Chapter 9
By the time they finally deplaned back in Michigan, Cody was very ready to curl up in bed with his heating pad. He had to wait another hour before he could take more painkillers, but at least he’d be home. Able to be miserable in private.
Hen patted him on the shoulder before they all parted ways to head to their cars or pickups, and Cody made his way over to his car in daze, head foggy.
He was spacing out so much that he didn’t realize he’d been followed until he was unlocking his Audi, staring down at his keys and trying to decide if he was actually good to drive.
Fuck, he hadn’t felt this bad in a while.
Maybe he should call for a ride and get his car later.
But then how would he get to morning skate tomorrow?
Unless he just got rides until his heat was over and he was safe to come back to the airport to get his car.
The next awful thought hit him a second later. If he was having such a hard time concentrating now, he had no idea how he’d be able to play in the game tomorrow. Fucking fuck. This was exactly why people ripped into him so much. Why so many had decided that omegas shouldn’t—couldn’t play.
Someone cleared his throat, and Cody whipped around, wondering why he hadn’t scented a threat, and sagged in relief to see it was Leo. No wonder his hackles hadn’t been raised. Leo’s scent meant safe.
Leo was also wearing the same concerned expression that he’d been wearing…basically since he’d discovered that Cody was in heat.
“Um, hey,” Cody said, licking his lips. “Everything okay?” Leo, he knew, never parked at airports; he always just got a ride home. Cody just happened to prefer driving himself. Usually.
Leo seemed to war with himself for a moment, opening and closing his mouth. Cody tried waiting him out, getting antsier just standing there in the parking garage. Out in the open.
“Leo—” Cody started, before he cut off with a whine, only just keeping himself upright as he was hit with another cramp.
Not nearly as bad as the ones he’d gotten when Leo wasn’t present, but still—bad.
Fuck, what was going on? His heats were always terrible, but even his worst days weren’t usually this bad, with the cramps happening so frequently and with this level of pain.
As his vision cleared and his senses came back online, he realized that Leo had moved.
He was pressed all along Cody’s back, arms curled around him.
“Oh,” Cody whispered, locking his knees so they didn’t give out.
Being held by Leo, surrounded by his scent—it felt incredible, especially in contrast to how badly Cody was just feeling.
But they were also still out in the open, in a public parking garage where anyone could see. And…and Cody could feel himself slick more, just from Leo holding him.
“I’ve got to get home,” Cody forced out. He couldn’t quite make himself pull out of Leo’s arms. “Leo, it’s not safe,” he babbled. “I-I’ve got to get home.”
“Cody—” Cody heard Leo take a breath. “I don’t want to be an alphahole and tell you what to do, but I don’t think you’re good to drive right now.”
“It’s…it’s not usually this bad,” Cody said, voice small. “I mean it’s bad, but not like this. I usually get through it fine, even if the week sucks.”
“A week?” Leo said, sounding shocked. His arms tightened around Cody, and Cody heard a sharp exhale. “No, you know what, nevermind. We can talk about that later. Let me drive you home? Please.”
The relief that rushed through him at the offer was almost the equivalent of an adrenaline rush. “Thank you,” Cody said, holding up his fob.
He was too weak to deny himself a little longer in Leo’s presence and scent.
***
The drive to Cody’s house passed by in a blur, but this one was almost pleasant.
With Leo in the car with the windows up, Cody was able to breathe in his scent without any other interference.
It helped clear his head, enough for him to start thinking about tomorrow.
It was looking as though he truly might not be able to make morning skate and the evening game.
Fuck. And he’d told Hen that he was fine to play too.
Could Cody afford to go back on his word and take the day off? Could he afford not to?
He pictured himself playing tomorrow, surrounded by aggressive alphas who all had it out for him. Pictured himself getting one of those cramps that sent him to his knees.
On the ice, in the middle of a game, broadcast for the world to see.
“Hey, hey,” Leo said gently, glancing over at him before focusing back on the road. “What’s that face for?”
No doubt Cody looked the picture of misery. “Just thinking about the game,” he said hoarsely. “What could happen if I played tomorrow.” The secret would be out. And I might never recover.
“Last night and today you seem…different,” Leo said carefully after a second. “You played the game yesterday afternoon and we all could tell you weren’t feeling great, but you were still able to play and play well.”
“Yeah,” Cody said unhappily, twisting his hands in his sweatshirt.
“I don’t know why things have been so bad.
Ever since—ever since I missed my inhibitor dose yesterday, it’s like all the shittiest parts of my heats are magnified times ten.
Like…” He felt so much shame to admit it.
“Like there’s a non-zero chance that if I get on the ice tomorrow night, I’ll lose my mind in the middle of the game. ”
There was a sharp, awful pause.
“Cody,” Leo started, voice shaking slightly.
He was looking straight ahead at the road and was definitely not driving at the speed limit.
Cody really hoped they didn’t get pulled over.
“Cody, I’m going to be honest. If you collapsed on the ice during the game and someone I didn’t trust implicitly approached you—I’d probably attack them.
Even if it was someone trying to help you.
And the chances of me hurting them before someone managed to pull me off is… not small.”
It was shocking to hear that even-tempered Leo, who only rarely dropped gloves, might go into some sort of protective rage because Cody was like this. “But I’ve gone down on the ice before,” Cody tried. “You’ve never—”
“Not while you were in heat, Cody,” Leo snapped.
Then he sighed. “Sorry. Sorry, I just…I know you’ve done this before.
Played through the pain. But you said it yourself that things are worse right now.
And I know that now too. Which means I…I know just how much you’re hurting, and so yes, if you collapsed during the game tomorrow because you’re in the middle of your heat, I would probably try to kill the people actually trying to help you.
I know the rest of the team would be able to dogpile me until I came to my senses but—all of that would be broadcast.”
Cody was quiet for a second, digesting this. Then he couldn’t help asking, “If…if you could lose control because I’m hurting and,” he swallowed, “and vulnerable, then…then why wasn’t it my fault that Vince—”
“The difference,” Leo gritted out, clearly trying to school his expression, “is that if I lost control during a high-adrenaline situation where violence happens on the regular, I would be dropping my gloves to protect the person I loved, knowing that he was hurting and in heat. I’m not proud of the fact that my brain might cloud over with protective instinct, but I think I know myself well enough to say it wouldn’t happen in any other situation that wasn’t in the middle of a fucking hockey game.
Your would-be rapist saw a vulnerable omega in pain and made the choice to try to take advantage of him.
” Leo exhaled and glanced over at him. “Cody, do you…read anything or consume any media about omegas that isn’t the press talking about you specifically?
Because I get the NHL is toxic and hyper-alphahole, I really do, believe me.
But pro sports are some of the last holdouts to that sort of toxic culture.
Like…I’m not saying you should, but if you wanted to press charges, between your testimony, mine and Sergei’s witness, and some pictures of your neck and wrists, that guy would have a very hard fucking time winning not guilty.
But Your Honor, I liked his scent does not fucking hold up in court. ”
Cody glanced down at his hands and pushed back one of his hoodie sleeves to reveal the splotchy purpled bruise from Vince holding his wrists too tightly.
“Just something to think about, okay?” Leo said, reaching over to squeeze Cody’s knee.
Cody pulled his phone out of his pocket, keeping his head down so he didn’t have to look at Leo. “I’ll call Hen when I get home,” he said. “And tell her I can’t skate tomorrow.”
“Do you…want to tell her why?” Leo asked hesitantly. “You know she’d be in your corner. And maybe then she’d be able to help more. Or at least if she’s aware of your heats—”
“And the fact that I’ve been lying to her for six years?” Cody demanded. “You think she’d really be in my corner after that?”
“Yes,” Leo said firmly. “I think she’d be understanding as to why you hid them.”
Cody sagged, the fight draining out of him. “I don’t know,” he said quietly. “I don’t know.”
“Okay, Cody,” Leo said just as quietly. “Okay. That’s fine. Right now let’s just get you home.”
***
Leo pulled Cody’s car into the garage and then went to grab their bags from the trunk before Cody was even all the way unbuckled.
By the time Cody extracted himself from the passenger seat—moving slowly, he never moved slowly—Leo was holding both their carry-ons and giving Cody yet another concerned look.
“I’m just tired,” Cody muttered.
Leo nodded at the door. “Why don’t you let us in, okay? And I’ll grab something to drink before I—call for a ride. Unless you want me to stay while you call Hen? If you want moral support.”
“Thanks,” Cody said, whetting his lips as he unlocked the door and opened it for Leo. “But you don’t have to. You’ve already done so much for me. I can’t ask you to—”