Chapter 10
We spilled out of the packed bar into the street, and headed towards the club.
To give Amy her dues, she’d done her research and made sure that we didn’t have too long a walk between venues. Her military planning wasn’t always welcome when it came to our cleaning schedule, but on nights like this it was a godsend.
We stopped outside a bank en route and Amy and I stood with Noah and Paul whilst the others got cash.
‘You realise now, Noah, that you’re basically never going to be able to leave again,’ said Amy. She was swaying, and I got the impression that her looped arm through Paul’s was more to hold her up than any kind of romantic declaration. ‘This one was an absolute wreck when you left.’
‘I wouldn’t say a wreck,’ Paul protested, but the way that he’d hung off Noah’s every word tonight said otherwise.
‘Come on, you were practically sobbing.’
‘I wouldn’t say sobbing.’
‘Don’t worry,’ said Noah, jumping in before the two of them started to bicker about whose recollections of events were true. ‘I told Lucy I’m not going anywhere anytime soon.’
‘Too broke?’
‘That’s part of it.’ He turned his head to directly look at me. ‘Plus, there are things that I want to do. Things I should have done before.’
I shuddered. Amy and Paul’s eyes were burning into me.
‘So where is this Cheesefest?’ asked Noah, and Caz let out a groan.
‘I still can’t believe you’re spending your one-in-four birthday there. When I tell my mates I’m heading to London for the weekend, they’re always like, where are you heading to? – Shunt? Or Fabric? – and I have to admit where we’re headed.’
She wrinkled her nose up in mock disgust, but no matter how much she pretended to hate it, I know she would have been secretly disappointed if we hadn’t ended up there. She loved the place as much as the rest of us, even if it did mean taking a credibility hit.
The first time we’d gone, it had reminded us all of the student union, and there was that nostalgic feeling to the cheesy music and sweaty bodies not taking themselves seriously that we’d all latched on to.
‘I can’t wait to finally go. Paul’s been bigging it up for months,’ said Noah.
‘It’s so your type of place,’ said Amy. ‘They even have a meat raffle.’
Noah put his hands on his hips. ‘Why didn’t you say before? What are we waiting for? Lead on.’
He gestured with his hand and we started to walk.
‘Just be prepared,’ I said, wondering if my attempts to pace myself at the last bar were ill-advised. The club we were heading for was better the more liquid courage you had.
‘Oh, I’m prepared for it all.’ Noah smiled and I smiled back and we fell into step, a little further back from the others.
‘Hmm, I’ll remind you of that. Ben and Alex might have had the right idea jumping ship early.’
‘Lightweights. I mean, what kind of an excuse is the last Tube anyway. Who doesn’t love a night bus adventure?’
I groaned.
‘You know, I feel like you’ve remembered London with rose-tinted glasses. Don’t you remember the time that guy threw up all over you, and we had to sit there with you covered in sick for forty minutes.’
He winced; it was the kind of memory you’d want to bury deep. ‘Yeah, I’m not sure what was worse about that. The fact I had to sit like that for so long on the bus, or the fact that I took off all my clothes, showered them and didn’t shower myself? I stank so bad when I woke up the next morning.’
I couldn’t help but laugh; it was so disgusting.
‘Or what about the time when we were sat at the top of the bus and that awful guy started hitting on Caz.’
‘Oh, I remember that. What was he, some shiny-shoed estate agent?’
‘Yeah, that was it.’
‘No one does put-down lines like Caz.’ I was laughing and it was not helping the fact that I’d needed to wee since stepping out of the last bar. ‘We’ve got to stop, or I’m going to wet myself.’
‘OK, no fun.’
‘No laughing.’
‘Got it, I understand the mission. So what to talk about … hmm.’ He stroked his chin, looking ridiculous.
‘Not helping.’
‘What? I was going for my best serious pose. Right, OK, boring conversation. Remember that time that Paul made us all go to that lecture at Christmas? Now that was boring.’
‘Oh, I’d forgotten that. What was that even about?’
‘He’d thought they were showing It’s a Wonderful Life.’
‘Yes, that was it, and instead we had to sit through advanced physics.’
‘And Paul snored in the middle and the lecturer whacked a ruler on the desk.’
‘This is not helping.’ I didn’t think I was going to make it.
‘Look, we’re almost there.’ Noah pointed at the club entrance like a beacon. I looked up and Amy was already at the VIP line sorting things out; god bless Amy.
I had reached the level of drunk where I had every confidence known to man. I’d become more tactile with everyone and the odd word was slurred.
Cheesefest delivered on so many levels. Noah loved it as much as the rest of us.
Chesney Hawkes’ ‘The One and Only’ came to an end and it was replaced by a Madness song. I stopped dancing, thanks to my irrational hatred of their music, and Noah leaned into me.
‘Wanna sit this one out?’
I nodded and we left the others who were dancing round and pulling up their imaginary baggy trousers.
I started to walk and found Noah’s hands on my hips as he helped to steer me through the dancefloor that had spilled out from its confines and across most of the open space. I could feel the heat of his touch. My hand came to a rest on top of his like it was the most natural thing in the world.
He steered me past the bar and up the stairs to the seating area, where we found a table with the kind of PVC seats that I would be in danger of sticking to with my short dress if I hadn’t been wearing tights.
We sat down next to each other and it might not have been as loud up here, but we still found ourselves leaning in to talk to each other.
‘You still hate Madness then?’
‘I do. I’ve tried to like them, but I don’t know what it is. Must be all the fun.’
‘Must be. You being a big killjoy.’
‘The biggest.’
We were both grinning, my heart aching at how much I’d missed this.
A couple walked past us, a tall woman, dragging a shorter man to the corner, where they sat opposite each other at the table, neither looking at the other.
‘What do you reckon their story is?’ asked Noah, leaning even closer.
‘Oh, I don’t know. He’s in trouble for pinching the bum of some girl that walked past.’
Noah nodded. ‘Could be; he looks like he has wandering hands.’
‘They’re not doing much wandering there. Those body language experts you get in magazines would have a field day. His feet pointing that way, hers the other.’
‘Her folded arms.’
‘The biting of the lips.’
‘Classic argument.’ Noah glanced around. ‘And what about them? What’s going on there?’
I looked to see a woman on all fours on top of the PVC seating, crawling towards a man. The man looked a little startled at first, and then she tilted her head to the side.
‘Oh, goodness. Let’s see. I reckon he’s Bill and she’s Mary. They’re actually married, but they like to come to clubs and pretend they’re complete strangers and then, oh my.’
I held my hand over my eyes to shield the fact that Mary had climbed on Bill’s lap and had wasted no time sticking her tongue down his throat.
‘I hope you’re right with that one,’ said Noah, pulling a face. ‘And what about us, what do you think someone watching would say is our story?’
I turned towards him, to tell him and he rested his hand on my thigh, just at the line where my dress hit my tights.
Goosebumps shot up my arms and my whole body started to tingle in all the right places. He didn’t take his eyes off me as he started to trace shapes just under my hem line. I closed my eyes for a split second and let out a small moan.
I wanted him in the same way that Mary wanted Bill. I wanted to climb on him and to have his hands run all over me. I wanted his hands to stop teasing and go higher. I wanted to trace my fingers over that chest I saw earlier.
‘What would they say about us?’ he whispered in my ear, his nose nuzzling at my neck as my hand found his waist. I went to say something and I felt his mouth meet mine.
It was as if a thousand volts of electricity pulsed through my veins and I knew that anything I had felt today hadn’t been imagined.
My whole body was aching for him. Aching to be touched. Aching to be kissed.
But not like this. Not here. I didn’t want to be Bill and Mary. I didn’t want this to be some drunken fumble in a club. That wasn’t what I wanted the start of our story to be.
‘Noah, we can’t.’ I gently pushed him back. He’d taken my breath away, and I cleared my throat to tell him not here, not like this, and how I wanted it to be special.
‘Right,’ he said, shuffling back, and running his hand through his hair. ‘Of course, I’m sorry, I—’
‘Noah.’ I reached out a hand.
‘There you two are,’ shouted Amy, flopping down in between us, unaware of what she was interrupting. ‘I’ve been looking for you everywhere. Look who came.’
She held her hands up and I saw Mags standing in front of us.
‘Oh my goodness, you made it.’ I struggled to get to my feet to give her a hug; my legs were like jelly. ‘Wow. You look amazing.’ She was wearing tight leather trousers and a tight red top. On anyone else it would look cheap but somehow Mags, with her platinum blonde hair, looked a million dollars.
‘I thought I might feel a little overdressed, but it seems anything goes,’ she said, as a person in a Crayola crayon outfit walked past.
‘It’s that kind of place.’
‘You look great too.’ She stroked the sequins on the long sleeve.
I tugged self-consciously at the hem. I’d tried to go for sexy, but I don’t know how sexy constantly pulling down my dress was.
‘I feel like I’m two months late for Christmas.’
‘No, it’s glitzy and glam; it’s perfect for your birthday. Happy birthday, by the way.’
‘Thanks, although I’m pretty sure it’s no longer my birthday.’ I turned to look over my shoulder at Noah who was talking to Amy. I tried to throw him an apologetic look, sorry that we’d been interrupted, but he wouldn’t meet my eyes.
‘So, is this your famous male friend?’ She didn’t wait for an answer. She turned to him and stuck her hand out. ‘Hi, I’m Mags. I work with Lucy.’
‘Ah, yeah, I’ve heard all about you. I’m Noah.’
‘Nice to meet you, Noah. I hope you’ve heard all good things,’ she said, raising an eyebrow in my direction. ‘And I’ve heard all about how you’re Lucy’s platonic male friend.’
He looked between me and her.
‘I always say men and women can’t be just friends, but Lucy assures me that you guys can.’
He turned back to Mags and nodded, a smile on his face. ‘That’s us. Just friends.’
I watched the hurt appear in his eyes. I knew I should reach out and touch him; tell him that I had been wrong, that there was more. That I wanted there to be more. But I didn’t. I watched that door close for us.
It was like Amy bounding up had jolted me back to reality. Made me see that getting together with Noah wasn’t a good idea. Because I loved having him back in my life and I was scared if something went wrong it would fracture our group apart.
‘Mags, you need a drink. In fact, we all do. I’ll go get us some,’ he said. ‘Shots?’
‘Brilliant idea, but I’m buying. You guys are the birthday boy and girl.’
Noah stood up and I wanted to grab his arm to explain that it wasn’t how it sounded, but Amy took hold of me and pulled me down and I watched as they headed to the bar.
‘Hey you, you can’t leave me as well,’ she slurred into my ear. She stroked my face. ‘You know how much I love you, have I told you that?’
‘You have, Ams. Every time you’re drunk. And every morning when I bring you up a cup of tea.’
She smiled and closed her eyes.
‘That’s why you’re the best housemate. Please, never leave me.’
I watched Noah and Mags at the bar; they were talking and I could feel pangs of jealousy thinking of how a few minutes ago those eyes had only me in their sights.
‘I think it’s you that’s going to leave me.’ I tried to prop Amy into a more seated position. ‘I reckon you’ll be moving in with Paul soon.’
‘No, I’m not moving in with a boy. They leave the toilet seat up. And they smell. No, let’s live together forever. Ooh shots.’
She sat bolt upright and started to clap as Noah put a round in front of us.
‘Wait, what are we toasting?’ Mags asked.
‘To friends,’ he said, shooting it back and not waiting for the toast. ‘Will you excuse me, I’m going to find Paul.’
‘Tell him I’m staying with Lucy forever,’ called Amy.
He gave her a thumbs up and went off.
‘Oh my god, what are those two people doing?’ Mags recoiled.
‘That’s Mary and Bill. Don’t worry, they’re married.’ Both women looked at me and I wished that Noah was here to share the joke. But he was heading down the stairs, his face unreadable.
I had a sinking feeling in my stomach that I’d ruined whatever moment was between us, but that same sinking feeling told me that maybe it wasn’t a bad thing. That maybe I saved the friendship that everyone seemed to be trying to find.