Chapter 37 #2
“How many?” I know what I’m doing. I’m distracting myself.
Trying to keep my anger alive. Trying to remind myself of what he did.
That he’s been interfering in my life. Following me.
Spying on me. Keeping me in a bubble where no one else can touch me.
“How many guys have you scared away from asking me out?”
“I don’t know.” He gives me that shitty Riggs smirk. The one that makes me want to kiss him senseless, right before I knock his head off his shoulders. “You were right—I can’t count that high,” he tells me in a tone completely void of anything resembling remorse.
“Asshole,” I seethe up at him, my hands cranked into fists. “What gives you the right to just?—”
“I already told you—I promised Beck.” His hips shift against mine like he means to pull back but he doesn’t.
“Liar.” I don’t know why but hearing him say it, even now, brings on the sudden sting of tears.
“What do you want me to say, Gem?” Brow furrowed, the loose bracket of his fingers around the base of my throat tightens just a bit, his fingers gripping the back of my neck.
“That you’re right. That I don’t want you but I don’t want anyone else to have you either? Is that what I’m supposed to say?”
Nodding my head against his grip, I stare up at him, his face swimming and blurry behind the sheen of tears clouding my vision. “Yes.”
“I can’t.” Forehead crumpling into a scowl, Riggs shakes his head.
“I can’t say that. I can’t say that I don’t want you because it’s a lie, and we both know it.
I want you so fucking bad I can’t think straight half the time.
So fucking bad that I’m following you around like a goddamned stray, and stuffing guys who used to be my friends into fucking gym lockers just for looking at you because the thought of one of them even touching you makes it impossible for me to fucking breathe—not because I don’t want you to be happy but because it still isn’t me. ”
Heart stuttering in my chest, I look up at him and shake my head. “Riggs?—”
“I’m so fucking mad at you, Gem.” Chest heaving slightly, Riggs dark, cloudy gaze drops to my mouth.
“You ruined everything. You fucking ruined it and no matter how hard I try, I can’t fix it.
I can’t…” Flicking his gaze upward, his eyes lock with mine.
“I’m losing my goddamned mind, and the promise I made your brother is the only thing keeping me from going completely?—”
Pushing myself onto my tiptoes, I gingerly press my mouth against his, skimming the tip of my tongue along the curve of his bottom lip the way he did mine on my birthday.
When he feels the trace of my tongue across his mouth, Riggs drags in a sudden, harsh breath and jerks back, putting himself out of reach—but he doesn’t let me go. He doesn’t walk away.
“Gem…” Staring down at me, that familiar mix of nausea and panic swimming across his face drops my heart into my stomach because I know what it means.
It means no.
It means I can’t.
Beyond frustrated, I unclench my hands and raise them to push him away, the words let me go, bubbling on my lips. Before I can say them out loud, something shifts inside of him, the sound of it breaks free, pushing up his throat on a defeated groan, seconds before he gives in.
Stepping into me, Riggs tightens his grip around my throat, shifting it to press the pad of his thumb into the underside of my chin, angling my mouth to sweep his tongue past my parted lips, tangling it wildly with mine.
Flinging my arms around his neck, I push my hands into his hair on a soft, needy whimper, the sound of it staining my cheeks, even while I meet the thrust and retreat of his tongue with my own.
This is nothing like my birthday kiss. That day by the river, Riggs was careful.
Almost detached. Like he was proving a point.
Explaining something to me he thought I might not understand.
This is different. There’s no point. No explanation.
Nothing but need and the sort of rough desperation that would scare me if I wasn’t past the point of no return.
On another groan that rumbles against my tongue, the thick, muscular arm wrapped around my waist drops lower, anchoring itself under my ass, a split second before Riggs lifts me.
My legs open, seemingly on their own, to wrap around his hips on a shuddering gasp when I feel the hard press of him against the juncture of my thighs.
Dragging his mouth away from mine on a muttered curse, Riggs presses the crown of his head into the tree trunk again, eyes squeezed shut, chest heaving against mine, like he’s fighting hard against something I can’t see.
“Riggs.” I whisper his name, fingering digging into the hard plank of his shoulder.
“Please—” Turning my head, my mouth brushes against the corner of his, my hips shifting against the hard length of him pressed into the center of me and he groans again, the rush of air cool against my flushed skin. “Please don’t?—”
“Shhh…” Eyes still closed, he turns his head to whisper it against my mouth while the thumb pressed against the underside of my chin sweeps down the length of my throat to rest against the base of it.
“Just give me a second. Just…” Lifting his head, Riggs looks down at me, his expression hidden by the shadows between us, and I’m sure this is it.
The part where he leaves. Pulls away and retreats behind the wall of promises he’s built between us, but he doesn’t.
Pulling his hand away from my chest, Riggs reaches back and uses it to pry my gripping fingers away from his shoulder to cradle them in his own.
Breath caught in my throat, I watch while he turns my hand in his to press his lips against the side of my palm.
Under it I can see his hand and the place where I bit him, the raised row of welts peppered with blood staining my cheeks with embarrassment.
“Mmmm…” Misreading my expression, Riggs gives me a brief, single head shake.
“We’re in this together now, Gem,” He whispers, the brush of his mouth against my palm sending shivers down my spine.
Hand still cradled in his, he pulls it downward to push it into the space where he’s pressed against me.
“No backing out now…” Dark eyes still locked on mine, Riggs skims his thumb across my knuckles while he shifts his grip on my hand, letting go of it completely.
Dipping his head again, he presses a soft kiss against the corner of my mouth while his fingertips skim the thin layers of soft, damp cotton that covers me.
“I’m gonna hate myself tomorrow…” Rubbing me through my sleep shorts, Riggs groans against my mouth when he feels how wet I am.
“I’m probably going to hate you even more. ”
“I don’t care. As long as you don’t hate me right now…
” Eyes wide, I whimper softly when I feel his fingertips push past the thin crotch of my cotton sleep shorts to grip the elastic edge of my panties.
Mouth parting slightly, Riggs watches me carefully.
Moves slowly as the backs of his fingers skim along sensitive skin before pulling them to the side.
Exposed, heart pounding in my chest, I stare up at him because I don’t know where this ends.
How far he’s going to let this go before he remembers how wrong he thinks it is.
All I can hope for is never.
“Touch yourself,” he demands quietly, proving he’s still just as lost as I am. “Make yourself come while I watch.”
“I don’t…” Cheeks heating, I shake my head. “I don’t know… I’ve never…”
“It’s okay.” Something that looks very much like relief ghosts across his face. “I’ll talk you through it.”
I don’t think about it. Why he’s asking. Why he won’t do it himself. Won’t let himself touch me.
I just do it.
Eyes still locked on his, I slide tentative fingertips along the slick curve of my bare pussy, hips shifting restlessly, moan locked in my throat, when I reach the top of my slit.
“Fuck.” The rough curse skates across my mouth, the arm he has anchored under me tightening.
“Right there…” Lifting me higher until I can feel the hard press of his cock against the back of my teasing fingers.
“Now rub your clit for me…” When I start to move, circling and skimming my throbbing clit, he tilts his gaze downward into the bare slip of space between us.
“Slow… go slow…” he says on a harsh expel of breath, the arm holding me digging its fingers into my hip so hard it almost hurts.
“Does it feel good?” He looks up at me when he asks, his dark, heated gaze falling to my mouth.
“Does touching yourself for me feel good, Gem?”
“Mmm…” Whimper caught in my throat, I nod my answer, the arm I still have wrapped around his neck tightens, pulling him even closer, closing the space between us.
“Say it.” Another demand, this one delivered on a rough, desperate groan. “Tell me how good it feels.”
“So good…” My answer snags on a sharp gasp when he rolls his hips against mine, pushing the tease of my fingers even harder into the apex of my trembling thighs. “Riggs…”
“Fuck, Gem.” The fingers gripped around the crotch of my shorts and panties tighten, jerking them even further to the side, so hard I feels the seams holding them together give way.
“You’re so fucking pretty…” Pulling his hand from between us on a frustrated groan, he lifts it to my face, wrapping it around my jaw to hold my mouth steady under his, hips flexing and pumping against the fingers I have pressed against my clit.
Dipping his mouth to mine, Riggs nips me with his teeth.
“So fucking pretty when you’re about to come… ”