Chapter 20 #2
I went around doing my last checks and making sure all my charting was done.
So far, all the babies were good and I’d even prepped for the next nurse but one of the machines going off had me rushing over to find baby Kane in distress.
Along with Samantha, two other nurses came over to help and we quickly began life saving measures.
As hard as we worked though, an hour baby Kane was pronounced deceased and I was distraught.
I’d been taking care of him for weeks and had grown so close to him as with all my babies that I instantly felt like I’d lost my own baby.
“You did what you could Essence, don’t be hard on yourself.
” Samantha tried to comfort me, but her words did nothing to ease the pain I felt.
Resting a reassuring hand on my shoulder she went to finish whatever it was she was doing and a fresh set of tears burned my eyes.
I’d initially been so hysterical that she’d told me she’d handle the paperwork so I could leave.
In a daze, I left the floor and then the building, I managed to keep myself from breaking down until I was behind the wheel of my car.
Before I could even stop myself, my shoulders shuddered, and tears flooded my face.
I don’t know how long I was sitting there before my phone began vibrating in my lap.
Seeing that it was Valentino, I tried to wipe my eyes before answering and letting out a deep, shaky breath, but I was bawling again by the time his voice came on the line.
“Essence? Sweetheart, what’s wrong?” the concern in his voice only had me getting more hysterical as I tried to explain.
“I-I lost a baby toniiiiight!” I blubbered, hiccupping. I let my head rest on the steering wheel and swiped my face, leaving my hand over my mouth to try and cover up my wailing.
“Fuck. Where you at? You need to pull over. You don’t need to be driving in this condition,” he advised, and I could hear him moving around in the background.
“I h-haven’t even left yeeeeet!”
“Okay, don’t move. I’m coming to get you.
Just stay on the phone with me, baby.” His voice was low and soothing, but it wasn’t stopping the constant flow of tears streaming down my face as I thought about Kelson.
He was such a quiet baby and one of the best ones in the nursery.
I thought for sure he was going to be going home soon.
We’d gotten his weight up a whole pound already, and his lungs were getting stronger every day.
There was no reason for him to have taken a turn the way he had, and the thought of him not being there the next day when I returned to work had my stomach in knots.
“I don’t knowwww- I don’t know what happened! He was dooooing sooo gooood!”
“I’m sure he was, baby. Sometimes fucked up shit just happens, though. I know if there was anything you could do, you would’ve done it. I’m sure about that.” Valentino encouraged.
I tried to allow his words to wash over me because it was true.
Hell, if I could, I would have done anything to save that baby.
The thought had my hand moving to my stomach, and I thought about the life I was carrying.
My whole job was to preserve life, and I was about to willingly throw my baby’s life away just because of shit it couldn’t control.
That shit had me crying harder as Valentino continued talking to me, and I made my decision right then that regardless of our situation or if I got along with his family, I was going to keep my baby.
I didn’t know where Valentino was coming from, but he pulled up not even fifteen minutes later, screeching to a stop beside me and tugging on my door.
I hit the locks to let him in, and he crouched in the doorway, pulling me into his arms. “I’m right here, sweetheart.
I got you,” he murmured, lifting me out of my seat like I weighed next to nothing and carrying me over to his car.
Once he got me settled in the passenger seat, he went back to grab my things and pulled off.
The drive home was quiet aside from the low music he had playing.
He caressed my hand over the console, occasionally lifting it to his lips.
I didn’t even realize I’d fallen asleep until his door slammed, and I squinted against the bright lights of his garage.
Silent tears slipped out as I followed him inside and upstairs where he helped me undress, kissing my exposed body every time he removed an article of clothes.
“You’re a great nurse, baby. I don’t want you to doubt that because of today.” Kiss. “You’re smart and kind as fuck.” Kiss. “You’re caring as hell.” Kiss. “And you’ll still be just as wonderful at your job tomorrow as you were today.” Kiss.
He looked up at me as he crouched to take off my scrub bottoms, kissing each of my thighs before standing to his full height.
When he led me into the bathroom, the tub was already filled with bubbly water, and the jets were on.
I’d long since fallen in love with his state-of-the-art jacuzzi tub that he was able to control with an app on his phone.
It was one of those conveniences that had me sleeping at his house more than my own when I could, and today, it was even more amazing.
I slid down into the sudsy water, expecting that he would be joining me, but he rolled his sleeves up and sat on the outside instead.
Grabbing the sponge that he kept there for me, he started at my back, washing me as I continued to cry but much more quietly.
When he finished, he produced a warm towel to wrap me up in.
After rubbing my body down with oil and pulling a t-shirt over my head, Valentino laid with me and spoke life into me until I fell asleep in his arms.