Chapter 31
Chapter Thirty-One
ONYX
October
I can’t say I’ve ever been in a relationship to speak of. Primarily, I think it’s because I spent so much of my time with Benson. In hindsight, I can call it what it is—making sure he doesn’t get himself into trouble with his nasty mouth.
Even so, I know there are some things that are a given. For instance, you don’t cheat on your partner. You don’t hit your partner. You don’t lie to your partner. You don’t keep secrets from your partner.
I consider these common sense. Not points that you need to negotiate and compromise on.
I’ve kept a secret.
Three days after Benson hit Cash, Benson texted me while Cash was at work.
He had the fucking audacity to ask me for a place to crash because his parents kicked him out.
Honestly, I stared at the text for what felt like hours because…
seriously? Was he seriously asking me that?
Acting like his parents are out of line for kicking him out.
Thinking we were still in a place where he felt comfortable asking me such a thing.
It’s my fault, though. It’s my fault he thought he could ask me. I’ve enabled his behavior as much as everyone else. Blind loyalty to a man who didn’t deserve it. Never forcing him to be held accountable for his actions. Telling him to back off isn’t making him face consequences.
The only one who has actually punished him in any way is Laiken. Laiken has kicked him out of the bar on multiple occasions. It should have happened more, in hindsight, but the fact that it happened at all meant he was the sole person on the island who made Benson pay for his actions.
While I really wanted to ghost him, I ended up responding to Benson’s text with two words. Fuck off.
That was nearly two weeks ago, and I haven’t told Cash.
I’m not sure it’s necessarily something that needs to or should be shared.
Cash hurts enough because of Ben. Not just physically, but emotionally and mentally as well.
He doesn’t need to know that his brother texted me for help.
Completely overlooking the fact that I beat his stupid ass.
Cash isn’t in a situation with his parents like Lie is.
Far from it. The only reason he hasn’t talked to his parents is that I blocked their numbers on his phone without him knowing.
Okay, so I’m keeping two secrets, which I will tell him this last one at some point.
Maybe when I’ve calmed down enough to forgive them for allowing this situation to happen.
I don’t care how unfairly I’m placing the blame on them.
They’ve had years to do something about Benson.
They had seen and heard with their own eyes and ears the way he screams at Cash.
The things he says to Cash. Expressing that he wanted Cash dead was a new level of assholery, and I’m sorry, you don’t let your kid home again after that until they get the help they very clearly need.
All of this has been stewing in the back of my mind for two weeks now. Two weeks since Benson hit Cash. Almost two weeks since Ben asked to crash at my house. Two weeks where I’ve listened for any whispers about what punishments he’s facing.
Whatever’s happening is happening too slowly.
Far too fucking slowly. Cash shouldn’t have to exist every day looking over his shoulder and waiting for Benson to appear again.
He’s lived that life for nine years now, and it needs to end.
He should not be the one who has to modify his life to accommodate his jerk of a brother.
The roar of a plane goes by overhead, and I bitterly think that Benson should be on it. For a moment, that’s all my bitter thoughts are wheeling around as I watch the plane from the ferry as it flies north toward the States.
Just as the ferry is pulling up to Bane Island, I sit up straight as a plan forms. Benson will never leave because he doesn’t have the funds to do so. He doesn’t have the means.
I do, though.
Instead of getting off at Bane Island, I ride the ferry back around to Anapos again. I dropped Cash off at work half an hour ago, so I’m sure he’s already on a tour.
One more secret. One more to protect him so he doesn’t have to live with Benson always in the shadows.
After making a stop at the bank and the travel center, I finally return to Bane. Once I have my phone in my hand, I send a text to Benson.
Me
Where are you?
There’s a chance he’s not on one of the residential islands, though unlikely. He rarely went to the resort islands, where he couldn’t take his phone, unless we had a gig. Homophobia has no place wandering around a queer resort.
His response comes through a minute later.
Benson Ellis
Pixl
Pixl-Latte is a coffee shop on Bane, so I adjust my trajectory to head there. It takes me twenty minutes from the docks. Benson is sitting in a corner booth with his back to the shop.
It’s mid-morning, so most people are already at work or school. It’s quiet with few people around. I slide into the booth across from him. I like this position since I can see the entire café. I can see who’s watching. Who’s getting too close to snoop.
Absently, I wonder where he’s been sleeping. A bench? Someone’s backyard? Did someone take pity on him and loan him their couch? I wonder where his guitar is.
Benson meets my eyed. He looks annoyed. Frustrated. There are bags under his eyes, so I don’t think he’s sleeping much either. This is the first time I’ve seen him since the garage incident, and the remnants of my fists on his face are still evident everywhere. I’m not sure I spared an inch.
I feel no guilt at all.
“Hey,” he greets as if nothing happened between us. Does he think Cash beat the shit out of him?
“Why are you still here?”
He frowns. Not that he was smiling before, but the frown is deep now. “Where else am I going to go?”
“You’ve been dead set on leaving Kala for almost a decade now. Why are you still here?”
Benson rolls his eyes. “I haven’t been paid enough to leave Kala.”
“Six years at $150 a week minimum is more than $15,000. Where has that money gone? With as loudly as you shouted your desire to leave, it seems to me like you would have worked harder to make it happen.”
“Sounds like you’re trying to get rid of me,” he says bitterly.
I pull the plane ticket from my pocket and set it on the table. It’s not for me, of course. I’ll never leave Cash or Kala. Ben’s eyes widen when he sees his name on it. I’m pretty sure he stops breathing entirely.
“I am trying to get rid of you,” I confirm. “In five days, you get on this plane and never come back.”
He swallows thickly as he stares at the ticket. His one-way ride away from the place he claims to hate the most. In a way, I’m calling his bluff. I’m putting him on the spot. He either admits that he doesn’t want to leave or he leaves. I’m handing it to him.
“You’re not going with me,” he says.
“Of course I’m not.”
“Because you’re sleeping with my brother.” The bitterness is loud.
“Your brother is irrelevant. I was never going with you, Benson. I have zero desire to leave Kala. It was simply an argument that I didn’t want to have, and since I knew damn well no major record label was going to sign the shit we play, I had no reason to have the redundant argument.”
His anger is loud on his face, but I’m not sure he even hears me. “How long have you been with my brother behind my back?”
“We won’t be talking about Cash today or any day,” I dismiss. My finger taps the ticket, bringing his eyes back to it. “You’re getting on the plane, Benson. Or I’m going to become a very loud advocate for your banishment. Probably be better for you if you leave willingly on your own.”
The betrayal in his face is cutting. I’ve steeled myself for this conversation, though. I’ve given far too much of myself to this man.
I pull out another envelope from my pocket. This one is thick. A glance around the coffee shop assures that there isn’t anyone close, so I pull the contents out and fan the cash on top of the table. Benson’s eyes widen.
“If you get on that plane and never fucking return, I’ll give you $10,000 in cash to help you get settled. If you’re on that plane, Ben. Understand?”
He doesn’t meet my eyes. I think it’s just now registered how serious I am.
I do want to get rid of him. Ben isn’t heartless.
He may act it, but I know he feels a whole lot, even if we never see evidence of it.
There’s probably no one on this island who could hurt him more in this situation than me, making it clear that I want him to leave and not return. Except, perhaps, his parents.
So he doesn’t look at me. He stares at the cash for a long time, and I wonder how scared he is of leaving on his own. Despite Benson losing nearly everyone in his life because of his gross behavior over the years, I’ve always been there. I’ve never left his side.
That changes now. I’ll never be his crutch again.
“You’re kind of a jerk,” Ben mutters.
“Me?!” The fucking audacity. “You are literally the most hated person on this fucking island, Benson, because you’re a fucking asshole to everyone, and I’m a jerk? Fuck off. Be on that plane, Ben.”
I gather the cash back into the envelope but leave the ticket.
“So fucking help me, be on that plane.”
He doesn’t look at me. Doesn’t pick up his head.
“If you’re not, I will make sure everyone hears that I’m voting for banishment, and I won’t stop until you’re off the island. If you leave and return one day, I’m going to drown you in the fucking ocean. Your body won’t be found. Am I clear?”
I don’t wait for an answer. Without another word, I leave the coffee shop and head back to the ferry. One more stop before I head home.
There’s a whole process to go through to get your electronics from one of the residential islands onto the plane. It’s not a long or complicated process, but it’s not as simple as sticking your phone in your pocket and promising not to take it out until you’re on the tarmac.
It takes me almost fifty minutes, including the ferry ride, to get to the final checkpoint on the island before you’re allowed to have your electronics back.
It’s the office where all the lockboxes are stored for guests.
It’s the same place where all residents who want to leave the island for whatever reason will be handed back their electronics after being transported by someone else, locked in a lockbox.
The man at the desk is James Gray. He smiles when he greets me. “Hey, Onyx. How’s it going?”
I incline my head and shrug my shoulders at the same time. It’s about to get better. I’m pretty confident in that. “I need discretion. Can you do that?”
He gives me an amused smile. “Fortunately for you, that’s a requirement of my job. What can I do for you?”
I place the envelope on the counter. “Benson will be on a plane in five days. When he makes it here and is handed back his belongings, include this. If he’s not on the plane, I’d like it returned to me.”
James looks at the envelope. There’s little question what’s inside. His eyes meet mine.
“I want him to leave as much as everyone else does. As liberating as it might have been to bludgeon his face, he’s done enough harm here. I don’t care what I need to do to get him off Kala for good,” I explain, though I don’t think I need to.
He nods. “That must have been a sucky choice to make,” he says quietly.
I think about Cash. The tears in his eyes. The hurt he’s carried around for years. The way Benson hit him. His bloodshot and swollen eye. Split lip. The butterfly stitches on his cheek.
“Yes, but I would make it again. Everyone is tired of living in his ugly shadow. Waiting for the next gross thing out of his mouth.”
James sighs. He brings a lockbox onto the desk and opens it for me. It’s big enough for a laptop, though I’m not sure Benson still has one. I place the envelope in the box, and James closes it. I watch curiously as he scans the code and taps away on his computer until it’s programmed to lock.
“Done,” he says. “This box is now attached to Benson’s ticket. When he makes arrangements to transport his electronics from Bane, this is the box that will be there. He’ll reopen it on the other side of the checkpoint, and the envelope will be inside.”
“Good. Thanks.”
James nods, setting the box on the small stack behind him. Maybe already set up for others on the islands with scheduled departures.
“I imagine this is going to be juicy gossip, but I’d like this incident never to be repeated.
For a lot of reasons, but…” My voice trails off.
I just don’t want Cash to know I was involved.
I don’t want anyone to know. I want them all to believe that Benson made good on his promise and left Kala on his own.
“As a requirement of my job, I can’t say anything.
As someone who has been yelled at on several occasions for looking at Benson wrong and being assured that he’s not gay, I won’t be upset to see him go.
I’ll keep this between us, Onyx. I imagine this is difficult.
In many ways, you’re his longest victim. ”
That’s not true. Cash is. But I don’t remind him of Cash.
“Thanks,” I say and head for the door.
I’m not sure if I feel lighter or guilty as I make my way back to my house to prep for my students later this afternoon. I guess we’ll have to wait to see if he gets on the plane. As much as I’d like to pretend I don’t feel anything at all right now, my stomach churns.
He hasn’t been my best friend in so long. In a lot of ways, I feel like I’m losing him all over again. Even though he hasn’t actually been here for years.