16. Chapter 13
“Lift your left arm, s’il vous pla?t,” Madame Gavreau instructed.
Caroline dutifully raised her arm so another pin could be placed.
The fitting was being done in her sitting room.
She stood on an old step stool she found folded away in an unused room, and before her was an old, heavy mirror Lucy had dragged in from God only knew where.
She had spent so many hours staring at her bored reflection that she was sick of her face.
Diya made a pleased sound at the new shape of the sleeve; Caroline wished she could just be done with this entire experience.
She knew she should be loving every moment of having one of the most talented dressmakers in the country making the dress she had dreamed of almost all her life, but all she could do was watch the clock as the hands slowly ticked towards sunset.
“You’re stunning,” Diya said to her before turning to the dressmaker. “The silk you chose is absolutely gorgeous. Is it imported?”
“Yes, but I won’t tell you from where. It’s one of my trade secrets.”
It was possibly the most Madame Gavreau had said at once the entire time she had been there. The woman was annoyed when she learned Diya would be there for the appointment, but Caroline felt she would have been annoyed no matter the situation.
She let out a deep breath before wincing and returning to her exact position before she got yelled at again.
Every time Caroline sighed, she was chastised for changing her position, which in turn would change the fit of her gown.
As was explained to her after her first sigh and reemphasized with every subsequent sigh.
Her eyes flicked to the window. She wasn’t sure if twilight was approaching or if it was only cloud coverage.
Based on the time, they were getting close, but she wasn’t sure just how much time they had left.
She needed to buy an almanac. At the beginning of the appointment, she mentioned to both Madam Gavreau and Diya that she wished to be finished well before sunset, but it didn’t seem as if either had listened to her.
“Are we almost finished?”
“Do you have a more important engagement, Miss Blythe?” she asked in her lilting French accent.
“No, I’m just growing tired. We’ve been at this for most of today, and I need to rest.”
“You’ll stand there until I’m done.”
“I can call Mrs. Thomas back to tell her you need a snack.”
Madame Gavreau shot Diya a look. “No eating in the dress.”
“I know you must be tired too, Diya; don’t think you have to stay on my behalf.”
“Don’t worry about me, I’m more than happy to stay. It’s such a pleasure to see you all bridal. Your mother must be devastated to be missing this.”
Madame Gavreau looked between Caroline and Diya carefully before she started pinning the dress again. “My next alterations are more sensitive in nature, so perhaps it is for the best if you leave.”
“Oh, all right. My mother would likely throw a fit if I missed dinner anyway. I’ll call on you later this week.”
“No,” Caroline said quickly. “I’ll go to your house next time. If you leave now, you should be able to get home before dark.”
“What is with your obsession with being home by dark? Do you expect some monster to pop up and take me from the road?” Diya said before leaving the room.
Yes.
She wanted to run after her best friend and tell her about the danger she was trying to save her from.
That she was being cold for Diya’s safety because she had invited the monster into all of their lives, but when she turned, the dressmaker accidentally pricked her with a pin, and she was pretty sure she swore in French.
“Sorry.”
“Don’t move. I’ll be very upset if you bleed on this dress.”
She didn’t want to bleed on the dress either, but she expected it was for a different reason as the sun sank lower on the horizon.
“You might want to think about leaving yourself before it’s too late.”
“I’m not afraid of the dark.”
Caroline wanted to tell her that maybe she should be afraid of the dark, but didn’t want to get stuck with a pin again.
“Well, isn’t this a lovely little scene?”
She froze as she saw Valeria behind her in the mirror. The cloud cover outside made her lose track of just how much daylight was left, and her calculations were wrong. Though she wasn’t sure how she missed the squeak of the opening door. Boredom must have dulled her senses.
“What are you doing here?”
“Admiring the view,” Valeria said as her eyes traveled down her body. Caroline squirmed despite the sharp glare she received for the movement. Heat flooded her face when she realized Madame Gavreau was witnessing the tension between them.
“I’m sure we’re almost done. I can find you afterwards.”
“But what if I want to watch?”
“Why?” Caroline’s brow furrowed.
“You’re very beautiful. It would be a waste if no one were around to see it.”
“People will see it at my wedding.”
The dressmaker moved her right arm into position to mimic the pins she placed on the other side. It embarrassed Caroline to have her there, but she was grateful the other woman was seemingly ignoring the conversation.
Valeria’s eyes darkened. “Your fiancé doesn’t deserve to see you so beautiful.”
“Well, he’s the one paying for it.”
“I’m not arguing whether he should pay, but that doesn’t mean he deserves anything else from you.”
“Then who deserves to see me like this?”
“Me.”
“My designs are meant to be seen,” Madame Gavreau scowled.
“My approval is more than enough. A man wouldn’t know what to do with such splendor.”
Caroline wanted to apologize for Valeria’s rudeness, but the words stuck in her throat as she saw how Valeria stared at her.
Hooded eyes raked over her body before stopping at her bosom.
Her pink tongue darted from her mouth, and something in Caroline’s stomach clenched.
No one had ever looked at her with such desire before. Not even Edgar.
“Mr. Andrews will be quite pleased with your work, Madame Gavreau.”
The dressmaker made a small sound of what Caroline guessed was agreement, but she didn’t care about her reaction.
The jealousy that burned in Valeria’s dark eyes was what she craved, and it was even better than she imagined.
She should have been afraid of the dangerous glint in her eyes, but it only lit Caroline up from the inside.
“I wonder if you would still think that if you knew what your Mr. Andrews was up to right now.”
“What do you know?”
Guilt flooded her as she realized she had barely even thought of him the last few days. Edgar deserved her focus, but all she could think about was Valeria.
“I don’t have details,” Valeria said as she stalked across the room. “But I know what my pretty sisters are like and he won’t be wanting for attention.”
“What type of attention?”
“I’m not sure it’s the type of attention I should discuss with such a proper, gently bred lady.”
Oh. She certainly didn’t have the most experience with either men or relationships, but she knew what Valeria meant. It should have bothered her to think of him doing such things, but she couldn’t find it in her to care.
“What he does in London isn’t my concern as long as he returns to me.”
Valeria’s lip curled. “Madame Gavreau, leave us.”
“I’m nearly finished—”
“Now,” Valeria said with such authority it made Caroline shiver.
Madame Gavreau didn’t look happy, but she scurried from the room, taking her large collection of pins with her. Caroline turned to Valeria so she could see her and not just her reflection in the mirror.
“Do you really not care what your fiancé is doing while he’s away?” Valeria asked, stalking towards her like a predator ensnaring its prey. “Why he hasn’t come back or why he isn’t writing to you?”
It bothered her, but not in the way Valeria wanted it to. It was frustrating that he had been gone for so long and wasn’t communicating, but it didn’t hurt. Not in the same way it burned when Valeria mentioned The Count.
“I’m still going to marry him.”
“Because you need his money.”
Valeria accentuated her point by poking her stomach, and even though she wore her corset and didn’t really feel it, she still flinched.
“Yes.”
It wasn’t romantic, but it was practical. The kind of practicality she always knew would be her destiny.
“You don’t have to settle for a man who will always care about himself and his career more than you.”
“How do you know what I deserve?”
“Then what about what you want? Because there’s no way I believe this could be what you want.”
“What if all I want is you?”
Caroline could hardly believe the words tumbled from her mouth as she looked at Valeria’s deep brown eyes that swirled with more emotion than she could recognize. Telling her the truth felt like hurling herself off a cliff, but she had to know if Valeria would catch her.
“You want me? Even standing here in your wedding dress, you want me? In ways you will never, ever want your husband.”
“Yes.”
Valeria’s eyes blazed at her answer. Their eye contact was potent, and Caroline was powerless to end it, but her answer would have been the same if her eyes were closed, or if she were in another room.
She wanted Valeria more than life itself, more than air.
Even though she knew she shouldn’t, as Valeria could be the vampire she searched for and she was engaged and there was no future for them, Caroline couldn’t stop wanting her, and she was tired of pretending she didn’t.
Stepping off the stool, she grabbed Valeria and pulled her towards her for their first kiss in eight years.
The other woman was stiff for a few moments, long enough that Caroline’s bravery wavered before strong arms held her and soft lips kissed her back.
So much time had passed since their last kiss that Caroline had the chance to make it small in her head.
Insignificant. The feelings of a confused girl on the cusp of womanhood desperate to grow up any way she could.
This kiss wasn’t any of those things.