Chapter 26 Genevieve
Genevieve
Iwalk quickly through the crowd, waves of dancers and observers parting as I make my way out of the ballroom into the hallway.
A small waiting room stands with its door ajar, and I peek inside.
Leland is there, leaning against the wall.
His eyes are brilliant ice, his brows furrowed.
Seeing him like this hurts. I shouldn’t have agreed to dance with Kieran, not when I know how drawn I am to him.
Leland exhales sharply. “You’re not telling me something, I know it. There’s something between you and Blackwell.”
I almost shake my head, ready to deny it again—but Leland doesn’t deserve my lies. He doesn’t deserve the hurt I’m causing him.
“You’re right. He reminds me so much of a man from my past because he once was him.”
Lines crease Leland’s brow as he looks at me in confusion. “What do you mean he once was the man from your past?”
I sigh before letting the truth spill out.
“We were friends as children, and later we fell in love. We were so young, and I knew I’d never be allowed to love him—he was a redblood gardener’s son.
But I did. I loved him more deeply than I’ve ever loved another person.
Then he left me, and I never understood why.
Word reached me that he’d died, and shortly after, I turned twenty and received my gift.
I think the loss of him caused it to manifest the way it did. ”
He looks at me with little sympathy as he nods once. “And now? Do you still love him?”
I shake my head. “It’s not like that. I know we need this alliance, and I want to marry you. I believe he’s jealous, or maybe still hurting. He always knew I could never choose him. I just didn’t think he would still care all these years later.”
Leland’s voice snaps. “Blackwell knew who you were all this time. He’s used me to get to you.”
His jaw tightens, the coldness in his eyes cutting. It stings, but I’ve hurt this man—I deserve his contempt.
“Why would he encourage me to make an arrangement with you?” he finally asks. “He could have come here on his own for Blackwell Industries.”
“I don’t know. He could have returned at any time, but coming back to Fairbright now feels deliberate—as though he’s trying to ruin our chances of success.” I think of how he begged me to abandon this arrangement.
“You both have lied to me. I—I don’t think this will work, but the contract is already signed. Either I have to marry you, or one of your sisters. That feels wrong, to switch brides like that.”
My shoulders sag. I can’t force this arrangement on them.
“I’m not going to let you do that. It doesn’t matter how you got here.
I just want to move forward with our alliance, for both our countries.
” I push down the nagging doubt that makes my stomach churn, thinking of being intimate with Leland.
“Blackwell is leaving tomorrow morning.”
He grunts, then asks incredulously, “Did no one recognize him?”
“No. His appearance is different. Only Astoria, Gabriel, and I know Blackwell’s true identity. We haven’t told my mother.”
He looks chagrined as he leans against the wall. “Blackwell worked in the mines for years—that must be where he went after he left you. But I don’t understand why. Did you force him to leave?”
My head feels light, the realization sinking in that I may have caused Kieran’s suffering.
I think back to the night I gave myself to him.
How he proposed and promised to protect me from any backlash against our engagement, only for me to tell him it was impossible.
The letter the next morning said he was leaving Fairbright.
I tried to speak with him, but he refused to see me.
“Not in so many words. No. We quarreled, and he left of his own accord. I needed time to decide what to do, and he wouldn’t give it to me. We were both so young.”
Leland sighs, rubbing his eyes before meeting my gaze again.
“You’re right. We need to follow through with what we’ve agreed on—but Blackwell can’t stay here.
Not now that I know your past. Genevieve, I want this alliance to work for both our countries, and I know you do too.
But I cannot have your former lover in the palace with us. ”
“Of course, I understand.” My heart sinks. Losing him once nearly destroyed me—but I don’t have Kieran again. Not really. I can let him go a second time. “He and I spoke about it last night. He plans to return after the wedding, but I can tell him that’s not possible.”
Leland gives a curt nod. “He has people who can represent Blackwell Industries during the railway construction in Naseria. The important thing is that we present a united front.”
I reach for his hand, silk on silk. “I want that.”
His fingers move over the top of my gloved hand, a slow, deliberate caress. “I’m glad. I’ve also been thinking about your gift over the past few days—and what I need as a husband.”
I stiffen. How can he go from agreeing to remove my former lover from the country to talking about my gift? Why can’t he just let that part of our relationship progress at a slower pace? My skin prickles at the thought of allowing his touch on my bare flesh.
“I have as well,” I manage. “I agreed to the marriage contract, but intimacy will be difficult. I’ve tried to control my gift, but it isn’t something I’m good at. It overpowers me in those moments.”
He brings his hand to my waist, and I force myself to stay calm. The small room feels too tight, too stifling.
“Would you be open to trying?” he asks. “I’ve had to practice controlling my own gift over the years, and I think I can help you.”
“Now?” The word stumbles out, my anxiety rising as my body begins to tremble.
“Just a touch,” he murmurs. “Nothing more.”
I don’t want to. I want to retreat and deny him this one small ask.
But I don’t—because if I refuse him even a touch, how will he believe I’m truly committed to our marriage contract?
I nod and begin tugging off my gloves. I have to do all I can to ensure he’ll still have me, even if it’s the one thing I despise.
After all, it will be expected of me soon enough.
I take my bare hand and touch Leland’s cheek. His skin is soft and smooth, likely thanks to the close shave his valet provided. His face relaxes, and he leans into my touch, a sigh escaping his lips.
I can feel my gift stir within me. The pupils in Leland’s eyes dilate, the icy blue nearly swallowed by black.
I take a deep breath, trying to tamp down the power flowing through my caress.
Leland’s hands tighten on my hips, shifting me slightly until I’m leaning against him, a hard bulge growing between us.
A moment later, I feel his own gift begin to seep into me—the only explanation for the calm resolve spreading through my chest.
Everything will be alright. This is good for both of us. I let out a stifled moan as I press my body closer, desperate for the false peace that nearness brings. He lowers his head toward mine, our lips nearly touching.
“How is this?” he asks, his voice roughened. His hands move up and down my lower back, dipping lower and lower, a frenzy building in his touch that I feel compelled to appease.
I shake off the haze of calm. “It—I’m trying to suppress my gift, but I can see it overtaking you. Let me step back for a moment.”
He nods and slowly releases me, allowing me to put space between us. “May I ask you a personal question?” His words come out in shallow, uneven breaths.
“Yes, of course. We need to be open with one another if this is to work.”
“The feeling your gift gives me—it’s a frenzy, almost a madness to have you. It’s more lust than love.” He pauses, raking a hand through his hair as he struggles to steady his breathing.
I frown. “That’s not a question.”
“I know. Let me finish. Do you feel the same sensation when you touch a man, or is it purely one-sided?”
I blush, remembering the time I allowed myself to believe that what a man felt under my touch was more than lust. I remember being swept away by the same heat, letting down my guard as I hoped to fill the hollow Kieran left behind.
“When I first received my gift—or my curse, truly—I tried to convince myself I could feel what a lover felt. But now I cannot.”
“Because you lose control? Has someone ever harmed you?”
I draw a deep breath. I’ve never spoken of what happens when I touch a man.
“It’s been a long time since I’ve allowed myself to be intimate with anyone.
My gift, and the loss of control, make it dangerous.
I don’t think anyone meant to harm me, but it’s difficult for a man to stop once he’s overcome by it. ”
Leland curses under his breath and turns away before stooping to pick up my gloves.
He hands them to me. “Genevieve, I could not live with myself if I harmed you—or did anything without your consent. I didn’t understand how deeply your gift could affect a man.
I could never—” His voice breaks as he slowly shakes his head and slides his own gloves back on.
I cover my mouth, trying to hide the tremor of fear at what he might say next.
“I know you want this alliance,” he says softly.
“I do as well. But I fear our gifts may be too incompatible. I can temper mine only so much when we touch, and I could feel your reaction to it. I was taking away your choice as much as my own.” He strokes my cheek with a gloved hand.
“I couldn’t live with myself, knowing what I might do to you when I’m no longer in control of my own actions. ”
My chin quivers as I fight back tears. This is my first real choice—my first act as a future queen—and it’s slipping through my fingers. How can I lead a country when I can’t even maintain a successful engagement?
My voice sounds hollow as I say, “I understand. The wedding is a week away. Do try to come to a conclusion before the ceremony.”
He nods once and turns toward the door. “I’ll let you know my decision shortly. Your sisters…”
His voice trails off before he changes the subject. “I want you to know that, regardless of what happens, I believe you’ll make a remarkable queen.”
The door clicks shut, and I sink to the floor as tears spill down my cheeks, splashing onto the carpet.