The Highlander Speaks Again
Chapter seventeen
He was gone!
The next morning, Juliet finally left her chamber after two days of solitude, of retreat, of…loneliness. She dreaded every step, and yet she needed to know. Had Christopher truly left? Was he gone?
“Are you saying he left in the night?” came her mother’s voice as Juliet approached the breakfast parlor, her eyes sweeping over her assembled family as she pulled to a halt just outside the doorway. “That is most unusual.”
Troy nodded. “I spoke to him,” Juliet stilled and listened, her hands trembling as she clamped them tightly together, “and he asked me to bid you all farewell on his behalf.”
“Why did he leave so abruptly?” her father inquired, a deep frown upon his face. Then his eyes moved and found Juliet’s. His features softened, and a sad smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. Could her father see the sadness that threatened to crush her heart?
Unable to bear the thought of her family’s questions, Juliet slowly and quietly retreated, one step at a time, until she reached the end of the corridor. Then she spun around and rushed outside.
An almost icy wind met her as she hastened across the terrace. Fool that she was, she had not even bothered to don a cloak, let alone gloves or appropriate footwear for the outdoors. Wetness seeped through her delicate slippers, and within moments, her hem was soaked.
“Juliet!”
For a moment, Juliet thought it was Christopher calling her name and her heart soared to the heavens. She spun around, hoping against hope, and the moment her eyes fell on Keir, it died a quick death, wiping the smile from her face in the blink of an eye.
“I can tell ye’re overjoyed to see me,” Keir chuckled, sympathy in his gaze as he moved toward her. His eyes swept over her inappropriate attire, and concern darkened his friendly features. “Come back inside, lass. Ye’ll catch yer death if ye stay out here much longer.”
Thick tears blurred Juliet’s vision. “I cannot meet them! I cannot! They’ll ask, and I…I…”
Shrugging out of his coat, Keir placed it upon her shivering shoulders, then gently steered her back to the house. “I know, lass. I’ll smuggle ye inside with no one the wiser. I promise.”
Leaning into him, Juliet placed one step in front of the other, allowing Keir to steer her along, her own eyes unseeing. Her heart ached with longing and regret and…anger.
At herself.
Oh, why had she lied to Christopher? Why had she fainted? She had seen the distraught look upon his face. He thought she had passed out from shock because she had not wanted his kiss. He had tried to be her friend and answer her request, and what had she done?
She had made him feel guilty for overstepping a line that had not even been there.
“Sit,” Keir ordered beside her ear, then gave her shoulders a slight push.
Blinking, Juliet dropped into a chair. She was back in her bedchamber, and the door was closed, keeping her misery safely concealed from anyone who might walk by. Yet Keir was still here, and at this very moment, he kneeled down to remove her soaked slippers.
Juliet knew she ought to stop him. More than that, she ought to send him from her chamber. This was far from appropriate; however, in this moment, Juliet could not bring herself to care.
Always—always!—had she played by the rules; and what had that gotten her?
A broken heart.
A lonely future.
And regrets.
“Ye need to change, lass,” Keir remarked as he reached for the blanket draped over the foot of her bed. “Shall I send for yer mother? Or—?”
“No.” Shaking her head, Juliet pushed to her feet. “I’m fine. I…” Looking up into his blue eyes, Juliet sighed, once more overcome by regrets, regrets about things she had let slip through her fingers.
“I’ll leave then.” Keir stepped toward the door. “But if ye wish to speak about what—”
“Would you kiss me?” Juliet did not know where that question had come from, but it slipped past her lips with more ease than she would have expected.
Keir turned to look at her over his shoulder, a deep frown marking his face. Then he moved toward her, his blue eyes sweeping her face. “Why would ye ask me that, lass?”
Desperation blazed in Juliet’s veins, and she barely felt the tremble in her hands or heard the slight stutter in her voice. “I’ve never been kissed, and I wish to know what it feels like.”
Watching her with an odd expression in his eyes, Keir moved closer. “Why do ye ask me? Why not yer Lord Lockhart?”
At the mention of Christopher, something sharp and painful speared her heart and Juliet’s courage faltered. Her gaze fell from Keir’s, and she felt tears gather in her eyes. “Do not speak of him.”
Juliet heard Keir breathe in deeply before his right hand reached out and his fingers grasped her chin. “Look at me, lass.”
Reluctantly, Juliet did as he said, mortification over her request already burning through her veins.
What was wrong with her? Lately, she seemed to stumble from one foolish mistake into another.
“I’m sorry,” she stammered as he lifted her head, her eyes darting around the room, afraid to meet his.
“I shouldn’t have asked this of you. If you do not wish—”
Keir laughed. “Oh, lass, I’d kiss ye in a heartbeat,” he grinned at her when her eyes finally settled upon his, “but I dunna believe it is me ye wish to kiss. Is that not so?”
Juliet’s eyes closed at his words as resignation fell over her heart. “I couldn’t let him,” she whispered, more to herself than to Keir.
“Why not?”
Blinking her eyes open, Juliet looked up into his face.
For a reason she could not name, she felt she could be honest with Keir.
He had become a friend, and yet he had not shared in her life until a few weeks ago.
Perhaps Keir was the perfect blend between confidante and stranger.
“I always knew he wanted to leave again. I couldn’t let myself feel…
” She swallowed the lump that settled in her throat. “This way, it’s easier to let go.”
A doubtful frown creased Keir’s forehead as he released her chin and took a step back. “Is it, lass?”
Fresh tears pooled in Juliet’s eyes, but instead of sorrow, she felt anger well up in her heart.
“Yes!” she almost growled, her hands balling into fists as she shook them with vehemence.
“It must be! It has to be! It…” Gritting her teeth, she shook her head, then stared at him.
“I deserve to not have my heart broken again, do I not?”
An indulgent smile came to Keir’s face. “That is not how life works, lass, and ye know it.” His blue gaze narrowed. “Did ye tell him?”
Instantly, Juliet’s eyes fell from his and she turned away, shivering as her bare feet moved over the parquet floor. She knew what he was asking but refused to answer.
“I see,” Keir mumbled behind her, a hint of reproach in his face.
“It would not have mattered,” Juliet defended herself as she stared out the window. “It wouldn’t have made a difference. I know so.”
For a long moment, silence lingered upon the room before she heard Keir move closer, his footsteps barely audible.
Then his large hands grasped her shoulders, warm and comforting, but also insistent.
“Ye assume, lass,” he said in that deep, slightly raspy voice of his.
“Ye dunna know. Ye assume.” He inhaled slowly, and she felt his hands give her shoulders a slight squeeze.
“People assume a great deal, thinking ‘tis the truth they see when truly ‘tis nothing more than what they wish for…or fear.”
Juliet closed her eyes, unwilling to hear what he was saying, but knowing in her heart that he spoke the truth.
“Ye assume that he doesna care for ye. Ye assume that—”
Juliet whirled around. “He said there was someone waiting for him in Ireland,” she blurted out, brandishing her last available shield as she fought to hang on to her composure. “He said someone was awaiting his return.”
Keir’s gaze did not waver. “Who?”
Juliet swallowed as an odd cold seized her limbs.
“Ye didna ask him, did ye, lass?” An understanding smile touched his lips. “Ye merely assumed.”
Juliet stared up at him. “But…But it has to be…” Her voice broke off. “Who else could possibly be waiting for his return?”
Keir shrugged. “I dunna know, but neither do ye.”
Dumbfounded, Juliet stared at the man standing no more than an arm’s length in front of her. His blue eyes shone almost crystal clear, reflecting his direct nature. He never said what he did not mean and spoke his mind at all times. “What…What should I do?”
Keir smiled at her. “Ask him?”
“Ask him what?”
“Whether he loves ye, lass? ‘Tis what ye wish to know, is it not?”
His words almost knocked Juliet off her feet. “I cannot!” she exclaimed, shaking her head for emphasis. “What if he…? I would die of mortification. I—”
“Ye wouldna,” Keir objected. “People dunna die of mortification, but they do wither away with regret.” His brows rose meaningfully. “Ask him, lass.”
Still staring up at Keir, Juliet felt her head begin to spin. It was a similar sensation to the one she had experienced in the pavilion right before she had passed out. “I cannot. I—”
Keir’s hands grasped her shoulders. “Ye’re stronger than ye give yerself credit for, lass.” His blue eyes looked deep into hers, and slowly, they came back into focus. “Stand tall and take a deep breath.”
Holding his gaze as though it were an anchor, Juliet did as he instructed. Slowly, she breathed in and out, grateful when the world settled back into place and the dizziness retreated.
“Good. Now, go and ask him.”
Juliet stilled, yet her heart skipped a beat, sending a deep longing into every fiber of her being. “I…I cannot. He…He left.”
“Aye, no more than a few hours past.” Again, Keir’s brows rose meaningfully. “What will ye do, lass? Will ye stay here and wallow in self-pity? Or will ye go after the man and ask him what ye wish to know?”
Shocked out of her wits, Juliet stared at the tall Scot. As unorthodox as her family was, no one had ever spoken to her quite this way. “I…I cannot go…by myself. I—”
“I’ll take ye,” Keir offered without hesitation, the look in his eyes daring her to bring forth another reason why she could not go after Christopher, ready to present a solution for each and every one.
“But…the ball is in a matter of days. My family…they…”
He smiled at her. “They’ll understand. Ye know this to be true.”
Juliet did. Yet…“I c-can’t,” she stammered, overwhelmed by this choice suddenly looming in front of her. Although she had been daring upon occasion, Juliet had never been so on her own. Christopher had always been by her side. “I can’t. Grandmother needs me.”
“Does she?” Keir asked, a doubtful tone in his voice. “Ever since Lord Lockhart arrived, she hasna needed ye a great deal, has she?”
“What are you saying?”
“I’m saying that I’m not the only one who sees what’s between the two of ye.”
As she looked into Keir’s patient eyes, Juliet realized that he spoke the truth.
While her grandmother had always monopolized her time, she had not done so these past few weeks, often finding excuses for retiring to her chamber, allowing Juliet time to spend with…
Christopher. “She…She told Christopher that…” She swallowed.
“She told him she asked you here to Whickerton Grove because she thought you and I would…suit.”
Keir laughed. “Did she now?” Then his hands once more settled upon Juliet’s shoulders, and he leaned closer, his gaze holding hers. “Well, to tell ye the truth, lass, she gave me an entirely different reason.”
“Why then?”
“I’m not at liberty to say,” Keir chuckled, “but it has nothing to do with ye.”
Juliet frowned, annoyed with all the secrets surrounding her. Had life always been like this and she had simply never taken note of it? “Why then would she say so to Christopher?”
Keir shrugged. “Perhaps to motivate him.”
“Motivate him?” Juliet frowned. “What—?”
“To make him realize what he wants,” Keir explained, that rather indulgent smile once more teasing his lips.
“Men are simple creatures, lass. Sometimes a bit of competition helps us realize what we want.” He paused, and a thoughtful expression came to his face.
“What did ye say to the man to make him leave?”
Heat surged to Juliet’s face.
“Out with it!”
Swallowing, Juliet glanced up at him. “I told him I…I’d chosen you, that…that we were…betrothed.”
Instead of laugh or scowl at her, Keir asked, “And how did he react to that?”
Juliet frowned, trying to recall all that had happened in the pavilion. “He…He became angry, and then he…he tried to kiss me.”
Now Keir did laugh. “And ye still doubt the man’s feelings for ye?
” He shook his head at her. “Go and speak to him, lass. Ask him if he loves ye, and ye’ll see.
” He stepped back, his blue eyes holding hers.
“What will it be, lass? Ye’re at a crossroad, and the choice is yers. Will ye stay? Or will ye go after him?”