Chapter Thirty
This was the one. The final installation and the one closest to her heart.
Tammy centred herself, focusing on the natural environment before she started her dad’s sunrise tribute.
With her van in for repair until Tuesday, Davey and Breda had given her a lift and were somewhere up above, knowing she’d rather be alone for this one.
She guessed Ruan must be up there too, having arranged to meet her after the installation was done.
Although she loved being with him, she was glad that he wasn’t there as a distraction.
Even though it was late afternoon, it was still very warm and she was in shorts and a vest top, glad of the damp sand and shallow pools to cool her feet. A small group had gathered on the beach, kept at a safe distance by the rope cordon and steward, his orange hi-vis at odds with the landscape.
She took a deep breath and murmured to herself: ‘This is for you, Dad.’
Now they came, striding across the beach towards her: all the people she loved and cared about. Davey, Breda, Lola, her friends – and, trailing a little way behind, Ruan. It felt right that he was part of the group.
They started to applaud as they neared, and Tammy’s heart felt so full she was sure it was going to burst and that she’d start sobbing uncontrollably.
Davey reached her first, pointing at something in the centre of her design. ‘You missed a bit!’ he called.
‘What?’ Tammy’s eyes flew to the spot. What had she missed? What had gone wrong?
‘What?’ she demanded again when he reached her. ‘What can you see from above?’
‘He’s joking!’ Breda said. ‘He’s winding you up. Davey, I am going to disown you.’
Davey put his arm around her. ‘I am joking. It’s perfect. Your dad would be proud.’
The tears wouldn’t be stopped now. Tammy cried and Breda handed her a tissue.
‘Now look what you’ve done,’ she chided Davey, although Tammy could see Breda’s own eyes were damp.
‘Don’t say anything else,’ Tammy warned Davey, though she was smiling as she said it.
‘I promise,’ he said.
She wiped her eyes and looked behind to find Ruan standing quietly, apart from them.
Lola stepped forward. ‘Can we take a closer look?’
‘Of course. I should do because it won’t be here forever.’
Lola hugged her and they started to walk around the artwork, accompanied by Hattie and Shefali.
Breda and Davey were on the other edge of the design, and when they reached the far side, closest to the ocean, they linked hands.
The sun was sinking lower, the sky turning a deep corn gold as it made its way to the horizon.
Briefly, while her friends took photos of themselves with the design, Tammy was left alone – until she spotted Ruan hanging back a few metres away. He obviously didn’t want to intrude but she beckoned him over with a nod of welcome.
‘It is wonderful,’ he said quietly, as if in awe of her – of the whole experience.
‘Thanks,’ she said. ‘You didn’t need to hang back just then.’
‘I didn’t want to hijack the moment. It’s a time for you and your family and friends.’
‘But you’re part of it too,’ she insisted. ‘You made sure I got here on Friday and helped me. After yesterday …’ She paused, remembering the joyful atmosphere at the party and, later, in her bed. ‘You’re one of us now. If you know what I mean.’
‘Am I?’ he said, as if unsure, and then smiled. ‘I’ll take that as a compliment.’
‘It is.’ She stood on tiptoes to kiss him, feeling the warmth of his lips on hers. Yet the kiss didn’t go on as long as she’d expected or hoped.
Still holding him, and with him holding her, she looked into his eyes and saw that he looked tired.
‘Are you OK?’ she asked.
‘Fine. Just a bit knackered.’
‘Have you been on the water this morning?’
‘No. At the caravan.’
She frowned. ‘In this gorgeous weather? I’d have thought you’d be desperate to get out there.’
‘I did some work,’ he said.
She rolled her eyes. ‘You work too hard. I ought to have a word with Hector.’
He laughed. ‘I’d like to see that. He’s OK, really.’
Lola and friends had now gathered with Davey and Breda at the far edge of the design. She could see the waves creeping a little closer to them.
‘The tide has turned,’ she said to Ruan. ‘Come on, let’s go up on the cliffs to watch.’
‘There are a lot of people up there.’ Ruan pointed to the crowds gathering for their bird’s-eye view of the design. ‘Everyone’s raving about your work.’
‘That’s good. I think,’ Tammy added, thrilled but also taken aback by the scale of attention from the crowds. ‘It’s what I longed for but it’s also overwhelming.’
‘You deserve it,’ Ruan said, and then added, ‘You deserve everything and more.’
He sounded wistful, almost sad, as he praised her. Before she had time to wonder about his words, Davey and her friends walked towards her as the sky began to turn orange and the waves closed in on her sunrise.
Tammy took his hand. ‘Let’s go up top and then head to the party. I’m ready to let my hair down after all the drama!’
The festival went out with a bang, literally.
There was a headline band whom even Davey had heard of, plus a drone light show and fireworks that exploded over the sea in neon colours.
Every crackle and boom seemed to echo beyond the horizon, leaving Tammy to wonder fancifully how far away into the heavens it might be heard.
She stood with Ruan’s arm around her waist, feeling tired but ridiculously happy.
Finally, the last starburst vanished from the sky and only the lingering sharp smell of cordite hung in the air. Thousands of people began to troop back to the car parks and campsites, laughing and singing as the cleaning teams moved in to start to clear away the mess.
Ruan had gone to ask Kane if he wanted any help packing up the mobile bar.
‘That’s it. All over for another year,’ Lola said, joining Tammy in front of the beach bar that had served as festival HQ. ‘I’m sure they’ll ask you back.’
‘I hope so,’ Tammy said.
‘There’s no way they won’t. I overheard so many people going wild for your designs.’
From the hordes of people buzzing around, Davey and Breda emerged, and both congratulated her again, before Lola said her farewells. ‘I’m going home now. See you at yoga, hun.’
Once Lola had gone, Breda hugged Tammy and gushed, ‘You were amazing.’
‘She is,’ Davey agreed. ‘The real star of the show, not these bands.’
Tammy had never heard Davey be so effusive. She blushed. ‘That’s a bit much. The bands are the headliners and the reason thousands of people come. I’m very much a minor attraction.’
‘It used to be the surfing,’ Davey grumbled, ‘with a bit of music thrown in. Now it’s a huge Glastonbury-on-Sea.’
‘If you hadn’t noticed, there’s been no surf. That’s why the other entertainment is here.’
‘You’re a natural attraction though,’ Breda put in. ‘At least what you do has no impact on the environment.’
‘She’s right,’ Davey said with satisfaction.
Tammy was glad to see him smile. ‘I saw you singing along with the band,’ she said. ‘You knew most of the words.’
‘I’m not a complete old fart,’ he said. ‘Anyway, I suppose we’d better start trying to find the car. I don’t expect to get home until the small hours. See you tomorrow. I presume you’re getting a lift with Ruan.’
‘Yes, I am. See you tomorrow.’
Just as she was wondering when Ruan might reappear, he jogged over from the food and bar area, now a hive of activity with people hitching up their catering vans to pick-ups. ‘Kane and the crew don’t need me. They seem to have everything under control. Shall we go?’
They made their way off the beach, marvelling at how fast the crowds had drained off it.
It was like a wasteland now, with the bin bags and the night lights illuminating the mess and the scurrying army of cleaners.
Already she could hear hammering and clanging as the mobile stands and stages were being taken down.
Sean must have been there somewhere. She was so relieved not to have seen him.
Who knew what kind of trouble he might have caused if he’d seen her with Ruan.
Ruan slipped his arm around her shoulders, his soft shirt warm against her skin as the night air turned chilly. ‘Are you OK?’
‘Yeah. Fine … It’s been crazy and exciting and exhausting and now there’s the anti-climax. And … I wish Dad had been here to see it.’ As she admitted that, her throat was fuller, her chest tighter.
‘Of course you do. So do I,’ Ruan said as they strolled off the beach towards the performers’ parking area.
She stopped. ‘I wish he could have met you.’
Ruan didn’t reply but when Tammy looked at him closely, his eyes seemed bright, almost with tears.
‘I wish it too,’ he said. ‘You must miss him so much.’
Tammy started walking again, with her hand in Ruan’s.
‘I do miss him, but he would hate the thought of me spending my life grieving for him.’ Yet he’d never actually said that to Tammy.
They hadn’t had a chance to say goodbye.
She’d had no idea when he’d set off that morning with his fishing gear that she would never see him alive again. Her heart squeezed painfully.
‘No … I’m so sorry,’ he said again.
‘It’s not your fault I lost him. I only wish I knew what had happened that morning,’ she said.
She saw him swallow and glimpsed a deep sadness in his eyes – as she had done several times that evening.
When they’d reached his car and she climbed in, he added, ‘Not knowing must be agony.’
‘It was. It still is sometimes, but not all the time – tonight was a good night. Every day lately has been a good day.’ She almost said since he came along but checked herself.
He was clearly on edge about something. She wondered if he was tired, or stressed about work, because he’d been thoughtful all evening.
Even when the band had been playing and he’d been singing along, she’d thought he’d seemed distracted. Maybe she was being oversensitive. It had been a very hectic and emotional time and she was probably reading far too much into the situation.
‘I need my bed,’ she said, yawning, when they finally reached Porthmellow. Ruan parked outside the gallery on the harbour front.
‘Me too. Early start tomorrow. Hector has potential new clients coming into the office and wants the senior team in at seven to have a pre-meeting war council.’
‘Seven?’ she gasped in mock horror. ‘That man sounds like a tyrant.’
Ruan laughed. ‘He’s OK. I know where I stand with him and my colleagues are great. I feel valued and it’s nowhere near as cut-throat as my old firm in Bristol …’
‘You’re glad you moved then?’ she asked.
‘What do you think?’ Ruan said, and leaned over to her seat, kissing her, long and deliciously, uncaring of anyone walking past.
She was in two minds about whether to ask him back to the flat but tomorrow was Monday and he’d made it clear that he had an early start.
‘Speak tomorrow then?’ she said. ‘And don’t forget it’s Hattie’s birthday barbecue on Porthmellow beach on Wednesday evening.’
‘I won’t. Speak tomorrow.’
After another lingering kiss, Tammy got out of the car and was left alone outside the studio.
She brushed her fingers across her lips, wanting to reignite the fireworks that exploded when Ruan kissed her, and when he took her hand and touched her. Despite the success of the evening, and the past three days, she couldn’t stop a tremor of worry running through her.