free.
“Dane, it’s Nat. You didn’t forget about the video podcast interview we scheduled for you with Jones Hartley today, did you?”
I make a face and check my calendar app. Sure enough, there it is. I’d promised Ballas I’d do this interview, but I completely forgot it was today.
“Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course I didn’t forget.” Halle watches me and I cross one finger over the other. “Yep, I’m on my way, just had an errand to run. See you in a bit.”
I disconnect the call and jump off the couch, feeling the weight of Halle’s stare from across the room. She stands in the middle of the kitchen holding a mug of tea with both hands, the steam rising and curling around her face. Her eyebrows are lifted to the ceiling.
“Gotta go?” she asks, the tone light and without censure.
I sweep up my keys from the coffee table and realize I’ve left a mess for her to clean up.
“Yeah. Shit, I forgot I about this publicity thing before the game.” I snap my fingers as another thing dawns on me.
“That reminds me… Lenni’s pickup after daycare is all squared away today.
I’ll be there to get her, and Lundy’s wife, Helena, will drive her home and drop her off with you. ”
Halle’s shoulders slump, and she drops her chin to her chest. “Oh, how embarrassing, Dane. You shouldn’t have had to enlist someone I don’t know to help me out.”
I step toward her with a grin, bopping her on the tip of her button nose. She stubbornly jerks her head away.
“It takes a village, Cherry.” I wink and flash her my signature smile. “So, get used to the extra help because you and Lenni are part of the Vikings family now.”