Chapter 10 #2
Most of the hockey fans had already left, so she guided him across the nearly empty parking lot to her car, while Del, still asleep, wrapped her arms around his thick neck.
She felt more than heard it as he held his breath when she practically hugged him.
Lilly’s heart sank. Shit, she had to apologize to him, didn’t she?
Wordlessly, she opened the rear door so he could put her in the car seat. After buckling Del in and closing the door, she stood nervously in front of Austin. He smelled clean, like freshly mown grass and man. Just like old times.
And if she noticed that, she was probably standing too close to him, so she hastily took a step back. “Okay,” she said hesitantly, twirling the key between her fingers. “So, then…”
“My PR consultant asked me if you’d be willing to meet with her,” Austin said before she could escape. “She wants us to release the same information when it gets out.”
Lilly blinked, confused. “What information? When what gets out?”
He gave her an ironic look. “That I have a daughter. The press might notice that I didn’t have a child before and now I do.”
She swallowed. “The press?”
“Yes. Lucy wants us to tell the same story.”
“And what kind of story would that be?”
“That I’ve always had her, that she just lived in Italy where I visited her — and now that she’s living here with you, I’m happy to finally be able to see her more often,” he replied tonelessly.
She clicked her tongue. “So she wants us to lie.”
“No, I want us to lie,” he said earnestly, looking her in the eye.
“I don’t want Delfina to get hurt. If it says online that she was an accident and that I didn’t care about her for nine years, it’ll get around at her school and make her life difficult.
It’s complicated enough as it is because anyone who can do math will know that you had her while I was still married, but…
we’ll deal with that when the time comes. ”
“Oh God,” she murmured, putting a hand to her forehead. She felt a little dizzy. “I’ve never even considered that you’re…you're actually famous. That the press might be interested.”
“We don’t have to tell them right now, but…I don’t want Delfina to be my secret.”
“No, no, I understand,” she whispered, narrowing her eyes.
Yet another thing to worry about, as if she didn’t have enough on her plate supporting her parents, getting her dad to keep his doctor’s appointments, planning and preparing for her store opening, helping Del settle into school and the city, dealing with this Austin situation…
No, now she had to worry about paparazzi too.
“Everything okay?” he asked darkly.
She forced herself to look up and smile. “I’ll let you in on a secret, Austin. When you’re a single mom, you have no choice but to be okay. If I wasn’t, Del wouldn’t be either, and I can’t let that happen. So, yes. Everything’s okay. I’ve never been better! This whole situation is truly wonderful!”
“You wouldn’t have been a single mom…”
“Oh, stop it,” she replied harshly, shaking her head. “Even if you’d gotten my messages, I would have been in Italy and you would have been here. I would have been a single mother anyway—and there's no way I was giving up on my dream.”
Austin pressed his lips together and remained silent. His expression reminded her of what he’d said back then: He was probably the only twenty-four-year-old man who dreamed of having his own family.
She had ruined it for him. Not intentionally, but…the result was the same.
Shit.
She ran both hands through her hair. “Okay. Look. Just give Lucy my number. I’m happy to talk to her about what we’ll tell the press.
Anything better for Delfina is better for me, and…
” She took a deep breath and forced herself to look him in the eye.
“Austin,” she whispered, pulling her arms around herself.
“I’m sorry. For all of this…I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to rob you of her childhood.
I’m truly and sincerely sorry it happened that way.
It wasn’t my intention to hurt you like that — and I didn’t believe you yesterday, but I do now: you didn’t know about her, and that wasn’t fair.
I don’t care if you think I’m a liar or not.
I wrote to you multiple times. There was no other way to reach you than through the addresses I found online for your agent.
I didn’t have your phone number and you made sure no one knew your real address.
I only had what I could find online. I thought it would be enough.
I thought you knew about her because I received confirmation that at least the emails had reached you and…
” She wiped a meddlesome tear from her cheek.
“It breaks my heart that I hated you for not wanting to be a part of her life, even though that’s obviously not true.
” The words felt like fist-sized, sharp-edged stones she had to swallow.
But he needed to know that she hadn’t meant any harm.
And that she was sorry. “I know I can’t undo it.
All I can promise is that I’ll try to get along with you and find an arrangement that works for both of us, as long as you continue to show that you’re… making an effort with her.”
Austin didn’t reply. He just stared at her, as if he didn’t know what to think, let alone say.
“All right,” she whispered, her shoulders sagging.
“That’s all. We’ll work it out, okay? I don’t want to keep her from you.
She’s overjoyed to have met you and…well, it’s your right to hate me, but don’t do it in front of her.
She’s incredibly smart and notices everything and I am her mom.
She’ll defend me if she sees a reason to.
It won’t help you gain her trust and make her happy if you’re always looking at me like I’m holding a gun to your chest and calling hockey stupid. ”
“A harpoon,” he muttered.
“What?”
“I think your weapon of choice would be a harpoon. A gun wouldn’t hurt enough. And are you telling me you think hockey is stupid?”
She had to bite her cheek to keep from laughing. He was absolutely right: A harpoon would be her first choice if he hurt Del. “I don’t know enough about hockey to think it’s stupid.”
“But you knew me well enough back then to think I was stupid?”
She bit her lip. “I felt like I did,” she whispered honestly. “Well, you did lie…” …and you broke my heart a little. “But it doesn’t matter. You said you were going to be gone for a while. When would you like to see Del again?”
He nodded. “I’d like to see her alone.”
She hesitated.
“Lilly…”
“It’s not a 'no.' But maybe we should all meet up again first so she can get used to you. She’s tough and loud and likes to crack jokes, but she was incredibly nervous tonight, so it’ll take time for her to feel comfortable around you. So give her some time.”
He sighed heavily, as if agreeing with her was physically painful, but finally nodded.
“Good. I’m away for a series of games for the next few days. When I’m back…will you two come over for dinner?”
“Sure.”
He nodded. “I’ll text you my address and the time and I’ll call her briefly every evening to talk, if that’s okay.”
“Sure. She doesn’t have a phone yet, at least not one she’s allowed to use outside of school, so…”
“I’ll call you,” he whispered.
“Yes.”
“I have a feeling I’ll be seeing and hearing from you more than any woman I’ve ever dated.”
She suppressed a smile. “Maybe that’s why you’re single.”
“Maybe comments like those are why you are.”
“Who says I’m single?” she asked, raising her eyebrows.
“The private investigator who’s shadowing you for me,” he muttered before turning and leaving.
She watched him go, her mouth gaping and her heart pounding. “I don’t need a detective to find dirt on you, you know?” she shouted angrily. “I just use Google.”
“You are my dirt, Lilly,” he retorted loudly. “Wasn’t that abundantly clear to you?”