Chapter 39
aimee
I hadn’t counted passing days this obsessively since after the fall.
I was counting the seconds, minutes, hours and days that passed where everything was different—had changed. Now, I was back to counting and it hurt.
Three days of trying to convince my family I was fine, keep Orion from finding Lukas and kicking his ass, and plaster a smile that I knew looked beyond fake onto my face.
Five days after, Eloise and I were tucked behind some evergreens, phones out and ready. Orion was finally proposing to Annalise.
“He should be paying us,” Eloise grumbled.
“Shush, they’re coming.” I whispered.
She grumbled again, trying to find a position that was comfortable. I was on photo duty, while Eloise filmed it.
I heard the crunch of boots on the mix of salt and gravel.
I swallowed past the lump that was about to go down my throat.
Orion had no idea that this was the place where Lukas had planned the picnic—where he’d brought me to skate.
There was a little gazebo off to the side that we hadn’t used, but Orion had requested some champagne, candles and flowers to be set up.
I bit my lip and sucked in a deep, quiet breath.
The twinkling lights were flickering on, and the sun was starting to set.
Eloise already had her phone out, and I quickly ducked out from the trees to grab some scenery shots.
I managed to tuck myself away just as Orion and Annalise came around the corner. I heard her gasp.
“I love it here,” Annalise said, her voice wistful.
“It sure is beautiful.”
I heard Eloise melt because my brother was staring at Annalise like she hung the moon and the stars in his whole world. I took more photos and quietly wiped at the tears that had started to fall.
“I’m so glad we came on this trip. I love your family.”
I watched as my brother lowered himself onto one knee while Annalise was turned away.
“Anna, baby?”
Annalise turned around, and her hands flew to her mouth.
“I have loved you from the moment you agreed to let me take you out. You’ve stuck by me through so much, and I want to be there for you until the end of time. You’re my best friend, the light of my life. I want to spend the rest of our lives together.”
“Oh my God,” Annalise breathed out, emotion heavy in her voice.
“I know you’ve been waiting for me to ask you this, and I know you went snooping and found a ring ages ago.”
Annalise laughed, tears rolling down her cheeks.
Orion grinned. “And maybe you thought I was procrastinating or something. But I was waiting for this moment. Annalise, baby, if you’ll have me, will you marry me?”
I snapped more pictures.
The ring was an heirloom piece—it belonged to Annalise’s mother.
Neither of her parents were around—I remembered the day Orion got the call that they’d been in an accident and he’d dropped everything to get to Annalise.
Her grandmother was her only family left, and when Orion had started this process, he’d gone to her first. He showed me the ring, and it was perfect. , Annalise would love it.
Annalise gasped, and buried her face in her hands when she saw the ring.
Her mother’s ring was nestled in the box.
Orion stood up, pulling her into a hug.
“No! Nonono, get back down there! I haven’t said yes yet!”
She pushed him away and back down onto a knee. She held out her trembling hand, and he pressed a kiss to it before taking the ring and sliding it onto her finger.
“So that’s a yes?” He teased.
I snapped photo after photo as Annalise wrapped her arms around Orion’s neck and cried. When she leaned back, Orion wiped his thumbs under her eyes, while she stared at the ring.
“The ring I found?” She asked.
“A cheap one I got from an online retailer. You can wear it when we go traveling, so nothing happens to this one. I also knew you’d started snooping through my drawers.”
A laugh bubbled out of her, and she kissed him.
I was so happy, but ache was forming in my chest and tears pooling in my eyes.
“I’m your fiancée!”
When he led her over to the gazebo and champagne, Eloise and I stood up, and when Annalise saw us, she started crying again. Orion popped the cork and had filled two flutes by the time we’d made our way over.
“Your parents are going to freak,” Eloise said. “Congrats!”
“Don’t tell them, it’ll be their Christmas present.” Orion said, before pulling me into a hug. Annalise pulled me away from him and wrapped her arms around me. “We’re going to be sisters!”
I laughed and hugged her back, the ache dulling just a little bit. Annalise demanded to see the pictures, and she shot one off to the group chat.
Book Babes
Val named the conversation “Book Babes.”
Annalise
LOOK
[sends pic of engagement ring]
Aimee
[sends pic of proposal]
Val
NO FUCKING WAY
Ellory
Annalise! That’s stunning!
Tell Orion he has good taste.
Isabella
You guys look so cute!
Eloise
Annalise is the only person I’d give Orion up for
Cami
Hi, it’s me your girlfriend
Eloise
You know he’s my hall pass
Cami
Annalise, marry him quickly please LOL
Eloise
babe!
Cami
When you get home…
Eloise
Rowan
ohmyfuckinggod! I’M SO EXCITED FOR YOU GUYS
Jessa
TWO DAYS LATER
The Lodge was surprisingly quiet this morning. The lobby was empty and we were gathered around the tree near the fireplace. I tried not to think about the small gift I’d picked up for Lukas. It was sitting upstairs in my room.
Eloise had asked if I wanted to still give it to him. I would drop it at the front desk later and ask for them to deliver it…maybe. I wasn’t sure yet. Keeping it felt like I was hanging onto something that was over, but the idea of not giving it to him sent a sharp pain piercing my chest.
I gave Eloise a shirt that had a picture of a raccoon on it and it said ‘in my defense I was left unsupervised’ and she cackled. She’d picked me up a shirt that when I read it, I felt my cheeks heat and I laughed.
“Cliterature? Really?”
“I know how you like your spicy romances.” she said with a grin and a shrug.
“Val sent you the link to it, didn’t she?”
“I was sworn to secrecy.”
I let Mom read the shirt, and she laughed. Orion cleared his throat, and I ignored the sadness that was sitting heavy in my chest, and I waited for them to reveal to our parents that he’d proposed.
He opened his mouth, but Annalise didn’t wait. She held her hand out, and Mom jumped up, immediately pulling Annalise into a hug.
“Oh my gosh!”
I watched as Dad stood up, and pulled Orion into one as well, and I felt the smile slipping off my face, and I quickly pulled it back into place.
The ache of sadness spiked, but I still pushed it away. It was a happy day, and I could be happy for them—I was happy for them. I could be happy and sad at the same time.
THE NEXT DAY
Mom invited Zara to join us for breakfast. Apparently, Lukas hadn’t been around much.
“It’s always like this right before a race. We rarely see him because he’s always training.”
“Well, you’re always welcome to come hang with us if you need company,” Mom said.
Zara smiled and took a bite of her food.
“I have my trial with Brennan at the start of the year,” she said, indicating to her phone.
“Congrats,” I said, swallowing my bite. “He’s a bit of a hardass, but if he likes you, and I’m sure he will, he will be your biggest supporter.”
“Will…” she paused, swallowing. “Will I see you around the rink?”
And then it dawned on me, and I squeezed Eloise’s hand in mine under the table.
Zara would relocate to my town. This also meant Lukas would be there—at least part of the time.
His training schedule was flexible, and his parents were currently living in London for work.
He would be spending time in my town, where I live if Brennan picks up Zara. And he undoubtedly would.
“Possibly. I know Brennan’s daughter wants me to watch her perform.”
She gave me a small smile.
“Will…will you come to my trial?” she asked, her voice quiet and unsure.
“Text me the date and time and I will try and be there,” I said, hoping she couldn’t hear the tightness in my voice.
Zara’s smile grew as she nodded.
I was reluctant to say yes, even though I wanted to be there, I wanted to see Brennan’s reaction. I knew Lukas would be there, and I wasn’t sure if I’d be ready to see him.
Zara’s smile faltered, and I watched her eyes focus on something somewhere behind me. And then, I felt the weight of his eyes. My body tensed up. I wanted nothing more than to turn around and look at him, but I didn’t.
I couldn’t.
Eloise squeezed my hand in reassurance, and I was glad that Orion was preoccupied by my parents.
Zara quietly stood up and after giving Mom a hug, left.
And I swallowed back the burn of tears that threatened.
I ignored Mom’s look of concern and instead focused on my breathing and not trying to let it all drag me under.
“Do you want to go back to the room?” Eloise asked.
I shook my head. I’d spent enough time there, and my therapist might have gently…
albeit bluntly told me that I needed to stop hiding from my hurts.
I’d spent over an hour on a video call with her, monopolizing the room while Eloise did whatever.
I’d spent the first day wallowing with Eloise, the second day had been spent talking with my therapist and avoiding.
Today was the first step of trying. Trying to be present and not letting the bad cloud out the good.
12 DAYS AFTER THE FIGHT
I spent the morning recounting the weight of the guilt and all the dreams I’d been having, to my therapist. She’d sat there and listened, and then had been quiet for a little while. I’d been drained physically and emotionally. A headache had formed and was a constant throb from holding back tears.