Chapter 4 #2
‘What are you doing out here?’
‘Trying to scare unsuspecting victims.’ He put on a villainous laugh that he couldn’t really pull off. He stopped abruptly and got up and walked over to my bench. ‘I don’t get any signal in the house. So, how are you liking the party?’
‘It’s good,’ I said, shuffling along to make room for him.
‘So good that you had to escape?’
I smiled weakly. ‘It’s not that I don’t like house parties, it’s just sometimes I find them a bit exhausting. Having to talk to people.’
He laughed. ‘That’s kind of the point of a party.’
‘Yeah, I know. I’m just more of a hang out in a pub with friends type of person.
I hate it at parties where you’re talking to one person one minute and then you have to start afresh with another the next.
It’s always trying to find that common ground, or feigning interest in something that you know nothing about, and having to be witty—’
‘And breathe.’
‘Sorry.’ I sighed. ‘It’s just—’
‘—parties.’
‘Parties,’ I agreed.
‘Well, I won’t speak to you, if you like. Give you some space to sit here and look at the stars, which are looking fabulous by the way.’
I smiled, about to protest that I didn’t mind speaking to him, but my mouth dropped open at the sight above me. Where we lived in town, and even on the main campus, there was a lot of light pollution, but over this side there was nothing and the view was incredible.
It was one of those crisp, cold nights that weren’t conducive to sitting on a bench without a coat, but it did mean that the sky was dark black and the stars were shining brighter than diamonds.
‘I always look for Pisces,’ said Noah, scanning the sky. ‘But to be honest I never see it.’
I looked for our star sign, even though I knew the chances of seeing it were slim.
‘I think I read once that you can only really see it in autumn,’ I said.
‘I guess that shows you how little I know about astronomy.’
‘I don’t know anything either, to be honest,’ I said, unwrapping the hoodie from round my waist and slipping it over my head.
There was a moment of silence between us. It was the kind of silence that was rare to find when talking to someone new. Neither of us were rushing to fill the void and that was OK.
‘You said you were out here for a phone call,’ I said, changing the subject.
‘Yeah, Hayley usually rings me around this time to say goodnight.’
Part of me wanted to be revolted at the slushy sentiment, but a pang in my chest let me know how I really felt about it.
In all honesty, it sounded nice. In those moments late at night, when the house is still and feelings of loneliness descend, it would be quite nice to have someone to remind you that they care about you.
‘I know, you think I’m a soppy git.’
‘Obviously.’
He smiled.
I wrapped my arms a little tighter around me to shield me from the cold. The hoodie hadn’t really done enough now that my body had cooled down from the party.
‘Do you want my coat? You must be freezing.’
‘I’m OK; it was really hot in that party.’
‘I know. It’s hot in there on a normal day as we’ve got no idea how to turn down the thermostat, let alone when we’ve got half the campus in there.’
‘It’s nice so many people came out for your birthday.’
‘Oh, I’m under no illusion that they came for that. They came for the free booze.’
‘I’m sure they didn’t.’
He raised an eyebrow. ‘They’re students, of course they came for the free booze.’
‘I didn’t.’
He turned to look at me and in that split second it was like all the breath was sucked out of me. I coughed and looked back up at the stars, my cheeks starting to burn with embarrassment. But on the plus side, at least it was warming me up.
‘I take it, from the fact you’re here tonight, that you didn’t work things out with the boyfriend.’
I felt my shoulders tense at the mention of him.
‘I figured that it was perhaps best if we had a little space.’
‘For good?’
I shrugged. I wasn’t sure about that yet.
Noah shook his head.
‘What?’
‘I don’t get why you’d stay with someone who treated you like he did today.’
‘Well, I’m sorry, but we can’t have all found the love of our lives at twenty, can we?’ It came out harsher than I meant it to and I bit my lip. I shouldn’t be taking out my frustration on him. ‘I’m sorry; I didn’t mean it like that.’
I wondered how it was possible that I was jealous of something that I didn’t even want.
‘No, it’s me. I shouldn’t have poked my nose in. You’re an adult.’
‘Doesn’t feel like it,’ I said, with a smile.
He smiled back. ‘Look, I am fully aware that this is none of my business, and I only said it because I think you’re a nice person, and you should be dating one of the good guys; there are quite a lot of us out there.’
‘Are there? Single ones?’
He winced. ‘Yeah, I guess that’s the challenging part. But really, don’t hang on to a wrong one because you can’t find the right one.’
‘That sounds like the kind of advice you’d get from a Just Seventeen agony aunt.’
He stroked at his chin. ‘Agony aunt, or I guess agony uncle; I’d be good at that.’
‘How to keep the romance in your relationship.’ I put on a faux American accent. ‘Step one, have a bedtime phone call.’
‘Now you’re taking the piss.’
‘I’m not, it’s sweet.’
‘Yeah, yeah. Miss pessimistic thinks it’s sweet now?’
‘Realist, not pessimist. I don’t know, I think I can take or leave a lot of relationship stuff, but that kind of sounded nice, you know, being someone’s last thought at night.’
I don’t know where it came from but my eyes started to well up.
‘Oh, hey, you’re not going to cry, are you? I’m sure there are lots of men that think about you in bed.’
I spluttered. I guess that was one way to stop the tears.
‘Wait, that’s not what I meant.’
‘Not quite agony uncle language.’
‘I just meant, that from what I’ve known from meeting you today, you’re sweet, and kind, and intelligent and funny – well, sometimes – and I guess you already know you’re pretty.’
My cheeks were starting to burn as one after another the compliments rolled off Noah’s tongue, and my heart beat faster. I wasn’t sure if he was leaning towards me, or if I was leaning in to him, but suddenly our faces were mere inches apart.
‘I think any nice guy would be crazy not to want to call you to say goodnight,’ he said, in almost a whisper. I could feel his warm breath on me.
Deep down, I knew I couldn’t kiss Noah, and I could tell from how he hadn’t closed the gap between us that he knew it too. And yet, we stayed in that almost moment for longer than we should have, my heart wishing for something my brain knew I couldn’t have.
‘I’m sorry,’ he said, moving back.
‘Yeah.’ I turned and looked up at the sky again, letting out a long breath.
I’d been seduced in that moment not by Noah, but by the idea of what a relationship could be; perhaps what it should be. I couldn’t stay with Will.
Noah’s phone rang.
‘It’s Hayley,’ he said to me unnecessarily; we both knew it would be.
‘You should get it. I’m going to go back to the party.’
‘Look, it’s no longer our birthday.’ He pointed at his phone screen. ‘And the four-year wait for the next one begins.’
He raised an eyebrow and hit answer. He walked away, phone to his ear and I listened to the sound of his voice getting fainter as I walked out of the hedged garden.
Four years until the next birthday … I couldn’t help but wonder where I’d be then.
Text message – Noah to Lucy: March 2004
Hey! Thanks for coming to the party. It took me days to recover. Think your nurse friend made quite the impression on Paul. How about we all run into each other at a pub one night so we can get them together!
Text message – Lucy to Noah: March 2004
What happened last night??? Is Amy still at yours???? Still wetting myself that Paul thought she was an actual nurse. Imagine if he’d have taken her up on the offer and she’d trotted back to your party in her naughty nurse costume. LOL. But seriously – Amy and Paul???
Text message – Noah to Lucy: October 2004
Hoping I’ve timed this right and you’ve moved in already and don’t need any help ;) You and Caz fancy a pint? Amy’s just arrived and I don’t think her and Paul are looking for a third wheel tonight.
Voicemail – Lucy to Noah: May 2005
NOOOOOOAAAAAHHHHHHH! Where have you been hiding? I am officially done with uni, last exam this morning, so you better get your arse in gear and hang out with us before we leave for ever. Hayley visiting is no excuse – you know we love her more than you. Just kidding, just get your arse out.
Email – Noah to Lucy: September 2005
To Lucy,
Sorry I’ve been crap at emailing. You’ll be glad to know that I’m working like a dog out here.
I might be lapping up the Greek sunshine, but the only sun loungers I get to see are the ones I’m hosing down.
The hotel is brutal, although definitely a work-hard play-hard mentality.
Hayley, of course, has got some cushy job on the reception desk.
Looking forward to going back to uni next month for a rest. Good luck with the grad scheme; I know you’ll be great. N x
Text message – Noah to Lucy: March 2006
Are you ever going to come back and visit? What happened to ‘we’ll be down all the time because London drinks are too pricey’? We’ve only got a couple of months left before we leave so you better make the most of it.
Text message – Lucy to Noah: December 2006
Is Paul telling the truth? Are you and Hayley really off to Oz? We’ve only just got used to having you living in London with us. You better not be leaving before our Xmas bash.
Email – Noah to Lucy: January 2007
Hiya,
I’m so sorry we missed you before we left.
It went proper mental trying to fit in so many goodbyes.
But really a year and a half will fly by and there’s always Oz.
You can visit. Use some of that holiday that you’re so fond of accruing.
Pretty sure that place will still be standing if you take a break, you know. Just saying.
Anyway, we’ve got a few days in Singapore, then we’re headed to Sydney on Thursday. And before you ask, yes, I’ve packed plenty of mosquito repellent. Plus, Hayley’s got a whole medical bag with her too. No need for you to worry.
Catch you soon,
N x
Phone conversation – Noah to Lucy: February 2007
L: (groggy) hello
N: Luuuuuucy!
L: Hello? What time is it? What?
N: Lucy, Lucy, Lucy, Lucy.
L: Oh, god, Noah is that you? Fuck. What time is it? Bloody hell, it’s three in the morning. What time is it there and why are you so drunk?
N: I figured that it’s kind of our birthday, you know, right now, in the middle of the twenty-eighth and the first for you, so it’s our birthday right?
L: I’m pretty sure it’s technically the first. (Groans)
N: Then it’s your birthday. Let me be the first one to wish you a happy one.
L: Thanks. You know you could have waited until I actually got up.
N: I know, but I don’t think I’m going to be up for long. Yesterday’s birthday shenanigans were intense. Thanks for the card.
L: You’re welcome.
N: And next year we’ll celebrate our actual birthday.
L: If you’re back.
N: You could always come here.
L: Look, Noah, I’m so pleased you rang, but I’ve got a presentation tomorrow and—
N: OK, OK. Happy birthday, Luce.
L: Thanks, make sure you drink water before you go to bed.
N: Thanks, Mum.
Lucy’s Facebook status: September 2007
Lucy is excited as she just got a new promotion!
Comments
Mags – Huge congratulations, sweetie, but don’t get too comfy in your new cubicle, I still won’t give up on getting you to come work for me.
Lucy – @Mags Don’t you mean with you?
Mags – @Lucy Do I? Joking. Of course, with me.
NOAH – Way 2 go Luce!!!! Hope this means you’ll move out of the shoebox into a flat that I can kip on the floor of when I get back.
Lucy – @Noah Ha ha ha. Amy and I have already signed a new lease.
Noah Facebook relationship status: December 2007
Noah Matthews is Single
Email – Lucy to Noah: December 2007
Just saw Facebook. Is it true? Please tell me you were hacked? If not, and it’s that brutal – hope you’re OK? Skype?
Voicemail – Noah to Lucy: 28th February 2008
I’m just about to start the long, long trip home.
I don’t even want to think about what time I’ll get there, but with changes of flight times and stuff, I think I get into Heathrow at four thirty in the afternoon.
So hopefully it’ll give me time to have a quick nap before we head out in the evening?
I hope that works with you and your plans for your day off?
I’m guessing in London you probably couldn’t leave the key under a mat for me?
But perhaps send me a text and let me know if you’d be in? Laters.