Chapter 11
Cody woke up feeling warm and cozy, but also sore. Sore in a way that was, unfortunately, all too familiar to him. It was born of stress—tensing his muscles over and over again without relief.
His jaw ached too, and not for any of the fun reasons. Mostly it felt like he’d been clenching his teeth.
He sighed and opened his eyes, and only then realized that part of the reason he was so warm and cozy was because he was still wrapped up in the nest Leo had helped him build.
Still was wrapped up in Leo’s arms, too.
Cody held out for approximately two seconds before he gave into the urge to nuzzle at Leo’s throat, taking a deep breath of Leo’s scent.
He rubbed his cheek against Leo’s sleep-warm skin, and then had to bite down on the whine that wanted to emerge when he remembered that he and Leo would have to use Cody’s scent blocking soap to leave the house.
Cody didn’t want to use the stupid soap. He wanted people to know he had Leo’s scent on him. That Leo was wearing Cody’s. He didn’t want to have to hide it. He was so fucking tired of hiding. He didn’t want to bury this incredible, precious thing that was blooming between him and Leo.
He didn’t want Leo to think Cody wanted to hide him either. The last thing Cody wanted was for Leo to think that Cody was upset or ashamed that Leo…loved him. He didn’t want to put down Leo’s feelings like that, or try to shove away how stupid fucking grateful he was to have Leo in his life.
How much Cody loved him back.
Because lying there with Leo, breathing deep and even beside him in their nest, one Cody had built because of Leo’s encouragement…
Cody realized just how much he wanted more mornings like this one.
He wanted all his days to start with waking up next to Leo.
He wanted all his nights to end going to bed with him.
He wanted to kiss Leo, because that was something they hadn’t done yet. He wanted to know what it was like to have sex with Leo when Cody wasn’t out of his mind with heat or hurting or both.
Leo…Leo had said that he wouldn’t be leaving Cody to go to morning skate. Presumably that might mean he also wouldn’t be leaving Cody for the game that night.
Which meant that neither of them would have to use the stupid soap—at least for now. Cody could just live like this for a little while, in a world where he and Leo smelled like each other and heat, and it was okay.
Cody’s omeganess was okay here. Even his heats were okay.
Leo had seen Cody in heat and loved him. He’d seen Cody at his absolute worst and still loved him.
Cody sniffed and wiped at his eyes. His emotions were still all over the place because of his heat, but at least this time they were mostly good ones.
Leo made a snuffling sound and then his breathing changed and he opened his eyes, blinking at Cody.
Cody gave him a watery smile. “Morning.”
Leo’s brow furrowed and he reached out, cupping Cody’s cheek. “What’s wrong?” He asked, voice sleep rough as his thumb rubbed away tears. “Are you hurtling?”
Cody shook his head, turning to kiss Leo’s palm. “Nothing’s wrong,” he said quietly. “It’s just…sinking in. That you’re here. With me. That you want to be here with me.”
“‘Course I do,” Leo muttered, still sounding half-awake. “Love you.”
Cody took a deep breath. “I love you too.”
Leo blinked very fast, and then his eyes widened. He looked fully awake now. “You—”
“Love you,” Cody repeated. “Yeah.”
Leo licked his lips, expression uncertain. “Not…not because you feel obligated, or because I’m helping you with your heat?” He sounded pained. “Because Cody, you—you don’t owe me anything, I promise, I—”
“You know what I was thinking about?” Cody interrupted, setting his hand atop Leo’s. “When you woke up?”
“What?” Leo asked, Adam’s apple bobbing.
“I was thinking about how despite how shitty I’ve felt this heat, how lucky I am that you’ve been seeing me through it.
I was thinking about how I was going to have to use my scent-blocking soap and I didn’t want to, because I wanted to smell like you.
And I want you to smell like me.” Cody took another breath and pushed through.
“I was…I was thinking about how I want to keep waking up next to you. Even without a heat giving me a reason for it.”
“Then why were you crying?” Leo asked, smelling immeasurably pleased while sounding completely bewildered.
“Because I’m happy,” Cody mumbled, shuffling forward to press his face into Leo’s neck again. “I’m happy you’re with me. And also because I’m an emotional wreck right now.”
He was so close to Leo like this that Cody both heard and felt Leo’s sharp intake of breath, followed immediately by Leo closing his arms around Cody and holding him tight.
“Can’t say I love that you’re feeling like a wreck,” Leo said into Cody’s hair, “but I’m really happy you’re happy, sweetheart.
That I’m—that I’m helping to make you happy. ”
“You have no idea how much you help,” Cody said. “Not just even right now, during this stupid heat, but just in general. So don’t doubt yourself or…or me. Because I love you and you make me happy. Okay?”
“Okay,” Leo said quietly, looking at Cody with wonder.
I want to kiss you, Cody thought, opening his mouth. Can I?
Cody’s stomach took the opportunity to growl.
“Fuck,” Cody said, cheeks burning. He hid his face in his hands. “Sorry.”
“How about let’s not apologize for being hungry,” Leo said, gently pulling Cody’s hands away from his face. “Considering you’ve barely eaten for the last two days—and we both skipped dinner yesterday too.”
“Sorry,” Cody said again, mortified. Because sure, he’d missed plenty of meals in his time during his heats, but that wasn’t call to make Leo miss one.
“What’d I just say?” Leo said, kissing Cody’s knuckles. “No apologizing.” Leo sat up, then leaned over to pluck something up off the side table—
Oh, the tote bag they’d filled with snacks. Cody had forgotten about it.
Leo opened it and pulled out a packaged protein sugar cookie along with a bottle of water. “Would you like to start with this?”
“Cookies for breakfast?” Cody asked, feeling well enough to sound teasing.
“Literally anything you want to eat for breakfast,” Leo retorted. “But I know you like these.”
“They’ve got like 800 calories, twelve grams of protein, and they taste good,” Cody pointed out. “Plus they’re nice and soft.”
“Hence why cookies for breakfast,” Leo said with a grin, tearing open the package. Then he looked from the cookie to Cody. “C’mere sweetheart, sit up? I’m not about to let you choke.”
Cody heaved a sigh, because he was comfortable, but obligingly sat up. Then he shuffled forward until he was sitting sideways in Leo’s lap before he even really registered that he’d moved.
“Oh, uh,” Cody fumbled for words. He felt more clear-headed than he’d really been in nearly forty-eight hours, and he couldn’t explain away sitting in Leo’s lap to the fog of a heatwave.
He’d just wanted to. It had felt right. “I can move?” He offered sheepishly.
Though he made no attempt at giving Leo more space.
Leo curled an arm around Cody’s back. “I’d rather you didn’t,” he said like an admission, and held a piece of cookie to Cody’s lips.
Well. Alright then.
Cody rubbed his cheek against Leo’s chest as he chewed, feeling pleasure down to his toes.
By unspoken agreement, neither of them talked much while they ate their packaged-snack breakfast, aside from Leo asking if Cody wanted more of something, or if he wanted something different, and offering him water.
Cody accepted it all with that warm pleasure still thrumming through him, and it was only once they were both done eating—Leo having finished two protein cookies and several handfuls of trail mix on his own—that Cody tuned back into his body enough to realize…
“I’m…I’m probably going to have another heatwave soon,” Cody said. “Maybe not in the next five minutes, but probably in the next thirty or so.”
Leo nodded sharply. “Okay. That gives us a little time. We can clean up a little, get some more supplies—”
Too much time and not enough, Cody thought, glancing at his watch. “I’ve got to call Hen,” he made himself say. “And let her know…” his breath hitched. “Some of it.”
“She’ll be on your side,” Leo repeated, giving him a squeeze. “And I’ll be right here with you, okay? I’ll be with you.”
“Yeah,” Cody sighed. “But also you’ve got to be with me, because the last time I left the nest with you still in it, my body ceased to function.” His elbow was already sporting a nasty bruise.
“Which is why we’ll be calling your doctor after we call Hen,” Leo said matter-of-factly. “If there’s time before your heatwave. Right?”
Cody sighed again. “Leo, I…I don’t really have a regular doctor, okay?”
Leo stilled. “Excuse me?”
Cody flapped a hand. “I mean I—I do have a doctor, obviously, but like, I mean. I see the team doctor for any real like…doctor stuff.”
“The team doctor,” Leo said blankly. “Who isn’t specialized in omega health and treatment.”
“Um, I guess? Yeah,” Cody said meekly. “But being an omega doesn’t change how I need to be treated if I get hurt or something so—”
“Yes it fucking does,” Leo said, sounding angry now.
But he wasn’t pushing Cody away—if nothing else, he was holding Cody tighter.
“Your body chemistry and your hormones and how you interpret and react to pain is different from alphas and betas. Omegas typically have a higher pain tolerance for one thing, and omegas can react to medications differently than alphas. And—and speaking of medications, who’s writing your scripts for the inhibitors?
Because no doctor worth their doctorate should have been letting you take inhibitors for over a decade without pause—”