Chapter 9 #2
“You’re not asking,” Leo said, following Cody inside Cody’s house. “I’m offering.”
Cody licked his lips again. “Then, uh, yeah. Yeah, I’d, um, appreciate that.”
Leo smiled at him. “Then I’m happy to.”
Cody smiled hesitantly back before he remembered. “Oh! Let me go check the front. My inhibitor was delivered and I should take my dose asap.” The shame crept back in. “Especially because the last time I missed a dose it—wasn’t good.”
“You’re still not feeling good,” Leo pointed out.
Cody shrugged and went to check his front door.
Sure enough, a familiar mailer was waiting for him. Cody ripped the pull tab open and checked inside. It was an old, well-worn fear that he’d open his package and it would be empty—or there wouldn’t be enough.
But no, there they were, three thin little blister packs containing his twenty-three sublinguinals. Three times seven for the duration of his heat, two new emergency extras because he’d used his up, and one blank.
Great, Cody thought, staring down at his small handful.
Good. Maybe now he’d get a handle on himself again.
He ripped open a packet and placed the dissolvable under his tongue, grimacing at the taste as usual.
Then he doubled back to the kitchen, because Leo had said he was thirsty right?
So that’s probably where he was; getting himself something to drink.
When he reached the kitchen, he stopped short to find that Leo was not, in fact helping himself to a glass of water or a Gatorade. Instead, he was at Cody’s stove. Stirring something in a pot.
“Leo,” Cody started incredulously. “If you’re hungry, I have a bunch of frozen prepared meals—” Cody, like a lot of guys on the team, hired a personal chef to come to his house a couple times a week and make him food to eat fresh and to freeze.
His chef Imalia was a freaking godsend, because the very last thing Cody wanted to do after a long day of skating or media or both was try to cook.
And sometimes ordering food was its own sort of effort.
Imalia had the passcode to his door so she could cook in peace while Cody was out of the house, and she’d restocked him yesterday while he’d been out of town.
She’d sent him a text telling him what she’d made, but Cody hadn’t really taken it in. All her food was delicious though.
“Would you eat any of them right now?” Leo asked mildly as he stirred whatever it was.
“Well…well no,” Cody admitted. He had a hard time keeping his weight up during the season, so he mostly had filling, high-calorie, carb and protein rich meals. All plenty tasty because Imalia was a marvel, but none of them sounded at all appealing right now. “But if you’re hungry—”
“Cody,” Leo sighed. “Just let me make you food that you have a chance at eating, okay? If it helps any, it’ll make me feel better.”
“Make you feel better?” Cody repeated dumbly. “Why?”
Leo focused his attention on Cody, instead of whatever was in the pot.
“Because I care about you,” he said matter-of-factly.
“Just seeing you suffering like this has really fucking sucked, but every time you collapse or lose time, it scares the shit out of me. And maybe it’s the dumb alpha in me, but I want to fucking provide for you, okay? ”
“You’re not dumb,” Cody managed in the face of all that, because that was the thing he could focus on right now. “You’re—you’re like the best alpha.”
Leo smiled at him, and was it Cody’s imagination, or did he just stand up straighter? “Thanks for saying so, sweetheart.”
Sweetheart. Cody melted into one of his kitchen chairs to watch Leo work and to inhale more of his scent. It was the best of both worlds, really, being home in Cody’s own, lived-in space. But also…
Having Leo in his space.
“What’re you making?” Cody asked as Leo stirred and stirred.
“I’m making you those brown sugar grits you like,” Leo said. “Should be ready in just one more minute.”
Pleasure rushed through Cody. Brown sugar grits was one of his favorite meals.
Not only did it taste good, but the meal was filled with warm memories of his Gran making it for him when Cody used to stay over at her house.
They were the epitome of a comfort food, but sometimes Cody didn’t feel up to making them because it felt wrong to do it when he was all by his lonesome in his big empty house.
They were a special treat though, one Cody remembered making for Leo a few times.
Especially when Leo was injured or sick.
Having his favorite food and, even better, having it made by Leo, who was warmth and safety, sounded like the best thing in the world right now.
“Thank you,” Cody said. Then, more quietly, “And thanks for…for taking care of me. I’m sorry I’m—like this.” That I can’t be the omega partner you deserve.
“I like you like this,” Leo said, turning off the stove.
As he poured the grits into two bowls, he added, “Maybe I don’t like that you’re hurting, but you’re still the Cody I fell in love with.
You’re thoughtful and kind and caring and so fucking smart, and even in the middle of your heat, you’re trying to take care of me. ”
Leo placed the two bowls on the table and, for the first time, Cody noticed that spoons, napkins, and the brown sugar had already been set out. He busied himself with adding just the right amount of brown sugar to his bowl before he made himself open his mouth again.
“It has to bother you though, right?” Cody asked, fiddling with his spoon.
It was the thought that had him wracked with guilt since Leo had helped him through his heatwave.
“That I…that I can’t have healthy heats.
That I have to keep taking the inhibitors and might not ever have a proper heat again. I won’t be able to—to give you that.”
There was silence for a long moment, and when Cody looked back up at Leo, unable to stand the press of it anymore, it was to see Leo wearing a hopeful expression.
“Does this mean you’d like to be with me?
” Leo asked, voice full of yearning. “Give dating a try? Let me—let me take care of you? Not during heat—or not only during heat, I mean. But on your good days, your bad days, letting me be there for you?”
“You do that already anyway,” Cody said blankly, because it was true, Leo did. “But y-yeah, I mean, of course I’d like to…to be with you. You’re smart and funny and—” he swallowed, “—and stupidly handsome and so nice to me—”
Leo beamed at him, so Cody quickly finished. “But don’t you want someone who you can share heats with?”
Leo raised an eyebrow. “What do you think I’m doing right now?”
Cody flushed. “But that’s not—I’m not—”
“Just because you’re taking meds to manage your heatwaves doesn’t mean you’re weaker or any less of an omega,” Leo said.
“It doesn’t mean you’re less of a person either or less deserving of love and care.
” Then Leo gave Cody a rueful smile. “I’m bi, as it so happens.
I guess it’s never come up, but I’ve been interested in alphas before.
I’m attracted to people, not whether or not they have heatwaves. ”
Cody opened and closed his mouth but no sound came out.
“Why don’t you have something to eat?” Leo said gently, nodding at Cody’s bowl. “Should be cool enough now.”
Grateful for the distraction, Cody ducked his head to dip his spoon in his bowl. The flavor that burst on his tongue was the exact comforting favorite he liked so much, just hot enough to be warming without it burning his mouth. He hummed in pleasure and went back for another spoonful.
Leo made this for me. The thought was almost as warming as the food.
He finished nearly half the bowl, astonished to discover he was actually hungry, before he glanced back up at Leo. “It’s really good. Thank you for making it for me.”
Leo wasn’t eating his own portion. Instead, he was watching Cody eat with a soft smile on his face. “I’m glad to do it.”
Cody looked from Leo to the bowl, then back to Leo. “This makes me feel better too,” he said, taken aback as he realized it. “It’s—I wasn’t hungry at all until you made me food. I was feeling kind of sick.” He pointed his spoon at Leo. “This is another heat thing I didn’t know about, isn’t it.”
“It’s not just a heat thing, necessarily,” Leo said. “It also might be a Cody and Leo thing.” When Cody frowned at him, Leo continued, “I want you to imagine someone who wasn’t me making you food. An alpha. Sitting here instead of me.”
Cody wrinkled his nose. “I don’t want any other alpha sitting here.”
The smile he got for that declaration was blinding, enough that Cody wanted to bask in it. He loved getting to make Leo smile. And for what? Just for stating facts?
So Cody kept talking. “I mean that. I-I know I haven’t been great company these last couple of days, but my heats—they always suck.
And they hurt. And I just have to grit my teeth and power through them.
I didn’t, you know, um, mean for you to find out about them, but if there was anyone in the world I thought I could trust with knowing, it would be you. ”
Leo leaned forward, as if he were hanging onto every word Cody was saying.
“With…with taking care of me,” Cody whispered. “It would be you.”
“Sweetheart,” Leo said. He sounded winded, as though Cody’s words had hit him hard.
Face flaming, Cody had to drop his gaze in the face of that intensity. He spooned some more grits into his mouth to keep from saying something foolish. That, and they were good and he was still hungry.
“I have an idea,” Leo said after a couple minutes of silence as they both ate.
“Yeah?” Cody asked, lifting his head.
“How about after you finish eating, we get some supplies together and then go to your room,” Leo said. “And then you can build any sort of nest you’d like, and once it’s done, I’ll spend some time holding you in it. Would you like that?”
Cody heard himself make a wounded sound, and he had to swallow several times before he was able to speak. “Yeah. Yeah that sounds…perfect.”