Chapter 25 Genevieve
Genevieve
I see Kieran across the ballroom—even though he wasn’t invited, even though I know Mother would be horrified to see him here, dressed as a young blueblood in all his finery. Finery, I’m sure, that he borrowed from Gabe.
I can’t stop myself from going to him, knowing he’s snuck into my nineteenth birthday ball just to see me. He’s never done anything so bold as to push beyond his status in a public room. That boldness in him awakens a boldness in me.
“Kieran, you came.” The words escape me in a hushed urgency.
He stares down at me, taking in the way my deep purple bodice fits snugly against my flesh, boosting my breasts before it flares into a full skirt, giving the illusion of generous hips.
“You look—” He pauses, swallowing. “You look perfect, Gen.” Then his eyes dart around the room before he murmurs, “Maybe I shouldn’t have come. I can leave. I can—”
I don’t let him finish. I pull him close, drawing us both onto the ballroom floor, where a melodic song beckons.
I can feel the crowd’s heavy gaze on us as we move together. A suitor I’ve snubbed in favor of Kieran looks ready to interrupt, but none of that matters because Kieran came to me.
Kieran has publicly taken the risk to be in my arms in front of all the court.
After our meal, Prince Leland makes his way to my side, an indiscernible expression on his soft features. “May I have the first dance with you?”
“Of course.” The words stumble from me as the prince guides me toward the ballroom.
The room is cast in the same dark, mysterious shadows as dinner—romantic and sensual, a setting sure to make people think scandalous thoughts and perhaps act on them, only to become the subject of salacious gossip by morning.
Gabriel walks beside Queen Kalise, and it’s obvious they’re having some sort of dispute. Every time I’ve seen them together, they’ve done nothing but argue. It must be a novel feeling for my brother, having a woman not fall instantly for his charms and graces.
“Do you think Gabriel is alright?” Leland asks as we walk behind them. Gabe scowls at Kalise with such disdain I’m afraid he might burst into flames.
“Our siblings seem to have a proclivity for hating one another,” I remark.
Leland chuckles as the instruments begin to warm up. He hands me a glass of sparkling wine from a passing footman, and I take an eager drink. “Yes, I think you’re right. At least we’re the ones who agreed to this arrangement—and not them.”
“I don’t think anyone could make Gabe agree to marriage. He’s far too busy bedding whomever he pleases and preparing for the next conflict that may arise. He’d make a terrible husband.”
“And Kalise is far too afraid of herself to let a man get close. Their mutual hatred would lead to a bitter arrangement, I’m sure.
” He pauses, glancing around the room. His eyes fall on Kieran and a beautiful blueblood—a duke’s daughter, if I recall correctly.
Seeing Kieran hold her close makes my skin prickle.
“Speaking of mutual hatred,” Leland says, “I can’t help but notice you and Mr. Blackwell seem to be at constant odds. He’s become a friend, but if you’d rather not work with him, I’m sure we can find another organization to build the railway through Naseria.”
I set my empty glass on a passing tray, wishing for another drink. My mouth feels dry as the music begins, and Leland leads me across the room in steady steps.
“No, of course not. He’s the only one capable of completing the project anytime soon, and I’d prefer we connect our two countries. It will make travel easier when we wish to visit Icelantica.”
“Were the two of you acquainted before? There’s something familiar about your interactions.”
My breath catches. I should tell Leland the truth now. He deserves to know.
The music quickens, and Leland sends me into a spin. The words stick in my throat as he catches me, pulling me closer than I’d typically allow a dance partner.
“He reminds me of someone I lost,” I reply quietly. “I hate that he does, but that person was close to me—and he hurt me deeply.”
Leland’s face hardens. “A former lover?”
“I had lovers before our betrothal, and I assume you did as well. I’d never question you on your past, and I trust that you’re committed to this arrangement, as I am.”
His breath escapes in a hiss. “My apologies. It’s different now, after I’ve kissed you. I feel less of myself when it comes to you.”
My heart sinks. My gift has already ruined what we might have been before we’re even married.
“I’ve worried about that,” I admit. “It affects each person differently. Some become possessive, while others hate me for what my gift did to them. It’s why I stopped allowing anyone to touch me.”
His cool eyes settle on me as the music fades. “I can learn to control the urges. I promise.”
“I hope so. I’ve never tried to work past my curse with another person.”
His lips press into a tight line. “You have to trust me for this to work, Genny. I can’t make our marriage succeed if you’re too scared to try.”
Then he turns on his heel, leaving my side as he cuts across the ballroom toward his sister. My breath comes in short spurts, my heart heavy with the realization that I will never be able to let myself be close to Leland—not with my curse looming over our marriage.
Astoria approaches, two glasses of sparkling wine in hand. “Here, Genny. Are you alright?”
“Yes, of course. Why do you ask?”
“Well, I believe that’s the first time I’ve seen Prince Leland look anything but amicable.”
I nod. “My curse is taking some getting used to for him.”
She arches an eyebrow just as a young blueblood noble approaches and asks her to dance. Astoria looks at me, reluctant to leave if I still need her.
“Go. Have fun,” I say, knowing dancing isn’t exactly her idea of enjoyment. Still, she agrees, and he whisks her away. I’m about to find Mari when Kieran steps up beside me.
“May I have this dance?” he asks.
I should say no. I’m not as composed as I’d like to be, the edges of my emotions raw from my conversation with Leland.
But I don’t want to tell him no. I want to feel Kieran’s hands on me. I want to get lost in the music with him, if only for this one moment. If only to remember what we once had—and what we’ll never have again.
“Yes, of course,” I say as he places his bare hand on my back. I can feel the heat of him through the fabric. The warmth of his touch and the strength in the way he leads us across the ballroom are things I can never resist.
The music begins, and Kieran grips the fabric of my dress, pulling my body flush with his, forcing me to tilt my head up to meet his jade eyes.
He smells spicy and clean, and there’s a trace of stubble along his cheeks that I ache to touch, to feel the textures of him against my bare skin. But that’s impossible, even as I grow more desperate for it with every contact between us.
The ballroom is draped in deep purple fabric, creating private spaces in the alcoves.
As we move, I see couples slipping away into those secluded corners.
Yet whenever my eyes stray from Kieran, I feel an irresistible pull back to him, to his green eyes.
The other dancers blur into a muted stream of color as everything else seems to melt away.
“You’re staring, Princess.” His voice is rough, as if he’s just as swept away by our closeness.
“I could say the same of you, Mr. Blackwell.”
His lips curve upward as he leans closer. “Twice in one night you’ve used my name. I never thought I’d enjoy hearing the sound of it spill from your lips.”
“But it’s not truly your name, Kieran.”
He flinches slightly and pulls back. “As I told you, Kieran died long ago.” His lips brush my hairline, and I shiver at his touch.
“Then why have you allowed me to call you Kieran?”
He withdraws a fraction, his mouth quirking into a faint grin. “Perhaps from you, the name Kieran reminds me of all I’ve lost.”
His hand slides to my bare shoulder, and I recoil from the skin-to-skin contact.
I shouldn’t let him be this close. If my curse courses through him here, I don’t know how I’ll stop either of us from giving in to my own desires.
He’s always been my weakness, and even now, I can’t stop myself around him.
“Gen, I—” He stops, letting the words fade.
I look at him expectantly, but he doesn’t continue, leaving us suspended in silence. “What, Kieran?”
“Reconsider the wedding. Not because of me—but for yourself. Think about what you truly want.”
I shake my head. “You want me to beg for you? And yet now you’re the one who seems ready to beg.”
“You haunt me, Gen. I’m not myself around you, but none of that matters. What matters is that you need to do what’s going to make you happy.”
“Leland is a good man. He’s the best husband I can procure.”
He exhales in frustration, his strong hands tightening on my gown. “He’s a good man, but I’m afraid your gift will ruin both of you—and not in the way I intended.”
“Perhaps you’ll get just what you hope for, then,” I retort, trying to pull away. But he holds me close, frowning, still keeping us effortlessly in step with the music.
“You don’t even allow yourself one small happiness,” he murmurs. “You’re choosing to put a good man through a loveless marriage—and for what? To prove a point? To show that you’ll sacrifice everything for your country? Don’t you see that your country needs more than an advantageous marriage?”
It wasn’t easy to refuse Kieran in the dark of the garden last night, not when he asked me to give up this marriage.
But now, hearing the same plea in public, I’m reminded just how high the stakes are for me to marry Prince Leland.
Even though every fiber of me desperately wants to choose Kieran, the truth is that seeing my curse invade his senses—ruining everything that was once pure and true between us—would break me more than being forced to visit Leland’s bed.
Last night I saw how my curse would twist him into a possessive lover.
When our touch lingered too long, he looked at me with such obsession that I realized there was no future for us.
The love he once felt for me would become a sickness, and I couldn’t bear it, knowing what I felt was real while his was cursed.
“You don’t understand!” My tone is sharp, and for the first time, a pair of dancers glance our way, but I can’t stop as the words pour out. “I can never be with you. You’re a redblood, and I will never force my curse on you. I couldn’t live with it!”
I break away from him, pushing through the crowd—and see Leland staring at me. His face is shadowed, his expression hard enough to send a chill down my spine. His sister whispers something in his ear, and he shakes his head before turning away and striding out the door.
He knows.
“Prince Leland! Wait!” I call, rushing after him.