CHAPTER 22 #2
With a straight spine, she led Valeria from the room. She could tell by the sound of her swishing skirts that the vampire languidly followed. That set a fire within her. The absolute casualness Valeria had when she had the power to destroy Caroline’s life with a few careless words.
The side door to the dining room led to her father’s study, which was where she took Valeria since she wanted privacy for this conversation and one of the servants was more likely to catch them in the hallway.
The gas lamp on her father’s desk bathed the room in an amber glow.
It was enough light for her to see the details of Valeria’s face, the shine of her eyes and the flush of her cheeks.
“Are your wedding clothes stored in your father’s study?”
“What are you doing?” Caroline hissed, careful to keep her voice down. The door was thick, but she had spent enough time eavesdropping on her parents to know people could hear on the other side if they were loud enough.
“I’ve been making conversation. Which has proven to be rather difficult. He isn’t very forthcoming, is he?”
“You seem to be hellbent on having him find out about us. Is it a compulsion for you to ruin my life, or just a treasured hobby?”
Valeria snorted. “Please, he doesn’t have a single suspicion. What have we shared that you’re so worried about him finding out?”
“A mistake. Everything we’ve shared has been a huge mistake that I wish I could forget.”
Valeria’s eyes went flat as she flinched, as if Caroline’s words hurt. “Was it a mistake when I had my mouth on your cunt and you screaming my name? I couldn’t pry you from my bed, so it was a mistake you were willing to make over and over again.”
“I was weak.” Her eyes darted away; it was a difficult conversation, but she needed to stay strong. “It’s over now.”
Valeria snorted and took a step towards her.
“Your words may say that, but I don’t see the resolve in your eyes.
I can hear your heart race.” She reached out and pushed back a fallen lock of Caroline’s hair into her updo.
“Your breath hitched. I guarantee if I were to reach between your legs, you would be wet too.”
Caroline stepped back. Valeria wasn’t wrong, but they couldn’t keep doing this. Her back hit the door, and she flinched at the sound. At what Edgar may think. She mourned not having anywhere else to go when Valeria stepped forward again, crowding her space like the predator she was.
“I’m engaged.”
Valeria snorted. “You’ve been engaged every time we’ve fucked, and it’s never stopped you before. Why should it matter now that your beloved Edgar is here?”
“Because he’s in the next room. I can’t give him any reason to change his mind.”
“We could call him over to watch, and I’m sure he wouldn’t have a problem with what we are doing.”
Even the idea soured her stomach. Not only was Valeria hers, but she had no interest in sharing herself with Edgar like that. She would do her duty when the time came, but this was hers.
“Perhaps I find you distasteful now. Don’t think I didn’t notice how you weren’t in your room last night and now you’re here with flushed skin and pretty hair.”
“Jealous, cara?” Her hand lifted, and she stroked Caroline’s face, running her fingers over her cheek, across her jaw, and down her neck. “Do you wish it was your blood coursing through my veins, making me strong?”
Yes.
“No,” she spat out, even as her skin flushed beneath Valeria’s touch. “I may have offered yesterday, but I don’t want you feeding from me like a leech. I have never been more grateful in my life than I was when Mrs. Thomas interrupted us.”
“You talk so much of trust and how important truthfulness is to you, yet you are so frequently dishonest with me.” Valeria’s finger traced her collarbone, and she couldn’t suppress her shiver. “Although, I’m not terribly offended because the person you lie to the most has always been yourself.”
“I don’t lie to myself,” Caroline said, frowning. “I’m just not a creature of hedonism as you are. I fear you’ve forgotten what it’s like to be human. Or to have responsibilities.”
Valeria gave a dark laugh. “My responsibilities may not look like your martyrdom, but you can trust I never, ever forget them. You are not the only one burdened with purpose, no matter how badly you wish to believe you are.”
“Knowing I have a responsibility to others doesn’t make me a martyr. I’m glad to do my duty.”
“Then why are you marrying Mr. Andrews?”
“He’s a good match. A good friend and he will be a good partner in running the estate and eventually, a good father.”
“Those are the empty words women give because they know it’s what they should say. Hell, I’m sure those very same words could be used for at least a dozen young men in your small village. Why are you marrying Edgar?”
She hated the way Valeria spat his name as if it was poison.
Not when she had her own ties to The Count, a man who forced her into a life of depravity and murder.
How dare she judge her when Valeria’s own crimes were so much worse.
She flitted through life without care or consideration for those around her.
“You want to know why him, why now? It’s because I need his money.
I can’t go to London to look for a husband because I’m too scandalous an option for anyone respectable.
The only people who don’t whisper behind my back are in this village.
And the estate is running out of money. The house is falling apart around us. ”
“So you don’t love him? At all?”
“No.”
The word had barely left her mouth before Valeria’s mouth crashed into hers; their kiss was so messy and desperate that Caroline was powerless to her. Valeria was who she wanted. Who she had always wanted and likely always would want, no matter how ill-advised it was.
Valeria’s hand moved under her skirts before she broke away from her mouth. “Seeing him in there with you drove me to madness. Knowing he was so close to you. That you are so willing to give away everything that should be mine.”
Caroline gasped as her hand started its teasing strokes up and down her center. “I fear you will lead to my ruination with how much I want you.”
Valeria’s eyes flashed with satisfaction at the admission that made Caroline feel so bare. “Then it is as it should be. Even now I have you mewling against the door while he is too foolish to think such a thing could happen right under his nose.”
Her fingers started circling the bud between her thighs, and Caroline hit her head against the door, not caring about the sound.
Let Edgar find them. Valeria placed her thigh between Caroline’s to give her something to rest on so she didn’t have to worry about the strength of her legs, and she rolled her hips, taking everything Valeria was giving her.
“You’ve kept yourself at arm’s length for him when I’m the one who deserves everything from you.” Her fingers moved down and began slowly circling her entrance.
“So, that’s what you want? My maidenhead?” She tried to sound wry, but it came out breathy instead.
“Yes,” Valeria groaned, dipping her head to Caroline’s shoulder, inhaling against her neck before her tongue darted out to lick the sweat on her neck.
“You do not know how often I have dreamed of it. Fucking you with my fingers while I take pulls of your sweet blood. Even the thought drives me to madness; it’s what I dream about all day and why I wake up ravenous for you.
It’s why I’m upset you’re never in my bed at sunset. ”
“What would you do with me if I was in your bed when you woke up?”
Valeria groaned as her mouth worked its way down from her neck to her chest, alternating between licks and kisses with the occasional press of her teeth, as if that was truly forbidden, even though every brush of her teeth against Caroline’s skin made her core pulse.
“After a day full of the most divine torture in my mind without a hint of release? I want to sit on your face so you can feel what you do to me. Make you clean up the mess you made. I wouldn’t get off until I was fully satisfied, no matter how sweet your arousal bloomed around us.”
Her core pulsed again. God, how she wanted that.
To feel her weight and her heat and to know she surrounded her.
Owned her. She was pinned against the wall, entirely at Valeria’s mercy while her body was relentlessly teased, but not anywhere near her climax.
She needed to be touching her. Her hand went to Valeria’s bodice, fumbling into her dress and freeing her breast, giving a sharp tug to her nipple that made Valeria’s mouth stutter as she kissed across Caroline’s chest.
“You like that idea, don’t you? You’re drenching my hand. It would be so easy for me to slip inside of you, breaching your maidenhead. Ruining you for Edgar or any other man foolish enough to try to take what’s mine.”
The slow circles were driving Caroline to true madness.
All she wanted was to be plundered by Valeria.
Any other time they had been together, it had been easy to talk herself out of it, but now the reasons felt flimsy.
Life was so difficult and inconsistent that it didn’t make sense not only to keep denying herself pleasure, but to deny herself the only future she wanted.
“Do it.”
Valeria stilled, and Caroline circled her hips, trying to get her back into action, but nothing could move Valeria if she didn’t want to. Slowly, she lifted her head and looked up at Caroline’s eyes.
“What?” Her pupils were blown wide with pleasure.
“Pierce my maidenhead. Claim me for yourself. Make me scream so loud that Edgar comes to investigate, and he sees you inside me, and I tell him he can go to hell because I’m yours and always have been.”
“Why?”
“Because I’m sick of it, all of it. I’m tired of putting everyone before myself. Of caring about everyone’s happiness before my own. I don’t want to be everyone’s good girl anymore; I only want to be yours.”