6
Valentina
Thousands of thoughts run through my brain, and none of them slow down as I walk into my apartment.
Birdie frowns when she sees me. “You look like you’ve been hit by a bus.”
“I think I was.” That sure is what it feels like, at least.
“Wait, shit. Do you need to go to the hospital?” Ava jumps up from the couch, ready to sprint out the door with me in tow to make sure I’m okay, which makes Birdie glare at her.
“She’s not serious, dumbass.”
“Then what happened?” Ava asks, ignoring Birdie’s insult.
I fiddle with my keys, glancing back and forth between the two of them before my eyes finally settle on my hands.
“I um.” I don’t have many keys, but right now they are incredibly interesting.
“I sort of had an idea.” This one goes to my apartment.
And this one is for the mailbox. “Of who I would have sex with.”
Ava gasps in excitement, nearly making me flinch. “What happened then? Who was your idea?”
I slowly look back up at Birdie and give her a weak smile. “Huxley Adams.”
Her eyes go wide, and Ava gasps again, louder this time and more in shock than anything else.
“Huxley Adams?” she asks softly, like he’s right behind the door and can hear her. “The sex maniac?”
“And the guy you’ve had a crush on since Freshman Year?” Birdie adds, a combination of confusion, anger, and deep concern lacing her words.
I somehow manage to push myself away from the door to walk closer to her. “Look, I know it’s a crazy idea,” I say calmly, trying to reassure her. Or me. Probably both of us, honestly. “But I know what this is. If he was asking me, I would think he wanted more. But I asked him so—”
Birdie’s hand comes up, cutting me off. “You already asked him?”
Regret fills every inch of my body as I nod.
“Did he say no?” Ava asks gently, like she doesn’t want to hurt my feelings if that’s the case. “Is that why you’re so distraught?”
I shake my head, still not believing it myself. “He said yes.”
“This is so great!” Ava cheers, her voice a complete 180 from a second ago. She bounces over to us like a child, her hair swinging behind her with every hop. “When’s it happening? Where’s it happening?”
Birdie holds her hands up to Ava. “Hang on a second.” Ava and I both wait, but every time she tries to say something about all this, nothing comes out.
“What made you think of Huxley Adams as your random someone to fuck anyway?” Ava asks while Birdie remains flustered.
“You remember that guy from the party?” I ask, landing on this story to be the origin of me asking Huxley for sex.
No wait. That doesn’t sound right. I mean, it is right, I did ask him for sex.
Still doesn’t sound right, though.
“The one I still want to destroy?” Birdie finally speaks.
“Yeah, him. He came up to me on campus a couple days ago and wouldn’t leave me alone. But Huxley came up and made him leave.”
“Huxley showed up?” The confusion in Ava’s voice spreads to her features as she asks, “And helped you?”
I guess that is hard to believe. Huxley and I aren’t close by any means, and there’s no way he knew I would be outside the music building at that time, but I’m still set on the notion that he would have done it for any girl in trouble. That he’s not like the rumors everyone spreads about him.
Birdie crosses her arms over her chest. “What is your guys’ relationship anyway?”
Great. She’s definitely going to dissect this entire situation before she agrees to anything.
“He calls me Valentine. And we’ve only had that one class together.” I shrug. “Other than that, it’s just seeing each other at random.”
Ava points at me with her blinding excitement. “See. This helps. You guys don’t see each other that often, so you can have sex with him once and then avoid him until graduation.” She clasps her hands together and smiles brightly. “Simple.”
Okay. Ava’s on board. Birdie, on the other hand, is still processing.
“Well,” she starts slowly, “I think you should at least know that his friends have a bet going on around him.”
I frown. A bet? “What kind of bet?”
She pauses for a moment, assessing me before answering. “Apparently, they are betting on how many girls he can have sex with before Graduation.”
Ava sets a hand on my shoulder. “Now you can consider it a friendly fuck. Give him another notch in his bedpost and all that.”
Birdie rolls her eyes. “His bedpost is probably a toothpick from all the notches carved in it.”
I grimace at her words. I knew she didn’t like my crush on him, but does she really not like him because of this?
She sighs when she sees my reaction. “Look, if you really want to do this, then I won’t say no,” she says delicately, like I’m a child she’s trying not to get mad at. “All I’ll say is be careful. And part of that is using protection.”
“Oh yeah,” Ava says slowly, like there’s a horrible memory attached to her words. “Don’t forget that.”
I nod, but somehow, them being okay with this freaks me out. It makes all of this real, and that scares me even more than asking Huxley in front of that class.
Okay, no. That was terrifying.
While I try not to lose my head entirely, my phone vibrates in my pocket. As I reach for it, Ava starts talking again.
“Okay. Focus time. We need to start setting up your appointments now so you have time—”
I completely ignore my phone. “Appointments? For what?”
She crosses her arms over her chest as she arches her eyebrow. “Honey. You’re a virgin. Do you even shave down there?”
My eyes go wide, and the fear from earlier comes back tripled.
Is that something I really have to do? Would he even care about that? He wouldn’t judge me, right? Do guys judge girls on that type of thing? Surely they have preferences, but sex is sex.
Oh my god. What do I look like naked? Am I even that pretty to look at? Will he close his eyes just so he can fuck me? God, will he fuck me?
I close my eyes to take a deep breath and then do the next stupidest thing.
I look at my phone.
Huxley: Saturday night party at the usual place.
“What is it?” Birdie asks.
I swallow, but no words come out.
“Is it Huxley?” Ava tags on.
I finally look up at them and find my voice. “He said Saturday night party at the usual place.”
Ava starts clapping again. “That’s perfect.”
“How is that perfect?” Birdie snaps at her.
“Because that gives us more time to prepare her,” Ava deadpans, as if that answer was obvious.
Birdie glares at her. “I’m not participating in foreplay if that’s what you mean.”
A wave of nausea hits me, and my body moves on its own, sitting on the floor in the middle of our apartment. I push my hands into my hair, willing myself to calm the fuck down.
Just calm down.
It’s just sex.
It’s just sex.
Just sex with Huxley Adams.
God, what am I doing? Should I go through with this? Can I go through with this?
“Valentina?” I hear one of them say, so I look up. The worry on Birdie’s face has only grown, but it’s the worry on Ava’s face that leaves me dizzy.
“You know you don’t have to do this,” Birdie says softly.
Ava nods. “Yeah, if it’s too much, you can just say no.”
Despite my fears, I shake my head. “But if I say no to him, that will just mean there will be someone else I’ll have to say yes to.”
Yes, I’m scared about what’s going to happen come Saturday night. But I’m glad it’s with Huxley. He’s the only guy that I feel will be gentle with me and won’t treat me like a quick fuck. At least, that’s what I’m hoping.
Birdie and Ava glance at each other, communicating with their eyes for a moment. Even though they’re not looking at me, I can hear the conversation loud and clear—they agree with me. Now I just have to text Huxley back.
Before I can chicken out, I quickly send him a message.
Valentina: Sounds good.
Ava jumps right back into talking about preparations. And since I apparently have no idea what I’m supposed to do, I let her handle everything.
The days leading up to Saturday feel like a fever dream. Birdie helps me pick out an outfit while Ava drags me to every appointment she can come up with—a quick haircut, a simple manicure, a waxing session.
Even though I think it’s all too much, they tell me they wish their first time was more planned out like this. And because of that, I let them continue.
Now it’s the day before, and Ava keeps monitoring my food to make sure I don’t eat anything greasy for some strange reason she won’t explain.
I sit on the couch with the salad she prepared for me, minding my own business, when she shoves Birdie on the couch next to me.
“What are you doing now?” Birdie groans.
Ava stands in front of the television with the remote in her hand. “Tomorrow’s the big day, and we still haven’t gone over the most important thing.”
I stab a piece of lettuce. “And that is?”
And then I choke on said piece of lettuce because Ava turns the TV on and a pair of tits stare back at me.
“What the fuck?” Birdie screams while I cover my eyes.
“You have to know what to sound like and what you are capable of,” Ava says calmly, like there isn’t porn playing behind her.
“Turn that shit off,” Birdie says over the moaning coming from the TV.
“Val. You need to watch. The last thing you want to do is sound like a dying cow and make Huxley not want to have sex with you.”
I move my fingers enough to look at Ava through them. “I’m not watching porn with you.”
“Fine. I’ll send you the link, and you can take your own notes.”
Ava turns off the television, allowing Birdie and me to finally relax.
My phone buzzes a second later.
And I ignore it.