Chapter 29
MADDIE
Maddie put her phone back down on the bed, after checking it for the twentieth time in the last hour, hoping that there would be a text from someone, anyone, to fill the monotony of the endless hours she’d spent on the maternity ward this week.
She was in a room by herself, which was good in the respect that she could watch TV, sleep when she wanted, chat to people on the phone and leave the light on all night to read Valerie Keogh’s latest thriller.
It also meant that when Jessie, Val or Alyssa, or any combination of that trio, descended with food, gifts and constant chat, she could blether to them until their hearts were content.
But at the end of every night, they got to go home, and that’s when the downside of her solo accommodation kicked in.
There was way too much time to think. Way too much time to worry about her baby.
And, in some moments, way too much time to be sad.
When they’d rushed here on Christmas Eve, she’d been beyond grateful to see that Sharon, her midwife, was here. She’d been swiftly hooked up to all kinds of monitors and kept in overnight until the doctors did the rounds the next morning.
That’s when she’d found out that she’d had things called Braxton Hicks contractions – pains that mimic the beginning of labour just to scare the crap out of you.
In this case, though, it was a good thing, because when they’d checked her over, they’d also discovered that her blood pressure was too high, and the baby’s heart rate was a little fast too.
‘It’s a relatively common occurrence called gestational hypertension,’ Dr Rose, the consultant on the ward, had told her.
‘It’s not something to get overly worried about, but we’d like to keep you in, just so that we can keep a close eye on you and make sure it doesn’t develop into pre-eclampsia.
’ She’d then explained both conditions in much more detail before finishing with, ‘We’d like to confine you to bed as much as possible.
Keep your feet elevated and try to avoid any kind of stress or exertion. ’
At first, there had been relief, because at least she was in the right place to keep her baby safe.
She still felt that way. If she was given the choice to leave tonight, she’d refuse, because the comfort of knowing that Sharon or one of the other midwives would be right there at the press of a button made up for any amount of loneliness.
However, she had to admit that lying here hour after hour, thinking about the last year, about losing her mum, about the future, and – oh, her toes curled to admit this even to herself – imagining Dylan, cuddled up with his ex-wife on the back of his fricking pick-up truck, snogging her under the brim of that cowboy hat, gave her the kind of anxiety that the doctor had warned her to avoid.
Dylan and Rachel. Why hadn’t he told her that he was getting back with his ex-wife? Or that he’d invited her over for Christmas?
She put her hands on her belly. ‘Sorry if my heart raced there, little one. Just thinking about your dad. I’ve made a bit of a mess of things.’
Her mind reverted to her previous thoughts and she added another concern – there was too much time to talk to her baby and she was getting worried that the wee thing would come out wearing a frown and an expression of disapproval.
It had plenty of reasons to be miffed, given the current status of its parents’ relationship.
When she’d first been admitted, she’d decided she couldn’t take the pain of waiting for Dylan to tell her he was reconciling with Rachel.
She’d also dreaded the thought of explaining why she was in hospital.
It was one thing hiding a pregnant body on a FaceTime call, but another camouflaging the fact that she was in a room surrounded by monitors and machines that beeped.
That’s why, early on Christmas morning, she’d sent him a text.
Hey, Happy Christmas! I know we planned to FaceTime today but Val and Jessie have surprised me with a week in Tenerife as a Christmas pressie. We leave today!
She knew that he’d believe that, because Jessie had a house in Tenerife that she visited often, and she’d told Maddie she could go there any time.
Jessie says there’s no signal there, so will be out of touch for a while. Will call you when I get back. Hope Santa is good to you…
Her thumbs had hovered at that point and then she’d deleted that last line, deciding it was too corny, and gone with…
Hope you have a fab Christmas, Mxx
He’d immediately rung her, but she hadn’t answered, so he’d fired a text back straight away, and he must have had a beer or two – not a surprise given that it would have been 1 a.m. there – because he was a little bit mushy.
Gutted I won’t get to chat to you. Have I told you I miss you lately? Because I do. Happy Christmas x
Maddie had wanted to reply, pointing out that he wouldn’t be missing her when his ex-wife shuffled into town in her Daisy Dukes and cowboy boots.
Yes, she might be slightly jealous that Rachel had legs that seemed to go on forever, while Maddie was currently the circumference of a garden hut. Or maybe it just felt that way.
For the countless time, she asked herself why he hadn’t told her about Rachel?
He had no real reason to keep it hidden.
They weren’t a couple. They’d both agreed that there were no strings or expectations.
It didn’t make any sense, but maybe he was just waiting for the right moment.
That seemed to be the story of their relationship.
Before she could slip any further into her gloom, the door opened, and Sharon came in, wearing a Santa hat and tinsel around the neck of her midwife uniform scrubs, with a small troop behind her. ‘I found this lot loitering in the hallway and shifted them before they caused any trouble.’
‘That’s my very favourite thing to do,’ Val said as she came in next, laden down with bags, Jessie and Alyssa following her.
Maddie’s favourite midwife came over, lifted the hospital iPad from the table next to her bed, popped a blood oxygen monitor on her finger, an automatic blood pressure cuff on her arm and began recording readings from the various other machines that she was hooked up to.
Over at the window, Jessie and Val were already taking things out of bags. Bottles of juice. A cake. Some cartons of Chinese food. A bag of prawn crackers.
‘Are you lot moving in here?’ Maddie joked, but every word oozed gratitude. She could be lonely again later, but right now she was going to make the most of her friends being here.
‘Something like that,’ Alyssa confessed, taking a seat next to the bed and reaching for Maddie’s free hand.
She gave it a squeeze. ‘After much persuasion and bribery with multi-packs of Wotsits, Sharon has agreed to “forget” we’re here after visiting ends, so that we can see in the new year with you. ’
‘Oh Jesus, am I crying again?’ Maddie asked, sniffing. She’d cried so often over the last week that sometimes her body just thought it was her normal state and forgot to alert her.
‘You are, and you can stop that immediately,’ Sharon joked, reading some kind of paper tracing as she spoke.
Maddie had developed such a fondness for this midwife, ever since she’d admitted that she hadn’t told the father of her baby that she was pregnant either. Maddie had told her about the premise of the Messed-Up Mothers Club and invited her to join.
Alyssa was still sharing their plans for the night. ‘The best thing is that you can’t move, so you’re stuck with us. You’ll be a captive audience if these two start their Abba medley.’
‘There will be no crying and no singing,’ Sharon said, still feigning the stern ward sister act.
‘I bet you’re a great time at parties,’ Jessie teased her.
Both of her older pals were sitting on plastic chairs by the window, but Maddie knew that as soon as Sharon left, they’d pull up those chairs and she’d be surrounded.
Right now, she couldn’t think of anywhere she’d rather be.
Her baby was safe. Her friends were here.
And the long night that had stretched out in front of her had suddenly got so much better.
At least, that’s what she thought until the phone on her bed sprang into life. Everyone that would call her was here, so… Nope, it must be Orla. Or perhaps Sheena, phoning to tell her what had happened when she broke the news to her husband that she was moving back out.
Maddie picked it up slightly hesitantly.
Not Sheena. Not Orla.
Dylan.
She dropped it like it was on fire.
‘Are you going to answer it?’ Alyssa asked her, the only one who had a clear line of sight to Dylan’s name.
Maddie shook her head as she declined the call.
‘Nope. He’s probably calling to say that him and Rachel have remarried and they’re off to live in the Little House on the Prairie.’
Despite the sore subject, that made Alyssa laugh. ‘You know that’s not a real place, right?’
‘In my mind it… Ouch. Holy shit, what was that?’
Sharon was still staring at the white tracing paper that was churning out of the machine next to her. ‘I was waiting for that. Have you been feeling any contractions in the last couple of hours, Maddie?’
‘Only those Braxton Hicks things again. They were a bit haywire an hour or so ago, but they calmed down until now.’
She’d been having them on and off for the last couple of days, and Candy, one of the other midwives, had reassured her yet again that they were perfectly normal.
Not this time. Sharon put her hand on Maddie’s arm. ‘That’s because they weren’t Braxton Hicks. Ladies, I don’t know if you’re going to make it to midnight, because Maddie here is definitely in labour.’