Huxley
Ishould have called Val back right away after she hung up on me last night, but I honestly couldn’t bring myself to it. She heard me crying, and after she hung up, the tears just kept coming.
I don’t remember the last time I cried so much. The last time I felt so much pain in my chest over the things I couldn’t control. Not only with Val, but with Harper too.
Hazel had told me before that she gets nightmares, but hearing it for myself was something I’ll never forget. The worst part was that her screaming reminded me of Val at the first party we went to—another moment when I didn’t have control over what was happening.
But the party was different. I should have been there for Val. Maybe how I should have been there for Harper.
God, I don’t even want to know what terrible things run through her head during her nightmares. What could a three-year-old possibly be witnessing to feel that type of fear?
I open my eyes and let my head fall back against the door. I never moved from last night. I got back to my room and just sat on the floor while I called Val, and I never found the energy to get back up. I also haven’t slept. But I can’t until I fix at least one thing in my life.
I check the time—it’s only five in the morning. But Val is on the other side of the country, so it should be later for her. And if I want to get any sleep before another day starts, I need to hear her voice now. And I need to fix this.
My phone rings five times before it finally stops.
“Hello?” Val's sleepy voice carries through the phone, and it makes me wish I was lying beside her rather than having to call her.
“We need to talk.” Keeping my voice even makes it come out harsher than I intend it to, but I can’t lose myself already. We need to get through this.
“Okay,” she whispers, and I hate even more that she thinks she has to hide me from her brother. But I pretty much told her to, so I guess I can’t blame her.
“Why did you hang up last night?” I ask with a softer voice than before.
“I told you. I didn’t want to intrude—”
“You know what I’m talking about, Valentina,” I snap through gritted teeth. I hate that I’m getting angry, but I also hate our situation. I just want her home. Because it’s getting harder to breathe without her near me, and that scares the shit out of me.
“You said you shouldn’t have let me leave.” She tries to make her voice as harsh as mine, but there’s still a softness to her words. A softness that tells me she hates our situation just as much as I do.
“Valentine,” I breathe out, holding on to the way her name sounds.
“I said I hated the feeling of missing you. Meaning I wanted you home. I haven’t had to miss you too much since we got together, and this time apart is killing me.
I don’t want to steal you from your time with your brother. I just hate not having you with me.”
Holy shit.
Did I just admit all that out loud to her?
“I’m sorry,” she whispers, pulling a deep frown on my face.
“Why are you sorry?”
A tear-laced laugh leaves her, and it crushes my heart.
“I overreacted last night. I shouldn’t have…
I shouldn’t have gotten mad over something like this.
Especially…” I wait for what feels like hours before she says the words that fuse my heart back together instantly.
“Especially when I hate having to miss you, too.”
I let my lungs fill with a deep breath, so I don’t rush to say something stupid. “Well, now you owe me four consecutive hours of your time.”
Soft laughter flows through the phone. “On top of the already 24 hours you were planning for after I get back?” she teases.
“You know me so well.”
“I think I still have a lot to learn,” she says, her voice now void of tears, and I instantly feel better.
“Well, we have 24 hours to work on that.”
“28 actually.”
“Told you I’m bad at math.” She giggles, and I nearly lose my mind over my favorite sound. “How many more days before I get to hear that in person?”
“I’ll be home Saturday.”
“Fuck.” My head bangs back into the door. That’s still three days away. “How am I going to survive that long without you?” I whisper my honesty, and I don’t really care if she hears me. Because right now I want her to know how much I really need her. How much I miss her.
“I guess my pictures and my voice will have to tide you over till then.”
I wish that would work. “I want to touch you.”
I want her in my bed with me every night. I want to wrap my arms around her in the middle of the day for no reason at all but to have her close. I want to take her hand in mine and let her measure the size difference between our hands, an act that always makes her blush.
I want to kiss her. I want to wrap her up in me while my lips press to her neck and she releases sounds that she’s never released for anyone else before. I want to be with my girl.
“Just close your eyes and imagine you’re touching me,” she says in the most innocent voice that makes me nearly drop my phone.
I clear my throat, but my voice still comes out deeper. “Don’t say that.”
“Why not?”
“Because if I close my eyes and imagine I’m touching you…” I squeeze my eyes shut, but that only makes me picture her on my bed even more. “You aren’t ready for that.”
She gasps like she understands exactly what I mean.
I shouldn’t be surprised that she does, but sometimes I can only see her as a naive girl who’s never been touched.
Because that’s sort of what she is. But I guess just because she’s never been touched before doesn't mean she doesn’t know about things like this.
A soft whimper from her end brings me back to reality.
“Valentina,” I breathe out, my voice dropping, and I know that’s only adding to her experience. “What are you doing?”
“I’m imagining you touching me.” I’ve never heard that voice from her before. Something so deep and seductive, it’s like she’s a completely different person. But at the same time, I know that’s my girl. The shy girl who’s never been touched has a monster inside of her begging to be released.
“Easy, Love. It’s five in the morning here.”
A soft moan travels through the phone and straight into my dick.
This is happening. And she’s initiating it.
“Huxley,” she breathes out.
“Yes, Love?”
“Tell me where you’d touch me.” Oh, fuck me. “Tell me where I should put my hand and how I should touch myself.”
I will never not be surprised by this woman. “You’re very bold this morning.”
She hesitates. “Is that okay?” The innocence fills her voice again, and I want to bang my head on the door for making her lose her confidence.
“Believe me, it is,” I quickly assure her. “But baby, I don’t want you doing something you aren’t ready for.”
“I told you I fantasized about you. What do you think I did? Just lied there and imagined you kissing me?”
I…she… “Wait…You masturbated while you thought of me?”
She tries to stifle a laugh. “What did you think I did?”
“I don’t know,” I mumble, still not able to see straight yet. “When you told me about my hands on your tits that one day, I thought that was the extent of it. You just imagined them there.”
“I may be a virgin, but that doesn’t mean I’ve never played with myself before.”
I want to laugh. Not at her, but at the situation I’m in.
This girl is turning me upside down and forcing me to read the alphabet backwards with my head underwater.
Or in other words, she’s showing me that just because she’s never been with anyone doesn't mean that the desire wasn’t inside of her.
It doesn’t mean that she’s uncertain about all the things we talk about, she just didn’t think anyone would do them with her.
And now I’m witnessing the full extent of her breaking out of that mold she put herself in. I just pray that she never hides back behind her walls. Because this Valentina is the one I never thought I would get, but also the one I know we both needed.
“Now,” she purrs. “Tell me where you would touch me, or I will do this on my own.”
I take a deep breath to get myself back in the mindset of what’s about to happen. Then I drop my voice lower and ask, “How dressed are you?”
Her breath hitches. “I’m wearing your shirt.”
“What else?”
“Guess.”
“I swear to god if you are only wearing my shirt I’ll lose my mind.”
I can hear her biting her lip to hold in a giggle. “Don’t worry. I have panties on.”
I groan. “How is that somehow worse?”
The giggle escapes fully this time before she drops her voice again. “Where would your hand go?”
“Grab your tits for me, baby.” As much as I want her to go straight to the place we both need right now, I’m still going to take this slow with her. That and I need some time to catch up.
I palm myself over my sweatpants as she hums. “Your hands are much bigger than mine. Yours probably would feel better on me.” She whimpers, and I nearly lose it on myself. “God and your rings.”
“Imagine them without your shirt.” I push my sweatpants down further and fully grip my waiting dick. I wonder if we’ll ever get to a time where she’ll want to touch me like this, or if she just expects sex.
Then again, she did say all her firsts. And now all I can imagine is her hand moving in place of mine. Though she is right, my hands are much bigger than hers. And if my hand grips my dick like this, then her hand…
I let out a louder groan than I wanted to, just at the thought of her hand on me. I have never once gotten this hard with just the thought of a girl. But then again, no other girl compares to Valentina.
“Are you touching yourself, Huxley Adams?” Her voice teasing with a giggle begging to come out behind it.
“Valentine,” I grit.
“Is that a yes?” She brings back her innocent voice, but this time she’s using it on me with her full confidence to back it up. Jesus, she’s learning how to have phone sex real fucking quick. And if she ever spoke like this directly to me?
I groan again. “Damn it, fuck. Of course, it’s a yes. How the fuck could I not when you sound this good.”
She hums again, toying with me. “Where else would you touch me?”
“Use your little fingers to fuck yourself, baby.” I’m done waiting. I’m about to lose my mind already, and she’s playing with me.
“You want me to fuck myself?” Her tempting voice falters a little as a gasp leaves her.
I smirk. “How wet are you, Love?”
“Guess.”
“What do I get if I guess right?”
A soft moan hits my ears before she says, “Maybe I’ll let you touch me when I get home.”
“Touch you?” My hand stops moving. “Are you serious?”
She’s ready for me to touch her now? Already? I mean, sure, we’ve gotten close, but I still don’t know how to feel right now. Am I nervous? Why am I nervous?
“Do you not want to touch me anymore?” The softness of her voice isn’t to play with me anymore. She’s scared of my reaction.
“That’s not what I meant,” I say as softly and as quickly as I can. “I’m just surprised.”
Nothing comes through the phone for a good minute, and all I can think is that I scared her off. Why did I freak out about her wanting me to touch her? That’s what all of this is about. That’s what all of this is supposed to lead up to.
Because you’ve fallen for the girl you were never supposed to have.
If shooting myself in the head didn’t kill me, I’d be doing it right now just to stop that thought from ever coming back.
“Huxley.”
Her voice comes back, but it’s different. There’s no innocence or lust behind her words. She almost sounds tired. Like this is the last thing she wants to be doing. Is she going to tell me we have to stop?
“Yes, Love?”
She pulls in a deep breath. “One or two.”
My brow furrows. “What?”
“Do you want me to put one finger inside me, or two?” Oh shit. We’re still doing this. “Answer me, baby.”
I let out a groan as my hand starts moving again. “Whatever makes you comfortable.”
“Yes, Sir.”
“Don’t call me Sir.”
“Why?” Her teasing voice comes back, so I decide to play into her little fantasy. Just as long as that doesn’t include her calling me Daddy, I’ll allow her to call me Sir.
“Because I’ll expect it later on,” I throw back at her.
She gasps before a longer moan slips out of her. And it doesn’t stop. She keeps moaning and panting, and I swear I’m about to come from just hearing her play with herself. She’s consuming and captivating, and I never want to lose this beautiful melody she’s creating.
She gasps again, but this time there’s a layer of fear etched into the sound, halting my movements.
“Val? What is it? What’s wrong?”
“Will and JJ are awake,” she whispers.
I think for a moment and then smirk. “Can you be quiet, Love?”
A moment passes before she whispers again. “Yes, Sir.”
“Good girl. Then keep that up with me.”
I can almost hear her moving her hand faster, which only tips me closer to the edge and makes me move my hand faster, too.
A louder moan leaves her lips, but she cuts it off halfway.
“Shhh, baby. Keep your voice down.”
Movement comes from her side before I hear her moan into her pillow.
A laugh tumbles out of me. “Sounds like someone can’t be quiet after all.”
“Fuck you,” she groans, half of her words still hitting the pillow.
“Don’t worry. That’s what I’m imagining.” She barely makes it to her pillow when another moan escapes her. “Come for me, baby. Let me hear you scream into your pillow.”
A muffled scream comes through as I let out my own release. Val's heavy breathing connects with mine as she rolls away from the pillow.
“You are amazing, Valentina Demarco.”
“Thank you, Sir.” I can nearly hear her smile on her face, and I wish more than anything that I could be there to see her after what we just did together.
“Alright, calm down there, Love. I can’t go another round with you.” She giggles, and I have to bite my tongue to stifle a groan that begs to escape. “I still can’t believe you’ve masturbated before.”
She huffs. “I’m a virgin. Not a Nun.”
I nearly choke on a laugh. “Thank God for that.”
“Actually, God probably would have preferred me to be a Nun. My mother would have.”
My eyebrows jump up. “I figured you would have said your father.”
“It’s probably both, honestly,” she mumbles. There’s something there, but now isn’t the time to push it.
“Well, before I let you get ready for the day, I’m going to say you’re welcome.”
She hesitates. “For what exactly?”
“Your first time having phone sex.” To be honest, it’s a first for me too. I wonder how many other firsts I’ll have with her. What else haven’t I done?
My mind starts ticking through the things I’ve experienced when I realize Val hasn’t responded.
“Right,” she finally whispers. “Very true.”
I must be overthinking, which wouldn’t be the first time with her. I need to calm down before I ruin everything again.
“I’ll talk to you later, Love,” I say softly, already waiting for the next call I get with her. “And I can’t wait to see how you look today also.”
“Yeah. I’ll talk to you later.”
After she hangs up, I look down at the mess she made on my lap. And I smile. Because I could get used to her like this. Her confidence is beyond what I ever imagined, and all I want is to bring it out of her again and again.