28. Chapter 28
Kash’s lips pressed hard against Ody’s, his hand locked at the back of his neck. Ody didn’t move, frozen in disbelief, until his instincts snapped back. He shoved Kash off him, stumbling backward, breath uneven. “What are you doing?” he yelled.
Kash’s eyes locked on him with a strange, desperate intensity. “Ody… I’m not stupid. I’ve seen the way you are with Mano. You’re not just friends. There’s something there.”
Ody stared at him, eyes wide. “There’s nothing going on! What the hell are you talking about?”
Kash stepped closer. “You two sacrificed yourselves for each other. I saw it. I felt it. Don’t lie to me.”
“There’s nothing going on with Mano. Are you out of your mind? I have a girlfriend.” He took another step back, his pulse kicking hard.
“I’ve seen you. I’ve seen how far he’ll go for you. I’ve seen the way you look at him.”
Ody shook his head, backing off. “Even if that’s true, that doesn’t give you the right to kiss me!”
Kash’s lips twitched, like he’d been waiting for that. “So you admit something’s going on.”
“No! I told you, I like women!”
Kash held his gaze, unblinking. “Keep saying that. Maybe you’ll convince yourself.”
“Don’t make this about me. If you’re into guys, that’s your business.”
“I’m into you.”
Ody’s breath caught.
Kash. Of all people. The same guy who had put him through hell. And now he was saying he wanted him?
“I don’t want you to hate me anymore,” Kash said. “I came to talk because I want you to give me a chance.”
Ody stared at him. “A chance for what?”
Kash swallowed. “To get to know me. The real me.”
Ody let out a short, humorless laugh. “So the Kash who humiliated me and beat Mano with bats was who? A clone?”
Kash’s jaw tightened. “You said it yourself. I hit Mano. Not you.”
Ody leaned away from him, anger flashing in his eyes. “First of all, that doesn’t make it any better. And you still punched me in the restroom. Unless you conveniently forgot that.”
“I only did it because my guys were there. They couldn’t find out.” His voice cracked. “I couldn’t let them know.”
Ody blinked, stunned into silence.
“Even at the school that night…” Kash’s voice softened. “When we dragged you there… I told them not to hit you. Besides, I knew he’d show up for you. I knew Mano would take the beating instead.”
Ody’s jaw clenched. “So you’d spare me, and let him get the shit kicked out of him instead. Wow. That helps.”
Kash searched his face. “Do you want me to stop going after him?”
“If you want me to stop hating you, yes.”
Kash nodded quickly. “Then give me a chance.”
“I already told you, I have a girlfriend.”
Kash’s eyes hardened. “Don’t lie to me. You want him. That’s why you won’t go out with me.”
“I don’t want him!” Ody snapped. “We’re just friends!”
“Fine.” Kash took a slow breath. “Then do one thing for me, and I’ll leave.”
His shoulders tensed. “What thing?”
“Let me kiss you.”
Ody went still, eyes widening.
“If this means nothing to you, I’ll leave you alone.”
He didn’t touch Ody yet. He left space. Enough distance for Ody to push him, yell at him, hit him, anything. And Ody knew that. He knew he could stop this in a second.
But he didn’t move.
Not because of Kash. Not because he wanted him.
Because a part of him needed to understand himself.
Why that first kiss with Mano had affected him so deeply.
Why something in him had shifted. Why he still couldn’t get those honey-colored eyes out of his head.
He was twenty-one, and suddenly nothing about who he was felt clear anymore.
Kash’s hand slid to the back of Ody’s neck, holding him there as his gaze dropped to his mouth. He leaned in, closing the distance, and kissed him.
Ody’s face tightened. But when Kash’s mouth moved against his, a jolt of memory hit him, Mano’s lips, Mano’s kiss, the feeling he couldn’t let himself think about.
Kash pulled back after a few seconds. Their eyes met, both of them a little breathless.
The space between them was barely anything.
“We’re not done, you and I.” His voice was quiet as he brushed Ody’s jaw with his thumb. Then he turned and walked out.
Ody stood frozen, struggling to steady his breath.
Had he really just let a man kiss him like that? Without pushing him away? Without saying a word?
And why, in the middle of it… had his mind gone straight to Mano?
That night, his thoughts wouldn’t settle. He lay on the couch, his mind bouncing between Mano and Kash. He still couldn’t wrap his head around it. This had started a year ago, all because Kash wanted him and didn’t know how to approach him.
But how could someone treat a person they claimed to want so badly?
I could never treat Mano like that. He shook his head, the memory of Kash’s kiss surfacing again.
His fingers brushed his lips. In any other situation, he would have pushed him away. Hit him. Something. That’s what a straight guy with a girlfriend would have done.
But he hadn’t.
And worse, the whole time, he’d been thinking about someone else.
By Friday morning, he made his way to campus, still confused, embarrassed and unsure how to face his friends.
Was he starting to like guys? Or just Mano? And if it was just Mano… why had he let Kash kiss him? After everything he had put him through.
“Morning, man.” Steve smacked the back of his neck, snapping him out of it.
“M-morning.”
“You got your coffee yet?”
“Uh… no.”
They headed toward the cafeteria. The line was long, a handful of people ahead.
A couple of guys laughed as they stepped out of the line.
Ody lifted his gaze, and his eyes met Kash’s.
He looked down, his stomach tightening. Kash didn’t look away. He just stared. Then he walked past them with Pablo and Brandon.
“He’s keeping his mouth shut now. Wouldn’t dare say a word to you,” Steve muttered.
“Yeah, only because we’re here. Like hell he’d have the guts,” Chris added, while Ody stayed quiet.
Later, when class ended and everyone packed up, Kash and Ody reached the door at the same time. Instead of pushing through, Kash stepped aside and let him go first. Their eyes met again. Only for a second.
“What the hell was that?” Steve asked once they were in the hallway.
“Did he just let you go first?” Chris added, confused.
“I swear he’s up to something. Should I take him out before he makes his move?”
“No.” Ody’s voice came out sharper than he intended.
They stopped walking.
“What’s going on?” Steve narrowed his eyes.
“I just mean… let’s not pour gas on the fire. He hasn’t messed with me. Just leave him alone.”
“You feeling sorry for him now?”
“I’m not feeling sorry for him. I just…” Ody exhaled. “We’re not the kind of people who go around hurting others, right?” He glanced between his friends, who only sighed.
They walked him to the parking lot and waited for him to get inside his car. “See you Monday, man.”
“Later.” Ody waved and pulled out. As he headed toward the exit of campus, someone stepped into the road. Ody hit the brakes hard, his heart lurching.
For a second, neither of them moved. Kash stood there, hands at his sides, looking nothing like the guy who had kissed him yesterday… and nothing like the bully he had been all year.
Ody’s fingers tightened around the steering wheel. He should drive away. He should not even open the door. After everything, he shouldn’t have even stopped.
Kash walked slowly toward the driver’s window, cautious, like he was afraid Ody might actually run him over. “Ody,” he said, voice steady but soft. “Can we talk?”
Ody didn’t answer. Every instinct told him to drive off. But Kash wasn’t threatening him. Not now. Against his better judgment, he stepped out.
Kash gestured toward a low wall away from the busy path. Ody followed, a step behind, keeping a careful distance as they sat.
“I know you haven’t told anyone about yesterday,” Kash said. He hesitated, searching Ody’s face for any sign.
Ody gave a small nod.
“I’d rather it stayed that way.” His voice lowered. “Only one person knows I’m gay.”
Ody studied him closely.
“I don’t want anyone to know. So please don’t say anything. I know I treated you horribly, and you could use this against me, but…”
“I’m not that kind of person,” Ody said. Their eyes held. “I would never do that.”
Kash let out a quiet breath, a small, soft smile forming. “See? You’re a good person, Ody. How am I supposed to not like you?”
Ody blinked, caught off guard by the honesty.
“When I realized I liked you… differently, I didn’t know what to do.” He glanced off to the side before continuing. “You’re the first guy I ever felt something for.”
“I thought you always…”
“I only figured it out last year,” Kash cut in.
“Are you sure that’s what it is? Maybe you’re just confused.”
“I’m sure.” He looked down, fidgeting with his fingers. “I’ve done things since then. And if any of them knew… it would be over.”
“Why? If they’re your friends—”
“Those guys aren’t my friends. If they found out… things would get ugly. Fast.”
The way he said it made Ody’s stomach tighten.
“Can you promise me… no matter what happens… you won’t tell anyone?” he asked. For the first time, there was something close to fear in his eyes. “If this gets out, I’m done.”
Ody’s gaze dropped. “No one should have to live like that.”
Kash let out a short, tired laugh. “Yeah. Well. Some of us do.” His voice wasn’t sharp anymore. It was smaller somehow, stripped of the bravado he usually carried.
The silence that followed felt heavier than before.
“Will you… give me a chance?”
The quiet tone made Ody blink fast.
“I’m only asking because I thought I felt something in our kiss,” Kash continued. “But if I’m wrong… just say it. I’ll back off.”
Something flickered inside Ody, something he didn’t want to name. He hated that Kash could see anything in him at all. “What did you see in our kiss?” he asked.
Kash’s gaze held steady. “I’ve kissed straight guys before. None of them reacted the way you did.”
Ody’s breath hitched. His thoughts tangled. What did he mean, reacted? He had pushed him away, right? But not immediately. Not fast enough. Not like someone completely unaffected by the kiss.
“W-what do you mean?” Ody asked, though part of him already knew he wouldn’t like the answer.
“They punched me in the face.”
Ody’s breath caught as Mano flashed into his mind. When he kissed him, Mano didn’t hit him. He pushed him away, yes, but that was it.
“So… if someone doesn’t hit you… does that mean…?”
“It’s a good sign, I guess,” Kash said with a small smile.
Does that mean Mano might… like me?
“Do you wanna grab coffee sometime?” Kash asked.
Ody swallowed, the question pulling him back. “My friends already think you’re acting weird. Everyone will think it’s strange if they see us hanging out. Did your friends not ask anything?”
Kash exhaled. “Forget about them. What matters is your answer.”
“Kash… I’m with Anna.”
“You kissed me yesterday,” he said, looking straight into his eyes. “No one will find out. I promise. I just want you to stop seeing me as the bad guy.” He reached for Ody’s cheek, but he pulled away.
“Then stop hurting people.”
“I already have.”
“And Mano. You’re gonna leave him alone.”
Kash’s jaw tightened. “If he keeps pushing, I can’t just let it go.”
Ody didn’t flinch. His voice stayed calm, steady, almost cold. “If you touch him again, this ends here.” There was no hesitation or softness in it.
Kash looked down, trying to steady the jealousy and that tight pull in his chest when Ody made it clear Mano came first. “I’ll do whatever you want if it means you’re giving me a chance.”
Ody hesitated. If he gave Kash a chance… would that protect Mano? “Alright.”
Kash let out a slow breath, relief slipping through him. His eyes stayed glued to Ody, too focused and intense, like he was trying to memorize every tiny reaction. “Can I… kiss you again?” he asked. “The right way this time.”
“N-not here.” Ody stood fast, pulse spiking. He wasn’t agreeing. He just needed space, air, needed this conversation to stop before he said something even he wouldn’t understand.
Kash rose as well, eyes still locked on him. “When can we meet?”
“Uh…” Ody looked anywhere but at him. His mind was a mess, his chest tight, the whole conversation unraveling faster than he could process. “Tomorrow, I guess…”
Kash nodded once, almost too quickly. “Tomorrow. I’ll pick you up.” His fingers grazed Ody’s arm, so light it barely registered, yet Ody felt it all the way up his spine. He took a few steps back, still watching him, his voice softening. “Don’t… cancel on me, okay?”
Ody watched him disappear down the path, then got into his car and drove home in a daze. He had barely pulled into his driveway when his phone buzzed.
Mano: Hey
His breath caught. Of all people, Mano was the last person he expected to text first after what had happened between them. He forced his fingers to stay steady as he replied. Hey. How are you?
He couldn’t help thinking of the night they fell asleep together. Mano reaching for him in his sleep, crying in his arms. And now… Mano texting him first.
Mano: I’m good. When’s your next exam?
Monday
Wanna grab coffee tomorrow?
Ody stared at the message, eyes wide.
Mano never asked him out first. He never initiated plans.
Seeing his name next to that message hit him hard.
His chest tightened, his breath catching for a second as the memory of Mano reaching for him in his sleep flickered through his mind.
Only once the first shock settled did everything else come back to him, the plans he had made for tomorrow, the ones he wasn’t even sure he wanted.
I have plans tomorrow. Can you do Sunday? He sent it and waited.
This time, the silence stretched a little longer. He kept checking the screen, even though no new message had arrived. Finally, the notification appeared.
Are you bringing your car? We don’t have to take the bike
Something shifted inside Ody. Mano cared.
I don’t mind riding with you. I trust you. He pressed send, then stared at the screen, a knot forming low in his stomach. He should not have said that. Not now, not after everything. But it was the truth. He did trust him. More than he trusted anyone.
The moment he lowered his phone, the realization hit him like a weight. He was making plans with Mano, after agreeing to meet Kash tomorrow. After letting Kash kiss him, pretending everything with Anna was still fine.
His thoughts tangled in his chest, tight and messy. What was he doing? How could he want to see Mano so badly… when he had just promised Kash a chance? How could he text Mano like nothing was wrong, when part of him was still feeling the ghost of Kash’s kiss… and remembering Mano’s lips even more?
He pushed a hand through his hair, sinking deeper into the couch. He knew this was wrong. He knew he was crossing lines he swore he would never cross. But he also could not bring himself to stop.
Not with Mano. Not anymore.