Chapter 25
BOONE
Since Kennedy had left, I'd buried myself in work. I wanted to finish the work at the brewery so I could move onto the furniture for the inn. I also wanted to increase my stock of chairs and picnic tables.
It meant that I was keeping a brutal schedule, working as many hours as I was physically able. I tended to fall into bed at the end of the night exhausted.
No matter how much I tried not to think about her, she inevitably crept into my thoughts. I'd remember the day she toured the shop, how we spent all our free time in my apartment.
Soon, my house would be built, and I could move into a home that held no memories of my time with Kennedy. I was both looking forward to that and sad that there would be a place where her scent and memory didn't linger.
But it was what I needed. She'd left without a backward glance, and I needed to move on. I was sure it was easier for her, traveling to a new place. Memories didn't assault her when she was trying to sleep.
It was eight at night before I stopped to stretch. In the evenings, I worked on making chairs. It was easy and repetitive work. I rarely needed to think about what I was doing. I could get lost in a zone, but that meant that I forgot to stop for meals more often than not.
My stomach rumbled just as the door opened.
My heart flipped in excitement. Had Kennedy come back to tell me she'd made a mistake in leaving?
Beck stepped inside, carrying a pizza box. "You've been hiding out."
"You brought food." I ripped off my goggles and wiped the sweat from my brow.
"Thought we could eat outside. It's not too bad out."
I wouldn't know because I hadn't even ventured outside of the shop the last few days. I worked from the time I woke up until I went to bed. I ate whatever frozen meals I had in my fridge and hid from the world.
I didn't want to know what Kennedy was doing or whether anyone had an opinion about the way she left.
It hurt too much to even think about.
I led the way outside, grabbing a couple of beers from the fridge in the back. Outside, I set the beers on a small end table and started a fire in the pit.
Once it was burning, I grabbed a slice of pizza from the box and bit into it. I quickly ate a few more pieces and chased them down with a beer. I was glad that Beck wasn't talking. Chatter was the last thing I wanted to hear. "You're not hungry?"
"I ate with Clara. I thought I'd stop by and see how you're doing."
I brushed the crumbs off my jeans, wondering if these were the same ones I'd worn yesterday and, if so, whether I'd slept in them. It was entirely possible, which meant I needed to wash my sheets. They'd be covered in dust. I probably needed a shower too. "As you can see, I'm fine."
He lowered his elbows to his thighs. "When was the last time you showered? Changed your clothes? Stepped outside?"
I stiffened. "I don't see why any of that matters."
Beck chuckled. "I've been where you are. I've screwed up royally. The only difference was that neither of us left. I wanted to—I had my flight scheduled—but then Gina visited for Christmas, and I was stuck here. Best thing that ever happened."
"I know what happened between you and Clara. You don't have to repeat it every time we're together like it's some kind of life lesson," I said rudely and immediately regretted it.
Beck sighed. "Are you going to go after her?"
"She left. It's over." And I didn't want to say it out loud, but she hadn't even bothered to contact me after the first couple of texts.
She could be busy. Obviously, whatever the job had been came with a bonus large enough to convince her to leave early and not take her usual break in Miami.
So it was possible she was too busy to talk, but my heart didn't want to believe that she'd ignore me.
That she'd moved on. It was a war I fought in my head every day.
He raised a brow. "Is it really?"
"If she wanted to be here, she would be."
"You know it's more complicated than that. Her home is in Miami, and her business is wherever it takes her. You're going to have to tell her how you feel and ask her to stay."
"I don't have to do anything." I'd been fighting this very instinct for days. Shouldn't I just get on a plane and talk to her? And then what happens when she says she never felt anything for me? That she'd already forgotten about our time together? I couldn't take the pain of that.
"Do you love her?"
"So much it hurts." I couldn't believe she'd walk away, but the evidence was right there in front of us. It couldn't be avoided or talked around.
"Let's look at the facts. You love her but never told her how you felt. So when she got a lucrative offer, she went. There was nothing holding her here."
When he put it like that, it sounded a hell of lot different than how I'd rationalized it in my head. Hadn't she left me? But what if I hadn't given her a reason to stay? "She had to know how I felt, and if she loved me, wouldn't she have said something?"
"Maybe she needed to hear it from you."
His words landed with a thud in my chest. What if she was just as scared as I was? "We'd said our relationship would only last while she was here."
"Things change."
I nodded miserably. "They did for me."
His forehead wrinkled. "The question is, did they change for her too? And if so, what are you going to do about it?"
"Isn't she coming back for the snow room's reveal? I'll talk to her then." But that seemed like a long time away. So much could happen in a few weeks. What if she decided that she never really loved me at all?
"If you want Kennedy, I think you have to go to her and tell her what you're willing to give up for her."
I gestured around us. "I'm building a business and a home here."
"Think how convincing you'll be when you tell her you're willing to give it all up to be with her."
"I don't know if I am though." Could I walk away from the business I was building to live in a beachfront condo? Would I be happy if I couldn't work with my hands and build something?
"How would you feel if you never get another chance with her?"
"Like my heart was ripped out of my chest." Because that's how I felt the last few days.
"If you want to build your business, you'll make it happen no matter where you live. Since I took a step back, nothing has really changed. Sure, I don't travel as much, but then again maybe I never needed to. A lot can be done virtually now."
"Yeah, but your job is consulting. Mine is to build items out of wood that are difficult and heavy to ship. I need to be on location to really have a chance."
"You think those Miami people don't want handmade goods?"
"Probably not. Isn't modern furniture all the rage there?" I asked, even as my mind weighed the possibilities. Could I go to Kennedy and tell her how I felt?
"Whatever you decide to do, you know we'll support you. But I think it's a mistake not to go after her and at least tell her how you feel."
"I don't know what to do. I thought my life was here." I'd never seriously considered moving. Could I do it?
* * *
A few days later, I got an answer of sorts.
Kennedy: I'm heading home to check on my condo.
Boone: Are you done with the job?
Kennedy: I gave him my suggestions. I think they're amazing, but he wanted to hire me on a full-time basis.
I'd hate it if she worked full-time in New York. It would mean she'd never move here, and I wasn't sure I could move to New York. There was no space there for a workshop.
Boone: You don't want that?
Kennedy: I'll never work for another hotel again. I built the business so I could have autonomy. It wasn't an easy decision though. He offered me a lot of money.
Boone: You have to do what makes you happy.
Kennedy: Yeah.
And that was it. Not that she wanted to come see me. She went home to Miami. The snow room reveal was coming up, and she'd be in town for that. Should I wait for it, or should I meet her in Miami?
I couldn't shake the idea that she'd told me her whereabouts for a reason. She'd reached out. But what did it mean?
The next day, I was working in the shop when I saw my future stretch out before me with endless orders for furniture and long hours in my shop with no one to go home to. My brothers and sister would get married, have a few kids, and be happy. What would I have?
I was building a business and a home, but they were meaningless without someone to share them with. And not just anyone. Kennedy.
I closed the shop and showered. Then I packed my bags. I wasn't sure when I was going to be home. I'd already sent a huge stock of items to the hardware store, and I left instructions for Beck to assist with any other orders while I was out of town.
I needed to hire a manager. Maybe I could work part-time here, and then the rest of the year in Miami. It wasn't ideal, but it could work. The more I thought about it, the more excited I got. It was crazy how when you opened your mind to the possibilities, more flowed to you.
I got the first flight that I could to Miami before I realized that I didn't have her address. I researched Kennedy's friend, Jodi, and reached out to her on social media, asking for her help.
She told me she’d let me know when Kennedy was on her way home, and gave me her address so I could meet her there.
I needed to tell her how I felt. As soon as I decided to go to her, it felt like I couldn't hold it inside any longer.
I checked into a hotel and practiced my speech. I didn't bother to change into shorts or a T-shirt. I was a flannel and jeans kind of guy. If she didn't like that, then she didn't want me.
But I'd have to get used to the weather if I was going to be with Kennedy. She was a Miami girl through and through.
I went to the address that Jodi texted me.
As I waited by her door, I braced myself for the idea that she might have already moved on.
But Jodi had been willing to help me. Did she know something I didn't?
A few minutes later, Kennedy walked out of the elevator looking achingly beautiful in a short white dress and silver heels. When she turned to walk toward me, my heart skipped a beat, and she paused. "Boone."
"I was hoping we could talk."
She resumed walking, her keys in her hand. Her expression was carefully blank, and she said, "Okay."
I waited for her to unlock the door and stepped inside her condo. The kitchen was to the left of the door, and the windows covered the walls in front of me. "The view is stunning."
"I love it," she said easily as she locked the door behind us.
I walked deeper into the living room when she didn't move.
I didn't want to be so close to the door.
It was too easy to open it and tell me to get out.
I paused in front of the large windows and turned to face her.
"I wanted to tell you how I felt the night you left.
I should have done it sooner. And that's on me. "
A crease appeared on her forehead. "I was looking forward to spending time with you that night too. But then, I got the email from Barrett, and I thought the job would be a good opportunity. I had some great ideas for the rooftop, but Barrett just wanted to pay me to work full-time for Westbourne Hotels. I had a feeling he wanted me to stop consulting with other hotels.”
I stepped toward her. "You hated New York."
She looked away. "I usually stop at home between jobs so that I can reset. But I went straight from Denver to New York. It was a shock."
"You hated the noise, the people, how crowded it got." I'd never been there myself, but I could imagine. "You missed the mountains. The trees. The wildlife."
She moved her gaze to mine, and her expression was pained. "I missed you."
I sucked in a breath. "I know we said that our relationship would only last while you were in town, but at some point, I fell in love with you. And I can't see a future without you in it."
She opened her mouth to speak, and I raised my hand to stop her. "I know your life is here, and I want you to know that I'm ready to move with you. I can work from anywhere, or at least I'll figure something out. All that matters is that I'm with you."
"You'd move to Miami to be with me?" she asked incredulously.
"I'd go wherever you are." I ached to touch her, but I held myself back.
"You'd live in this small, one-bedroom apartment without access to a workshop?"
"I'd have to figure that part out. I still want to build furniture, so if I have to rent a space, then I will."
She stepped closer so that we were only a few inches apart now. "You'd be willing to do all of that for me? You'd leave your family, your business, and the house you wanted to build?"
"I'm in love with you. There is no future without you in it. I just don't know how you feel." This was the moment I'd been waiting for. She could tell me that it was a fling and she felt nothing, or she could tell me that she was in love with me too.
She set her palm on my chest right above my racing heart. "I love you, Boone. I thought you'd never say those words to me. Even if you felt them, I worried that you'd bury them down deep or decide that a future together wasn't possible. I didn't see a way out."
"As long as we're together, we can figure everything else out."
She sighed, and I took that as my answer, cupping her cheek, and kissing her,
pouring everything I'd felt the last few days into that kiss.
No matter what we decided, I'd be by her side.