Chapter Thirty-One
Ruan arrived home after work on Monday, hardly able to lift his eyes to the house, which seemed to loom through the sea mist, its blank windows accusing him.
He unlocked the van, threw his keys on a pile of papers, and swept dirty clothes off the sofa so he could sit down.
He had to tell Tammy about his suspicions. Every hour that he didn’t was another hour when he was breaking her trust, and yet he couldn’t bring himself to. Last night had felt like a sham – if he’d slept with her, it would have been dishonest.
How could he possibly have overlooked the previous history of the property?
It was literally his job to check details.
After his meeting, in his lunch break, he’d done some digging around online and found for certain that Seaspray had once been two dwellings.
He felt so troubled, he had no appetite, and one of his colleagues had asked him why he’d left most of his sandwiches.
He’d laughed and blamed a heavy night at the festival even though he’d been perfectly sober.
He checked the notes he’d made in his file again and revisited the online sites he’d used to confirm his suspicions, even though he hated reading the evidence presented in black and white on the screen.
He knew now that it had been one house until the 1930s, then converted into two ‘cottages’ until Walter had once again had it restored to one large residence. One half was called Vine Cottage and the other was Rosewarne. Inheriting Tammy’s home was bad enough, but that wasn’t what sickened him.
If there had been no other owner since his great-uncle, then that meant …
he’d got his hands on the place from someone.
And one of the former owners could only be Tammy’s father.
Not only did Ruan now own their beloved former home, he’d come by it from the man who’d contributed to her father’s downfall.
He closed the laptop brusquely. What was the point in even trying to work? He had to tell her and he had to do it now. After what she’d been through, she deserved nothing less than complete honesty, even if the news would be painful to them both.
The burden of knowledge he carried weighed heavy on his shoulders as he trudged down the alley at the side of the Harbour Studio.
He hadn’t phoned because he was worried Tammy would detect his despondent mood and he didn’t want to break the news on the phone or scare her by saying he had some dramatic secret to tell her.
For a few deluded seconds, he’d wondered if she might not be as upset as he anticipated. After all, it wasn’t his fault that he’d come into possession of the place, but it was going to be very difficult to explain that he’d had no contact with Walter or any expectation of an inheritance at all.
It all looked very much as though he’d come to Cornwall to gloat, rather than a horrible coincidence. No. Meeting Tammy was a coincidence but wanting to get closer to her certainly wasn’t. How could he ever get that across to her?
The second he rounded the corner, he saw Davey, who rose from a metal garden chair.
‘She’s not in,’ he said without any preamble.
‘Oh …’ Ruan didn’t know whether to be relieved or despairing. The inevitable had only been put off.
‘Was she expecting you?’
‘Not specifically. Not tonight … I sent a message earlier and had no reply, so I decided to call round and see if she was in …’ There was no way Ruan was going to give any more details. Even so, he was disappointed.
‘She would have been in but Hattie the yoga instructor fell over on the rocks in the cove. Tammy rushed off to take her to Penzance hospital.’
‘That sounds nasty. I hope Hattie’s OK.’ It was also probably why Tammy hadn’t replied to his message. ‘No worries. I’ll speak to Tammy when she can and I’ll leave you in peace.’
‘Hang on a minute,’ Davey said. ‘Do you want a drink? Beer? Tea?’
‘I’m driving …’ Ruan said, completely taken aback. He wanted to get away, but he sensed that Davey had taken a quantum leap by inviting him to stay. ‘But maybe a cup of coffee?’
‘Hmph. I only have instant. No fancy beans.’
‘Instant is fine,’ Ruan said. It would do no harm to be on better terms with Davey. He also hoped that, if he lingered, Tammy might come back or message, which he both dreaded and longed for.
‘Come inside. It’s getting chilly for my bones out here.’
Ruan was about to joke, You’re not old, but realised that any guff wouldn’t go down well with Davey.
Instead, he said nothing and followed Davey inside.
‘I was just finishing this vase.’ He showed Ruan the sinuous clay shape which was ready for firing.
‘Looks good to me,’ Ruan said, though he hardly knew what to say.
Davey had a wry smile on his lips as if he was aware Ruan had been lost for a reply. ‘Thanks,’ he said, filling the kettle and then grimacing. ‘I’m out of milk. I’ll fetch some more from the flat.’
Before Ruan could object and say he’d be fine with black coffee, Davey was on his way to his kitchen.
Ruan lingered in the studio, looking at the pots and vases on racks and shelves, all in various stages of decoration.
He knew from Tammy that the kiln was in a separate outhouse at the rear of the yard.
As he had with the vase, he admired the skilfully thrown shapes and the colours of the glazes, but he was no ceramics connoisseur.
Davey returned with a fresh carton of milk, made the drinks and handed one to Ruan.
‘Sorry about the mug. I use all the wonky ones for myself and visitors.’
Ruan smiled. ‘I’m sure the coffee will taste just as good.’
‘You should worry if you get my best china,’ Davey said, making Ruan smile and giving him encouragement. ‘I don’t know when Tammy will be back. You know what it’s like in hospitals these days. They’re so overworked …’
‘It’s fine. Like I said, I’ll call her when I get home.’
Davey put his mug on a worktop. ‘I – You probably worked out that I asked you to hang around for more than a social chat.’
Here we go, thought Ruan, bracing himself. This was where he’d get the warning about not letting Tammy down. Perhaps he should have expected it.
‘OK. What do you want to say?’ Ruan said, guessing the man would appreciate a direct approach.
‘You’re obviously someone she cares about. I’ve seen others come and go. You’re different.’
Ruan’s spirits lifted marginally even though it was a very awkward conversation to be having. ‘So’s Tammy.’
‘It’s serious between you, isn’t it?’
‘I think so. I hope so. I don’t want to put pressure on Tammy, though. I know she’s had a tough time.’
Davey emitted a huff. ‘You can say that again. It’s not been easy since her mother left.
Once they lost the house, Neil went downhill.
When he was found on the beach that morning, her life fell apart.
’ He paused. ‘We were all shattered by his passing. Tammy’s only started to rebuild her life in the past couple of years.
I don’t want to see her knocked down again. ’
‘No. No … I had no intention of doing that. I’d never want to hurt her …’ Ruan found the words dry in his mouth.
‘ Had ? What do you mean by that?’
Ruan tightened his grip on the steaming mug of coffee, deciding he had to start being completely honest with everyone. ‘There’s no easy way to say this …’
It was too late to unsay his piece now.
‘Boy, you’re not saying it at all. Spit it out. I can’t bear pussyfooting around.’ Davey glared at him and his tone became angry. ‘You’re going back to bleddy Bristol, aren’t you? You’re leaving her before you’ve even got going? Jesus.’
‘No. No, I’d never leave her.’
‘You’ve only known her a month,’ Davey scoffed.
‘That’s enough. Enough to know.’ Ruan stiffened his spine and kept his tone measured, even though his hackles were up.
‘I’m not a boy. I’m old enough to know when something – someone – is special.
Someone utterly unique and amazing has walked into my life.
I’m not leaving Tammy. Not unless she wants me to. It’s not that.’
‘Why would she want you to leave?’ Davey said, pouncing on his comment.
‘Because … Because I’ve found out something about Tammy’s old house. About Rosewarne,’ Ruan said.
‘Rosewarne?’ Davey’s forehead knotted. ‘Neil’s old place? What’s that got to do with you?’
‘You have to understand I didn’t know this until yesterday morning when I was clearing some ivy off the front. It’s all overgrown now and a bit of a wreck.’
‘What do you mean, you were clearing ivy off the house? I thought you lived in a caravan.’ Davey’s bushy eyebrows knitted together. ‘This isn’t some other woman’s house, is it?’
‘No. Nothing like that and I do live in a caravan, except it’s currently in the grounds of an old house that I’ve inherited. The house used to be two cottages. And one of them was Rosewarne.’
Davey stared at him. Ruan could almost see the questions building up like a towering cloud of a gathering storm. And if this was Davey’s reaction, what would Tammy’s be when he told her?
‘I think I should be telling Tammy this,’ he muttered. ‘I absolutely shouldn’t have spoken to you about it first.’ He abandoned the mug. ‘Thanks for the coffee. I really should be going now.’
Davey put his down too and folded his arms. He wasn’t as tall as Ruan, but he did look like a grizzly bear barring the way. ‘Oh no, boy. You can’t leave without explaining yourself. How the bleddy hell did you get hold of her house?’
‘I inherited it. It’s called Seaspray now, but I’d no idea that it had once been two cottages and that one of them was Rosewarne.
No idea at all. I didn’t even tell Tammy that I’d been left a place because …
well, I didn’t want to boast that I’d landed this amazing big place by the sea when she’d been struggling to find a permanent home until you helped her. ’
‘Jesus. Jesus Christ.’ The bear backed down, defeated. He sat down heavily on his office chair and put his head in his hands, muttering, ‘Bleddy hell …’
Ruan was very concerned. Was the guy going to have a heart attack? He might have guessed Davey would be shocked and annoyed, but not this devastated. He looked as if Ruan had told him someone had died.
‘Can I get you a glass of water? Davey … I’m so sorry that you’re this upset.’
Davey was slow to reply and eventually lifted his head. He looked as if he was about to burst into tears.
Ruan spoke softly. ‘I honestly had no idea – and I wish I could undo it, but Walter left me the place and now I need to tell her. Tonight, if I can.’
‘No,’ Davey snapped, taking Ruan aback. ‘No. You won’t go and tell her that – and correct me if I have this wrong – you now own the house she grew up in, and was happy in, and that her father gambled and drank away until he was forced to sell it to a man he hated.’
Ruan felt as though a cobra had struck. Or perhaps only a fiercely protective father figure. Either way, responding with anger would do no one any good.
‘I’m sorry,’ he replied calmly. ‘I wish none of it had happened. The house is falling apart. It needs a lot of money spending on it. I sold my flat and changed jobs so I could restore it.’
‘That’s not the point …’ Davey said.
Ruan stood tall and calm. He needed all his reserves of patience learned from taking the flak from emotional, often angry people. Yet this was different: this ire was directed at him personally.
‘It’s not the point, no, and I should have shared this with Tammy first, but now that you know, I must tell her immediately.’
Davey put his head in his hands again and started muttering. ‘No, I’m sorry. I’m sorry.’
Ruan waited a few moments to allow Davey to compose himself.
Finally, he lifted his head again. ‘Ignore me. I shouldn’t have let rip at you. Like you say, you can’t help it if the old bastard left it to you. Did you ever meet your uncle?’
‘Only once when I was small. I don’t even remember but my dad told me he’d visited the house. I don’t remember why and Dad isn’t sure to this day. I’ve recently found out, however, that my dad once approached Walter for a loan to get him out of a bad situation.’
Davey snorted.
‘I think you can guess how that went. My parents lost all their savings but they managed to make a new start. No thanks to Walter.’
‘Good on them,’ Davey said wearily. ‘And I’m sorry I kicked off, but I am begging you not to let Tammy know just yet.’
Ruan was taken aback. He guessed that Davey didn’t do a lot of begging. He seemed like a proud and strong man.
‘Can I ask why?’ Ruan said carefully.
‘You can, though it’s not going to help the situation.’ Davey’s voice cracked as if words were sticking in his throat. ‘There’s no easy way of saying this but I suppose I’ll have to get bleddy used to it …’ Finally, he sighed and said, resignedly, ‘I’ve been diagnosed with prostate cancer.’
Ruan reeled. Davey had delivered a sucker punch that took his breath away. ‘I’m sorry to hear that. Are you …’ He couldn’t finish the sentence.
‘Going to die?’ Davey said, eyebrows raised. ‘There’s always that possibility but not if I can help it, no. Not yet anyway, but it will be a bitter blow to Tammy and I don’t want her to have any more nasty surprises.’
‘I’m very sorry to hear it,’ Ruan said again, his mind torn between concern for Davey and for Tammy. ‘I wasn’t going to ask what the prognosis was, only if you were having treatment. She’ll surely have to know if you are.’
‘She will and I agree you do need to tell her about Rosewarne, but can you wait until she’s had time to process my news first?’
‘It feels like a betrayal …’ Ruan murmured. ‘But I also don’t want to add to your worry – or hers.’ He paused. ‘I can hold on for a while, if you like.’
Davey sighed in relief. ‘That’s what I want.
Somehow, I need to put as positive a spin on this news as I can.
The consultant says it’s been caught early and it can be treated.
I plan to be here a good while yet but after her mum going and losing Neil, Tammy has been through enough heartbreak.
It’s going to be a worrying time for her, probably more than for me. ’
Davey put his hand briefly on Ruan’s arm. ‘I had my doubts about you when you first walked into Tammy’s life, but I think you’re a decent bloke. I can see how much you mean to her and I know I can rely on you to keep this from her a while longer – until the right time.’
Ruan nodded, feeling desolate inside. ‘When will you tell her?’
‘Soon, I promise. I just need to pick a moment when the time is right.’
Ruan had no choice but to accept Davey’s promise, except he had a horrible feeling there would never be a ‘right’ time to deliver such upsetting news.