5
Huxley
I’ve let myself believe for the past three years that she’s never been in this building except for our class together. But that was her. Valentina Demarco—the girl I’ve never gotten over and probably never will.
I would say I’m not complaining, but when graduation comes and she’s still in my head, I’ll probably go mad.
But for now, I follow her, keeping a safe distance between us so she doesn’t know I’m behind her.
Do I sound like a stalker? Sure.
But even though we’ve talked a few times here and there and she smiled at me at the Senior party, which I haven’t gotten out of my head, we still aren’t friends. So, me walking up to her would be weird, right?
That’s weird, but you stalking her isn’t?
Whatever. Besides, it's like that one saying—don’t blame me, love made me crazy—Taylor Swift or someone like that.
“Hey, Valentina.”
I stop at the main door that leads outside, keeping it open enough to listen to her conversation with Carson.
He’s the last person she should be talking to. And I’m not just saying that because I wish she were talking to me. I know the guy well enough to know she shouldn’t be around him. Honestly, no girl should be around that guy, but especially her.
“We never finished that conversation,” he says to her, but she’s not having it.
“No. You never got to finish it. But I was done. And I don’t want to continue it anymore.” She tries to walk away from him, but he grabs her shoulder to stop her.
My hand grips the door handle tightly as he gets closer to her face. “You see, this is why people like you shouldn’t be able to give out a political opinion.”
Val grinds her teeth. “Do you actually mean people like me, or do you just mean women in general?”
“You said it, not me,” Carson says with a wicked smile.
“You're an asshole, not me.” Good girl.
She tries to move again, but Carson grips her arm tighter. My body wants to go down there to help her, but I wait. She’s holding herself up pretty well right now. And besides, I wouldn’t mind watching her punch him in the face.
“Listen here, you little bitch. I’m just trying to help you live the best life you can live.”
“By taking away my rights and abusing me into agreeing with you?” she snaps at him.
He grips her arm tighter, and she turns her head from him. “You should be grateful there are men like me in the world who are smart enough to understand how you should live better than you do.”
Jesus Christ.
Val shoves against his chest, but he holds her tighter. “Let go of me,” she begs, and I’m moving.
He whispers something to her before I get to him, but as soon as I do, I rip his hand from her arm and shove him back a few steps. Though I want to do so much more.
“Leave her alone, Carson.”
Carson’s smile grows when he sees me. “Well, if it isn’t the band freak,” he sneers. “My bad, guitar boy. Didn’t mean to steal your newest fuck doll.”
Yeah, no one says shit like that about her. I take a step forward, just a step, when a hand grips my arm.
“Huxley,” Val whispers. I turn my head enough to look back at her, her big brown eyes pleading. “I’m fine. Please.”
She’s begging me to leave this alone. Probably only because she knows I will. Despite what people may say about me, I don’t get into fights. I don’t see the point in fucking up my hand just to get my point across. No one listens anyway, so I don’t bother.
But this prick. God, I’d love to break my hand with his face. But I won’t. Because she told me not to.
“You enjoy her, Huxley.” Val grips my arm tighter, darkening my glare as I look back at Carson. “Maybe you can fuck some sense into her naive little mind.”
Yup, I want to cut his head off. Which one? I’ll let Val choose.
Carson stalks away, smiling at Val as he does. She watches him, her hand rubbing over her arm where he grabbed her. She looks terrified. Maybe she’s never been touched like this before. Thank god if that’s the case.
“You okay?”
Her head snaps back to me, but I can’t take my eyes off her arm. There’s a faint red mark from where he gripped her too hard.
She smiles weakly and tucks her hair behind her ear to try to appear calm. “I’m fine.” Her voice works against her, shaking on every syllable.
Is it too late to run Carson down and beat him for scaring her so much?
Ignoring my sudden taste for violence, I reach forward, fixing her shirt sleeve that rolled up from Carson’s hold on her. She glances at my actions and then softly smiles at me. I manage a smile back.
“Do you know him?” she asks, tipping her head in Carson’s direction.
I shove my hands into my pockets and shrug. “Used to be friends.”
“Used to?”
I nod. “Let’s just say, we had some differences of opinion.”
And that’s the nice way of saying he thought I should use the rumors about me to my advantage.
Except he didn’t mean sleeping with as many girls as possible.
He meant hurting girls, using them. Now every time I see his face, I’m reminded of all those things he said he would do with my power like it’s a gift.
But it’s not a gift.
It’s a fucking curse.
One I don’t know if I’ll ever get rid of.
Val nods. “Good. If you were still friends with him, we couldn’t be friends anymore.”
“But you’re my only friend. Who else would I talk to?” I force a smile after my joke because it’s sort of true.
She’s unable to hide her smile as she rolls her eyes. The wind lifts her hair from her shoulders. It’s gonna rain soon, but I don’t want her to go. I want to stay here and talk to her for hours. I want it to start raining on us, so I have to pull her inside and keep her close to warm her up.
I want to be hers.
Her beautiful, dark brown eyes, which I have most definitely dreamt about many times, look up at me. “Thank you, by the way.” She rubs her arm again. “For all that.”
I stare at my girl and know this is where we part. But I can’t watch her walk away.
“Anytime, Valentine.” I wink at her and take off in a random direction. I have no idea where I’m going. But no matter where I go, her eyes stay in my mind everywhere.
When I finally make it to my apartment, when I go to class the next few days, and right now, as I stare at a stack of papers that I’m supposed to be reading.
It’s been harder to concentrate this year. Maybe because I know I’ll have to leave the stability of college life and all the opportunities I’ve gotten here. And I’ll probably have a hard time finding elsewhere.
But the real truth, the truth I don’t want to admit, is that I’ll miss her even more than I do now. I don’t know where she’s going after college. Hell, I don’t know where I’m going after college.
All I know is that she’ll be off doing something important for the world, while I’ll probably still be living with my mother, trying to make a living off the random coins people will throw into a hat on the street.
Yes, I have the self-esteem of a sewer rat. But at least they have friends down there.
Someone bursts through the door to the classroom I’m in, pulling my head up and out of the awful thoughts. Shock fills me first, but then I can’t help but smile at her.
“Hey, Valentine.”
“Do you want to have sex with me?”
Yes. Oh my god, yes. I’ll clear this table off right now.
“What?” I whisper, my smile slipping. Thank god those thoughts didn’t come out.
She pulls in a deep breath and asks again, “Do you want to have sex with me?”
I don’t know what to do—I’ve never been like this. I always say yes to this question. But she’s never been the girl on the other end. And I honestly never thought she would be.
Fear fills her eyes at my silence. She looks ready to run, but another voice stops her.
“What’s the matter, Huxley? A girl’s never asked you to your face before?”
Her eyes widen in horror as she looks at the classroom full of students. “Oh my god.”
“Valentine,” I say slowly so I don’t spook her. But it doesn’t work. She takes off running out of the room.
“Shit.” I take off after her, and damn, she’s fast. She’s nearly halfway across campus when I push open the door to Lewis Hall.
“Damn it, Val,” I say under my breath as I run after her. “Slow down there.” I grab her arm and turn her around to face me.
“I can’t believe I just did that,” she says without hesitation. “Why did I do that? Why didn’t I see if you were alone? Oh my god, all those people were staring at me.”
She presses her hands to the sides of her head, like she’s trying to squeeze the memory of the moment out. I gently grab her hands and remove them from her head. Which is harder than I thought it would be. She really has a tight grip here.
I let go of her hands and place mine on her shoulders so I can get eye level with her. “Valentine,” I say softly. “Relax. They’ll all forget about it tomorrow.”
She shakes her head quickly. “I won’t. I’ll be humiliated for the rest of my life.”
“Bit dramatic,” I try to joke, but she glares at me. She starts to turn, but I hold her in place. “Okay, hold on a second. There’s something you and I need to talk about.”
She shakes her head again. Not as fast, but still as frantic. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
I stare down at her skeptically. “Really?”
“Yup. We don’t have to talk about anything. We can just forget it happened.”
Yeah, I’ll never forget what happened. It will replay in my head for the rest of eternity. The closest I ever got to being with her.
I stand up straight and cross my arms over my chest. “Is that what you want?”
She stares up at me, a little calmer because of the hint of confusion in her eyes. “What do you mean?”
“Do you want to forget that you asked me to have sex with you?”
Her eyes fall to the sidewalk. I don’t want to say she’s embarrassed, but that’s the only logical reason for her reaction.
She looks shorter right now. Or maybe I’ve never noticed just how short she is compared to me. I could pull her to my chest, and she’d fit perfectly under my chin. I could wrap myself around her completely, making sure nothing ever hurt her.
I would only hope that she actually felt safe in my arms, too.
“Do you want to?” she asks softly, still looking toward the ground.
“Forget?”
She finally lifts her head. “Have sex with me?”
Don’t scare her. “I’ve got time.”
Her eyes widen with a hint of fear I was trying not to give her. “What?”
I pull my phone out and glance at my schedule. “Yeah, I’ve got about 20 minutes till my next class. I’m sure there’s an empty room or closet we can use.”
Truth is, the rest of my day is free. I just don’t want to wait.
I want this girl now. I want to hold her and kiss her. Run my hands over her body and find the spots that make her squirm and scream.
God, we need to do this quickly, or I’m gonna take her right here on this sidewalk. But I don’t really feel like getting arrested today.
I glance down at her from my phone as her eyes dart around us like she’s looking for a quick escape from this situation.
“Valentine.” Her eyes fly up to me, wide and terrified.
No public sex. Got it.
That’s usually my rule, too. But I’d break it for her any day.
I swipe on my phone, pulling up my contacts before handing it to her. “Put your number in.” She takes it slowly, not looking away from me. “That way we can plan out a time that works for both of us,” I add.
Guess I’ll have to wait just a bit longer.
She slowly types in her number, her fingers shaking the whole time. Is she really that nervous to have sex with me? Why? To be honest, I’m surprised she’s waited this long.
Not that I ever really expected her to ask me to have sex. But that’s who I am on campus—the guy who has sex. And since we’re kind of sort of friends, I figured she would have wanted to give it a try with me sooner.
She hands the phone back, so I quickly add her name and send her a message.
Huxley: Testing 1,2,3
She pulls her phone out and glances at the text. “Good.” Her eyes fly back to me. “Your hands were shaking so much, I didn’t know if you typed the right numbers. Now I know you did.”
I try to smile at her, but she still looks nervous, which doesn’t make any sense to me. A beautiful girl like Valentina Demarco should know how her body works and how she likes to be pleased. And she shouldn’t be nervous around a guy like me.
“So I’ll text you soon so we can figure something out, alright?
” I say when she doesn’t respond. “I’m thinking maybe Saturday night?
Maybe we'll go to a party first. Have some fun before the night really starts. Think about it.” I ruffle her hair up to try and come off calm, but my hand heats up from her touch. “See ya, Valentine.”
I turn and head back to Lewis Hall, though I can almost guarantee that my class has left with how much time I’ve been gone. But I couldn’t care less right now. Because I have plans to be with the girl I’ve been waiting for since Freshman year.
And even though I always dreamed that we would be more than just sex, I’m going to take this moment and hold onto it as hard as I can.
Because this is my one shot with Valentina Demarco.
Girls like her don’t come around every day. And I’ll be damned if I mess this up.