CHAPTER 45
Not sure what else to do, Bryce made the bed—out of habit, mostly, but also because he knew she liked it that way. The simple task gave his hands something to do while his thoughts spun.
Downstairs, he brewed a pot of coffee and pulled eggs from the fridge, settling on omelets. He was hungry—and Beth looked like she hadn’t eaten since he left.
As he scrambled the eggs, his prayers didn’t stop.
“Almost four months, Lord, and we’re right back where we started. She’s in the shower, trying to find a way to leave me, and I’m out here trying to piece together what happened. This feels like a massive overreaction to one fight. There’s got to be something more going on. Help me out, Lord.”
He heard footsteps on the stairs and glanced up and saw her.
Beth was descending, a bag in her hand and her purse slung over her shoulder. The sight froze him in place. Then the heat hit—anger and frustration flaring fast and hard. She wouldn’t even look at him. Not even when he called her name.
“So that’s it?” Bryce snapped. “One fight and you’re leaving—without even talking to me?” His voice cracked like a whip, every ounce of restraint gone. Beth stopped but didn’t turn. She adjusted the strap on her shoulder, silent.
Bryce’s fist slammed against the island’s countertop.
“What the hell, Beth? I thought we were making this work! What about our plans—for raising our child? Is this because of what I said about Lynn? Or is it my past? Did you decide I’m not good enough for you—or our baby?”
He latched onto the only explanation that made sense, clinging to it like a lifeline. His voice shook with anger, his hands gripping the counter as old insecurities pushed their way to the surface.
Beth winced but still didn’t speak. Letting him think this was about their argument felt easier than facing the truth.
Wrapped in grief, she clung to the lie that leaving now would hurt less than staying and being rejected later. He already thought she was too much—too harsh, too judgmental. If he saw her like this—broken and empty—she just couldn’t believe he’d still want her.
The fear of losing him after losing their baby was too much. Hormonal, sleep-deprived, and drowning in grief, Beth acted on survival instincts, even though it was irrational and desperate.
She stepped into the elevator, set her bag at her feet, and stared at the buttons to avoid his eyes. Yet guilt clawed at her chest. Letting him believe this was about his past wasn’t fair.
Her voice was quiet. “Nothing could ever make me think you’re not good enough. And I’d never cut you out of your child’s life. I know how excited you were. What an amazing father you would’ve been.”
She drew in a shaky breath and pressed the elevator button.
“I had a miscarriage on Tuesday. And now that there’s no baby to tie us together, I don’t see the point in sticking around and waiting for you to ask me to leave.”
Just before the doors closed, she finally met his eyes.
The shock of her words wore off quickly. Vaulting over the counter, Bryce sprinted to the stairs, taking them two at a time. He burst into the parking garage and spotted Beth at her Jeep fumbling to get the door unlocked.
“Beth!” he called.
“Please just let me leave.”
“Not a chance. Not without talking first.”
“What’s the point? Deep down, we both know this was never going to work.”
“I know no such thing. The point is I love you and I’m not letting you walk out of my life.”
Beth’s voice cracked. “Did you not hear me upstairs? I had a miscarriage. I am no longer pregnant with your child,” Beth explained as if Bryce, a doctor, did not know what a miscarriage meant.
“I heard you,” Bryce said, stepping closer. “But that’s not why I love you.”
Beth stood rigid as he gently turned her to face him.
“Just let me go. There’s nothing to talk about.”
“Never. I told you I will always chase after you. I’m sorry we lost our baby, and I’m sorry you went through that pain alone. But I don’t want to lose you too. The baby wasn’t the reason we stayed married.”
As Beth shook her head, Bryce gently tilted her chin up.
“Our marriage wasn’t based on a pregnancy. Remember the flight back to Denver? We agreed that the possibility of a baby wasn’t reason enough to stay married. Why have you lost sight of that?”
“Because I know the statistics. Most marriages don’t survive the loss of a child.”
“We aren’t ‘most’ marriages.” His voice softened. “Do you love me?”
“Yes, but I don’t know if that will be enough.”
“It’s not.” Bryce smiled gently at her surprised look. “That’s why we need Christ and His work on the cross. That’s Who we need to cling to if we want to hold on to each other. That’s a truth you reminded me of when we first got married.”
Beth’s tears spilled over.
“What happened to change that, Sweetheart?”
Beth clung to him, crying harder. “I was so afraid you wouldn’t want me anymore if I wasn’t pregnant.
I kept replaying your words from Monday about how I’m too demanding and judgmental.
Why would you want someone like that when you don’t have to for the sake of a child?
The pain of passing the baby and the fear of rejection were just too much for me. ”
“Oh, honey, that’s not what I meant.” Bryce rubbed her back. “It’s freezing out here. Can we go back up to the loft, or do you want to go to your parents’?”
Beth realized how cold she was and agreed to go back upstairs, knowing she wasn’t ready to share this with her parents. Bryce grabbed her bag and with a hand on her lower back he guided her to the elevator.
Back in the loft, Bryce settled her on the couch with coffee before sitting across from her.
“There are so many things I want to say, I don’t even know where to begin.” He let his gaze rest on her face. “Lizzy, I wanted you long before you were married to me or pregnant. My attraction to you has nothing to do with a baby.”
Beth visibly began to relax.
“Monday—I am sorry. I didn’t mean you were too demanding or judgmental in general. I was specifically observing how Lynn might perceive your words.”
Seeing her acceptance of his apology and his words, he moved to sit beside her, wanting to pull her into his arms.
“Will you tell me what happened?” Bryce asked quietly.
Beth nodded but fidgeted. “Will you… will you hold me while I tell you?”
“Happily.”
She climbed into his lap, curling against his chest. Once settled, she began—her voice small but steady.
“I wanted to do the run we’d signed up for… plus, I was still upset from our call the night before. I thought it would help clear my head.”
She paused, the memory settling heavy in her chest.
“Around the second mile, I started cramping. I pushed through it and drank more water, figuring I was just dehydrated. It never crossed my mind that it could be the pregnancy and not the run. I mean, I had just made it out of the first trimester, so I thought I was safe. But I should have known.”
She pressed her face into his neck, and Bryce rubbed her back gently as she cried.
“I should’ve known better. I’m a nurse,” she whispered, the guilt thick in her voice.
He didn’t interrupt, . just held her tight.
After a long, shaky breath, Beth continued.
“After the run, I drank more water and headed to Jack Quinn’s for the post-run spaghetti dinner. I thought maybe the cramps were from hunger.” Her voice wavered. “But that wasn’t it.”
Her words faltered, the weight of it crashing down on Beth all over again. Bryce’s arms closed tighter around her, bracing them both for what came next.
“Bryce, I couldn’t even make it up the stairs to the pub. And I dou…” A hiccup cut off Beth’s words. Swallowing hard, she tried again. “I doubled over—the pain in my stomach was so intense. It felt like I was being stabbed. I was so dizzy. And that’s when I knew.”
Her voice cracked.
“I knew what was happening, and I couldn’t do anything to stop it.” She squeezed her eyes shut, as if doing so could block out the phantom pain that came with reliving it. Beth shuddered. “I just knew. Then I sat there… refusing help. I was in shock.”
Bryce kissed her temple, his arms tightening around her.
“Someone called 911,” she whispered. “When the EMTs arrived, I insisted they take me to Memorial instead of our hospital. I didn’t want to be treated by our co-workers.”
Bryce exhaled, his voice aching with regret. “I’m so sorry you went through that alone.”
Beth nodded, wiping at her tears. “It was a placental abruption. My blood pressure skyrocketed during the run, but I ignored the signs. Before I even got to the hospital… the placenta had completely detached. The cramps were contractions. The clots were huge.”
Her voice cracked as she fell apart again. “In the ambulance, they gave me magnesium sulfate, but it didn’t stop the contractions. One hit so hard… I could feel everything coming out. I felt our baby come out.”
Beth’s sobs broke free again, raw and uncontrollable.
Bryce’s tears joined hers.
“I’m so sorry,” he whispered, over and over.
“I’m sorry, Bryce. I shouldn’t have pushed myself so hard on the run. I pushed myself too hard—it’s all my fault.” Her words tumbled out, tripping over themselves in her desperation to apologize.
“Shhh, Sweetheart. It wasn’t your fault,” Bryce whispered, cradling her tighter. “Please don’t put that on yourself.”
Beth’s voice fell to a fragile whisper. “I held her. She was a girl.”
Bryce nodded, his heart breaking all over again.
“Are you okay? Did you stay overnight at the hospital?”
“I’m okay. There’s no internal damage, and it won’t affect future pregnancies. I was discharged after I received IV fluids.”
“I’m glad you’re okay,” was all he could manage as he kissed her temple, arms still holding her close.
“They still have her,” Beth whispered reverently.
Bryce nodded, understanding. He knew the protocol—genetic testing, formal reports, the clinical steps he’d walked countless families through in the ER.
But this time wasn’t a chart or a case. This was their daughter.
Emotionally and physically spent, Beth finally drifted into a peaceful sleep in his arms. Bryce stayed still, holding the fragile weight of her body against him.
A quiet, aching relief filled his chest—especially after coming home to find her ready to walk away.
He hurt for her—for all she’d endured alone. He hurt for himself, grieving the little girl he’d never get to meet.
While Beth slept in his arms, Bryce quietly pulled out his phone and typed a message to her mom. He hated to share something so devastating over text, but it felt worse not to say anything at all.
?Bryce:
Got to the loft. Beth is okay physically,
but she’s hurting. Sorry to share the news
over a text, but we were expecting, and
while I was in Boston… Beth lost the baby.
We’ll share more when we’re ready.
Be praying.?
The reply came almost immediately.
?Sue:
Oh Bryce, honey—we are so sorry.
Take care of our girl.
Give her our love and let us know
if you need anything. We love you both.?
Bryce stared at the screen for a long moment, his mother-in-law’s words soothing the raw pain inside him. Then he snuggled Beth just a little bit closer.
When he caught himself dozing, Bryce carefully gathered her into his arms. She felt light. Too light. But safe.
He carried her to bed and settled her gently onto her side. Then, he climbed in beside her, wrapping his frame protectively around hers.
It was too early to sleep on a normal day.
But today wasn’t normal.
Nothing about this was normal.
Bryce tucked the blanket around them and closed his eyes, whispering a silent prayer.
She was still here. Still in his arms.
And for now… that was enough.