34. Jessica
JESSICA
Isat in silence for a minute after hanging up the phone. That didn’t give me the thrill I thought it would because I’d already moved on. That thought was a bit jolting because it hadn’t been that long since that whole thing started.
Nothing had gone the way I’d expected. How could I have known that Julius would show up that night and set everything else that followed in motion? When I think that had I not left Dale when I did, we might not be together now, I get a cramp in my tummy.
Is life really this unpredictable? The trajectory had gone way off course and was now headed in a direction I’d never allowed myself to dream of. The weirdest part is that I have no lingering doubts about Julius.
After years spent protecting myself from him, avoiding him, we had come together as if it was meant to be. I sometimes get the feeling that I was not the one in control, that this was destiny or fate, and that I should just let things take their natural course.
That pain that had haunted me for so long no longer feels as monumental as it once did. Somewhere along the way, I had let it all go, just like that, and when I think about it, it doesn’t seem real. Where was all that anger and dislike?
The biggest thing is that I don’t expect him to hurt me ever again, which has got to be the strangest damn thing about this whole ordeal because up until a short while ago, he was the one who’d hurt me most in my life. The one person I’d sworn never to forgive.
Did I ever think that I would give him a second chance? It’s not my usual way of doing things. No one who had ever crossed me was allowed back by my side. So why has it been so easy with him? I keep searching for the answer to that one question and come up empty every time.
My heart, that deceitful witch, has gone rogue.
If my mind comes up with a million reasons not to give in, not to trust him, that bitch rolls over and plays possum; she wants no part of it.
Not to mention Susie, that taotie between my thighs who has been gorging herself on dick for the past week.
I think she might mutiny if I tried to leave.
But is it really safe to let my guard down like this? Isn’t everything too perfect? Granted, from what I’ve seen and heard, he’d be screwing himself over royally if he didn’t do right by me and I did indeed walk away again; but was that enough?
I’m skirting the real issue here, but the truth is that part of me that had convinced myself that I hated him and would never forgive him was dead and refused to be revived. No matter what anyone else said, or how accepting my whole family had been, only I knew the depths of the pain he’d caused.
And still, with all that, I haven’t had a negative thought about him since he came back into my life. I don’t like thinking that I’m being stupid, and I know for a fact that I’m not the forgiving type, so why was it so easy for me to jump back into those muddy waters?
I’ve tried, believe me, I’ve tried, to hold on to some semblance of the girl who had sworn never to let our paths cross again, but she’s gone. I think what’s really nagging at me is all the time we've wasted between us.
How far would our lives have been had we not had that one night that went so wrong back then? Would we already be married, like his brother and his wife? With two kids and making plans for a third?
My mind only wanders to places like this, daydreaming the way I once did with my head in the clouds. Even the shards of my old friend that he’d left scattered on the floor couldn’t get a rise out of me. The man was so jealous he’d killed a damn robot.
I’m pretty sure my sister had told him about Toby’s other functions to start trouble, though she claims she was making it easier for me to explain.
No matter, I’ll just make another one to keep him on his toes.
The thought made me grin as I imagined the six-foot metal contraption standing at attention in some corner, just waiting to be used whenever he gets on my nerves.
That’s the threat I’d used on him anyway, even though I had no intentions of ever doing such a ghastly thing. Poor Toby had been my sparring partner for almost ten years; he was my buddy who’d kept me sane on many days when there was no other outlet. Now he was gone at the hands of a madman.
I think Julius is just mad that Toby was there when he wasn’t. He seems to think the robot was competition, the jackass. I had just had that thought when he walked out of the bathroom, looking all hot in his towel, hair wet and eight-pack on full display.
It grinds my gears that this is all it takes to get me going. Just one look at his body, and I forget all my grievances. Such a cliched thing to do, especially since he hadn’t suffered nearly enough for what he’d done.
“Hey, coward!” What? Just because I’ve forgiven him doesn’t mean I’m going to make his life easy. He’s got a lot to make up for after all, and if I let up on him too soon, he just might get too big for his britches again.
JULIUS
There goes my little pain in the ass again. If I hadn’t just heard her with my own ears, I’d believe she was still holding on to anger from before. She throws that shit in my face every chance she gets, and I’ve long come to suspect that she was doing it on purpose; now I know that it’s true.
The little sneak pouts and looks hurt every time she loses an argument, and I usually just give in because I owe her, but now I’ve got her number. I just stood there, wrapped in a towel, watching her to see if there was any hint anywhere of her subterfuge, but she hides it well.
Her glares are enough to melt steel, and her tongue is as vicious as a wasp. She can conjure up anger at the drop of a hat just to keep me in line, and I usually just let her have her way because everyone else is on her side. But now I’ve got her number.
Does it really matter, though, whether I know that she’s using the past as a battering ram against me? Aren’t I already programmed to always give in to her? I’ve seen that shit with my father and brother enough to know how it works. I’m never going to win another argument as long as I live.
“Who were you talking to?”
“My lover!” She dragged out the last word. Even though I knew she was full of shit and had heard the whole conversation, hearing her call him that still pissed me off. She didn’t expect me to jump on her and wasn’t quick enough to stop me.
“Say that again. I dare you.” She wiggled her hips a little, feeling the hardness that was pressed down against her, and looked at me with defiance.
“You heard me the first time; why make me repeat myself?” She fought a laugh and won, but there were remnants of a smile on her amazingly beautiful face.
Sometimes it hits me out of nowhere just how absolutely gorgeous she is.
My heart aches in a good way at my luck that she’s the one.
A bundle of enigmas that makes no sense in one package.
She looks innocent enough for everyone to buy her bullshit, but she’s mischievous enough to make me sleep with one eye open.
She’s the only partner who makes me sweat, and we’ve only just begun. I put up with her shit when I would’ve sent anyone else packing long ago. Why is that? Is it just the curse? No, somehow I don’t think so. That shit doesn’t stop me from having a brain.
Is it because I know I owe her for the way I acted back then? That’s not it either. It’s something more, something deeper, elemental. A part of me that belongs only to her, to us, and to the life we’d started to weave that excluded everyone else.
There was no room between us for anything else. I realized as I looked down at her that I’d given in. It was as simple as that. I’d stopped running from her and, most importantly, from myself. But who knew giving in would feel this good?
There was nothing in her eyes but me, no matter what her mouth said.
To think that I’d almost lost out on a love like this makes me break out in a cold sweat at odd moments.
I lay awake at night, long after I’d put her to sleep, just looking at her and thanking my lucky stars that this time I’d gotten it right.
Now she was mine, as she was always meant to be. I bit her lip to get a rise out of her but she was right there with me, nipping my lip in return. “Fine, you wanna play? I know just how to make her heel.”
“No, don’t you dare.”
She tried to escape my grasp, but I was way ahead of her. Even though her mouth yaps at me all day, her body never lies. It was a major boon to my ego the first time I realized that her body had this strange reaction to my touch.
Just the touch of my fingers can make her orgasm, and a kiss can send her into a spiral. And just her scent can make me lose all control. I guess that means we’re equally matched.
Making my way down her body, I opened her up with my fingers and stuck out my tongue for a taste of her succulent flesh. She moaned and gripped a fistful of my hair, struggling to win the fight, but I was nowhere near done with her. Then she decided to play dirty.
“Is that all you got?” She wrapped her legs around my head and tried to smother me; even nipping her inner thigh didn’t make her let up.
There was only one thing left to do. “You interrupted my meal.” I slipped out of her hold and made my way back up her body, gliding into her before she could catch her breath.
“Make it quick; I have things to do.” She tried rolling us over, but I kept her pinned beneath me, sliding in and out of her with rapid-fire speed. Her heat wrapped around me, sucking me in. Her wetness leaked out around my cock, making each thrust easier until she was opened all the way up.
She opened her mouth, but I was fast enough to stop her this time, covering it with mine until her mouth was filled with my tongue. I pulled her hands away from where she was digging her nails into my flesh and slammed them down hard against the bed, holding them captive under mine.
I surged my cock into her harder until she bucked beneath my weight and her pussy contracted. “Gotcha!” She hates when I rub my prowess in her face, but that’s what she gets for riling me up.
“That hurts.” She pouted up at me. Not this time. “It’s supposed to.” That set her off, as I knew it would, and the game was on. We made love the way most people fight to the death. Two strong people with no holds barred.
She caught me slipping and flipped me onto my back, grinning like a fiend. “My turn!” That look in her eye. What the hell did I unleash?