35. Lawton
Lawton
“Come on, Tali. Come dance with me.” Her aunt Betty Jo tugged at her arm, trying to get her out of her seat.
“Go on Betty Jo. I’m not ‘bout to get up and embarrass myself. “Tali giggled.
“What? You don’t want Law to know you can’t dance? He don’t know you got the moves of them white folks.” She laughed.
“I can dance,” Talitha swore. “Can’t I Law?”
“I don’t know, love. Can you?” I teased.
“Come on Tali!” Betty Jo begged. “You know this was Mama favorite song.”
Shaking my head, I laughed. It was like Gema for her favorite song to be Brick House by The Commodores. “Go dance with your aunt.” I nudged her with my elbow.
Talitha hopped out of her seat and grabbed hands with her aunt. The two of them stood in the center of the patio and rolled their hips while giggling and singing the words to the song. Today had been sullen, from the time we woke up till we were leaving the graveyard, Talitha had been quiet.
During the service, she shed quiet tears while staring at Gema’s casket. The only time she took her eyes off it was when the officiant called her name. For the majority of the service, she sat with her elbows resting on her knees and head propped in her hand.
When it was time for her to view the body, I held onto her as we walked up to the casket. When she went to go put the bracelet on Gema’s wrist, she finally broke down. Watching her shoulders shudder as she bawled her eyes out broke my heart.
It brought me back to the day I’d buried my father. I couldn’t fathom being in that position for a second time so once Talitha was done grieving I knew I needed to work harder at mending my relationship with my own mother.
It was time for me to truly forgive and move on, and by forgive I mean by allowing her the chance to be in my life in the present.
Talitha and her aunt danced for three songs straight, and when the last one ended, she walked up behind me and ran her hands down my chest. When Teddy Pendergrass’ “You’re My Latest, My Greatest Inspiration” began to play, she leaned down and requested.
“Come dance with me Harvey.” Here she was already out of breath but asking me to dance.
“You haven’t tired yourself out yet?”
“Nope!” she popped. “I’m just getting started,” she tittered.
Grabbing her hands, I kissed her palms and rose from the seat. Laying my hand at the small of her back, I ushered her around the table.
Wrapping my arm around her waist, I pulled her into my chest and rocked her side to side. Talitha laid her head on my chest and held onto me while I sang the lyrics of the song to her.
“I don’t think I could have done this without you being here.”
“I keep telling you love, I wouldn’t want to be anywhere but here. Gema meant a great deal to me. I’m going to miss her so much.”
“As am I. I’m happy that I’ve got years of memories with her.”
Grabbing her by the hand, I held her back slightly and tapped the middle of her chest. “She will always be right here. You can rest peacefully knowing that at the end of the day, you did right by her.
She knew it and everyone else around here knows it. You gave up your life to take care of her. She was happy and wanted for nothing. Your job is done love. You succeeded and now it’s time for you to finally live for you.
You can be as selfish as you want because you deserve it. Don’t let anyone make you feel like you’re wrong for finally choosing yourself. It’s what Gema would’ve wanted.”
“It is, huh?”
“Yes love. It sure is. It’s time for you to let go and love without restrictions. I know you feel like Gema was all you had but love… you have me as well. And I’m never going away,” I avowed and sealed my declaration with a kiss.
* * *
The night was officially winding down which meant my time with Talitha was getting ready to be interrupted for at least twenty-four hours. I had to head back so I could be up bright and early to show William around the school.
“For somebody who barely eats, you’ve been fucking that food up,” I joked with Talitha who was now on her fourth plate of the night.
“I know. I can’t stand my Mama but her ass can cook. Can’t take it away from her. It’s been a while since I’ve been able to eat like this.” She smiled.
“I bet.” I chuckled.
Talitha wiped her mouth and adjusted her body in her chair so she could lean her head on my chest.
“Tired?” I asked, knowing she was. She’d barely slept. If I called her ass out on it, she would lie and say she’d been sleeping. She’d laid in the bed every night with her eyes closed pretending to sleep.
I knew her breathing patterns therefore I knew she wasn’t sleep. She was going to crash eventually and when it happened, I prayed we would be back at home so she could be comfortable.
“I am. I know you gotta get on the road so we can go.”
“The damn beans over here bubbling. Who the last person who touched ‘em?” Willearl asked.
“That one right there.” Talitha’s mother tossed her head at her.
“Tali, you pregnant?” Bonnie asked.
Popping her head up from my chest, Talitha stared at Bonnie. “What? Why you say that?”
“You done ruint the beans. Only time red beans spoil is when a pregnant woman touch ‘em,” Bonnie shared.
What the fuck? My eyes trailed down to her stomach. It was flat. Nawl couldn’t be.
“Yeah she is,” her mama blurted out. “Smelt it on her when she showed up at the hospital. That’s why she ain’t drink that wine Betty Jo offered her.”
Talitha hopped out of her chair, leaned across the table, and pointed her finger in her mama face. “Shut the fuck up! You don’t know what you talking ‘bout.”
“If I don’t, what you getting so mad for?” she countered. “What… ya’ ole man ain’t know? Must not be his.”
“Jalitha, I’m warning you right now to shut yo’ mouth. Fo’ I shut it for you.”
“Tuh,” she scoffed. “Girl full of baby.”
Snatching her blazer off the back of the chair, Talitha roared, “Let’s go!”
“What you wanna run for, now? Cause the truth out. I knew you liked older men. That’s why you went after mine,” her mama spat bitterly.
Before she could get another word out, Talitha was lunging across the table and slapping her mama in the face. “I was five, you twisted bitch. What the fuck did I want with Joe Lee?” she raged.
When she said that, everything got quiet. From the way everybody was looking, it was evident that some shit was getting ready to pop off.
Not even giving either of them a chance to swing, I jumped from my chair and grabbed Talitha up in a bear hug. “Calm the fuck down,” I based into her ear.
“No! She started it.”
“I don’t give a fuck who started it. The dirt ain’t even set on your grandmother’s grave and look how y’all carrying on.”
“Why won’t you just tell ‘em the truth, Tali? Tell ‘em how you tried to seduce my husband. That’s why Mama and Daddy took you out my house.”
“I tried to seduce your husband. Joe Lee ain’t never married you. Muthafucka couldn’t even take you down to the courthouse and give you his last name. He knew you was a money hungry bitch. Y’all ain’t nothing more than common law.
You better hope he got you on some papers cause if not, when his ass die you gon’ be one broke, miserable bitch.
You want me to tell them… fine!” she yelled.
“Joe Lee molested me. That’s why Gema n’em adopted me.
Instead of y’all sister taking my side, she went down to the police station and spoke on his behalf.
Had everybody thinking I was lying. And neither of y’all called her out on it. Y’all knew I had no control of the shit and nobody took up for me. That’s why Papa Joe and Gema went hard for me. It ain’t have shit to do with favoritism like she been saying all these years.”
“Tali,” Betty Jo mumbled. “Don’t go spilling family business.
“Family business!” Talitha scoffed. “You fake ass wanna be Jill Scott. This what I meant when I said you be straddling the fence. Fuck the family. Yo’ sister said ‘fuck me when I was a child’, fuck I’m protecting the family for.”
I held onto her while she got her frustrations off her chest. The whole time they was fussing, I was trying to figure out why I hadn’t noticed that she was pregnant. Granted the other night I realized her pussy was wetter, but I chalked that shit up to her emotions.
Was she planning on getting rid of it? Is that why she hadn’t told me? Or did she not know? That couldn’t be the case, a woman knows when something is different with her body.
I didn’t want to get ahead of myself and accuse her of trying to abort my baby but something about this situation wasn’t sitting right with me.
“Put me down, Lawton.” She swiveled in my arms until I let her go. “Fuck all of y’all. Don’t call me for shit. I’ll have Gema lawyer reach out to y’all when I get her estate settled. I’m done with this and y’all. Don’t nobody here need to even breath my fucking name again.”
Paying her mama one last look, Talitha turned and stormed away. Mrs. Jessie was up out of her seat following her out the door. Flickering my thumb across my nose, I shook my head at the confused faces before leaving myself.
When I slid in the back of the truck, Talitha had her face down in her phone. I know she sensed my presence; she knew I was staring at her waiting for an answer. Instead of looking at me, she fiddled with the phone the entire ride to the hotel.
When Baker pulled up to the hotel, he helped Mrs. Jessie out the back. When Talitha stood to get out, I put my hand on her chest to stop her from moving. Nodding my head at Baker, I let him know we needed a minute. As soon as door closed, I leaned up and dropped my elbows on my knees.
“How long have you known?”
Instead of answering, she fiddled with her hands.
“How long Talitha?” I roared.
“A couple of weeks.”
“And when were you planning on sharing the news with me?”
“I don’t know.” She struggled to get out.
“You wasn’t. That’s why you felt comfortable enough spewing that bullshit you’d convinced yourself of. Had your Mama not outed yo’ ass, you would have gotten rid of it.”
“That’s not true, Harvey. I wasn’t planning on having an abortion,” she denied.
“Must have. You kept the shit from me.”